Classic short sentences of funny quotations

1, nuwa shoots every day.

2, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for your family, thank you for your ancestors for 18 generations!

3, I am too pure, I am pure and shameless!

4. In the first 20 years, we ate, slept, played and enjoyed life; For the next 40 years, I was struggling to support my family; And in the recent 10 years, I squatted at the door every day and greeted passers-by …

My newly acquired gf and I decided to break up with me after a week of dating, just because I haven't read Octavio Paz's books and Borges' poems.

6. When I laugh, my smile is full of bohemian temperament like a poet, but behind this bohemian, there are delicate and warm feelings. When I am silent, I look up like a pure and graceful girl in the choir and a noble with a deep and elegant head. Yes, I am such a man who perfectly combines various seemingly irreconcilable qualities.

7. Since ancient times, there have been no charming mothers on the Internet. There are several pairs of mandarin ducks and perverted pheasants.

8, teacher, you wait, the old woman is going to let the Buddha give her marriage!

9. Don't waste new tears for old sadness!

10, I don't like sleeping with only one woman many times, but I like sleeping with many women only once.

1 1. When I left the subway station this morning, the escalator broke down. I was stuck up there for over an hour, so I was late.

12, in order to build a harmonious society, wife, let's do it again.

13, don't hang yourself on a tree, try to die on several trees several times ...-If you die, you will die completely!

14, I'd rather you hold another woman and miss me than you hold me and miss another woman.

15, the difference between life and existence is heaven and earth. How many people are alive and how many people are alive? Are you alive or alive?

16, a man who was fined for illegal parking will have a quarrel with the police, and a woman will stop fighting; If a woman is fined for parking illegally, she will have an argument with the man around her, and the police will persuade her.

17, a man gives a woman a bra to show that he wants to establish a lover relationship; A woman gives a man underwear, which means there is a lover relationship.

18, the wind blows the crotch hair flying …

19, when is the time to hug each other, Yang is watching.

20, in the shower, please don't disturb or peek, please buy a ticket, 40 for individuals and 20 for groups!

2 1, falling in love is a feeling. When this feeling is gone, I am still trying to force myself. This is called responsibility! Breaking up is courage! When this courage is gone, I am still encouraging myself. This is called tragic!

22, live well, because we will die for a long time!

I was raped by Sichuan University. The only thing I can do now is to try to put my posture in the right position!

24. Some people say that if you have a child, you won't have dysmenorrhea. Have one!

25. The female student who just returned from an internship in a Japanese company said with emotion: "No matter how high-end meetings are, no matter how high-end people attend, those people have a polite meeting with you on the stage, but there are always people touching your thighs under the stage!"

26. It is forbidden to urinate here, and the tools will be confiscated.

27. I made a mistake at the first stroke and had to scribble all the way.

28, the buddy's greatest wish is: beauty does not wear clothes!

29, you are the best example of abortion failure!

30. College is the best time for female students' breast development.

3 1, hands are willing to be rough for women.

32. Fill her emptiness with your surplus!

33. I will be good friends with anyone who says I am white, thin and beautiful.

34, the seminal vesicle is not empty, swear not to be a ghost!

35. I skipped classes too much. One day I wanted to go to class and met a professor. The professor said in surprise, I haven't seen you for so long, and I have grown so big.

36. More and more young people are getting tattoos. Think about the summer after forty or fifty years. Tattooed elderly men and women ...

37, some people are born in the car, others are pregnant in the subway, Beijing is really a vibrant city …