The reason why men are hot and cold to you, why are men always hot and cold?

I saw a hot search in Weibo today: What does it mean for boys to be hot and cold?

Some people say that it is hot because he is bored and lonely, and he wants to find someone to accompany him. It is cold because he has something to do or someone to chat with him.

Therefore, girls should never fantasize about what boys think of themselves.

In the face of boys' hot and cold, many girls can't help but guess:

Does he like me or not?

Did he use me as a spare tire or not?

But in fact, no matter how you guess, his sincerity will not be different because of your guess.

In fact, these four situations are roughly behind most men who are hot and cold.

Take you as a spare tire

I read a paragraph about "spare tire" before. Although it is too absolute, I have to admit that many people are in this situation.

If a person suddenly starts to contact you, don't be surprised, he wants to develop you into a spare tire;

If this person suddenly stops contacting you, don't be surprised, you are just a spare tire;

If he starts to contact you again, don't be surprised. Other spare tires are not as interesting as you.

So in your opinion, he has been hot and cold, at arm's length.

Some time ago, a friend came to talk to me about her recent emotional confusion:

Actually, I had a good talk with him. I'm not an active person, so he came to me on his own initiative in most cases. It's just that the frequency will not be much. Occasionally, I look for it every day, and occasionally I may disappear every three to five days, or even disappear for more than a week. This feeling of hot and cold is too uncomfortable.

Sometimes I really want to ask him why he always disappears for so long and suddenly starts to contact me, as if nothing had happened. I also suspect that he just takes me as a companion, but he will give me a little hope in the chat and think that he likes me.

He is a man with many friends, but he told me that there are not many people to chat with. Maybe I am special. Should I confess?

I told her: Come on, he just used you as a spare tire.

The authorities are confused, and the bystanders are clear. She is always caught up in it because of her occasional concern, and she believes from the bottom of her heart that this person must have a good impression on me.

But the onlookers can see clearly that if a person really likes you and wants to find opportunities to chat with you every day, how can he often disappear?

The most important thing is that someone who has you in his heart may break off contact with you because of some things, but he will definitely give you an explanation when he returns, instead of continuing his performance.

You may be addicted to his ambiguous words, but if you don't talk like this, he will care about your thoughtfulness and be willing to be a spare tire.

A way and means to pick up girls

People often say that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. People on two different planets have different ideas.

When it comes to chasing people, I think the most effective means is to be hot and cold.

One second is warm to you, and the next is cold to you, so the unpredictable feeling will make people full of motivation to discover.

If you think it's all about looks, you're wrong. Tempting people is a probabilistic event, but it must also be a technical activity.

I once taught a boy to catch up with the girl he has long admired in this way:

At the beginning, he was very diligent and insisted on chatting with that girl every day. Of course, it is not limited to boring "good morning and good night". He often sends her some milk tea and snacks.

When he began to gradually reduce the frequency of looking for her, he began to find that girls occasionally took the initiative to chat with him.

Of course, we must grasp a degree in this process. The so-called hot and cold does not mean two extremes, otherwise it will only be self-defeating.

Of course, this is only a small skill to promote emotional development, but it is not the decisive factor of a love.

Action and confession, of course, are still good for boys.

After falling in love, he also asked girls why they chose themselves. Her answer is: at first, I thought you were as special as others, but after getting used to you, I seemed to think you were far away from me, so I wanted to make sure.

So some boys are hot and cold, just trying to occupy a place in your heart and test your mind.

If he finds that you will be at a loss after leaving him, he can determine the other person's mind.

Whether boys or girls want to attract a person successfully, they must have such a driving force. Curiosity and uncertainty after hot and cold is a kind of motivation for the other person to approach you.

But skill is just skill, it will be a help point, but it will never be a decision.

Cold and hot is nothing more than cold violence.

In fact, when it comes to cold violence, many people would rather keep silent than quarrel.

It's not all like this.

There is a kind of cold violence, that is, he is always cold and hot to you, and he is at arm's length, giving you a feeling that seems to be around you but does not belong to you, making you guess and think, and finally being mentally divided and collapsed.

This is also a kind of cold violence, forcing you to leave voluntarily in the most tangled way.

Some fans have asked me a similar question before:

I've been with my boyfriend for two years, which is a long-distance relationship. In fact, at first, I thought long-distance relationships were unreliable. Two people can break up when they are together every day, let alone meet several times. But when it comes to feelings, I always knew it was a sea of fire and I had to jump.

The situation is very abnormal now. If he is tired of this relationship, he will definitely show indifference. But his indifference is intermittent, and sometimes I think he may have faded and want to break up. But whenever I want to summon up the courage to ask him, he still cares about me.

It is said that love is most afraid of mutual suspicion, but this feeling of cold and hot is really hard to bear.

In my opinion, girls must believe one thing. A man who really cares about you will tell you the reason even if he ignores you because of other things.

His sudden coldness is because he is tired of this relationship and unwilling to spend so much time and energy to maintain it, while his sudden enthusiasm is only because he needs a "girlfriend" to fill his heart occasionally.

And who this "girlfriend" belongs to is actually not so important.

He may just need someone to accompany him, not you.

He doesn't want to be an ungrateful person who broke up voluntarily, so he can only break your persistence through such cold violence.

I can understand a person's transition from enthusiasm to indifference, because enthusiasm always fades;

But I can't accept a person's alternation of cold and hot, because feelings never need any routines and falsehood.

A lot of people do. After falling in love with someone, it seems that you have lost yourself.

Today, you may feel that the weather has cleared up because of each other's concern; Tomorrow, you may fall to the bottom because of each other's indifference.

Love shouldn't be like this. Secret love or love should make two people become better themselves in the process, rather than being so humble that all emotions are controlled by each other.

There is a saying that love is like a cough. You can't hide it, and neither can love.

Whether it is routine or means, as women, what we need to explore is not the real reason why men are hot and cold. All we have to do is be ourselves and keep calm.

Everyone doesn't depend on another person, and your mood can't fluctuate because of a few words from another person.

Your life is given by yourself, and all your joys and sorrows are also given by yourself. No matter what his indifference represents, you don't have to guess, you don't have to think, you don't like what you don't like, you don't like yourself, and you do well.

Love is a necessity in life, but it is not a necessity.

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