Today is a good day to sing.

Click on the green label above to listen to the anchor Xia Meng reading the audio.

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Hello, I'm Ye Mei.

I wonder if you have heard of the word "Scud"?

It refers to people who have no stable full-time job and do odd jobs everywhere for a living.

They live freely, have no social security, and often just make money when they need it.

And more people know this word, which comes from a novel by Japanese woman writer nanae Aoyama-"One's Fine Weather".

Author: ten little charcoal

Zhishou, the protagonist in the author's works, is a "Feite" girl. At the age of 20, she has no goal in life, and always lives with an attitude of muddling along and drifting with the flow.

However, Aunt Yin, who is 7 1 year-old, is a lovely old lady who lives a steaming life.

In the days when he lived with silver, Zhishou was subtly influenced. After the fluctuation of work, lovelorn and other things, I finally became independent and found myself.

Many people say that reading this book is like writing about yourself.

At some stage in life, we have all experienced anxiety, confusion and anxiety.

We may all have wanted to live a decent life, but we are afraid of the "wind and frost" of society and are unwilling to take the first step.

But the author tells us that as long as we have the courage to start, life will get better and better.

Behind every adolescence, there is a restless soul.

20 years old is a very easy age to get confused, especially for those who grew up in divorced families and lacked love from childhood.

With a little rebellion in her bones, she told her mother directly that she didn't want to go to college and wanted to work alone in Tokyo to support herself. It seems to be a manifestation of self-reliance, but in fact she is escaping from reality.

In desperation, her mother had to arrange for her to live in Yinzi's house.

I moved to a new environment, but I lived a long life. Doing odd jobs every day is aimless. At present, the only goal is to save money, without any long-term planning.

Zhishou dated her boyfriend Yang Ping for two and a half years, but never went out on a date and did not give each other gifts on their birthdays.

Even if we meet, we are almost indoors, doing our own thing, and there is nothing to talk about. Their existence is like air.

Therefore, Zhishou thinks that the two people will be separated sooner or later, and even the word "breakup" is too lazy to say, so let it be.

If you live a dull life for too long, people will become numb, so they will lose their desire to treat their feelings.

However, before they broke up naturally, Yang Ping was found to be unfaithful to another girl.

Zhishou didn't cry or feel sad, but turned away with a little loss.

Life is really like boiled water, just like there is a saying:

Unlike Zhishou, 7 1 year-old silver can turn life into a poem.

Silver has no wife, only two cats. Every day, she tidies up her hut simply, neatly and enthusiastically.

She often embroiders during the day, knits sweaters at night, and shows her favorite rabbit patterns on Zhishou's slippers.

Every Thursday, she puts on beautiful clothes and combs her beautiful hair, goes to a social dance class in the civic club, and even talks about a love affair with Grandpa Fang Jie, whom she met from the dance class.

Sometimes, even if she doesn't go anywhere for a day, she will put on beautiful makeup just to please herself.

No matter how to treat life or feelings, Yin Zi is free and easy, and she can let go.

In her eyes, life is like this, simple and beautiful, with joy every day.

This is best described in a poem by samuel ullmann:

In contrast, Zhi Shou is more like an "old man". She doesn't take the initiative to communicate with others and manages her own life. She hates her mediocrity, but she refuses to take action.

The state of knowing longevity is precisely the epitome of many contemporary young people: anxiety, escape and no pursuit. Obviously, it is an era that can be "desperately tossed", but it is mediocre and leads a dull life without a trace of vitality.

They often put themselves in a safe corner and protect them well, just like "living in a condom". If others can't get in, they can't get out.

However, the longer a person stays in the comfort zone, the less courage he has to jump out, which will only make him more and more anxious.

Just like the classic lines in The Shawshank Redemption:

There is a saying: "life can be dull, but people can't be mediocre."

Passive waiting is just giving your life to fate, far less than taking the initiative to fight for reality.

When summer came, Zhishou found a new odd job-selling things in a small shop in Sasakawa Station. Because of this job, she met her second boyfriend Fujita.

Different from the last love, Zhishou Club often makes an appointment with Fujita after work, takes Fujita to eat at Yinzi's house, wears lovers' shoes with him and goes out to play with him. ...

Life seems less boring. Perhaps it is love that makes him look forward to life more, and Zhishou feels that the whole person seems to have got rid of the previous decadent state.

However, if you change your job and start a new relationship, will life really be different?

What Zhishou doesn't know is that change should start from himself, rather than acting as a "regulator" of life with the help of external things.

Influenced by her family background, Zhishou has always been a sensitive and insecure girl.

She doesn't like to communicate with people, but she always likes to secretly hide other people's small things and put them in her own shoe box. When she is bored, she will take it out, such as silver Russian dolls, Fujita's cigarettes, and Grandpa Fang Jie's Ren Dan. ...

It's a unique way for her to satisfy herself, because only these little things are under her control, so she doesn't have to worry about losing them, and it can also bring her a sense of security.

When in love, she pinned her sense of security on Fujita.

As everyone knows, taking love as a link to maintain inner security is an illusory feeling after all.

Not long after, a new female assistant, Shizui, came to Sasakawa Station. She is sweet and lovely, and her appearance completely broke the quiet life before Zhishou.

Itsuki and Fujita are in the same position, and they often get close, talking and laughing, which makes Zhishou often feel jealous. I feel uneasy every time I see them chatting.

She has been staring at them carefully for fear that Fujita will be taken away by the silk well.

I don't know why, the more cautious she is, the more alienated she is from Fujita. Even with Fujita, she feels very strange.

There is something wrong with love. The first reaction to know longevity is not to face it and solve it, but to immerse yourself in your own "insecure" emotions, pessimistic and powerless, and constantly worry about this relationship, but it has no effect.

Sure enough, this relationship went away, and Fujita offered to break up, even the reasons were not clear.

For a time, Zhishou's life seems to have returned to the original point.

She once doubted herself: "I don't think I will ever live a normal life." What you get is thrown away or thrown away, and what you want to throw away is always unclean. My life is made up of these. "

Vulnerable and insecure people always place their hopes on others. Once that person leaves, he can't bear the pain of losing.

And this is not a wise approach after all. I can only give myself a sense of security. The person who can control his own life will always be himself.

Someone once said: "To overcome the anxiety and depression of life, we must first learn to be our own master."

Only by trying to change yourself can we have a brand-new life.

Someone said, "Many times, as long as you take the first step bravely, you will win."

From spring and summer to autumn and winter, before you know it, Zhi Shou and Yin have been living together for a year. After changing jobs sporadically, the idea of knowing hands has gradually changed.

She once said, "Sometimes I especially envy the people sitting in the car and where they go to do things by car. But I only have Sasakawa Station to go. "

In fact, her heart is also eager to have a full life. She envied silver more than once, imagining how wonderful life would be if she could make up and buy chocolate on Valentine's Day like silver.

It's just that she is too afraid of loneliness to break through herself.

Just then, an opportunity came.

On the first day of work, Zhishou's boss told her that she had the opportunity to become a full-time employee and could live in the staff dormitory.

Zhishou thinks that if you always rely on silver, you will never be independent.

Finally, after struggling for a long time, she made a decision: move out of the silver house and live her own life.

Before leaving, she asked Yin, "The outside world is really cruel! People like me will soon fall, right? "

Silver tells the truth in one sentence: "There are both inside and outside the world, and there is only one world."

Yes, there is only one world. The so-called distinction between inside and outside is actually the shackles we put on ourselves.

Facing life, I want to break through the cage, but I'm afraid I'll run into a wall everywhere, so I'm always hesitant and in a dilemma like standing at a crossroads.

But nanae Aoyama told us: "As long as you are willing to take the first step, there will be a way out." .

After independence, Zhishou gradually adapted to a person's life. Occasionally, she will watch movies with her neighbors and girls and have dinner with her colleagues. Although she was lonely at night, she spent every day seriously.

As written in the book:

Learning to grow is the only way for everyone.

Psychologist Karen Horney said: "If a person wants to really grow up, he must understand himself and accept it frankly, and at the same time, he must pursue something."

Independent life may be lonely, difficult and even frustrating, but it will gradually mature only after experience. Find the direction of life through self-discipline and stop being aimless and worried all day.

Just like a sentence in Natsume's friend's account:

"It must be admitted that most of life belongs to loneliness, and striving to grow up is the best game that can be played in loneliness."

Some things can only be done by one person; Some roads can only be taken by yourself.

Reply to "life", break yourself and change your life.

Background music | "The closer you get,