The fate of your prose

When you were a child, you still had an equally distant future dream in your heart-maybe now; For this dream, you try to get the red flag bearer of the month. You are still young, even after she gave you a tender confession letter, you tore it up resolutely and ran to her and said hypocritically: We should all study hard and realize our dreams.

After a distant childhood, it is still a distant junior high school-an era of growing goodwill. However, it is not as vague as it was in primary school. At this time, your dream has gradually materialized, more or less related to your interests; For example, a calligrapher, so you take a copybook to study and start writing, and begin to pay attention to the exquisiteness on the surface and the teacher's sentence: you are a plastic talent; For example, you dream of becoming a writer. This time, you read all kinds of composition books in the school library, learned to write in a formal composition format, and finally found that they can't express your fledgling rebellion ... but she doesn't let people hand you shy love letters like before. And you, because of your vanity, say to everyone: that's the girl who used to like me; After that, pretend you don't want to tell me about it. However, there is still a girl who is very kind to you. In this way, with this vanity, you entered the provincial model high school-in those days, your junior high school only admitted three people.

It's no longer a distant high school. You run from the countryside to the city to go to school, just like a turtle. With the dazzling aura of an emperor in junior high school, I thought I could find the admiration of thousands of people there. Sorry, the world is becoming more and more spacious in your eyes. You are a powerful opponent on the way forward. At this point, dreaming of you seems hazy again. You know you are broke here, but you are supreme in the hearts of your former playmates. One year, you sent the first and only love letter in your life so far. You gave it to the girl in junior high school-the girl in primary school hasn't spoken for several years, and running around the world is still unknown. That girl goes to school in the same city as you in junior high school. What she gave you was your unique skill in primary school: "In order to realize our dreams, we should all study hard". Looking back suddenly, two years of high school have passed in a blink of an eye, and you have not passed the passing line in English and mathematics. What that girl reminds you is that the dream has gradually evolved into a dream, and now the idea is: you can go to college. So, you work as hard as you can, and it seems that you really work as hard as "for your dreams". Have a solid foundation. After only one month, your English and math are more than 30 points higher than the passing line.

During that time, you had some unforgettable feelings-about life, about love, about family, about sacrifice, about responsibility-but those were just unspeakable feelings. In this way, you were admitted to a 985 engineering school in the college entrance examination.

Hesitated at that moment.

Your life hesitated at that moment.

You walked into a bigger city, a bigger school and a bigger environment with your flawless terrapin temperament. This year, you even turned off the computer through the power off button on the host computer. You've never even used a mobile phone, and you even want to have a mobile phone, so that you can lie in the quilt and send her a text message, and then laugh silly or wait for a reply until you close your eyes tired. ...

Your dream of getting into a good university in the senior high school entrance examination has come true. Life seems complete-you never think about what you can do after going to college. Calligrapher? A writer? But I don't know if you can regain these hobbies after putting the least energy into the study of professional courses. In the morning, the sparrow woke up your dream, woke up suddenly, finished washing, made a cup of inferior jasmine tea bought from Liyuan supermarket, and regained the three-dimensional sense of brushwork on the desk. At that time, you didn't buy a computer, and when your roommate was asleep at night, you slammed the keyboard on your roommate's computer, got his roommate's consent, and built a folder called "XXX's Works" in his computer. You even call it a work!

For the next year, you live such an ordinary life.

Finally, one day, you found a book in the vast library called Destiny Writing. At that time, I surrendered to Shi Tiesheng's wording, "fatalism." Look, this is an adjective. It seems that his writing life is an arrangement, but it is not passively accepted. He seems to accept it gladly, but there is no helplessness like "writing fate". However, fate is fate, no matter how optimistic it is.

It took you a month to read the book carefully, but you still didn't finish it. Read and read some sentences. As it happens, this year, you earned the first bucket of gold in your life-being a tutor. You sincerely thank the buddy who introduced this tutor, so you cherish it. With this tutor, you will be less reluctant to call home. The school is in Tangjiawan and the tutor is in the city. So, on Saturday and Sunday morning, you set out from the dormitory and went to the No.7 bus stop of Tsinghua Science Park as scheduled. The bus lingered on the lovers' road, looking at the sea, and Xu Fei's Song Guangming echoed in his ears. You suddenly feel bright at the moment, and it's not bad to freeze the time at this moment.

However, the typhoon raged later. Strangely, you like typhoons very much-not typhoons. Maybe what I like is just a feeling, which seems to have nothing to do with the objective body that produces this feeling. Twice, twice in your life, when a typhoon strikes, you come back from the city. After waiting for the No.7 bus for a long time, the young trees on the road were uprooted, and the aggressive typhoon didn't push you. You know, a typhoon is still your own typhoon. Once upon a time, there was a girl named Taifeng. Does your behavior have anything to do with this? I don't know

The no.7 bus has finally arrived. After getting on the bus, you were soaked to the skin. After arriving at Tsinghua Science Park, many people got off the bus and headed for their destination in such bad weather. You put all the peace, together with your dreams, in gloomy days, bleak winds and rushing rain. You never tire of coming back to your dormitory from Tsinghua Science Park.

On this day, you have almost finished writing your destiny. On this day, the sun is shining and the students don't have much homework. Please come back early. Looking at the ebb and flow of the sea level in the distance, you say, take a walk. So, I walked bored all the way, and the sea was dotted with people. I have worshipped the fisherman's daughter and Xiaxia. On such a beautiful day, you want to cry for the first time inexplicably, but you can't let others know. Once someone asks why, you can't talk about it.

Soon after that, you can't help asking yourself, "What am I living for?"

You're stunned. Such an abrupt question suddenly pops up in your mind. How long should it be lurking in your mind? So, you want to get your dream back. Looking around, there is no answer.

In such a meaningless search, you met her invitation to go to Xiamen with her; On the night of greeting farewell, before entering the subway, you instantly took her hand and held it in your arms for half a minute, saying: Come to Beijing to find me; It's graduation season ...

Life is definitely an arrangement, a fatalistic arrangement. "Destiny" sometimes reveals an indescribable suddenness, drama and samsara.

You "go to town" with new dreams. In Xiao Mo's words, you want to go to town-to Beijing. You don't often miss the past, but once you miss it, it's hopeless. So you chose to devote yourself to the third city, Zhuhai and Guangzhou. This is the third city. Here, you have experienced too many qualitative changes, from south to north, which is change. When you find out, or from other people's mouths, that you are not who you used to be, you will want to explore the reasons behind this. The conclusion can only be summarized by words such as "node" and "catalyst". Catalyst is the last thing you want to dig. They're hiding deep. The reason why they are deep is not their main behavior, but that you hide them deeply. You certainly don't want you to cut them open again.

Admittedly, you have to thank them. Because of them, your thoughts are running around anxiously. Even, it will go to the two extremes of the line.

Then, when you put down your rhetoric-it seems that your dream has no specific outline, or your dream has become a naked thought, you don't put down the pressure of your rhetoric because you are not responsible for it. You said that you are a carefree person. You don't care about the place where you work and live, but only care about the industry you are engaged in, the company you are in, and whether the position you hold has any development prospects for you. As a result, people shouted all over their heads that they wanted to go to state-owned enterprises, so you targeted big foreign companies as if you were going to foreign companies all your life.

Moreover, all efforts are nothing more than English, internship and resume.

September, if in Zhuhai, is the day when bauhinia blooms. Your heart thumped: "What kind of life do I want?" You're thinking, eventually, you will be disarmed at home. You suddenly don't want the house to be just a sharp weapon in your mouth, and it hurts your heart from nine to five.

Vulgar, you become vulgar. This is the result of all your metamorphosis. You limped in the plan, so when you walked upright at once, you had dressed yourself as an ordinary citizen. Someone mentioned dreams, you said: dreams? It's all a dream, even I dare not dream.

Having said that, you are still looking forward to the day when you walk in the inaccessible scenery with your bag on your back and a telephoto SLR camera, branding yourself and these scenery in your memory and camera. So, you are really afraid. What you are afraid of is a fatalistic you.

October is the day when bauhinia blooms. When you came home, you met her again, just as fate had planned. You interweave a kind of artistic conception of "nature playing tricks on people" and finally say goodbye without interest.

In Beijing, someone said to you in Q: Go back and work hard, get a house quickly and find a good girl to marry, and life will be quite good. You lost your temper and said, why are you telling me this? You also casually said: the work will definitely be done well, the house will not be a problem, and getting married and having children will be later! She went on to say: once you settle down, everything will be quick.

Next you talk to yourself. You say: man, having a house is the most important thing; I will forget the past in the future, which is my greatest fear; Fall into a life, like a whirlpool; I hesitated before because I felt unwilling when I came out I always feel as if I have fallen into a stream of life, and I have an inexplicable sense of destiny. ...

Twenty minutes passed and she didn't move. You sent a sentence: "What is your situation now?" She said, "I'm fine, I'm wasting my time ..." So you flew into a rage again. You scolded her for not being active, and you scolded her a lot. She said, well, I just cried and you said me again. Life is so wonderful!

You made a phone call and started cursing before she spoke. After scolding, I added, "I said this for your own good, didn't I?" Then try your best to comfort her until you hear her laugh. Put the phone down, you are in tears, you call your buddy, he asks why she is crying, you say you don't know, he asks why you are crying, and you say you don't know.

Finally, you still have to be the "destiny of you" ...