My dream is vaguely my hometown.

1. The youngest left home and the oldest came back.

Is this my old hometown? Is this my hometown where I miss and want to revisit countless times, but I can't do it for countless reasons? Yes, indeed, this is my former hometown! This is my hometown that I have missed and revisited countless times!

When I got off the bus that day, I stood in the courtyard of the Taishanmiao township government in nanzhao county, overlooking the Daise Taizi Mountain and Sanjian Mountain. They were ups and downs, layered on top of each other, like a fairy's colored pen, smearing a wonderful picture of pale blue poetry and painting between heaven and earth; Looking closely at the lifelike old turtle slope, the Yahekou Reservoir is sparkling and smooth as a mirror; On the bank of the reservoir, the "village-to-village" cement road winds like a snake, with a winding path leading to a secluded place; In the shade, the farmers' blue tiles and red walls appear and disappear, trying to show their shame. ...

Out of town, wandering all the way. Accompanied by a few literary and art friends, pointing to the villages with lush trees, I always introduced their names: Xiaoxinzhuang, Daxinzhuang, Daluogou, Xiaoluogou, Shishuwa, Southwest Gang, Steep Slope, Houzhuang ... These well-known village names suddenly reminded me of my childhood memories and made me instantly return to my carefree and innocent childhood. My friend and I were about the same age. When we were children, we plunged into the water in the reservoir and learned how to breed dogs. Catch cicadas on the tree together and hide and seek under the tree; Let's eat chickens, wolves eat sheep, stars celebrate the moon, and pheasants cut broadswords in front of the door and in the wheat fields. ...

After a while, "take a quick look at the flowers" and finally "dismount and enjoy the flowers". A group of people came to Xiaoxinzhuang, where I lived for many years as a child, and visited a farmhouse with blue tiles and earth walls. The villagers in the neighborhood came to visit after hearing about it, and the main room with one room and three rooms was packed. I told them that I lived in this village when I was a child.

They looked surprised and said they didn't remember me. It was not until I told them my parents' names that they nodded and chatted with me excitedly. One of my colleagues, who has been sitting next to me staring at me, suddenly asked me: Really ... Were you called "Liu" when you were a child? I can't help a tingle, suddenly froze-

Liu is my nickname! When I was a child, my parents were very delicate, so I was recognized as a "delicate name" by a large family named Liu! This colleague actually knows my nickname! He must be my childhood playmate, right? My eyes immediately moistened, and I immediately searched my mind for the names of my childhood playmates: Yang Xiaosi, Yang, Mao Wu and He. ...

I said these names one by one, and he shook his head in denial. I asked him your name politely. He said doubtfully. I can't remember at all. He said, not his original name? Or is it too long? I forgot my last name. I was embarrassed for a while, so embarrassed that my face turned red and I did it.

Yes, it's been fifty years, and it's been fifty years since I left my hometown! Too many things are forgotten!

Fifty years! What is the concept of fifty years? How many fifty years can there be in life? However, as a small and useless scholar like me, I have not been able to set foot in my hometown for fifty years!

I haven't thought about it, but I have. It just seems that I can't find the right opportunity and time. What have you been up to these years? Looking back on the half-life of doing nothing, I suddenly felt a lot of guilt and helplessness!

Guilt is about your old hometown and old friends; Helpless, it is a kind of almost barren and dull life for myself. Perhaps, my guilt and helplessness are shared by many people around me. I think that's for sure.

2. Where are you now, your deskmate?

Xiaowen wrote here and couldn't help laughing secretly. The reason is that when I recall my childhood "playmates", in fact, the first thing that comes to mind are the names of two girls: Yang Sannier and Yang Ernier! Because it's a girl's name, I didn't say it fluently, for fear that others would find that "warm memory" in my heart.

Yang Sanni 'er and Yang 'er, like Yang Xiaosi, Yang, He and Mao Wu, were my playmates when I was a child, and also my classmates in primary school in my hometown. We run, play and go to school together. Young Ernie is a little older. I remember that she is one year older than me, and she may have always been a little "sensible", so she was a little stiff, unsmiling and didn't get along well. Yang Sanni and I are about the same age. Zhang Yuanyuan has a big apple face and two talking phoenix eyes. She is gentle and laughs first. When she smiles, two dimples will appear on her face. ...

Because our two families live across the wall, we play together the most and get together first when we go to school. What is even more rare is that during my three years of primary school in my hometown, we were both deskmates, got along well and often felt "intimate". School supplies such as pencils and erasers have never been divided between you and me ... so, in the past, after years of precipitation, she became my childhood. "

Starting from Xiaoxinzhuang, we went to the "Xinglong Primary School" we had read.

Several of my peers went to primary school there in those years. As we walked, we relished the experience of getting up early and studying hard when we were young. Immersed in the embarrassing, bitter and joyful memories of my youth, I drifted back to my naive and confused early years.

I remember Xinglong primary school at that time, five or six miles away from Xiaoxinzhuang. At that time, there were no roads between villages, only winding, potholed and thorny country roads. At that time, the countryside was very poor and there was no channel for money. The tuition fee for each semester is only a few dollars, and the family has to sell eggs to pay for it. My coarse clothes were worn out, so I used my father's worn-out old clothes for small clothes; I did, and so did my taller sister and brother. The cloth shoes on my feet are worn out, but I still can't bear to throw them away, but I still have to kick and insist on wearing the moon for forty; In warm seasons, I simply don't wear shoes. Whether it is sunny or cloudy, windy or rainy, I run barefoot all over the sky, and thick cocoons slowly grow on my feet.

Sometimes walking on the way to school, I was accidentally stabbed by sharp thorns and the edge of stones. Even if I spill blood, I don't care about the pain. I pulled out the thorns and stone edges, and continued on my way, for fear of being late for school, delaying class, being criticized by the teacher and reprimanded by my parents.

At that time, primary school time was very tight, and I had to study by myself in the morning, so I often got up early. Because there is no clock, we often have to listen to the cock crow to get up. Sometimes the rooster crows early, and we call each other before dawn and go on the road in a daze. As a result, we ran to school before dawn, and the door was still closed tightly!

Once, I got up very early, as if the weather was still a little gloomy. Five or six young students walked with me to a graveyard near Shishuwa. I don't know who was screaming and shaking his arm at the edge of the graveyard: Jack-o'-lantern! Ghosts! Several people followed his fingers and saw some "jack-o'-lanterns" flying in the cemetery. There seems to be a ghostly shadow around the grave, spinning around ... Everyone suddenly shook into a ball, and Yang Sanni, who was walking in front of me, ran back to my arms screaming. ...

In an instant, decades have passed. On the way to school that morning, our horror of "meeting a ghost" was still vivid; That morning, Sannie panicked, and the strange feeling of jumping into my arms still lingered ... Sannie, decades have passed, where are you now? Aren't you old enough to be a grandmother or a grandmother? How are you now? How's life? ……

At this point, I casually asked my peers around me: I remember when I was a child in Xiaoxinzhuang, there was a female classmate named Yang Sannier. Where is she now? How is your life? My colleagues looked at me strangely and introduced meaningfully: Yang Sannier grew up and got married in a foreign land. Now that her children and grandchildren are full, she has to go back several times a year to visit her family!

After listening to his answer, my heart seemed to wander for a long time, and then slowly fell down.

Teacher Tang, did you have a good time in heaven?

In the distance, I saw a five-star national flag fluttering in the wind in a courtyard wall. Xia Jiang introduced that it was Xinglong Primary School. When I came to the courtyard wall, I saw "Xinglong Primary School in Miaoxiang, Taishan, nanzhao county" hanging at the gate.

Walking into the campus, it is a two-story brick-concrete teaching building. As soon as we entered the hospital, Dean Yang, who got the news in advance, hurried out to make tea and pass cigarettes in the office and greeted us warmly. Talking about the whole process of my schooling here, President Yang suddenly said, Maybe we are classmates? So the two sides reported each other's date of birth and told each other the name of the teacher who taught at that time, and it was indeed a former classmate. If they are not in the same grade, they are also wrong.

With this kind of classmate relationship, the atmosphere is naturally relaxed.

I casually asked: it seems that the teaching conditions in this primary school are much better now than when we were at school!

President Yang smiled and shook his head, saying that the teaching conditions were better, but the school was getting more and more difficult.

I am busy asking what is going on?

President Yang said: Now young people in rural areas have gone out to work, leaving their children to the elderly. Old people can only take care of their children's lives, but they can't take care of their studies at all! If children are sensible, it is ok to study hard, but many children lack discipline, don't study hard, only play, and their grades are in a mess. Seeing that children can't become useful at home, simply don't let them go to school; There are also some families with good conditions. If the children's academic performance is ok, they will choose the best among the best, stay away from the near, and let their children go to school in towns or counties with better conditions. Coupled with the ongoing construction of small towns in rural areas, the number of students in rural primary schools will become less and less.

The education department tried several times to cut down this primary school and merge it into a larger central primary school. But now that they have merged, what should we do if the families with financial difficulties and families with children in these villages are taken care of by the elderly? They have no conditions to go to school far away! So, after some fighting, things dragged down like this. No one can say what to do next!

There was a dull moment when everyone was silent for a while.

I had nothing to say, so I pretended to suddenly remember and asked President Yang: Where does Mr. Tang, who taught us here in those days, live now? How are you? She should have retired a long time ago, right?

President Yang looked at me and bowed his head. After a long pause, he said to me: Mr. Tang retired long ago and should be over eighty this year. She has always been in good health. After retirement, she has been living in Yunyang town with her daughter, and her life is very leisurely. We always go to see her on holidays. I didn't expect to have a serious illness this spring, but I can't afford it. I died three months ago. ...

Hearing the news is no less than suddenly hearing a thunderbolt. My mind suddenly went blank and I couldn't speak for a while. Although I understand that it is a natural law for people to die of old age and illness, the sadness brought to my heart by the death of Teacher Tang is beyond others' understanding. The emotional waves rolled up in my heart by the death of Teacher Tang are unimaginable to others.

Teacher Tang, as for me, my identity is not only a teacher, but a combination of teacher and mother. I have been introverted since I was a child, and I don't like to talk, but I study very hard and my lessons are always among the best in my class. Who doesn't like students with good grades to be teachers? So Mr. Tang, who is also the head teacher of Chinese class, takes good care of me. She not only protects me when I am bullied by other children, but also cares about me everywhere in my life.

In the cold winter, she used to hold my hand and warm my frozen hand; In hot summer, she called me into her living room and office many times to wipe my sweat and wash my face; On rainy days, she always escorted me and several students from Xiaoxinzhuang, climbed two hills and crossed four rivers, and only waved goodbye to us when it was not far from Xiaoxinzhuang. Sometimes it rains or snows too hard, she simply won't let me go home, let me go to her house for dinner, and let my classmates send messages to my house in case my parents miss me. ...

I remember a cold day, it was raining and snowing, and the cold wind roared. After school at noon, Mr. Tang wouldn't let me go home and let me go to her house for dinner. I ate noodles, rice, steamed stuffed buns and pancakes at Mr. Tang's house, and I didn't leave a particularly deep impression. Only this time I ate at her house, I will never forget it: because this time I ate a sugar bag!

This is the first time in my life that I have eaten sugar packets. I think it's sweet. It really soaked my heart and lungs, and my whole body was sweet! Nowadays, with the improvement of living standards, people are no longer rare for sugar packets, and even some are tired of eating them, so they don't want to bother to wrap them. However, in that era of "poor materialism", whoever is lucky enough to eat a sugar bag is an incredible luxury! It was the experience of eating sugar packets that kept me in mind forever, and it also kept the warm and cordial image of Teacher Tang's mother in my mind forever. ...

Unfortunately, I was too young at that time. I was only eight or nine years old when I left Nanzhao and moved to Tongbai! At that time, I was ignorant and ungrateful. When I work as an adult, I certainly remember Mr. Tang's kindness in my mind, but I'm in the Jianghu and running around, but I can't find time to visit Mr. Tang. He is as kind and warm as my mother! This time, I finally got a chance to come back, but Mr. Tang, you left quietly. ...

Teacher Tang! Can you forgive this ungrateful student? Can you accept the confession of this student whom you value most, love most and care most? I can't make up for my past mistakes now I can only silently bless you in my heart: I wish you a healthy and happy world in heaven forever!

4. Bless my hometown

As the sun sets, the fog gradually rises. It's time to say goodbye to my hometown. I miss you very much. My family is still there.

I turned around step by step, waved reluctantly and said goodbye to my friends and villagers.

With this revisit, I felt anxious when I came, just like being scalded by an iron. My guilty heart, which was originally empty and hanging, was also settled and comforted in some real way. This trip to my hometown, like a blowing dust, swept away the thick dust accumulated in my heart for many years, which made me much lighter and brighter.

Through the window, take another look at the mountains and rivers in my hometown! Take another look at the village in the shade between the blue sky and the clear water. This is the beginning of my life. No matter where my life kite flies, she is the invisible silk thread that binds me. This is the habitat of my soul. No matter where Noah's Ark drifts in my heart, she is an unopened Pandora's Box. ...

As the car drifted away, everything in my hometown became blurred in my sight. Just close your eyes and let the video images of your hometown play in sequence in your mind ... The pictures of mountains and rivers automatically flash back, and the scenes of villagers' eager conversation keep reappearing ... Suddenly, I just got excited and relaxed, and suddenly became depressed.

The reason why my mood has changed so much is that I have seen a set of clear pictures in my mind. Maybe I just ignored it because I love my hometown too much: the village is deserted, and the old and young people are more common; For decades, the living conditions of farmers have been improved to some extent. There are many bungalows and small buildings in the village, but there are still some farmers living in the original small tile house, supported by wooden rafters, covered with millet foil, and a box full of chemical fertilizers, grain and farm tools; Many open spaces on the bank of the reservoir and around the village, except some trees, are almost bare vines, and few crops or cash crops are planted. As the saying goes, draft depends on water, relying on mountains to eat mountains. Why didn't you think of some way to write something on the words "water" and "mountain"?

There is also the dilemma of rural education that President Yang said. With fewer and fewer students, the school is facing a merger. How to solve their education problems? Then there is the ongoing construction of rural small towns. What should these villagers who are still relatively poor do with their original homes and houses? They used to work at sunrise, but can the habit of resting at sunset be changed in time?

……

Indulge in the thick and chaotic worries and gradually feel sleepy. In the hazy sleep without sleep, I suddenly saw the waves, and the hometown of green mountains and green waters magically became a legendary mirage, a mythical Penglai Xiange, and a paradise on earth in reality! This is also a wanderer who has been away from home for many years and a good blessing to his hometown.