Quotes about women

1. Vegetables cannot be kept fresh forever, so why do you want to be famous in other people’s lives forever~~

2. It is not terrible for a woman to lose her virginity and heart, it is terrible There is no amnesia...

3. People always like to treat facts as jokes, and then use jokes to cover up the facts!

4. Everyone thinks that they are the only one in the world, so there is no one in the world.

5. Living a boring life proves that the imagination is too beautiful. The imagination is too beautiful, which proves that the experience is too little. The experience is too little, so the life is boring...

6. In fact, The more dangerous/exciting/the more beautiful/the more epic the love, no matter the ending, everyone wants to experience it~

7. Death is what people face from birth, so troubles are nothing...

8. An unforgettable love is like a tragedy that stopped broadcasting midway. It is not sad because of the sad ending, but unforgettable because it did not wait until the day to see the ending...

9. Face Regarding life, some people strive to become the most beautiful in their limited life, while some people are redoubling their lives and getting close to returning...

10. You can’t get some people because you don’t Understand greed. You will lose some people because you are too greedy. It is difficult to be a human being, and it is even more difficult to be a woman. It is even more difficult to be a woman who can grasp the balance of greed!

11. There must be darkness in innocent people

12. As a woman, you should actually trust men. Just like being willing to believe that world peace will come, although you also know that there are constant wars in the world now

13. The best way to see whether a man loves you is to see whether he brings you into his world. , in his life

14. Dissatisfaction is a suspended replacement, which makes people constantly have the desire to climb up in comparison.

15. Women must choose: it is not safe to be with a man that both women like; it is not happy to be with a man that women do not like.

16. There are two kinds of contradictions that can never be reconciled in the world: one is the class contradiction, and the other is the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

17. When one door of happiness closes, another will open. We often stare at closed doors and turn a blind eye to open doors.

18. The advantage of marriage is that you will always have a place of your own. The problem is that you can only have this place forever.

19. Being beautiful can only provide eyesight to others, but it does not necessarily lead to happiness.

20. You want a man who is 20 points to love you 100 points, but you don’t want a man who is 100 points to love you 20 points.

21. The person you love desperately may be the least worthy of love; the person you love with reservations may be the most worthy of love.

22. If a woman wants to live a better life, she still has to take the path of becoming masculine on the inside and feminine on the outside.

23. Don’t frown even if you are unhappy, because you never know who will fall in love with your smile. Wise Quotes

1. If you are cut into pieces with a thousand cuts, you will not be able to kill your head with just one.

2. If you can’t cross the river, don’t blame the water in your crotch.

3. You will die if you compare with others, and you will throw away when you compare goods.

4. If you step on Wowotou, there will be no good cake!

5. I have never been a soldier or a bandit!

6. When a weasel lays mice, one litter is worse than the next.

7. When the crow lands on the pig, no one can blame anyone.

8. The itchy skin is not scary, the scary thing is the itchy heart!

9. It doesn’t matter if your head is empty, the key is not to get water.

10. The meat on the belly will only accumulate thickly, not thinly.

11. Garbage is exported garbage.

12. Weight is like a chicken’s butt, growing every year!

13. It is better to run into a wall than to run into a wall at home.

14. You kid, you are so crazy, your breath is louder than athlete’s foot.

15. The old seas and stones are in ruins, but they are no match for the good times of gathering and separation.

16. There is no limit to learning and money can make a boat, and there are shortcuts in the mountains of books.

17. My eyes still hurt after I looked at you yesterday.

18. Buying two rotten eggplants for thirty cents doesn’t mean you have a high or low price.

19. As a typical failure, you are so successful!

20. Whose child would not love a basket of radishes and eggplants?

21. There is no way out of the mountains and rivers, but it takes no effort at all!

22. Whoever delays me for a while, I will make him regret it for the rest of his life.

23. Sleep is the best tool to test the teacher’s teaching level.

24. There are no unchanging promises, only endless lies.

25. The 30-degree smile at the corner of your mouth cannot be found in Baidu search.

26. Don’t go that far. Who’s sure you can live to that day?

27. What is your lung capacity? How can you boast so much?

28. I have never been cheated by anyone, because those who cheated me are not human beings.

29. Whether riding a bicycle is fashionable or not depends on whether you are really poor.

30. Sows can actually climb trees when they think so.

31. My ideal is to be a bather for the human soul.

32. Who said tofu can’t kill people? Try frozen tofu next time.

33. The early bird catches the worm, and the early bird catches the worm.

34. People like you can only live for 2 episodes at most in a TV series!

35. If you leave first, don’t blame me for turning my back to you when you turn around.

36. God will definitely forgive me, because that is his profession.

37. Don’t come to me if you have nothing to do, and don’t come to me if something happens.

38. The world is so wonderful, but I am so impatient, no, no!

39. Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

40. Those who tell the truth are covered in bruises. Those who tell lies are covered in beauty.

41. Serious objection to Phoenix TV inserting TV series during advertisements!

42. Regret means that you lost when you deserved it but didn’t lose it when you deserved to lose.

43. After studying for more than ten years, I think it is easier to get along in kindergarten!

44. Happiness is a comparative level. You must have something at the bottom to feel it.

45. Only by looking at others harshly can you see their shamelessness.

46. There are many ways to destroy friendship, and the most radical one is to borrow money.

47. Your current dreams determine your future, so just sleep a little longer!

48. God said: Don’t forget to bring an umbrella when you go out. I will water the flowers soon.

49. After passing this village, there will be no shop like this. If you eat these buns, you will lose the filling.

50. Only when you hold your hand, you will know that your son is ugly, and your face will burst into tears. If you don’t leave, I will leave.

51. Some idol dramas are very pure, with no acting skills at all.

52. No matter how rotten the mud is, as long as it is turned over to the wall, something will stick to it.

53. Wear other people’s shoes, go your own way, and let them find it.

54. Apart from love, there are also radishes in other people’s fields that you can’t extricate yourself from.

55. Sometimes life is like a computer. If it crashes, it crashes without any negotiation.

56. The highest state of a shameless person is to be completely unaware of his shamelessness.

57. When you were born, were you thrown up three times and only caught twice?

58. Asshole is the continuation of dreams, the embodiment of ideals. Cheers to Asshole!

59. If you love me, say it out loud! If you hate me, just hide it in your heart for the rest of your life!

60. God, did you let summer and winter have the same room? What a hell of a weather! .

61. My recent work has not been outstanding, my performance has not been outstanding, and my lumbar intervertebral disc has been slightly herniated.

62. Marriage is the tomb of love. If I love too much, I want to sleep in the tomb.

63. There are not many people washing their hearts, but the streets are full of people washing their feet. Virtue is rare, beauty is everywhere.

64. Sleep is an art and no one can stop me from pursuing art.

65. I spend all my time losing weight except eating, and you still say I don’t have perseverance?

66. If your ugliness can generate electricity, nuclear power plants around the world can be stopped.

67. Do you think I will watch you die? I'll close my eyes!

68. Chinese football is April Fool’s Day every day. Spending dozens of dollars to watch a game is fake.

69. The world is like a large claw machine. I only want you through the glass window.

70. If I became the HR manager, the first thing I would do is to promote myself to be the boss.

71. You can live like a pig, but you will never be as happy as a pig.

72. The old woman on the Naihe Bridge is already selling Pepsi Cola. How can I forget you?

73. Life is like an electrocardiogram. If you want it to be smooth sailing without ups and downs, you will have to die.

74. I know that there are always banquets in the world, but at least, I want to have a good time at the banquet!

75. A person who knows his tastes is smart in all aspects, a person who knows his fortune is wise enough to protect himself, and a person who knows his reason has a miserable life.

76. The most romantic thing I can think of is that you are getting older day by day, but I am still young.

77. The reason why life is short is because you forget it when you are alive and realize it when you die.

78. My name on my girlfriend’s mobile phone is him. After we broke up, I became it.

79. When you are passionately in love, you promise to have a good relationship in the next life. After getting married, you often suspect that it was a bad relationship in the previous life.

80. Those who praise cows do so because they care about milk. Those who praise the sheep do so because they remember the mutton.

81. The only criterion I use to test whether a person is sexy or not is: whether he or she eats too much, and whether the food tastes good or not.

82. Buying a computer but not having broadband is like having all the food and wine prepared but becoming a monk before eating.

83. There is Yan Ruyu in the book. I want to read it because I have had or maintained improper relationships with many women!

84. I want to find a man who looks like King Kong to stand on the tallest building in the United States and masturbate for me.

85. Actually, I don’t know how to tell jokes, but someone always asks me to tell one, and before I tell it, you all laugh.

86. Boss, is money really that important to you? I talked for more than three hours and didn’t get a penny drop? 60 Funny Wishes_Classic Funny Wishes

1 What women are good at is just makeup, but what men are good at is disguise.

2 Don’t go that far, who is sure you can live to that day!

3 A woman’s belly is enlarged by men, and a man’s belly is enlarged by men. The former is due to fertilization and the latter is due to alcohol.

4 A true warrior dares to face his face without makeup.

5 Many people think they are thinking when they reorganize their prejudices.

6 In work, if you take a step back, the sky will be brighter. In love, if you take a step back, the sky will be empty.

7 I bought a one-inch monitor so my mistakes look smaller!

8 The eternal oath is a heavyweight commitment that often embarrasses mountains and oceans.

9 When I reach the end of my life, I realize that those who are lagging behind others are actually blessed!

10 Everyone is an odd number... When they come... They are also when they go...

11 If eating more fish can nourish the brain and make people smarter, then You have to eat at least a pair of whales

12. How do girls pretend to be innocent? Just replace all the words "I" with "人" when speaking, it's that simple!

13. There are too many helpless choices in life.

Society is like a river and lake, where people can't help themselves and what they say doesn't mean what they say.

14 I want to marry a wife, but I don’t want to fall in love.

15 The future is bright, but there is no road.

16 Don’t think that by inserting your penis into the ground, you are raping the entire earth.

17 Your lover is a crocodile, he may swallow you up at any time;

Your secretary is a turtle, delicious but you can’t taste it every day;

Your sister-in-law is a goldfish, you can see and eat No;

My wife is just a salted fish, she will be fine no matter how long she leaves it.

18 You said you would wait for me to come back. You did, and you found someone to wait with you.

19 Follow me, I will take you to sleepwalk!

20 In the process of practicing dancing, every experience is unforgettable, full of blood and tears, broken muscles and bones, too numerous to describe!

21 Men, men, don’t bother women.

You are not allowed to smoke or drink.

You will be happy when she bothers others one day, right?

22 When I’m bored, I say to the mirror: Handsome, you are so handsome!

23 The mediocre man is so angry that he robs the earth with his head.

24 It’s not necessarily the virgins who cry out in pain, but they are the ones who seduce men.

25 When you go to kindergarten, you lose your innocence;

When you go to elementary school, you lose your childhood;

When you go to junior high school, you lose your happiness;

When you go to high school, you lose your thoughts;

When you go to college, you lose your pursuits;

When you graduate, you lose your major;

When you go to work, you lose your career The edge is lost;

In love, the reason is lost;

In mortgage, the rest of life is lost;

In marriage, the passion is lost;

Doing business, you lose your bottom line;

Going abroad, you lose your ancestors;

Weibo, you lose the luxury of privacy.

26 Marriage is like a piece of chewing gum. Not only does it taste less and less the more you chew it, but it also sticks to your teeth.

27 Remember what should be remembered;

Forget what should be forgotten;

Change what can be changed;

Accept what cannot be changed .

28 Hey, girls nowadays really have no taste!

29 They said the Internet was fake, but I laughed as if reality was real.

30 I don’t know whose wife is on my bed, I don’t know whose bed my wife is on!

31 Housing prices are getting higher and higher, and there are fewer and fewer good men.

32 You wear sesame oil with your hair parted, and travel around all day long. When you see a girl, you want to get stuck, and you accidentally become a blind drifter.

33 As a very traditional man, I have always adhered to the ancient system of monogamy and multiple concubines.

When you are a grown-up, the first thing you feel when you meet someone you like is fear.

35 Pure, fictitious. Chaos is the beauty.

36 If you are not comfortable as an adult, you will not be a grown-up if you are comfortable~~

37 Experience from the officialdom - I know flattery from a distance, but I will see others as time goes by.

38 What I envy is not the couple in their prime, but the couple who support them until they grow old.

39. Others laugh at me for being crazy, but I laugh at others because they can’t see through it.

There are no tombs of the heroes of Wuling, no flowers, no wine, no hoeing for the fields.

40 Why doesn’t the earth take me with it when it rotates?

41 I’m giving you the heaviest poop gift since I’ve had poop. You will definitely eat a pound and eat more. If you feel the poop volume is not enough, please relieve yourself!

42 The files are endless and our youth will be consumed.

43 A green dragon on the left, a white tiger on the right, and a Mickey Mouse tattoo on the shoulder.

44 I am not afraid of death. I am afraid that no one will love you as much as I do after I die.

45 Where are the beautiful women?

On the plane. In high-end buildings and villas. In a top-of-the-line sedan. In a luxurious private room. In a super shopping area.

46 Looking at your streamlined body, I am burning with desire. I push open your unopened cover, insert the stick I prepared, and absorb your crystal liquid. It feels so good! Sprite.

What to do after 47? Talk about it later! ! !

48 Bajie, my teacher is in the middle of a fierce battle with Fairy Chang'e. I will go to Gao Laozhuang to see you later.

49 Melatonin said that school will start today. If you want to skip classes, skip professional classes. .

Hui Renbao said that if he ran away, I would run away too.

Dabao said did you escape today?

Hao Di said that only when everyone escapes can they really escape.

Colgate said our goal is that no one attends class!

50 Life is like being raped: either resist or enjoy it;

Work is like whoring: if you can’t do it, let others take it;

Society is like Masturbation; everything must be solved with your own hands!

51 When looking for a wife, look for a serious person, and when looking for a lover, look for a decent person.

52 is the remainder in division.

53 I admire that I can find my ex-girlfriend who broke up 12 years ago through Google!

54 Time is like cleavage, as long as you squeeze it, there will always be some!

55 A low-key and boring high-profile is a sign of being beaten.

56 People invented clothes to hide their shame and took off their clothes because of fashion. ―The relationship between civilization and clothes.

57 You have the right to remain silent and everything you say will be recorded.

You can ask for a proxy server. If you can't afford one, the network will assign one to you.

58 The four great tragedies in life:

A drop of rain comes after a long drought;

Meeting an old friend in a foreign land, a creditor;

A night of flowers and candles in the bridal chamber, Next door;

When nominated for the gold list, I was dreaming.

59 Don’t force yourself into a world that you can’t enter. Why bother if you make it difficult for others and harm yourself?

60 It’s good to know what you are. Funny witticisms

1. Girl, do you hold your head high and don’t lower your head, and don’t let your eyes wander to dogs easily?

2. The seven-day National Day holiday is not enough to express my love for the motherland. One month is enough.

3. Only if I love you will I fight with you. Otherwise, why bother risking your youth on tomorrow?

4. You waste air when you are alive, waste land when you are dead, and waste RMB at home.

5. Compare hearts to hearts, exchange hearts for hearts, I will treat you as you treat me! From now on! Be sweet in your mouth and ruthless in your heart. It's time to stay, it's time to roll around. Either be patient, be ruthless, or get out.

6. River God: My child, which one is yours, this golden ax or this silver ax? Woodcutter: None. River God: What about this iron axe? Woodcutter: No, give me back my diamond axe. River God: I won’t give it.

7. If it rains handsome men from the sky, then let the rain kill me!

8. Guest: Can I have a taste of this orange? Stall owner: No.

Guest: Then how do I know whether your oranges are sour or not? Stall owner: You can watch me eat it and see through my expression whether the orange is sour or not.

9. You are the Tarim Basin, and I am the Pacific water vapor. I have traveled long distances and tried my best to get close to you, but I can never reach your heart.

10. Old people cannot be beaten, children cannot be beaten, women cannot be beaten, and men should be beaten to death.

11. If men are not jealous, they will not be emotionally rich; if women are not jealous, families will not be harmonious; if children are not jealous, their studies will not progress; if old people are not jealous, they will become more confused as they live; if everyone is jealous, society will progress; Be more confused and more chic.

12. In the workplace, one should be like Conan, with the domineering attitude of letting others die wherever he goes.

13. Not everyone can live a low-key life. The basis for being low-key is that you can be high-profile at any time.

14. Pink light, flirting with each other, tugging and tugging, not being able to see anyone.

15. One day, Xiao Ming was reading ancient Chinese prose, and his father asked him what he was doing. Xiao Ming said: Guwen (roll). Dad: Huh? Xiao Ming said again: Guwen (roll). Then he beat Xiao Ming.

16. Every time I see a thin person on the street, I want to give her some meat because I have a kind heart.

17. There are no bad words in the world. If you do too much homework, you will have everything.

18. If you wear something trendy, if it is too trendy, it means you are not mainstream. If you dress sexy, if it is too sexy, you will be on the stage.

19. Bajie, don’t think that you are a night pig when you stand under the lighthouse.

20. A good wife will never ask her husband to buy her this or that; a good husband will never wait for his wife to ask before buying.

21. Teacher, if you continue to ignore the school bell, then we will ignore the school bell.

22. It’s been so long since I’ve held hands, even holding pickled pepper chicken feet feels tender.

23. When a man is fined for illegal parking, he will quarrel with the police, and the woman will try to persuade him; when a woman is fined for illegal parking, she will quarrel with the man next to her, and the police will try to persuade her.

24. Flowers are easy to disperse, dreams are easy to wake up, but you, the only one in my life, will never disappear in my life.

25. Some men are as smart as the weather and changeable. Some women are as stupid as weather forecasters, unable to tell when the weather is changing.

26. Brother, is your nickname Qiugao? I'm totally pissed off at you.

27. The most beautiful thing in the world is not that I love you, but that your tumor is benign!

28. If I were the only farmer in the world, I would definitely be the next Bill Gates.

29. I haven’t received your message for a long time, and I feel very sad. When I thought about death, I cut my veins with potato chips, hit my head with tofu, jumped over a building with a parachute, and hung myself with noodles.

30. In class, the teacher asked the students to make sentences using sad words. Xiao Ming stood up without thinking and said: There is a small river in front of my house. I am so sad! Teacher: I’m even sadder!

31. If being rich is also a mistake, then I would rather make the same mistake again and again.

32. The people living in some areas are so pitiful. It rains almost every day!

33. A knowing smile, a comforting word, and an unspoken hug are enough.

34. If the car wants to downshift, the speed should be appropriate. Once you step on the clutch, release the accelerator, and at the same time put it in neutral, lift the clutch quickly, add the appropriate amount of oil when empty, then step on the clutch again to change to a new gear, and slowly lift the clutch to keep the gear. superior.

35. I really feel that some people are not only mean on the outside, but also mean on the inside.

36. We are actually all three good students. Our three good things are: playing well, eating well, and sleeping well.

37. In spring, you plant a girlfriend in the back mountain, and in autumn, it will bear cuckolds all over the mountains and fields!

38. The tragedy of life is that when you want to cut both ways, you only have one knife.

39. If you grow up like this, have no money, no savings, no house, don’t fall in love. Why force yourself and embarrass others.

40. Remember to smile when you encounter lightning, because it is the sky taking a picture of you.

41. I meddle with mice every day and let dogs and cats rest. This is also a sign of caring for small animals.

42. She is mine, don’t touch her! You can’t afford to pay for it if it gets damaged. If you think it’s cute, please repost it!

43. You pretend to be very cold every time you finish an exam, because when others are having a heated discussion about whether the answer is A or B, you can't figure out why you chose C.

44. A man won five million. He went to his girlfriend and told her, "I won five million, let's split it!" My girlfriend was so moved that she nodded! After not seeing anyone for several days, the woman yelled: Damn this grandson, I thought he was sharing money with me!

45. My dad stroked my head today and said: I believe that one day your head will fall to the ground.

46. It would be great to wake up early and practice morning jogging in the spring, and meet a handsome guy.

47. Heaven has not given me any great responsibilities, but it still tortures my mind and strains my muscles and bones.

48. Love till the end of the world, seas and rocks turning to pieces, heaven and earth becoming one, these are all lies of love. I just want to hold your hand until the last second of my life!

49. Don’t hold grudges against people who say bad things about you, because they use another way to let you see yourself clearly.

50. There will be many unexpected things in this world. For example, you thought I would give an example.

51. You and I don’t need any triviality to prove how much we care, there is only a self-evident tacit understanding.

52. Brothers are like hands and feet, and women are like clothes. If anyone touches my hands or feet, I will take off his clothes!

53. You can live like a pig, but you will never be as happy as a pig.

54. The great thing about Xinwen Network is that you can still watch a piece of news completely even if you keep changing channels.

55. The consequences of a diaosi and a rich and handsome man kissing a goddess forcefully, the former is bang! The latter is bang bang bang.

56. When you see someone you like on the street, you immediately start showing off.

57. If he ignores you, he may be scalded while drinking water, hit the corner of the table with medicine, and the bleeding stops. He is sent to the hospital in an ambulance and has a car accident. Don’t think about it. How can he be having a good time chatting with others? .

58. Being single is not difficult. What is difficult is dealing with those people who try their best to make you end your singlehood.

59. When a person of the same sex pouts at you and pretends to kiss you, if you avoid you, you will lose! The most effective thing is to kiss him too! If he avoids you, you win. If he doesn’t avoid you, I wish you happiness!

60. The most cruel thing I heard a girl say to me is: You are not worthy of me washing your hair!

61. What is happiness? Happiness is when cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Ultraman fights little monsters.

62. The unsent message that I like you still remains on my phone.

63. Don’t pry me with mysterious words, don’t look at me with suspicious eyes, you should understand me and trust me. My love for you will not change in this life.

64. Don’t eat from the bowl and worry about what’s in the pot. Eat directly from the pot and worry less.

65. Whenever you invite me to dinner, I will go out and buy you a bag of crispy noodles.

66. I picked up a mouse pad yesterday and want to equip it with a computer. What do you think is missing?

67. Some people fall in love, and some people drive at night to see the sea. Dawn is the future.

68. You have to remember that no matter how estranged we become in the end, a red envelope can bring us back to the beginning.

69. You won’t pick up a dime on the ground, but you will go crazy grabbing a dime online.

70. The best wishes are not written on the greeting card, but in the notes column of the transfer.

71. It is not scary to meet a group of hooligans on the Internet, but the scary thing is to run into a bunch of rogue software.

72. You were tanned in the bright sunshine in the south, and I was frozen to pieces in the cold nights in the north.

73. Although I don’t like seafood, mermaids are still acceptable.

74. Keep your original warmth and sunshine. This is what attracted me the most in the first place.

75. When I was playing mahjong with three girls, they said they didn’t want to play with money, so I said, just use whatever you have. As a result, I won three packs of sanitary napkins, two packs of paper towels, and one bottle of Fuyanjie.

76. If I could, I would spend every minute and every second of my life with you, but now all I can do is think about you every minute and every second!

77. After searching on Baidu, the best answer was that my girlfriend was being teased at the finish line.

78. When you grow up, you want to marry Tang Seng. If you can play with him, play with him; if you can’t play with him, eat him.

79. It’s not that I don’t fold quilts, it’s mainly because I’m nostalgic and I just like the quilt I slept on the day before. I am forced to elevate this issue of living habits to the level of personality cultivation.

80. As for me, you should never challenge my bottom line, otherwise I will revise it again.

81. One time when I came home, my uncle beat me and said: You were absent from class. I waited for you in primary school for an hour and didn’t see you. I cried and said to him: I am in the first grade of junior high school!

82. It is recommended that the country replace the chairs used in class with swivel chairs like those used in The Voice of China, so that students can turn around and listen if they think the teacher speaks well.

83. When a man doesn’t belong to you, he makes you sigh what perfection is; when he belongs to you, he makes you sigh what reality is.

84. I know you don’t love me, but my longing for you is as unstoppable as the tide.

85. Only you can cherish my affection, only you can understand my heart, and only you can accept my love.

86. I thought about the five words "especially able to endure hardship", and I only did the first four.

87. The only liar in the world is sincere, because he sincerely lies to you.

88. Play seriously when you play, and sleep seriously when you study. Are you the same?

89. In such a strong wind, girl, my hair is really in various postures, placement, surging, and floating.

90. There is only one earth, so everyone must take care of it; there is only one earth, so everyone must take care of me.

91. This end of prosperity does not cost the city or the country, but it costs everything I have.