Cold joke

1, the apple seller shouted: fresh apples, imported goods. I bought it cheaply.

As soon as passers-by hear about imported goods, they buy them by the pound.

Someone tasted it and said, is this an ordinary apple? Is it imported?

Apple seller: with your mouth open, isn't it' imported'?

2. A passerby stopped a taxi and asked the driver, driver, how long does it take from here to the airport? Driver: It will take a long time. Passerby: How long will it take at least? Driver: At least (riding) longer. . . .

How did your husband react when you told him you were pregnant?

His face was white, foaming at the mouth, and he had a knife in his hand.

God, he doesn't want children?

No, he is shaving.

At the ticket window of the railway station, a classmate bought two station tickets and asked the conductor: Are these two tickets together?

The conductor thought for a moment and replied, If you want to stand together, you can stay together, but if you don't want to stand together, you can't stay together. ...

Daming's wife is going to give birth, and Daming is waiting anxiously outside the delivery room. Suddenly Daming heard a cry. When the nurse came out with his child in her arms, Daming hurriedly asked if it was a man or a woman. The nurse said, guess. A man. Wrong. Woman? You are so clever that you can guess with two strokes.

6. Well-known writers want to visit bookstores, and the boss quickly withdrew all the books and replaced them with writers' books. The writer was very happy when he arrived. Q: Does your bookstore only sell my books?

Bookstore owner: Of course not. Other books sell well. They are all sold out.

7. A Scotsman went to London and wanted to visit an old friend by the way, but he forgot his address, so he sent a telegram to my father: Do you know Thomas' address? Tell me quickly!

On the same day, he received an urgent call back: I know.

8. A bird keeper teaches a parrot to speak. Every morning, he must teach it to say: Good morning! After several months, the parrot still didn't speak. One day, the man was in a bad mood and didn't say hello. He just heard the parrot shout, your boy is awesome today, and he didn't even ask if he was good or not!