Humorous copy

Humorous copy (76 selected sentences) 1. When I am free, I like to ask my husband if he knows what's wrong with keeping a straight face. Every time I have unexpected gains. 2. Just because I gave you one more look in the crowd, you chased me and asked, "Where to go, where to go, take a taxi?" Fat people are born mortal, or heavier than Mount Tai, or Huashan, or Huangshan, or Himalayas. I want to borrow money to buy a tank, but I'm afraid I can't pay it in the end. Then I think about it. What am I afraid of with tanks? I always want to sleep except when I sleep. 6. It is said that children are pearls left behind, and mothers are angels sent by God to protect children. And I am the top that God dropped, and my mother is the devil who likes to pull out the top. 7. I have been in love for a long time, that is narcissism, and I don't even have a rival in love. 8. When cleaning the house, I found that some cold medicines at home were about to expire. It's all bought with money, and it's wasted when it expires. So I took a cold bath and blew the air conditioner, and the cold succeeded. Finally, I found that the medicine was not enough! 9. When you drop your smartphone on the ground, it becomes a mobile phone with mental retardation. 10. The best alarm clock in the world is mom. You asked her to call you at 7: 00, and she came at 6: 30, telling you: Hurry up, it's almost 8: 00. 1 1. Sister, don't you dare steal a boyfriend from my sister. My sister eats more vinegar than you do. 12. I am single and had a girlfriend yesterday. We go shopping, my girlfriend goes to the toilet, and I play games in the public seat near the toilet. After that, I forgot what I was doing here and went straight home. 13. I didn't perform well this month. I was going to eat dirt. Unexpectedly, the sudden heavy snow changed my food. 14. Pupils are dismissed in the street. Netizen: Please give more care to the empty nesters after 90s. 15. Today, I practiced listening in English class. I frowned and finally chose the answer. I glanced at the top students and had no choice. I scoffed, but that's all. The top student seems to have noticed it, too, and gave a thumbs up: "Awesome, I finished writing before reading the topic." 16. What is the most important thing for two people to be together after marriage? God replied: Let's consider this marriage not yet married. 17. A group of ducks swam under the bridge in front of the door. Ducks say, Sister, come and play often ~ 18. How do you say four great inventions in English? God replied: Xingnong. 19. Broadcast gymnastics is so fake that girls have done chest expansion exercises for more than ten years without any effect. God replied: it is useless for boys to dance Latin. In today's society, it is useless to cook raw rice into cooked rice. Even if it turns into popcorn, the runner will still run. 2 1. What is the saddest sentence for a fat man to meet another fat man? God replied: Dude, where did you buy this dress? How does it fit so well? 22. Always say winning or losing is not important. How can winning or losing not matter? What's the use of a game if winning or losing is not important? 23. Q: Is it too late to learn piano at the age of 26? A: It's very difficult. Parents can't beat you 24. I passed a shop today and hung a myna. I stared at it and the goods stared at me. After a while, the goods said, why don't you talk? Ok, you win ... 25. "What's it like to fall in love at first sight?" "Have you ever seen RMB?" 26. Many people ask me about my relationship with Jackson Yee, and I say we are friends. Jackson suddenly hugged my thigh and cried, wife, don't do this. 27. What is the most regrettable thing you have said in your life? God replied: cut it if you think it looks good. 28. Stop chasing the bus and chase me. I'm slow and a little cute. 29. To be a mature adult, put autumn clothes into autumn trousers and autumn trousers into socks. 30. I don't know how people who talk once every six months do it. I feel that if I don't talk about it every day, my talent will have nowhere to display! 3 1. I finally know why people choose a good date for marriage, because there may be no good days after marriage. 32. You will never understand my sadness, just as the fat man doesn't understand why the thin man wants to lose weight. 33. When I was a child, I felt that falling was a very serious thing. Whether it hurts or not, cry first. 34. My son suddenly asked me, "Mom, I have a big aunt, a second aunt, a fourth aunt and a fifth aunt. Why don't I have a third aunt? Is she dead? " 35. Happiness is that although you didn't listen in class, you found that the listener didn't understand. 36. How to judge whether a person's shoes are new or old? Then step on his foot hard, if the other person says, "You stepped on my foot!" " "Those are old shoes, if the other person says," You stepped on my shoes! " "Then they must be new shoes! 37. A child gave me 100 yuan as his parents. When I got to his head teacher, I immediately knelt down and said, "Wife, listen to me! 38. Don't envy friends who have more steps than you in the sports rankings. They may not have gone far, but their legs are short. The cruelest reality is that the girl you like likes others, while the girl you don't like likes others. 40. Some people test their strength, others test their eyesight, and I test my imagination. 4 1. It is generally possible for a pretty girl to make her boyfriend obey, but I actually rely on threats. 42. The sister of company finance is a beauty. Yesterday, she overpaid me in 5 yuan. It seems that the opportunity has come. I decided to return the five dollars so that I could get in touch with the goddess and show my humanity. As a result, she worked overtime all night to change her account and ignored me for several days! 43. Some people lose weight by eating cream cake or hot pot with a bottle of sugar-free drink! 44. Recently, everyone in the community is saying that perverts are harassing residents and making me afraid to go out. If I am recognized, I will be in trouble. 45. When quarreling with her girlfriend, she shouted loudly, "Even if you buy me the lipstick I saw last time and the bag I have been longing for for for a long time, I won't forgive you!" I got the message and quickly coaxed her: "Don't worry, I won't buy it! ""46. On a blind date with the goddess, I said, "Next date, I'll take you for a ride in my sports car!" The goddess said shyly, "when you talk to me, can't you bring the word baby?" "Well, I'll take you for a ride in my precious sports car!" 47. Boys ignore you when playing LOL, not necessarily because they care about you, but also because they are waiting for resurrection. 48. Other people's 16-year-old girls are all teenagers in their hearts, while my 16-year-old girl only has magic in her heart. 49. All rich children in Korean dramas have a disease, that is, they must fall in love with poor girls. 50. The reason why an awesome person is awesome is because he has endured things that others can't stand and done things that others dare not do. 5 1. Don't complain to irrelevant people, because 20% people don't care, and the remaining 80% people are happy to hear. 52. Never compete with dogs. Won? You are worse than a dog. Lost? You are worse than a dog. Tied? You are no different from a dog. 53. "What's wrong with me being fat? Drink your water, eat your rice, wear your cloth, or what? " Sorry, you are blocking my wifi. Love yourself, no one will love yourself more than you. It is better to be beautiful than to live beautifully. 55. The sunflower class started. Daughter-in-law is always angry and mostly idle. Just buy some delicious digestion tablets and she will be fine. Husband is always angry, mostly pretending. Beat her to death 56. I suddenly had the impulse to study. I took a sip of water to calm my nerves. Okay, it's calm now. I was too impulsive just now. Fortunately, I have strong self-control. 57. Tell everyone a secret in secret. In fact, the first kiss does not exist. With the constant renewal of epithelial cells, every day is the first kiss. 58. Do you know why I go to see my aunt dancing in the square dance when I am free? Because after getting acquainted with menstruation, menstruation would ask: Does the young man have a girlfriend? If not, aunt will introduce you to one. 59. If you are really hungry, you can call me and I will grab a snack for you to chew. 60. The Chinese teacher is a beautiful graduate who has just joined the work. When students do something wrong, they like to whisper reprimands in their ears. I couldn't resist kissing her that time and successfully helped her get rid of this habit. 6 1. A series of Qing Dynasty dramas, such as Palace and Walking on Thin Ice, are connected in series, which is a living movie, The Girl Chased by Yongzheng in Those Years. I just bought a copy of Sun Tzu's Art of War at the stall. When I opened it, it was impressively written on the title page: First of all, you should have a grandfather. 63. Life is like a heartless meat cleaver, which not only fails to carve you well, but also shaves off your hair bit by bit. 64. For the rest of my life, I will be thin, rich and beautiful. 65. In this world, there are always many things that cannot be explained. For example, some people eat long IQ, while others eat long fat. 66. There is no love and hate for no reason in the world, only obesity for no reason! Don't expect to lose weight, one gain ruined everything, and Bajie didn't lose weight after walking hundreds of miles. Besides, he is a vegetarian! 67. It was also put on hold for a month before the oranges began to wrinkle and the apples were rotten. Such a thick skin is of great significance to life. 68. Some seemingly quiet girls don't even have extra money behind them, and even owe ants flowers. 69. My hobbies can be divided into static and dynamic. Static is sleeping, dynamic is turning over ... 70. Children are happy when they are sad, but we adults can't. We have to eat a good meal or buy something. 7 1. When you have insomnia, you should count not sheep, but kebabs, one, two, three, four ... then you won't be sleepy and start to get hungry! 72. If our relationship is weak, add some salt. I like wasting money very much, but I have no money, so I can only choose to waste time, because time is money. A waste of time is procrastination. You see, I'm procrastinating on the surface, but I'm actually showing off my wealth. 74. My parents really think I'm lazy and don't like going out. If I have money, you can't even meet my people. 75. Whenever I am ready to save money, there is always a voice saying to me: Be nice to myself, which is why I can't save money. From today on, as long as they are my friends, anyone who has no money will reply to me, and I can tell you how I lived without money.