How to chat?

Hello friends, hello everyone, I'm Uncle Gua, a storyteller.

This week, I want to share with you two speaking skills in the book "Speak Well" to establish a relationship with strangers quickly and sincerely.

What do you talk about when you meet someone for the first time in your daily life?

Do you look at each other and keep silent? Or talk about the current weather, traffic conditions and news hotspots? Or do you ask about work, marriage and family status like the older generation?

Below, I will teach you two skills that you can use immediately after reading them to help you break through the situation of chatting with strangers.

The first trick is to start a conversation with strangers by talking about their names.

Let's read a correct example in the book first:

The whole dialogue has questions and answers, giving people a sense of politeness and comfort.

Suppose we ask, "What's your name?" How will others feel? Some people may think that the questioner is straightforward, but most people's first feeling is a blank face, and the second feeling is that the questioner is rude. So before we start asking each other's names, we should say hello politely, say our names and let them know who you are before we are willing to tell you who they are.

Then, why do we choose to chat with strangers by name instead of keeping silent, or talking about gas, traffic and current affairs?

Because chatting about names has two advantages: first, ask others' names, and others have something to answer; Secondly, China people's names have a great feature, that is, when parents name their children, they incorporate a lot of meanings, allusions and expectations in just two or three words. Chatting is easy for the other person to bring out the topic, starting with the name and finally becoming a chat about interest, personality and life. ......

It should be noted that when chatting with the other person's name, never say "this name is very common" or "I know a friend with this name". After all, everyone wants to be unique.

The second trick is to close the distance with strangers through gossip, not to put pressure on each other, and to throw the problem to the people present with a sharing attitude and self-disclosure.

Let's start with some correct examples in the book:

These correct examples have their own merits: in the first example, "like it or not" is an expression of attitude. When chatting, it will not cause pressure to the other party, and the other party will naturally share more information with us; The second example, starting from talking to yourself, first denies the self-state, but it is not a lie or a complaint, so that the other party does not feel pressure, and at the same time raises open-ended questions and naturally opens the topic; The third example, when chatting, try to throw the topic to the people present. People who want to answer questions will talk to you one by one, and those who don't want to answer questions will not be under pressure, and the scene will not be deserted and embarrassed.

These are my two speaking skills from "talking well" to chatting with strangers to break through the "embarrassing" situation. Have you learned?

The five most common speech scenes, namely communication, persuasion, negotiation, speech and debate, correspond to five different speech skills, and the author explains them to readers in detail in chapters. It not only gives how to explain the methodology well on what occasions, but also lists some easy-to-understand examples for everyone to understand and apply the methodology. Friends who want to improve their oral English may wish to read it carefully and give it a try!

I'm Uncle Gua. See you next week.