Little devil weather

Sometimes parents say that children just don't listen, don't hit the south wall and don't look back, which makes parents have a headache. If you think it's puberty, it's wrong. The baby already has this symptom.

Parents will find their children too difficult to take care of or too disobedient. In fact, for children, each stage of development has a corresponding sensitive period. Children in the sensitive period of childhood have an unusual ability to accept certain stimuli. A child's special sensitivity to something will last until this feeling demand is fully satisfied.

Parents may have a better understanding of children's language sensitive period and writing sensitive period, because children's external behavior changes in these stages will be more obvious and parents can understand them. But whether physically or psychologically, there is a sensitive period that is easily overlooked by everyone, and that is the sensitive period of children's paranoia.

Nini has been a gentle and lovely little princess since she was a child, but recently she has become a "female man" who often opposes her parents. Just like a few days ago, she was thirsty and wanted to drink water. When her mother poured water for her, she refused and insisted on pouring it herself. My mother is afraid of scalding her 4-year-old daughter and resolutely opposes it. Nini cried and made a scene.

Ma Bao was really angry and helpless when she watched her children rolling on the ground. It is clearly for her good, why did the child become so disobedient? Is the rebellious period ahead of schedule?

The same child: the baby suddenly changed from a good baby to a "little devil"

There are still many behaviors like Nini in real life, and parents have vomited-

Min Min: It's cold outside. I want my children to wear an extra coat. This is a very common thing. Who would have thought that children would violently resist and then go out? I haven't caught a cold yet, saying he still refuses to accept it!

Xiaomei: I have told my children many times before, don't take food to the dormitory, especially don't go to bed. Now I'm not saying it's okay. I said that children will definitely sit on the bed with rice bowls and watch tablets while eating, and rice grains are everywhere. Really speechless.

Hwa: My baby knew everything when he was three and a half years old. I told him that the dregs dropped during dinner would be picked up and put on the coffee table, and mom would clean it up. He used to do well, but recently he seems to be aiming at me on purpose. He always puts the residue in different places, sometimes under the sofa and sometimes in the toilet. How did a good baby become like this?

What is the baby's "paranoid sensitive period"?

If similar actions are repeated at one stage, the child is likely to have entered a "paranoid sensitive period" rather than a rebellious period.

Usually it starts at the age of two, and the peak of the outbreak is at the age of three or four. With the continuous enhancement of self-awareness, children's self-awareness and other people's awareness began to gradually divide, often disobeying their parents' suggestions and instructions, becoming very stubborn and sometimes even rebellious. This is what psychologists call a sensitive period of paranoia.

Children who enter the sensitive period of paranoia will have the following remarkable characteristics:

Language expression: if you like to say no, I will;

Parent-child relationship: I like to do things according to my own wishes. The most obvious performance is not cooperating with parents, or even deliberately opposing them.

Behavior pattern: trying to get rid of dependence on parents, unwilling to listen to parents' opinions, and not wanting to ask for anything, thinking that everything can be "cooked".

After not being recognized: feeling wronged and disappointed, usually in the form of crying to resist.

Children in the sensitive period of paranoia, because of their limited development of thinking ability, can not comprehensively analyze problems and make correct judgments, so their emotions rebound badly after being rejected, either arguing or crying.

In the face of children whose temperament has changed greatly, parents often get confused and fall into various misunderstandings when dealing with children during this period.

First, resolutely obey and do everything that children say "no". This is actually a doting on children, and parents may have done the same before, so they didn't notice when their children entered the sensitive period of paranoia, and they still met any requirements of their children as always.

The result of this practice is that children will become more and more self-centered, stubborn and inflexible. Even if the child has passed the sensitive period of paranoia, this deep-rooted stubbornness still exists and becomes harmful to the child.

Second, blindly crack down on this change in children, and even beat and scold children. When parents' rude parenting style meets the sensitive period of children's paranoia, "Mars hits the earth" is often staged in minutes.

The more children fight, the more dissatisfied they are, and the more persistent they are, and the parent-child relationship is seriously damaged. In the end, children will really become "fighting against their parents", and even if they see the facts clearly, they are not willing to look back.

Third, it is easy to draw a conclusion and label children as "willful disobedience". If parents know little about the sensitive period of their children's paranoia and are not aware of this change, it is easy to label their children at will in a rage.

Children feel that their behavior is not understood, and they will feel "broken cans and broken falls", and simply intensify their resistance to their parents, which violates the original intention of the paranoid sensitive period.

Is there an original intention in the sensitive period of paranoia? Of course there is! Every sensitive period of a child is accompanied by a mission. The sensitive period of paranoia comes from children's increasingly bursting self-awareness. Desensitization is good at this stage, and children are more likely to become independent, confident and strong when they grow up.

If parents always try their best to make him yield and suppress the blow, his resistance may be stronger, which may easily lead to the child's personality characteristics such as willfulness, entanglement and stubbornness.

The famous Italian educator Montessori said: "For adults, the mind of children is a mystery. We should try our best to explore the understandable reasons behind children. He won't do anything without some reason or motive. If an adult wants to find these answers, he must adopt a new attitude towards children and enhance his sense of responsibility for them. He must become a researcher, not a dull and numb manager or an autocratic judge. "

Parents are advised to do this during the sensitive period of children's paranoia.

1, understand children's emotions

Long live understanding, especially children who are sensitive to paranoia. Parents should learn to understand children's emotions, guide children to vent their bad emotions reasonably, and learn to express their emotions correctly. Learn to read children's current emotions through forms other than language, such as body language, eyes and the state of children's circle of friends, and then help and guide children according to the causes of their emotions.

2. Flexible handling of children's needs

The hot kettle is obviously very hot, but Nini still insists on pouring the water herself. It is meaningless for parents and children to preach. At this time, parents can empty the water in the pot, and then try to let the children touch it gently to understand how hot the water is, which is more effective. In the face of things that are not dangerous and do not involve principles, such as what color coat the child wants to wear to school, let him go.

Don't blame the children for the consequences of "persistence"

In the eyes of children, "sticking to one's own opinions" is often synonymous with stubbornness in adults. But even so, parents should "see through" and don't blame their children for their persistence. For example, "I told you, you can't handle it yourself." Instead, he said, "It's okay. Mom will help you." Helping at this time is much better than satirizing children.

In short, don't misjudge your child just because he is in a sensitive period of paranoia. Independent growth is definitely an advantage. Parents should not deprive their children of this right. Only more often, parents should first calm down and try their best to cooperate with their children's "performances" so that their children can get through this special period smoothly and finally gain a confident, opinionated and thoughtful child!

I am a candy mother, a senior nurse, and the mother of a 4-year-old baby. You can ask me any questions in the process of parenting. I hope my advice can help you solve your troubles and puzzles in the process of taking care of your baby.