The lingering story of a post-90s girl and her uncles

I met Xiaoqing on the plane to France. At that time, I didn’t realize that this stylish and charming girl who exudes maturity in her speech and behavior turned out to be only twenty-two years old. He has a tact and frankness that belies his age. Xiaoqing said that she went to France to relax and to find her first lover, an old man in his sixties.

Text/Mo Xiaoxi QQ: 2942547

I didn’t ask about Xiaoqing’s relationship experience, and her proactive conversation gradually turned into talking. Although I kept listening, she kept She was talking, but our conversation was like that of friends for many years. She did not shy away from anything, and even told me very private things that happened during her time with her three boyfriends. Xiaoqing said that she likes and is good at communicating with people of different ages, and I can tell. This also confirms the authenticity of what she said. Her three boyfriends were all "uncle" who were over forty years old.

Three years ago, Xiaoqing was a student at a well-known university in Beijing. In addition to studying hard, she also used her spare time to earn money to support herself. Xiaoqing's father divorced her mother very early. , and almost never took care of their mother and daughter. It was very hard for her mother to support the family by herself, and she was unable to ensure that Xiaoqing enjoyed a good university life in Beijing. At least she was not very financially well-off.

Xiao Qing is a very hard-working girl. She did many part-time odd jobs during college to support herself. The best-paying job among them was working as a part-time tour guide because her English was very good. It was at that time that she met an old French man in his sixties who came to China to travel during a tour guide. He later became Xiaoqing's first boyfriend. Regarding the beginning of that relationship, Xiaoqing said that she was definitely not greedy for the old man's money, and he had no money, and was even very strapped because he liked to travel around the world. But he was a funny and happy person, romantic and thoughtful, so in the short time that Xiao Qing was his tour guide, he naturally won Xiao Qing's love. Xiao Qing said that she had never been in love at that time and didn't understand much. Love, but she felt very solid and happy being with him.

He is a restless man, and his footsteps are destined to wander around. Xiaoqing said that they knew the result when they started, and he didn't hide anything. Xiaoqing chose to spend every day with him happily. She felt that he was her boyfriend and her father, and she felt that he was protected and loved by him. Lian

The feeling of love accompanied Xiaoqing through the two years after college. To this day, she still misses that relationship very much, even though that person has been to many places in the past two years, and there may have been There were many women, but she felt that she still had a very important position in his heart, so after experiencing several subsequent relationships, she decided to go to France to see him. She knew the trip would probably still be fruitless, but she said being able to see him was what she wanted.

When she graduated from college, Xiaoqing had very little homework. After several years of hard work, she became financially better off and didn’t have to go out to work every day to make money, so she took a lot of elective courses to pass the time. During that period, she became obsessed with A teacher over forty years old. Xiaoqing said that the personable man is really fascinating. He has a deep and magnetic voice and a slightly weathered appearance. He speaks in a humorous manner and his lectures are not rigid. Most girls choose his class because of it. He went not to attend lectures.

At that time, Xiaoqing was a little crazy about him. She wished she had his class every day, and even tried to get close to him after class in the name of solving problems. The teacher did not reject Xiaoqing and never refused her approach, but he was too smart and had insight into the little girl's character early on. They had always had contact and connection, but whenever Xiaoqing expected a little breakthrough, he They will always stop at the right time, so they are just friends, but Xiaoqing feels that he is the person she loves, which is a bit platonic.

When she graduated, Xiaoqing specially invited him to dinner. Xiaoqing boldly said that her biggest regret was not confessing her love to him directly. He smiled and said that this was the best thing Xiaoqing did. , otherwise the clear friendship and teacher-student relationship between them will change. Xiaoqing's self-evaluation of this relationship is very true, silly and beautiful, although it also has no results and never even started.

Xiao Qing is now floating in Beijing, working as a freelance writer. Because she likes photography, she also wanders around, recording life with words and images. This also destined her footsteps to stagger in wandering for the time being. Xiaoqing's biggest wish is to write a few good books, but she said she doesn't have the ability yet and needs to go through some more things and gain some experience.

Xiaoqing attributed the reason for her current state to the fact that she went to school too early. She went to elementary school at the age of five. She learned a lot of things but also missed many things that needed to be slowly accumulated and accumulated. So she decided to travel around and do freelance work in the few years after graduating from college, not only to increase her accumulation, but also to make up for the regret of not having enough fun as a child.

Xiaoqing joined a self-driving car convoy to travel to Tibet last year, and met a Sichuan traveler on the way. The two of them felt very good this time, and had close contact at the end of the trip. Xiaoqing felt that it was a natural thing, and even the most intimate details were described without concealment.

She said that of course her third boyfriend was not a boyfriend, and he was not even educated, but he had a rough appearance and an open personality. Xiaoqing said that it was rare to see that kind of wolf-like man in the city, and she did not. She was really in love with that man, but she loved the feeling of being with him. That uncle made her feel safe, and gave her the feeling that she could rely on him even though she knew she couldn't rely on him.

After experiencing three loves, all of which have no results, Xiaoqing is still full of expectations for the future. It can be heard from her words that she is unwilling to associate with people of the same age. She said that she is used to it. Wrapped in the atmosphere of vicissitudes of life, it is difficult to tolerate those immature boys.

Of course I can't understand Xiaoqing's state of mind, nor can I agree with her actions, but I feel a touch of sadness from her story. They say that people born in the 1990s are not mature enough, but they are mature. Is it good? I don’t want to judge Xiaoqing, because she gave me a very good impression from beginning to end, although I don’t like little girls who are too mature and sophisticated. Under her mature appearance, she hides a simple and innocent heart. No one has the right to criticize other personal matters as long as they don't harm others.

Xiao Qing said that her favorite movie is "Nine Songs". She doesn't understand why that movie is denounced as alien by many people. She feels that the movie is so clean that only music and sex are left, without anything else. Violence, no ugly dealings, no intrigues. I think I can probably understand why Xiaoqing loves her uncle so much. She may be a typical new person who highly advocates herself, and she is looking for her own foothold in self-promotion and departure from tradition. Obedience is not necessarily right, and rebellion is not necessarily wrong. I think such a girl's love story may be a revelation to more young people.