Tonight, I answered my dad's phone with a serious tone. I was scolded as soon as I answered, saying that I had been thinking about it all day and I couldn't make people live. no

1

I am a senior three this year. The classroom was moved to the top floor of the canteen. The teacher smiled and said that it would be much more convenient for you to eat. The implication is that in senior three, reading is eating. In addition to the classroom is the canteen. You're not going anywhere.

Some girls cut their long hair. Many boys also shaved into the most common flat head.

A countdown table was posted at the back of the classroom. Every day, the first student who comes to the classroom will tear off a page. Students are often seen sighing at the chronograph. Just like the fable I read before. The pessimist said, "Alas, there are only a few days left." . Optimists say, "A few days".

I often see a girl lying on the table with a paper and crying secretly.

There will also be boys patting the table angrily and saying, "I can't fucking stand it."

Life becomes a pendulum. Swing back and forth between school and home monotonously all day.

Shirley sits behind me. Is a good-looking girl with a nice voice.

She often writes on my back during recess. Let me guess.

She said, what did I just write?

I said, mom.

She giggled. Say, good boy.

I turned my back on her and smiled.

Probably all children preparing for the art test. So, there will be many topics. She often shows me how many senior sisters she knows in the drama broadcasting department. Do you know how many handsome guys there are in the performance department of Nortel? You often ask me, do you think there is any hope for me to enter the broadcasting department of Nortel?

If I say, yes. She will be very happy. Even patting the table and shouting, Chen Chen, you are my bosom friend.

I have no antipathy to her behavior at all. On the contrary, it seems to be the truth I like.

Shirley often takes out a poem and reads it aloud during recess. She recited poetry with emotion. Mandarin is also very standard. Tongue sticking and flat tongue sounds are obviously separated, and there is no southern accent at all. But some students who work hard will look at her angrily and whisper something. And these, Shirley doesn't care.

I often hear Shirley read aloud before I know the class is over. And wake up from a coma. Raise your numb hand. Open your dry eyes.

2

There are fewer and fewer students in the class. There are several students who took the art exam, and they will not be here at the beginning of this semester. And give up the college entrance examination and inherit the family business. I wonder how they are now. What are you doing?

Ge went to Vancouver in his sophomore year. Live a comfortable life of going to school at 9 o'clock and finishing school at 3 o'clock. We often send text messages when we are dizzy from fighting and tell us that we will get together with our Asian classmates tomorrow. Or, take a half-day holiday on Halloween. Crazy. It's tangled

What must be distributed every day is an English comprehensive paper and a Chinese font analysis.

There are often hundreds of idioms for you to correct typos. I just don't understand that there is only one multiple-choice question in the college entrance examination language, which is to correct typos and pronunciation. Besides, it's a multiple-choice question. Besides, if you correct thousands of typos, you may not be able to suppress the examination questions. Besides, it's only four points.

But I know that these four points, in my opinion, are worthless, but they are things that many people desperately want to fight for.

That night, I suddenly told Anthony that I wanted to leave Hangzhou. Don't want to stay here He said, then come to Melbourne to play.

Suddenly remembered the summer of that year. During that time, I used my ID card, which I just got less than two months ago, to go through various formalities. Stay in a hotel. Buy a ticket. Get a visa. That summer, it was a walk.

So I turned on the computer and looked at the photos taken that summer. Press it one by one. I'm not in most photos. My only photo is in Halong Bay, Vietnam.

On the boat in Halong Bay. American beard. When he got off the boat, he said he would take a picture of me. Some timidly shook his head at him. He said, it doesn't matter, he will take a photo of everyone he meets during the trip.

Hesitated for a moment. But I smiled at his bulky Nikon SLR.

Three months later. Received his email. There is that photo in the attachment. He said that he was in Boston and missed his days in Vietnam. I also miss the China boy who told him about China movies.

My smile is a little stiff in the photo. Wearing a shirt with black and white stripes. The skin was tanned by the strong sunshine in Vietnam.

Suddenly I feel that the person in the photo is far away from me. three

In math class, I often break off a large piece of dark chocolate my father brought back from Russia and put it in my mouth. Then raise your left hand. Stick the sleeve of the earphone hidden in the ear. The right hand is pretending to hold a pen.

Often called by the teacher, I didn't hear it. Every time I stand up in a hurry to answer questions, my deskmate always gives me his reference books quickly. Then whisper to me where the answer is.

Often after answering these questions that I don't know what I'm talking about, the teacher always makes a gratified expression.

I don't know why, but I'm sad.

The girl sitting in the front. In literature and history class, I will take out an MP3 player and put it on the table. Only later did I know that she was recording. She proudly told me that she recorded every class of the teacher. Then listen at night. In this way, it's like listening to two classes. Even when she sleeps, she will plug earplugs. She said that although the body is asleep, the brain and mind are not asleep, so even if they are asleep, it is good to listen to the recording. It's like putting that knowledge into your head with a needle.

I often get goose bumps.

It is often said that that girl is out of control again. I cried in the toilet and called my parents to say that I wanted to go home.

All the fears and anxieties. All because of a series of cold numbers. I often wonder if this makes sense.

Senior three is like a deep mire. We fell into the abyss one by one.

I thought I could break free. I thought I could escape from this tacky world.

four

I skipped class all afternoon that day and went to the studio to see Ling.

I took the train to Huangyushan three times. The studio is on the hillside of Huangyushan. I waited for a long time at the foot of the mountain, and I didn't wait for the bus to go up the mountain. So I walked up the hill. Because of the rain. The road is muddy.

I forgot when it began to rain in this city. It seems that the long rainy season this winter has just begun. It seems that every winter comes, it will rain for a long time and there is no weight.

Ten days, even a month. The whole city seems to have been soaked in rain. Gradually moldy and decadent.

Even with an umbrella. Humid air will still wet your eyes. Can't tell whether it's tears or water vapor.

Ling's art major exam has reached the sprint stage. The children in the studio have to practice from 6 am to evening 10 before they can call it a day.

The studio is quiet. No one will gossip. No music. The relaxed atmosphere in August is long gone. More than 20 children practiced nervously and seriously at David under the light from different angles. I can't bear to go in and disturb them. So I stood outside the studio and waited.

Looking into the distance, you can see most of the West Lake. Mist lingered on the quiet lake. In the distance is a gray stone forest. The lights are flickering in the misty rain.

And the lake with blurred boundaries is like sleeping.

The studio rang. The children came out tired. Ling was a little surprised to see me. Come to my side, look at me, and then smile and say to me, why are you such a gangster like a literary youth?

I feel very distressed.

He still patted me on the shoulder with a smile in the way of comforting the child.

Eat with them. The food was delivered by a small restaurant at the foot of the mountain. The food is almost the same as before. Scrambled eggs with tomatoes. The grilled chicken with pickled fish can still be robbed by boys. The children in the studio are very kind. Leave a lot of dishes for me to eat. Put the vegetables in my bowl. Especially the monitor, let me stay here at night and leave his bed for me. He said he could share a bed with other roommates.

There are many strange faces on the dining table. Many familiar faces have disappeared. I suddenly remembered a face that had disappeared. My chest is getting stuffy. I remember the last postcard she sent me after she left the studio. She only wrote one sentence on it.

She said dreams are things that will never come true.

After a lively dinner. Walking into the corridor, Ling asked me why I suddenly thought of coming to the studio.

I said, I can't stand the atmosphere in the class. I feel sick as soon as I attend class. It is a waste of life there.

He smiled quietly. Then he suddenly got serious and told me to stick to it no matter what.

He added that students from the Academy of Fine Arts often come to the mountains to sketch. Every time I see them, I will say to myself that this life must be my own in the future.

Ling is always so determined. There is no doubt about the future.

Talked to him a lot about the children leaving. He said many people gave up or went to a better studio. But many people from other provinces came. The farthest classmate is from Shijiazhuang. Because of its local accent, it is often laughed at by people from other classes. Gradually autistic, no longer communicate with people. Besides painting, I just sleep.

There is also a boy in the oil painting class next to him, because he was born with hearing impairment. Wear a hearing aid eight times as big. His paintings are even more bizarre. It's abstract style. Boys often bully him and let him wash the painting plates when the water gets cold in winter. Treat him like a slave. He is treated as a joke at every class reunion. He couldn't hear clearly and thought it was some kind of joke. Laugh with them, too

He talked about the monitor again.

Often in the middle of the night, I can hear the dull sobs coming from the monitor's bed. Ling said he was homesick. His house

In Jiangxi. The family sold two plots of ancestral land to let him go to Hangzhou to study painting.

Ling said that everyone is struggling, but bravely persevering. You must do the same.

I'm not too much. Saw the lake.

five

I was so angry that my father grabbed my scalp and ran directly into the wall.

I once forced my mother to raise her trembling hand and split it in her face.

I once told my parents and the world that none of you can control me.

None of you can stop me from leaving. No one can stop me from pursuing the life I want.

I remembered the quarrel with my parents recently. They asked me to go to the University of Political Science and Law. My father said that as long as I was admitted to three courses, I would be asked to get into the hottest finance department. There is little room to refuse them. In this way, we quarreled again.

Late at night, I suddenly woke up. Suddenly I found my mother sitting beside my bed.

Asked in horror and doubt, what are you doing sitting here in the middle of the night? !

But I heard my mother's faint sobs.

We are just worried about you and want you to get better in the future.

I saw my mother's body trembling slightly in the dark. Bury your head in the quilt. Tears fell defenseless.

six

When I started my math class, I had a notebook in my left hand and a pen in my right hand to write.

I began to stuff all the CDs in the drawer into my schoolbag and take them home. Put the newly bought math problem set in.

I started running to the office. Take exercise books and ask stuck exercises like those good students who looked down on themselves before.

I told my mom I figured it out. But I ask you to give me one last choice. Let me go to an art university. If you don't get in. You must study hard and then be admitted to the University of Political Science and Law.

I finally saw the expressions of relief on their faces.

65438+February 29th. It's the day when art students sign up.

I put a deep tick on the box of "Art and Literature".

Then I turned my head and asked Shirley, you must have signed up for art, too.

She nodded. But I saw her eyes. Like the lake in this city.

seven

I began to make one last effort. After the self-study at 9: 50 pm, I still stayed in the classroom, took out a thick film art, put it on my knee and read with my head down.

With me and Shirley.

She will read aloud in front of the blackboard at the back of the classroom the poems that she wants to read at the beginning of her broadcasting and hosting major. Over and over again. The sweet voice became an echo in the dark and echoed in the classroom.

She practices every day until she goes back to the dormitory and can't talk.

I often help her make a cup of hot milk tea when she is extremely tired. Tell her. Please insist. We can do it.

I can see her firm nod every time.

I practiced until 1 1: 30 that night. I closed the door with her and went downstairs.

Just walked to the stairs. The street lamp in the corridor went out with a bang.

In the sudden darkness, Shirley grabbed my hand in horror. But it didn't come loose again. Hold on tighter and tighter. Hold on tighter and tighter.

I asked her fearfully, Shirley .......................................................................................................................................................................

She loosened her hand. Then he squatted down and sat on the steps.

Hold out your hand. But I touched the hot tears on her face.

Actually, I didn't sign up for art at all.

My mother can't let me go to an art university that has no way out in their eyes.

I feel liquid coming out of my eyes. Then slowly raise your hand and rub it to your eyes.

There are countless transparent and shining lakes sleeping in the darkness.

Those are our infinitely pure eyes, and those are our hearts.

The noise is hoarse.

Wenzhu

1.

I'm going to Beijing in February this year.

I bought the train ticket this afternoon 12. Father drove me to the railway station. Along the way, we all kept silent and said nothing. I put on my headphones, turned my head and watched me crawl under the viaduct.

Dim lights.

Think of the quarrel with them the other day. Think of my mother said to me, go to Beijing! You just want to play! You just can't stop! Suddenly I don't want to explain anything, so I just pretend.

Carelessly packed his luggage. But the depressing atmosphere seems to be suffocating. The air seems to have been sucked dry, and it is suffocating.

In fact, I know they are just worried and suspicious of me. No malice.

However, they probably don't know how sad I am. Even paralyzed.

Arriving at the railway station, my father walked silently in front. I followed him with a big bag on my back. I saw him suddenly turn his head and look at me with a heavy bag on his back.

As if to say something, but never speak.

Because of the heavy snow, a large number of migrant workers who return to the city or go home for the New Year are stranded at the railway station. The chaotic atmosphere full of this sense of danger makes people feel inexplicably nervous. My father treats me in a very serious tone.

Say, never talk to strangers. If someone gives you food, it is absolutely unacceptable. If they bother you, go ahead and don't look back.

Enter the waiting room with a ticket. Father was stopped outside the waiting room. I said to him, you go. He paused and looked a little hesitant. But still whisper to me, then I'll go first.

But after a long time, when I inadvertently looked out of the waiting room, I saw my father standing there all the time. Keep looking inside.

2.

Beijing is an open and indifferent city. After 7 pm, the shops began to close one after another. Unlike many big cities, it is a sleeping city.

Such a city that closes its eyes at midnight. Walking inside, there is always a sense of distance between people and between people and cities. It seems that it is really impossible to get close to this city. But this kind of

I can't get close, but I feel quiet and safe. I don't know why, but I like that sense of alienation.

It's just that the wind in those days was really strong enough to make people have some headaches.

Stay in the International Youth Hostel near the Lama Temple. 12 room. A room full of ghosts carrying big bags. Some look very cold, some are very enthusiastic, and will take the initiative to come and chat with me. They always do.

Go, the journey is like duckweed. Unstable. Whenever they say "Byebye" to me with dozens of kilograms of travel bags on their backs, they always feel a little lost in their hearts.

Get up at 5 am. Then take the subway line 5. Then take bus 367 to Beijing Film Academy. There are few people in the subway station in the morning. Cold wind often blows from the depths of the railway and blows it dry.

Hair. I chewed dry bread wrapped in a scarf and swallowed boiled water with difficulty.

I often wander around Beiying after exams. I happened to walk into Beijing Film Studio that day. There are tall poplars in it. Reaching into the northern sky. See a studio that looks like big warehouse. There are many jeeps parked outside, and there are crews shooting inside. I saw a large group of staff sitting around the light shield and the machine eating lunch boxes.

In fact, I have long had the idea of running with the crew, even if it is a walk-on.

Hehe, I wonder if you will laugh at me.

The most terrible thing is actually looking at the second interview list. Thousands of people crowded in front of a wall, waiting for the list to be published. I was squeezed in the crowd. I heard a girl in the back say, how cruel. Looking at the list posted bit by bit, if you don't get in, it means that your hopes are shattered bit by bit. Someone laughed at her. But I feel that at this time, everyone is afraid.

The staff posted the list bit by bit. The crowd behind me began to surge forward. I stood on tiptoe and groped along the admission ticket number.

When I saw the result, I clutched my pants tightly. I saw my admission ticket number.

3.

In youth travel, I met many children who came to Beijing to take an art test like me. There is no time to start. Just play with them in Beijing.

That day, we went to the 798 Art Factory outside the Fourth Ring Road. Before 798, it was a large factory built by the Soviet Union and Zhu Min countries when they helped China. It was abandoned later. Because those abandoned factories and warehouses are gradually used by artists. We saw many art exhibitions and video art exhibitions in 798. I have met many artists who are sincere and kind, but concentrate on creating distinctive personalities. And colorful graffiti all over the wall.

We all like it there. So a child said, let's rent a house in 798 in the future. Then open a studio, make magazines or design together to make money. And then we really broke up. Do art design. So-and-so writes manuscripts. The same is true of planning.

Before you know it, it will be dark. The broad sunset in the north gradually covered his face.

Hey. We don't know about childhood.

With the test results, many children went home with mixed feelings because they didn't enter two exams. In the end, it was just me and Shuishui until the last three attempts. The water is from Guangdong. She came to Beijing alone to start China Communication University. She spends five yuan on the Internet every day. Just to watch the weather forecast. She has never seen snow.

Most of the time, I was with her. We sat together on the stone bench in the center of Xidan Square, watching the gray crowd retreating like a flood around us. We went to Nanluoguxiang and bought many handmade books. We stood in the middle of Wudaokou Road and watched the Stone Forest rise around us. We silently took the subway from Dongzhimen to Xizhimen.

Such friendship is plain but profound.

The pub on the first floor of the hotel does not close at night. Shuishui and I often review all night on the red sofa and chat occasionally. Ghosts are whispering. I fell asleep before I knew it.

I don't know why, that night, we talked about death.

She said she was a freshman that year. The final exam is coming, and my mother suddenly calls. Said something happened to dad. Tell her to go to the hospital at once. But when I arrived at the hospital, my father had died.

It was her father's bus that overturned on the expressway. There are seven people in the car, only her father is missing.

Why? She said. Why is this unfair?

It suddenly occurred to me that I received a phone call from my father in the middle of the night. He told me that your mother couldn't sleep well these days. I was so worried about you. Let me give you the money in the card again. I told you not to keep it. Also, take all the clothes home to wash.

I hold my mobile phone, and my eyes are slightly red in the dark.

4.

That day, Shuishui told me excitedly that it would snow tomorrow afternoon. So that afternoon, I went to Houhai with her.

We sat on the cold stone bench by Houhai Lake wrapped in scarves and looked at Houhai, which was covered with a thick layer of ice. Someone is skating on the lake. People walk on the ice in twos and threes. I narrowed my eyes and looked up to see the vast sky in the north. The bright sunshine stung my eyes slightly.

I pushed away Shuishui's hand and said to her, Let's go.

She was silent. Then I saw her cross the railing and walk to the center of Houhai.

That day, she stood in the middle of the lake. My legs are cold and I keep stamping my feet. I wrapped a scarf around half my face to keep out the dry and cold wind in the north.

She suddenly said that that year, she touched her father's body. His body is cold. It's too difficult.

Life never seemed to exist. But she was reluctant.

5.

In the dim sunset, the city became a ship. Leave the mottled sea.

The hoarse voice quietly sank to the bottom of the lake.

6.

On the day he left Beijing, Heshui went to Houhai for the last time.

Along the way, she said nothing. I asked her if she was unhappy. She said, you are leaving tonight. I am really alone. I patted her on the shoulder with a smile, but my heart was inexplicably sad.

Let's go shopping, let's go shopping in tobacco bag diagonal street. I bought many shabby but cheap English CDs. There are also postcards of Hutong culture. When passing by a small Tibetan decoration shop, Shuishui insisted on going in.

All kinds of Tibetan ornaments are sold in shops. Warm and kind Tibetan girls came to say "Tashi Dele" and then introduced various Tibetan ornaments.

Shuishui is interested in a wish box. A small box made of Tibetan silver can be hung around your neck. However, there is a clever mechanism to open the box and put the scriptures in it. The Tibetan girl said, you can write your wishes on that piece of scripture paper. Get up the next morning, as long as you pray silently, your wish will come true.

Shuishui asked me if I wanted to buy one. I shook my head at her.

The Tibetan girl took her to the idol and prayed for her silently. She said, girl, God will touch your wish.

When I left, I asked Shuishui with a smile. Did you write in the scroll that you will be admitted to China Communication University?

She paused and whispered, yes.

We went to Beihai Park again. The ice on Beihai Lake began to melt, which was like the coldest day in Beijing. I shivered at the sight of the water. I put on a scarf and wrapped her naked neck tightly in the cold wind.

Did not visit the temples and buildings in the park. Just walk along the North Sea. As we approached the south exit, Shuishui suddenly said, Chen, can I take a picture of you? So I stopped.

That was the only photo of me in Beijing that winter. In the background, Beihai Park has melted half the lake. And the white tower. My face is a little red with cold. I half squinted my dry eyes, for fear that tears would fall defenseless.

At night, the water will take me to the railway station. Walk to the subway, I waved and said to her, you'd better go home. It's too cold outside. She was a little embarrassed, but she whispered, okay. You go in quickly.

There are few people in the subway station. I am carrying a heavy travelling bag and waiting for the coming train. My shoulder hurts. It suddenly occurred to me that in many late nights, I wanted to call them and tell them all the grievances, surprises and confusions along the way. You can pick up the phone, but you don't have the courage to press the button.

But I really have feelings for Beijing and the people I met in Beijing. I was sad and disappointed to leave.

But I know where I'm going. Just like I know why I want to go to Beijing to meet them. I don't know how many people will remember that after experiencing fatigue and boring growth, they are so persistent in getting close to their dreams. Fortunately, I have been insisting and chose a life without regrets.

7.

The end of March. There are still more than 70 days before the college entrance examination, and cherry blossoms are in full bloom in the school. Like a grand and unbeaten performance. The snow that hasn't snowed in Beijing has finally fallen.

I stood under the cherry tree and opened the package that Shuishui sent me.

When the first floor was opened, I was surprised to find a prayer box made of Tibetan silver bought by Shuishui in a Tibetan jewelry store. I groped here and turned on the small switch. Opened the scripture paper.

I'm surprised. Behind the strange Tibetan language is immature handwriting.

I hope the boy who went to Houhai with me will be happy forever.

There are petals falling slowly with the warm wind in March. Silently fell on the scripture paper.

I touched my pants without pockets and didn't know where to put my hands.