The original novel "Night Walk"

In the last few years of Xuanzong's life, his journey was not peaceful. Everyone who went out in those days was armed. Even so, it is inevitable to be afraid to see dead people lying on the roadside feeding crows. Most people have no important events and no one goes out, so the road is empty. One day, a scholar rode a good horse and a chariot on the road in Guanzhong. It was summer, and I looked at the horses around me. There are no pedestrians on the road, and there are no pedestrians on the road. There are no farmers in the field, only the air on the horizon in the distance rolls like a colorless flame. The wheels creaked as if they had run over my head. The scholar bumped into his horse and felt hot and sweaty and groggy. Traveling is really boring. I wish I had someone to chat with. Scholars don't want to talk to drivers because they are rude, and they don't want to talk to women in cars because they are stupid. Therefore, he is looking forward to meeting a pedestrian, even a tourist's doctor or a tinker. But from morning to afternoon, no one met. I didn't meet a monk until the sun went down and the weather turned cold.

Monks rode mules and escorted a caravan. Women's laughter came from the car, and the scooter was full of boxes. Although the scholar expects a conversation partner, he doesn't like it. First, the monk is so shameless that he walks with a woman. Second, the monk is so fat that even the back of his head is quivering fat. Because monks don't leave hair, this is very clear. Isn't it bad luck to wait for such a person all day? When the other party calls the name, the scholar will disdainfully open his mouth and deliberately embarrass the monk:

"Master, ten years of war, not only the central plains broken, the heart is not ancient. I heard that some nuns live with adopted men and some monks live with women. I gave birth to a group of little dolls, making Buddhism clean and covered in diapers. It's really indecent! "

Although the monk is fat, he doesn't breathe at all. He speaks confidently, and his voice is like a donkey's bark: "Xianggong is right! What is a quiet Buddhist temple in the present Buddhist temple? Young monks stared at the women. I want to travel, but my family is not at ease when I put it in the temple, so I have to take my peers. The world is really a mess! "

The scholar thought to himself, this monk is shameless! I don't want him to go with me. At this time, the sun has set and there is a town ahead. The scholar asked, "Do you want to stay? There is a big inn here, just for accommodation! "

"According to" xianggong ",we will stay."

"Master, let's take another trip to cool off at night."

"Then, according to" xianggong ",let's take another trip!"

"Master to stay, we will do it. If the master wants to leave, we will stay. "

""xianggong ",just want to talk, how to leave? Xianggong wants to stay, we also stay, Xianggong wants to do it, and we can do it! "

The scholar is so angry and funny that I really want to scold him. But I didn't scold, I just thought: if the monk wants to go with him, so should he. The horses and chariots crossed the market and walked up the mountain road. The sun went down, and a full moon rose. It was big, round and yellow, which was ridiculous. The scenery under the moon is also ridiculous. A dead tree on the hillside seems to be cut with black paper. The twinkling clouds in the western sky look like a dead fish with its stomach turned over. The pounding of hooves sounded in the dark, and every sound was clear. The monk's big bald head is white and dense, and it looks itchy. The scholar really wants to pounce and take a bite. Of course, you can't do this. The monk asked: Go, why are you biting me? The scholar thought again: Picking up a stone and opening his ladle can also stop itching. You can't do such a thing. The monk kept talking, and the scholar felt even more itchy after listening to him. Monks are talking about women. Who can imagine a child who believes in Buddhism saying such a thing?

The monk said: Annan's woman is petite and exquisite, with gentle temperament and unique interest on her knees; Xianbei women are tall and white, with a slender neck, which is most suitable for lying on the couch; Young girls in Japan are well-versed in etiquette and behave appropriately, and are no longer suitable for being maids. Barbarians in the western regions are passionate and sexually active. One at home is enough, not two. When it comes to women in China, monks think that women in Sanxiang are gentle, women in Bashu are versatile, women in Longxi are loyal, and women in Guanzhong are suitable for wives. Only Zhao Yan's wife is the worst in the world, because she is a tigress. Hearing the last sentence, the scholar was a little angry because his wife was from Hebei. Therefore, he said that women nowadays are indecent, and they will live with whoever they meet, no matter whether they are monks or Taoists, they have hair on their heads. In this regard, the monk said that women can't be blamed. After the New Year, there was an Anshi rebellion, and then there was a riot. Nine times out of ten, the man leaves, but the woman wants to get married. Therefore, it is not bad to marry a monk. Hearing this, the scholar almost laughed. This monk is so funny!

The monk said that it is better to talk about women than riding and shooting. The scholar's heart itches again-he insists on archery in horse racing, whether it's beating gongs and drums or knocking wooden fish to chant Buddhist scripture! However, this is a favorite topic of scholars. Although facing a monk, he couldn't help but speak: most people who are used to archery think that riding a fierce horse, holding a strong bow and using a long arrow to pierce the Yang with a hundred paces is a good archery. In fact, this kind of shooting art is not even good. People who really know archery enjoy archery as an art. Sanqiu went to the lake to shoot wild geese, took a camel's longbow, a Bashu longarrow, a birch canoe and a good yellow dog. Although he was shooting wild geese, he didn't want to win them, in order to enjoy the crisp autumn sky, the strong wind at the zenith and his little interest in Wan Li when he was full of bows. To shoot sculptures in the desert in the middle of winter, you should use a strong horn bow, a sounding cymbal in the north, a good horse outside your mouth, and a slave of Xianbei, and experience the anger of an angry Ma Qiang when he bows and shoots a bird of prey. Shooting birds and shooting pheasants on the ridge in spring, you can shoot freely with a soft bow of white wood and a light arrow of reeds, and you can feel the wildness of hiking in spring without a little effort. Shooting birds in the forest in summer, with Sang Mu's small bow and arrow, accompanied by a suitcase with children hanging. Shooting birds in the forest is a delicate job, which requires both eyes and ears. You should concentrate on shooting without any deviation. Go to the forest to drink when you are sleepy. This way of shooting is called shooting.

The monk said that it seems that "xianggong" has a lot of experience in shooting art and is an expert. But in the old monk's view, depending on the weather and location, choosing a bow and arrow to shoot is inevitably contaminated with a little carving. Nothing is more convenient than taking local materials. For example, an old monk took part in meditation in a quiet room, and flies disturbed people. He just took mung beans as pills, which meant shooting art. Mosquitoes disturbed people in summer night. He pulled down a bamboo curtain, tied up his hair and shot it with pine needles, only to hear the buzz stop one after another. This was a glimpse of the mystery of shooting art. When fleas disturbed people, the old monk shot all the stubbled male fleas with rice as the bow and silk as the string. The mother flea longed for love and moved out of the quiet room. The poor monk's marksmanship can't be said to be exquisite. Those who are extremely good at shooting can blow the autumn hair on the leopard's tail with their breath and shoot the dust flying in the sun. Only at this stage can they be called complete.

The scholar turned purple when he heard these words. He thought, it's a good thing that no one in the mountains heard him, or someone would have listened, and they would have said that two cowhide talents were bragging. If so, it would be a waste of injustice! I shoot geese, vultures, pheasants and finches, all of which are true, unlike this bald donkey shooting flies, mosquitoes and fleas, which is sheer nonsense. If nothing else, catch a flea, how can you tell its mare? Unless a flea can talk, it claims to be raw or concubine. Even so, you still don't know if what it says is true, so you can only check its household registration-this is not good. What do I think of flea's household registration? Even if you can see; People don't know fleas. So I have to mention a flea as a translator. How can you believe such a translation? Fleas suck human blood, which is totally incredible. So it is impossible to distinguish the strength of fleas. Monks who blow this kind of cowhide are not afraid to flash their tongues! Thinking of these, the scholar's heart itches even more. He really wants to hit two black holes on the monk's bald head, but he thinks such a thing can't be done. When the monk's wife saw it, she could not help blaming me.

The scholar looked up and found himself in the deep mountains. The monk smiled and said it was interesting to have someone talking at night. We might as well let our families have a car fight first and talk about it later. The scholar nodded and said to himself, this is much better! If I can't hold it, no one will see me hit you. So they stood by the side of the road and let the traffic go ahead.

At this time, the moon has risen to the sky, and the mountains are a silver world. There is a breeze blowing on the slope, clean and bright, like glazed tiles. In the moonlight, all the leaves on the mountain are shining, and some places are still shaking. Don't shake anywhere else. The scholar thought, this is really a beautiful world. God bless me, I won't do anything indecent. When the itching subsided, he went with the monk and continued to talk about many things.

The monk said, let's talk about fencing after riding and shooting. This is also the scholar's favorite topic, so he spoke first: fine steel, after many trials and tribulations, finally became a soft finger. He has a steel sword as thin as a cicada's wing, which is silent in the wind. When not in use, this sword can be tied around the waist as a belt, and when it is used, it is held in your hand, and its blade is swaying like brilliance. Swing like a white horse, change when you poke it. If this sword is in my hand at this time, I just need to flick it gently, and before I know it, my master's head will roll to the ground and chew the mud. At that time, your old man only felt very dizzy, and his face was sore on the ground, but he didn't expect his head to fall to the ground. The scholar laughed at these words, but his heart trembled. There is such a sword, but it is not all his. This is a treasure handed down from generation to generation in his family. His father is not dead yet, so this sword can't be said to be his. I didn't bring this sword when I went out this time. The monk wants to see it, but he can't get it out. This is a compliment. But it doesn't matter. You can invite monks to visit your home. If he refuses to go, he must say that the scholar is bluffing, just to take this opportunity to fight with him, and it won't be over until he is bruised.

The scholar thought a lot, but the monk didn't question it. He said that swords like this can only be said to be ordinary products, although they are the best among ordinary products. If you peel off a strand of bamboo skin on the surface of green bamboo with a razor, it is a good sword to put it between your fingers. Take it and wave it on the water ephemera. The worm is still flying. Flying more than ten feet away, it suddenly broke in two. If the old monk has such a sword in his hand, he just needs to wave it gently, and Xianggong will unconsciously seize the monk's way. You don't know yet. Walk home happily. When I changed my clothes at night and wanted to enter Luo Shao's account with my wife, I found myself lost by the old monk. The monk laughed, but the scholar was angry and said:

"You old thief bald! It's good that I don't kill you, but you make fun of me, but you are impatient? " But the monk continued:

"Of course," xianggong "is a good friend of the old monk, and the monk will never castrate you. The old monk's swordsmanship is just so-so among swordsman. A thief used mica from the North Sea as a knife. No one can see it except in the midday sun. When he cuts people, it's like his head rolls to the ground. Really beautiful! There is also a swordsman who makes a sword with extremely thin silver thread. The sword is invisible, and the swordsman's technique is fast disappearing. Unconsciously, a sword stabbed into your left chest. Don't say that. Your heart can't beat. If you are caught with chest tightness and shortness of breath, please be a doctor and cook soup for you. The more treatment, the less effective it is. At this time, Mr. swordsman stood by and watched the excitement. If he is in a good mood, you can still live if you come forward and draw your sword. In case he loses money, you will die, and you thought you had angina pectoris when you died! "

Hearing these words, the scholar's heart ached again. The thief's baldness is really out of control. Mica is extremely brittle. Why is it a knife? Silver wire is extremely soft, why is it a sword? If mica and silver silk can kill people, a hair can strangle people's heads. Is the human body made of tofu? It turns out that the mother snail is such a process: after mending the sky, her old man cooked a large pot of soybean milk at the seaside and ordered a pot of tofu with a little seawater. This is our ancestor. Nu Wa Niangniang is not simple. A pot can cook male tofu and female tofu. When two pieces of tofu are combined, a small tofu is born. This is fucking outrageous. The Jade Emperor sat for nine days, Yamaraja the Great sat in the underworld, and the leader of Fulu lived and died. It turned out that two joint ventures opened a tofu mill. Ok, great! The scholar slipped behind, stole his hand, took out his slingshot and bounced it behind the monk's head.

The iron tire of the scholar's slingshot was painted. I haven't learned archery, and I can't open it with brute force. His projectile is made of annan copper. If you accidentally drop it in your hand, your feet will swell. If this bullet hits the monk's head, it will inevitably come out of his head. The scholar must feel strange, thinking that the monk was bragging, and suddenly he drilled a big copper pill into his mouth. If the projectile comes out of the eye socket, the monk feels something fall from his face, and then picks it up and grabs his eye. As long as this kind of thing doesn't fall on you, everyone finds it interesting. The scholar felt that he had a good sense of humor and laughed.

Who knows that the monk blew happily and shook his head, and the bullet just brushed past his ear. The scholar lost his hand and could not help secretly losing his heart. His target can hit a small handleless wine cup 30 feet away. How could he miss such a big bald head now? Why didn't the monk shake his head early or late, but when he was shooting? Isn't this bald man bragging, but has some real skills? The scholar closed his bow and ran to listen to the monk's music:

"Master, what sound can you hear?"

"Oh, a big dung beetles flew by, hum!"

The scholar thought, I wonder how long the monk's ears are. What's the sound of bullets flying by and dung beetles flying by? He felt sorry for the monk. He said that he was skilled in martial arts, and someone was plotting against him, but he didn't know. Desperate kid brushed his ears and thought it was dung beetles! It's not worth beating him to death just to talk to him. Two people walk side by side, talking about all kinds of martial arts, talking about fists and sticks. Monks have many sayings, just like riding and shooting fencing, which is unheard of by scholars and unheard of. He is very fat. Silly, a big bald head is white and bright in the moonlight, so people can't help but look at it more.

The moon is brighter than before. The scholar was laughing in his heart, and the Yushu silver flowers all over the mountain seemed to be flying around him. I want to laugh in my heart, but I can't laugh in my mouth. This is not good. He thought: I want to talk to this bald uncle about some sad topics, lest he invite me to hit his bald head. So he said:

"Master cheng yen, do you know that the road is not peaceful now? Now there are thieves in the mountains and bandits in the water. Some thieves kill people and throw them on the side of the road, which is a virtue. Some thieves kill people with novel methods and do great harm. We crossed the Hanshui River yesterday. When the driver saw that the water was green, he went swimming. One swooped down and saw a large group of people underwater, rolling their eyes one by one, with big iron balls under their feet and their noses and lips bitten by fish. It's really scary I also heard that there was a local thief in Wenzhou who wanted to drown people in a sauce jar and dig them out later. They are pickled like pickles and covered with wrinkles. Someone hung the living in the fumigation workshop and smoked them to death. The corpse is roughly the same as bacon, and it was almost sold as a pig. Nowadays, people kill people with a sense of humor! "

The monk said, "What sense of humor do these little thieves have? I know that there are several water bandits on Dongting Lake. At night, they smoke businessmen with incense, fill them with lead sand and sew up their bellies. When the man got up the next morning, he only felt heavy and struggled to stand up. After two steps in the cabin, I heard a tumult in my stomach. I ran out in a panic, slipped into the water and sank immediately. There are also several mountain thieves who, when catching guests, perform major surgery on broken bones, twist their hands into twists and pin them behind their heads, and then twist their legs in one direction to the front and the other to the back. Then let the man out. He stumbled on the mountain road and fell into the mountain stream. Killing people like this is a sense of humor. "

The scholar thought: This monk has phlegm. Tell you a serious thing, you should regard it as nonsense. It seems necessary to have a deep talk to arouse your sense of crisis. So he said: "It is not easy for people who dare to go out for a walk now. These days, going out for a long time is like climbing a knife down a mountain in a sea of fire. Who dares to come out without superhuman powers? So you see a traveling salesman who may have an iron meteor hanging around his waist. I saw Lifu, a pickpocket. He may have a cufflink in his sleeve. Just a smiling prostitute with a dagger in her arms! People with guys are emboldened and angry. When they drink with strangers in restaurants, they exchange old fists and wear barbed buttons. Fighting with people on the mountain road, when you are not angry, you will pick up the sandalwood stick and throw it into the cave with your brain. As long as you dare to stare at me with your eyes, I will drag you with eight catties of iron thistles. Avoiding is only your own business, so be careful when you walk now. Watch your words and deeds. Make others angry, and your head will be unstable. "

The monk said, "Such travelers are just cowards. When they saw a fierce Lord, they could only run away. They only hate their parents' lack of legs. Look at me, monk. I'm unarmed. I want to travel around the world in public. I only have a meat stick to pee with. Who dares to touch Lao tze? The roar of the old monk can make soup flow in other people's ears. Stamp your feet, and the person opposite will be unstable. Thieves call me grandpa when they see me; The thief dare not cough loudly in front of me. So I began to walk happily, so that I was interested in going out. Be careful, okay? What should I do carefully? "

Hearing this, the scholar felt more itchy. Robbers don't cough when they see you. Are you a cough medicine? I have read all the medical books, but I have never seen anything like it. Bald monks are cold and flat, relieving cough and asthma, resolving phlegm and promoting fluid production, and the effect is as good as that of God without processing. Did Grandpa Wang Yao write it, or did you pretend? Even if it's a cough, it's only effective after eating it. How to work at a glance? Why not open a clinic and let patients with tertiary tuberculosis, asthma, tracheitis and emphysema line up to see your bald head? You don't have to pay taxes to brag, for fear of a slight omission, you will suffer a thief's loss. It is because you are a boastful monk that walking is so comfortable. The robber probably thought it was unlucky to rob the monk and let you go, but I let you go!

The scholar slipped back again and took out his bow. He prayed in his heart and said, "Monk, don't blame me for going to the underworld. It's not that I'm cruel, it's that you make me can't help it. I'll blow your head off. It's painless! Let you change the world in a blink of an eye and be worthy of you! " After the prayer, he gritted his teeth and shot at the monk, just like cutting watermelon on his desk.

When the scholar fired the bullet, the monk just walked into the shadow. In the blink of an eye, he came out of the shadows again, and his shiny bald head was still safe and sound. The scholar was surprised because he was careful and steady when he released the bomb, and there was no possibility of missing the target. It seems that this monk is not bragging, but really capable. He put away his bow and rode after him. I can't wait to leave. The monk is telling the truth. It is true to shoot mosquitoes and fleas. So are mica knives and silver swords. Monks are indeed cough pills, and some people do know that fleas are warm. The female snail empress did order a pot of tofu at the seaside, and the medical book did say that the bald monk was cold and flat. This is the inevitable conclusion that monks don't brag! The scholar lost his mind at the thought of here. Looking up at the front, the scholar can't help but exclaim:

"Master, we are lost!"

"Fan? No fans! "

The scholar thought: This is not right. If you are not lost, you should walk out of the mountain. But the mountain ahead is steeper! Besides, the vehicle is gone, if it is not the wrong way, unless I am really full of tofu! He said:

"Master, our vehicle is gone!"

""xianggong ",this is the way to my home, the old monk I have never seen anyone more interesting than you. Therefore, I'd like to invite "xianggong" to live in Leng Temple for a few days. Baojuan and his luggage took a shortcut and have arrived home now. Xianggong and I walked a long way to listen to Gao's advice. "

The scholar thought, this is even more outrageous! Who wants to go to your house? How did my family and luggage get to your house? You invited me to your house, and I agreed? I still want to shoot this bald donkey. I don't believe the snail queen ordered tofu.

Although the scholar doesn't believe in the monk's cowhide, he is also afraid of the monk's skill. Suddenly a dark cloud flew across the sky, covering the moon perfectly. I can't see my fingers around, and I can't pull them back. The monk is still chattering. The scholar took out his bow and played a string of serial bombs in the dark. This time, even the elusive weasel failed to escape the bullets in the dark. At the last shot, the scholar clapped his hands and laughed.

Suddenly, the monk shouted, "There is no one in the mountain, and Xianggong is so surprised, but you want to scare the old monk to death?" The scholar was surprised and quickly put away his bow. After a while, the dark clouds passed, and the scholar saw that the monk was safe and sound, and they went on their way again.

The scholar is still itching. He really doesn't want monks in the world. If this monk exists in the world, you have to believe that fleas have household registration books and people are made of tofu. These things itch so much that I can't believe it. But the same incredible thing happened. Fighting with marbles tonight is a big bald head, and he can't hit again and again. He just want to these worries, suddenly listen to the monk said:

Xianggong, your horse is lame. See if it missed its hoof. "

The scholar thought, what a pity. I am absent-minded. I didn't know the horse was lame. So he got off the horse and looked at all four hooves. All hooves are fine. That's strange. How can a horse be lame without leaking hooves? I took a few steps with the horse and found that it was not lame at all. Since the horse is not lame, how can the monk say it is lame? Looking up again, the monk disappeared. The scholar was really surprised and thought he had met a ghost. He mounted his horse and chased him, shouting, "Master! Master! Wait a minute #

After ten miles, I finally caught up with the monk. The scholar breathed a sigh of relief and the two walked side by side. He didn't see the monk staring at his eyes, and his face was covered with dark clouds. The two men each thought about their own worries and never spoke again.

The scholar suddenly realized that the monk never said that fleas had household registration books, nor did he say that people were made of tofu. He only said that he could identify fleas and mica silver thread could kill people. Since he didn't say so, how can I find it interesting to study it carefully! I had to think so, so I had a reason to kill him. Now that the monk can't die, what can I do? Do you believe that fleas have household registration books, or that your mind is full of tofu? He only thought about his own heart, but he didn't see the setting of the moon in the west, the dawn in the east, the birds in the forest and the fog in the valley. Nor did he see that the road is endless. It turned out that the monk led him in circles. Suddenly, the monk took him to a canyon, where there was a car and the driver dozed off on the axle.

The coachman looked up at the sound of hooves and rolled his eyes in fear when he saw the Confucian scholar. That night, he was too scared to speak again. The monk said, "xianggong", all the family members are here. I'll order a banquet when I get home, and I'll pick you up later. "

The scholar opened the curtain in front of the car and saw his wife and servant girl asleep inside. These people can enjoy themselves. As soon as the car entered the mountain, they fell asleep and haven't woken up yet. Looking back at the monk, he has gone a long way and the scholar has caught up with him. This time, the monk was impatient.

Xianggong, your family has been returned to you, so why do you stay with me? "

The scholar said, "Master, we are still colleagues. The scholar is thinking about something, and he wants to tell the master what is on his mind. "

So the two men took to the mountain road again and gradually reached the top of the mountain. Finally, the sun rose, the sun shone, and the scholar bridled the horse and said:

"Master, I want to understand!"

The monk was also thinking, so he stopped his horse and said with a sigh, "Xianggong, I also want to understand #"

The scholar said,' Master, I have been practicing martial arts since I was a child, and I can play and use swordsmanship. When someone says something that doesn't agree with me, I'll blow his head off and tell him to stop talking. Now I understand that this practice is very bad. When I was a child, I played chess. Every time I lose, I pull out my knife and stick it on the chessboard, so I win. The result is still a shit chess. The same is true of listening to people. If the master is wrong and I kill you, how can I increase my knowledge? For example, if the master says that ginger is the fruit of a tree, I can only say that you are wrong, but you can't kill the master. Because if I can't die, I'll be embarrassed. The master is standing in front of me alive now. I believe that ginger is born on trees? So killing is not a good game. Don't kill anyone anyway. "

"Xianggong," the monk said, "the old monk learned some martial arts from elementary school and did business on mountain roads for free." Monks rob, but they don't kill. I choose people like xianggong to come with me. You say east, I say west, you say chicken lays eggs, I say egg lays chicken. If you hit me in a hurry, I'll show you some hands to scare you away, and my luggage will be mine. Now I understand that this practice is very bad. Take tonight for example. You can't hit me with one bullet, hit me with two bullets, and hit me with the last bullet, but you still don't run away. At this time, I am so embarrassed. You stand in front of me now, and I'll punch your head into the hole? This is not good, because I robbed your luggage and killed you, which is really cruel. Should I return your luggage for this? This is not good either, because you hit me seventeen or eighteen times, and I let you hit me. If I don't rob you, I will be beaten by you. Isn't that a masochist? Therefore, robbery is not a good game. I won't rob it anyway. "

After the monk and Confucianism exchanged heart songs, they went to the monk's house together. Monks should entertain scholars and regard them as their best friends.