First love is for practicing hands.

When I was a girl, I also knitted a golden dress with all my beautiful fantasies, waiting for my hero to set foot on the clouds, which was a great honor.

It happened that it was not the Monkey King who came to me that year, but Shen Bei.

It was just sunset that day. He came to me under the warm light, his hair was slightly wet and he smelled of hot lemon soap.

For him, I came at the right time because I had a bottle of frosted mineral water in my hand.

For me, his appearance is just right, but there are no colorful auspicious clouds under my feet.

Of course, Shen Bei may not know my heartache at that moment, or it is too unusual for him. He just regards me as one of his many admirers.

So he casually gave me the basketball in his hand, and then, regardless of my dumbfounded, he took a swig of the ice water in my hand and showed a satisfied smile.

After a long time, I still regret my stupid behavior at that time. At that time, I was too young and simple to know how to show all kinds of eyes at this moment.

To hide my embarrassment, I said hesitantly, "That … water is for me to drink."

His smile suddenly became flustered, and he quickly put water in my hand, and the basketball didn't run away.

As for it? I petrified in the same place until the harsh class bell rang above my head, accompanied by the dean's harsh voice: "What are you doing here with a basketball pestle after class?" In your class? "

The warmth of the sun recedes, and the autumn wind is bleak, rolling a fallen leaf and falling indifferently and comically.

When the dean offered to confiscate Shen Bei's basketball, I gave it to him without hesitation. After that class, Shen Bei couldn't wait to ask me where the basketball was, and then complained angrily, "Yuan Lemon, don't be too loyal."

How dare he talk about friendship with me! I said slowly, "People who are loyal to others have long run away after planting a frame."

Shen Bei paused, smiled and put out two fingers to put on airs in my face. I was so surprised that I quickly turned my head and glanced at him like a blade.

Shen Bei withdrew his hand. "You are so cute."

Since then, Shen Bei has countless impulses to pinch my face, all of which have been stifled by my blade-like eyes. He thinks this is a kind of heartfelt love, but in my eyes, it means something else.

Besides, he nicknamed me Yuan Yuan. I know my face is a little round, you don't need to remind me every day!

One night many years later, I was sleepy and got a call from Shen Bei. On the other end of the phone, he vaguely said to me, "Yuanyuan, I really want to pinch your face."

I woke up from the chaos and tears welled up in my eyes.

2

Generally speaking, handsome guys like Shen Bei are very playboy. Sixteen-and seventeen-year-olds are surrounded by all kinds of admiring eyes all day, and it is inevitable that they cannot withstand the temptation. Shen Bei's girlfriends can make up a row, and there are countless girls who secretly love him.

I have a deep crush on Shen Bei, even I didn't realize it myself. I just often inadvertently glance at him out of the corner of my eye, recognize him at a glance in a group of people, and I am very excited to see him wearing an ordinary white T-shirt today in the morning, but I turn a blind eye even if my deskmate is glittering.

I don't know and I can't believe I'm paying attention to Shenbei. I stubbornly believe that it is only caused by the deep fate between us. I thought I actually despised people like Shen Bei from my heart. Is it amazing to be tall and handsome? Girlfriends change like merry-go-round. Today is A Ying's boyfriend, and tomorrow may be A Yan's boyfriend.

It's just that I didn't expect that before long, he would become the boyfriend of my good friend Xia Kuyaku.

I live near Xia Qi's house. From elementary school to high school, we have been going to school together for ten years, rain or shine. I used to think that friendship could last forever. It was not until a long time later that she begged me with tears to let her go with Shen Bei that I realized that the perfect friendship between us had unconsciously cracked at the age of seventeen.

Suddenly there was a light bulb on the way after school, which made me very uncomfortable, especially when the light bulb was myself.

I have strongly indicated that I won't go with Xia Kuyaku and Shen Bei after school, but the innocent and pleading appearance of those two people makes me feel very sorry, and I can only eat dog food silently behind them every day.

Not only that, they asked me to cover for them on their weekend date. I followed them to the movies and went shopping for dinner. Over time, a lot of tacit understanding was born.

Shen Bei seems to me to be no different from Xia Kuyaku. Sometimes I walk side by side with Xia Kuyaku, and he often runs over and stretches out his arms as if to put his arms around two people's shoulders at the same time.

Xiakuyaku naturally bowed his head and smiled, but I gave him a razor-blade look. He passively put down his arm and casually started talking and laughing with us.

Shen Bei is a spoiled child with a prince's temper. Sometimes the three of us eat together and eat well. I don't know if that sentence will make him angry, break plates and bowls, or even leave.

Xia Kuyaku likes him to the point of abnormal condition. Even though he almost poked his eyes with chopsticks, he even thought about not having enough to eat when he left halfway.

three

At that time, there was a rumor about Shen Bei that he had a deadline for making girlfriends, which would not exceed three months.

Seeing the three-month deadline approaching, Xia Qi became nervous. One day she said to me carefully, "Lemon, I think I am different from others in his mind."

I was struggling with a math problem, so I said without thinking, "All his girlfriends thought he was the last one."

The air around me suddenly turned cold, and I didn't react. My tone is so contemptuous, even with the taste of sour grapes. I quickly looked up and explained to her, "I I didn't mean that. In fact, I think he is really good to you. "

I tried to make my eyes look sincere, but Shakuyaku turned away in disappointment, sighed slightly and said nothing.

The rift between us seems to be getting bigger and bigger, and it hisses and braves the cold in December weather.

On a snowy day, Shakuyaku fell ill with a cold.

Surrounded by a gray dim light, I was walking home from school alone when I suddenly heard Shen Bei calling me behind me. I turned to look, and the snow fell on his head. His smile is as warm as the winter sun, but not dazzling.

"Yuanyuan, why did you leave without me?"

I looked at him blankly, and large tracts of snowflakes were falling before my eyes. "Xia Qi didn't come again. Why should I wait for you?"

Shen Bei smiled and said, "We're going!"

In fact, we didn't stop by at all because of the heavy snow and the bus can't wait. Shen Bei took my sleeve and said, "Let's walk back."

I was dragged away by him in such a muddle.

As far as I can remember, it was not cold at all that day. Shen Bei has been stubbornly tugging at my sleeve and confidently said that it was done to prevent me from slipping.

The snow is getting heavier and heavier, the streets are sparsely populated, and the whole world is wrapped in tenderness.

Wrapped in the rustling sound of falling snow, Shen Bei suddenly laughed out loud.

I stared at him. "What's so funny?"

"Have you ever heard a saying: When it snows, you must go outside with your beloved, because if you are not careful, you will lose your head together."

My heart moved and I blushed unconsciously. I tried to calm myself down and said to him, "It's a pity that Xiakuyaku didn't come today."

Shenbei Station stopped, looked at me seriously and said, "I meant this sentence for you."

I forced myself to meet his eyes. "This joke is not funny at all." Then I ran away pretending to be angry. I fell down without running a few steps.

I heard Shen Bei hysterical laughter from behind me, got up quickly and ran home without looking back.

In the past few days when I called in sick in Xiakuyaku, Shen Bei and I still went home together, which made me feel guilty about poaching my best friend, but I couldn't control my love for him.

From the first time he came to me in the sun, I was like stepping on a high-speed train, full of love for him. Even if you know that you got on the wrong bus, liking him has become an inertia. No matter how hard I try, I can't find the brakes.

four

After Shakuyaku recovered from his cold, the atmosphere between the three of us became subtle. In the face of Xia Kuyaku, I always feel guilty. It happened that Shenbei was wicked. She often looks at me with frank and fiery eyes in front of Xia Kuyaku, with a smile on her lips.

Fortunately, Shakuyaku doesn't think so. She treats me better than before, which makes me feel more guilty.

One day, Xia Kuyaku inadvertently followed Shen Bei and called me Yuan Yuan. I just paused, but Shen Bei's face suddenly elongated. "Yuan Yuan is your name? Yuanyuan is my exclusive name for her. "

Xia Kuyaku's face is red and white, and I feel particularly uncomfortable. I blame Shen Bei, "how dare you say! Since you gave me this nickname, my face is more round. "

Although this self-deprecating joke has no punch line, Xia Kuyaku's face somehow returned to normal, and he laughed out loud.

Shen Bei doesn't appreciate my overall situation at all. He said to me with a dark face: "You go first, I have a few words to say to Shakuyaku."

As soon as he finished this sentence, Xia Kuyaku's body suddenly trembled and his expression was a little flustered. "I suddenly remembered that my mother asked me to come home from school today. Lemon, let's go. "

She grabbed my hand, and I felt the coolness and trembling in her hand, and suddenly I had an ominous premonition.

Finally, Xia Kuyaku didn't give Shen Bei a chance to talk, so he dragged me into the car in a hurry. When I was two stops away from home, she dragged me out of the car again, my face was still horribly white, and her voice was in tears. "Lemon, Shen Bei wants to break up with me. What should I do? What should I do? "

Her surprise overwhelmed me. "Don't panic, he doesn't have to tell you about it."

Xia Kuyaku stared at me with red eyes. "Lemon, I always knew that Shenbei liked you."

"What nonsense? Did you listen to other people's nonsense? " I am eager to clear my name, but I forget a truth. Loud voice makes me feel guilty.

"Lemon, don't you like him? What good friends we are. You wouldn't do that, would you? It's not important to like him. It's good that the three of us are together like this every day. Lemon I don't want to break up with Shenbei. " She looked at me in horror, with pleading and condemnation in her eyes, as if I was really the scumbag who pried her corner while she was ill for two days.

I thought I didn't have to go with them after school, but Shakuyaku rushed at me as soon as school was over. It took me a long time to react. She is just afraid that when she is alone with Shen Bei, he will say the word "break up". But hiding is useless. For Shen Bei, breaking up is a common occurrence. Three days later, he broke up with Shakuyaku regardless of my presence.

He was expressionless when he said this. Obviously, Xia Kuyaku's dodge in the past three days has made him patient to the extreme.

Xia Kuyaku grabbed my hand and cried loudly. She may have always understood that Shen Bei is no different to her, but she just doesn't want to admit it.

For her, Shen Bei was the only one in the whole adolescence, but for Shen Bei, she was just one of a row of girlfriends. She will hate him or love him for life, but he won't.

five

After breaking up with Shakuyaku, Shen Bei soon found his next goal, and that was me.

I admit that after receiving his love letter, I was elated and read it countless times over and over again until I could recite it word for word. There are still three months before the college entrance examination, and he won't waste it, but I dare not go crazy with him.

At that time, it was always cheap enough to say anything.

He said that he had never asked anyone so humbly, cared so much and was afraid of losing. It took me several years to understand that what I can't get is always the best. If I choose to be with him in the last three months, I can only be a vague face in his memory.

I kept these letters for many years until the stationery was turned over by me. I threw them into the trash can countless times, then picked them up and shook them, and continued to regard them as treasures.

Shakuyaku and I became more and more silent on our way home until one day she couldn't go to school and her mother told me that she was depressed. When I went to see her, she broke up with me, just like when Shen Bei broke up with her, expressionless and cold.

No one knows about it except me. Everyone thinks that she came to school after enrolling in the intensive college entrance examination class, so Shen Bei has no sense of shame. It would be more convenient for Shakuyaku not to come to me.

He asked me to meet him at the basketball court, and he waited for me to play basketball alone for more than an hour. I hid behind the wall and watched him for over an hour. I watched him jump and shoot. Every movement is so handsome. I didn't dare to appear until tears blurred my eyes.

I am not as brave and naive as Shakuyaku, and I will despair when I know that the result is tragic.

One week before the college entrance examination, the school was closed. Shen Bei suddenly came to my house at noon in the sun and pretended to ask me for advice with a set of physics papers. My parents have complicated expressions, but we can't just kick him out and pretend to be calm and let him have lunch. I dare not even stage a love-hate relationship with him in front of my parents. Shen Bei was as proud as a big-tailed wolf, and winking at me when my parents weren't paying attention made me jumpy.

After he left, he sent me a short message: I'm sorry to scare you, but I can't help it. I miss you so much.

At that time, the mobile phone could only store dozens of short messages, and I have been struggling to delete which one looks less important to leave room for new information, although I have never replied to those short messages.

The battery of that mobile phone was finally scrapped the other day. I visited a universal treasure and couldn't find a matching battery. It turns out that time is always limited. Life is short, and what belongs to us is shorter.

six

In September of that year, Shen prepared for a military school in Nanjing, and I stayed in this city in the deep north to go to college.

The connection between us is intermittent. He often disappears inexplicably for a long time when I miss him very much, and suddenly appears when I miss him more.

Sometimes he will call me convulsively at night and play the guitar and sing to me. I listened to a song attentively and quietly, and hung up without saying a word. I know that even in a military school where girls are scarce, he has never been alone.

Sometimes he will feel very tired and say to me in a very tired tone, "Yuanyuan, why are you so difficult to repair?"

My roommates can't understand our procrastination. Love should be a simple and enjoyable thing, not like me, I can torture myself and cry at the thought of a certain moment, and the two of us are always in doubt and temptation. Although Shen Bei keeps saying that she likes me, she leads a gentle life of partying. I have been stubbornly refusing to promise him, but I am always alone and don't know what I am waiting for.

That summer, I accompanied my mother to travel to Shanghai. Her old man's house is not acclimatized, and the sun in the south makes her even more daunting. She hid in the hotel and refused to go out.

I went to Xitang alone. Although it is still hot at dusk, there are no tourists this season. The gentle ancient town recovered its quiet and slow appearance, and the old man and the dog sat leisurely under the tree by the water to enjoy the cool. I walked slowly along the misty corridor, watching the sunset pull the shadows of pavilions and waterside pavilions obliquely to the ground, and then I saw Shenbei at the end of the corridor.

It seems that after many years, it is like dreaming again. He came to me with a sunset glow and a smile.

We didn't seem to say how coincidental you are here, but naturally walked side by side along the river. He took my hand, I subconsciously hid for a while, and then I was led away by him.

The sunset hanging in the distant horizon is the most beautiful temptation in the world. It seems that if you keep walking hand in hand, you can go on forever.

I dodged from beginning to end, holding his hand tightly, fearing that it was just a dream. As soon as I let go, he will suddenly disappear.

Later, things didn't develop as you thought. The prodigal son of the prince turned around and lived a happy life with Cinderella. For me, the sunset in Xitang is a scene I will never forget. For Shen Bei, it is just a bridge that I am used to understanding with my heart. This beautiful scenery is not a dream but also a dream. After returning to reality, we still live our own lives.

In hundreds of years, how many lovers have set foot on the sunset in Xitang, and how many loves have been on and off here? Life is short, but the sunset lasts forever.

My college life is not good enough, and my ideal love and sweetheart have never come. Maybe he has been here before, but I refuse to go with him.

seven

In this game of love, I succeeded in being calm and self-sustaining, but fortunately I didn't become one of the many dumped women in Shenbei. But I also lost because I was too calm and self-sufficient. I have heard many people tell me that Shen Bei and Xia Qi have been on and off these years. Shen Bei sometimes calls me when he is drunk or depressed, so I received several calls from Xia Kuyaku later.

She cried and begged me not to contact Shen Bei again. No matter how many people are around Shen Bei, the only thing she cares about is me. What she said about pure friendship between men and women was nonsense, saying that I was very clever and hard to get. Even if one day she broke up with Shen Bei, she didn't want me to be the one standing beside Shen Bei.

We walked together for so long since childhood, and I naively thought that she was the most important person in my life except my parents, but this person sharpened her words and poked me in the heart. I said slowly, I never wanted to stand beside Shen Bei.

To associate with people like Shen Bei, or like those girls, after three months, the road is full of laughter and laughter, and the geese have been forgotten since then; Or, like Shakuyaku, stay with him and fight passionately with possible mistresses every day. After all, pain is more unforgettable than love. I am a lazy person and can't live that future.

I'd rather tell myself when I see a photo, hear a song and think of him like this, I'm not thinking about him, I'm just lonely.

I burned all the letters Shen Bei wrote to me and deleted his phone number and all social contact information. I told myself that I didn't like him anymore.

I don't like him, I don't like the hope and disappointment he gave me, and I don't like the entanglement and torture of those days.

/kloc-When he was 0/7 years old, I dressed him in golden holy clothes. When I was 27, I took them off for him myself.

Life is so long, even if it is really time to walk into the auditorium in white gauze, the person in front of you may not be able to accompany you for a lifetime. Who do I love and hate most in my life? Only by closing my eyes can I decide the outcome. Those promises made when I was young just can never be realized.

For the rest of my life, may we all be well.