What is a "self-decorated girl"?

The origin of "women's self-decoration"

Self-grooming girls, born in the late Qing Dynasty, are a special group unique to the Pearl River Delta.

According to Shunde County Records, the silk industry in Shunde was developed at that time, and many female workers earned considerable income and were economically independent. They saw that some sisters suffered indignities in their husbands' families after marriage, and their status was low. They didn't want to be bound by this, preferring not to marry for life, so they gave birth to self-grooming girls. In other parts of the Pearl River Delta, the situation of girls' self-dressing is similar to that of Shunde.

But in the 1930s, the silk industry in the Pearl River Delta declined. Young women in this area heard that Nanyang earned a lot of money, so they went together. Many women have worked in Nanyang for many years without talking about marriage. When she was 50 or 60 years old, she bought sacrifices to worship heaven and earth and became a self-dressed woman. And they are the last self-decorated girls in China.

In the past, "self-grooming" had a specific ceremony. First of all, the villagers chose an auspicious day. On auspicious days, they invited the venerable uncles and aunts in the village to worship their ancestors, and then held a "comb bun" ceremony. Self-grooming girls tie their braids into a bun to show that they will never marry. On the day of the ceremony, there will be several tables of banquets, and friends and relatives will be invited to get together and show them to the public.

Once a self-grooming girl combs her braids, she can't go back on her word. If she has any misconduct in the future, she will be tolerated, tortured and beaten by the hard-working villagers, put in a pig cage and drowned. After death, their parents are not allowed to accept the body for burial. The self-dressed girl wrapped it in a straw mat and dug a hole to bury it. If there are no self-grooming girls in the village, they will be thrown into the river and go with the flow. After self-combing, women can stand on their own feet in society, go out to farm, do business or work.

According to custom, self-grooming girls can't die in their parents' homes or other relatives' homes, but can only be carried outside the village, so some self-grooming girls are forced to "keep the tomb".

"Keeping the tomb" means keeping the festival, which is also called "buying the door". There are two ways to "buy a door". One way is to marry an unmarried man. Before marriage, men and women draft an agreement. Generally speaking, the man also gives the woman a bride price, and the woman will never return to her husband's family after three days of marriage. However, the self-grooming woman must provide the husband's family with expenses for a long time in accordance with the provisions of the agreement, and the amount of expenses provided is generally not less than the bride price given by the man at the beginning. The other is to find a male deceased to marry, to be the nominal wife of the deceased, and to pay a sum of money to her husband's family for self-grooming.

Some people think that self-grooming women resist fate in such an extreme way. It is conceivable how humble the status of women in feudal society is, and most of them can't control their own destiny. There is a ballad that says, "Chickens, with crooked tails, it's hard to be a wife. I got up early to talk (late), and my tears haven't dried into the next room (kitchen). " This reflects the fate of women in feudal society.

Bing Yu Tang, located in Jun 'an Town, Shunde, is known as an important witness to the history of women's self-grooming in the Pearl River Delta region, recording the history and culture of this unique self-grooming female group. It is reported that at present, the last batch of self-grooming girls in China are all in their seventies and eighties. A few days ago, the reporter walked into Bingyutang and listened to the last girl who had washed herself telling their mental journey. Bingyutang has been closed for 50 years.

Every year on Tanabata, August 15th and Spring Festival, self-grooming girls gather here to worship their dead sisters and exhibit handicrafts. Ice Jade Hall does not refuse men to enter, but men can't stay here for the night.

There are fine raindrops floating in the sky, which converge into water drops on a blue tile, and then drop by drop along the tile edge, patting the cold concrete floor of the ice language hall and making a crisp sound.

These characters recorded the weather in Shunde on the 29th and 30th of the Gregorian calendar 1 1 month in 2002. In this weather, in the empty Kethleen Pavilion, the reporter interviewed the last girl who dressed herself in China.

Last year165438+129 October, after lunch, several grandmothers, Huang Yue, Huang Gu and Huang Ying (reporter's note: "self-grooming girl" is called "grandma" in Shunde), came to the ice language hall one after another, as if everyone had an appointment.

Huang Yue told reporters that as early as 1990s, the Ice Fish Hall was uninhabited. But the aunts who live nearby still come here to chat and play cards with their sisters every day.

Bingyutang was originally the residence of a self-grooming girl in Shatou Village, Jun 'an Town, Shunde, and was completed on 1950. But later, all the self-grooming girls returned to their families, and Bingyutang was no longer inhabited. So it became a clubhouse for self-grooming girls. Every year, on special days such as Qixi, August 15th and Spring Festival, they gather here to hold activities to worship their dead sisters and display their handicrafts for people to enjoy.

Some people say that Bing Yutang refuses to enter the outside world all the year round, especially men. Huang Yue amended this statement. She said that in fact, Bing Yutang does not refuse men to enter, but men can't spend the night here.

Entering from the north gate of Bingyutang, there is a room on the left, which is dedicated to Huang's ancestral tablet. The aunts said that the reason why the ancestral tablets were placed here was to facilitate outsiders to worship their ancestors here. So, it's not said that men can't come here. However, local men know that this is the residence of self-grooming women, so they generally don't come here. Self-grooming girls have memorial tablets.

All the memorial tablets of self-grooming women are placed in the obvious position of the ice language hall. The names of the dead are written on black paper, and the names of the living are written on white paper.

After 50 years, Bingyutang finally opened a closed "heart". With the consent of the self-grooming girl, the local government will gradually open the Kethleen Pavilion.

Ice language hall has two doors, the north gate and the east gate. The north gate is hidden in the middle of a narrow alley, and the east gate faces a cement road. Now there is a building on both sides of the East Gate, one side is a tall building, and the other side is a red brick wall with a height of 1, which encloses a piece of land, so the East Gate is also hidden.

Ice Jade Hall is surrounded by four walls, and the yard is full of flowers and plants. Bingyutang is a two-story building. On the first floor, there is a hall and shrine for grandmothers to meet, and there is also a kitchen where grandmothers used to cook and cook soup. The second floor is the aunts' bedroom. The bed where my aunts used to sleep has now been demolished, leaving only wooden floors and blue brick walls in the empty house, which is particularly deserted.

There are many gods enshrined in the Ice Jade Palace, including Guanyin, Jigong and Guandi. All the memorial tablets of self-combed women are placed in obvious positions, and the names of the dead are written on black paper, and the names of the living are written on white paper. Huang Yue said that there are only more than 20 girls in the village who can dress themselves, and there are more than a dozen girls in Singapore, only more than 30 girls who can dress themselves.

Kethleen Hall is covered with incense, which looks like mosquito-repellent incense. The difference is that the diameter of a incense is about 1 m, and a incense can burn 1 month. "Tower incense" becomes the shape of a pagoda when it is hung up. Under the hanging "tower incense", the names of pilgrims are still hung. In the future, property rights will be transferred to the village.

Self-grooming women collectively made a will for the transfer of property rights. They say it's ok to rebuild the Ice Jade Hall, but some things can't be moved and are still in charge.

In the past, self-grooming girls went to Nanyang to work instead of buying real estate. In order to have a place to support the elderly, the self-grooming girls decided to build a residence. 1949, overseas Chinese in Singapore set up a hometown association, and Shunde self-grooming girls paid for it. Through the association, she built an ice jade hall in her hometown of Shunde. 1950 completed in autumn.

According to the old custom, self-grooming girls can't die in the village, so the Ice Jade Hall must be built outside the village, which is still some distance from Shatou Village at that time.

At the time of preparation, Bingyutang established a foundation, and each member paid an annual membership fee of S $ 12. The fund's money is used for the daily expenses of Bingyutang. The fund is managed by the property owner, and there are three property owners in Bingyutang.

"If one day, the self-grooming girls are gone and the Bingyutang is left unattended, then its property rights will be handed over to the Shatou Village Welfare Committee." Huang Yue said. From June, 5438 to February, 2000, self-dressed women collectively made a will for the transfer of property rights.

Now the local government can't wait to open the Kethleen Pavilion and plan to rebuild it. Grandmothers say that reconstruction is possible, but some things can't be moved, such as self-grooming women's memorial tablets, or they are managed by them, and the government can't interfere.

Huang Yue said that the government had visited them, and the nearby ecological park also called them for a meeting, expressing the intention of cooperation. They want to turn the Ice Jade Hall into a scenic spot, which is integrated with the ecological park and open to tourists. The ecological park pays them a certain amount of remuneration, but the aunts disagree. Grandma said there was nothing to see. More importantly, the aunts have to manage the ice jade hall themselves, but they have no time and energy to look after it every day. If you take money, you will be responsible. However, if the management right is given to the ecological park, Bingyutang will lose its autonomy.

But the aunts still gave the local government a set of keys for the local government to show people around. Now people come every weekend. Pay the snakehead 180 Singapore dollars when leaving the country.

At that time, 30 cents could buy pork, a maid's monthly salary was SGD in 6 yuan, and SGD in 30 yuan could hire two workers.

Tourists don't care about the building of Bingyutang, because there is nothing special about it. What people are eager for is to find the little-known stories of self-grooming girls from this place where they once lived.

According to the aunts, as early as 100 years ago, Shunde women went across the ocean to work in Singapore and Malaysia. Because boys are preferred to girls, all the people who go out are women.

At that time, Huang Yue's family was not bad, but the local atmosphere was that women would rather work in Nanyang than stay, so in 1936, 12-year-old Huang Yue went to Singapore with her mother.

At that time, many people tried their best to find "water passengers" to help them leave the country. "Water passengers" are now called "snakeheads". At that time, Huang Ying had a cousin in Singapore. Because there was no money at home, she first entrusted a "water passenger" to bring Huang Ying to Singapore, and her cousin paid for it, and then her cousin deducted money from Huang Ying's later salary. Huang Gu was also sent to Singapore by a "water passenger", and Huang Gu's sister in Singapore paid S $ 180 for this.

180 What is the concept of S $? Huang Yue recalled that in 1936, she worked as a maid for a boss during her menstrual period, with a monthly salary of S $6 yuan. At that time, you could buy pork for 30 cents, and the cost of food and accommodation for 1 person 1 month was probably 3 yuan Singapore dollars. If you can earn 30 yuan a month, you can hire two workers at home. Nanyang vagrant personality closed

My mother cried when I left home. I didn't cry. I think Singapore is very interesting. When I returned to my hometown and left home, my mother didn't cry. I cried because I knew the pain of being alone outside.

Huang Ying has a very sad description of the life of girls dressed up in Nanyang.

"/kloc-When I was 0/2 years old, I went to Singapore. When I broke up with my mother at the ferry, my mother cried and could not bear to part with me. But I didn't cry, because I thought Singapore was very interesting. I went home once when I was in my thirties, and only stayed at home for two or three days before returning to Singapore. My mother didn't shed a tear when she sent me, because she was used to it and had a grandson. But this time I cried because I know the pain of being alone outside. "

Most of the self-grooming girls in Nanyang are maids (locals call them "Sister Niang"), so they eat and live in the boss's house. Others either become vendors or open small shops. These self-dressed girls usually rent a big house with many small rooms that can accommodate twenty or thirty people at the same time.

Before the age of 24, Huang Yue lived with other sisters. She said that the sisters are very United and lively together. But being a maid is hard. Only the first and fifteenth days of this month are closed. Only in this way can sisters be together.

The maid can't talk to the boss on an equal footing, and the long-term solitude has formed the self-enclosed character of the self-dressed girl. Huang He said: "I basically have no friends in Malaysia because I am used to being alone and don't like to communicate with others."

The Singapore government has also given them some treatment, such as Singapore citizenship and corresponding benefits. Grandmothers said that in Singapore, women without children can rent a very cheap house, and S $ 10 can rent a one-bedroom apartment in 1. Old people without children are provided with free housing by the government. Usually there are clubs to help them cook, and they can eat a meal for 50 cents. If the elderly are hospitalized, the medical expenses and bed fees are only 65438+ 0.4 of the normal price.

"Unfortunately, we have no relatives in Singapore. Moreover, there are regulations in Singapore that only two or four people can live in a house. Therefore, during the day, everyone chats and plays cards. At night, the old people are very lonely. " Bing Huang said, "We also heard that some old people died at home, and no one knew, so the aunts all chose to return to China."

Huang Yue told reporters that now 80% of women who have decorated themselves have returned to China. About a dozen people didn't come back because they had no relatives in the village.

Self-grooming girls who came back in their early years can't die in the village according to the old custom, but can only live in Bingyutang. In the sixties and seventies of last century, there were many self-dressed girls living in Bingyutang, and there were more than 30 at most. With the changes of the times, the rule that self-grooming girls can't die in the village has gradually disappeared, and they can go back to their relatives' homes. In the twilight, I returned to my hometown alone.

Because we have been holding the idea of returning to nature, no one has bought a property. When Bing Huang returned to his hometown, he almost finished all his luggage with his hands.

Bing Huang returned to his hometown. Because she decided not to go back, Huang Bing took almost all her belongings back with both hands. She said there was an electric fan left, which was too heavy.

Huang Ying said that before the age of 40, she didn't save a penny, and all the money was sent home. After the age of 40, I saved my own money, because at this time, she no longer needed to send money at home.

Huang Yue said that it used to be easy to buy a house in Singapore, but girls who dressed themselves always wanted to return to their roots, so they didn't buy real estate.

China's old adage is: A drop of water pays off, while a spring pays off. Self-grooming girls have been quietly contributing to their families (strictly speaking, their brothers' or younger brothers' families) for decades, so when they return home, they are naturally respected by their families.

Today, Huang Ying lives with her brother's grandson. Huang Ying said that her nephew was very kind to himself. But Huang Ying, who is used to living alone, still cooks by herself. She said that a person is free to eat, and he can eat whatever he wants and whenever he wants.

The shrewd Huang Gu paved the way for herself as early as 30 years ago. While sending money to her brother, Huang Gu asked him to build a house for her so that she could live in her hometown in the future. Huang Gu now lives in her own house, the yard is full of flowers and plants, and there is a separate hall, kitchen, bathroom and bedroom. The house is as neat as Huang Gu's neat appearance. "Getting married is a very shy thing."

Huang Gu said that in Jun 'an, Shunde, it is very common for women not to get married, and the majority are unmarried. If you get married, the other sisters will ignore you.

Self-dressing means that you can't get married, and you need someone else's children to take care of you when you are old. Why do women who decorate themselves make such choices?

Huang Yue said that at that time, some people worried that their husbands would be beaten and scolded, and they simply did not get married; Some people think that it is not free to take care of children after marriage; Some people think that not getting married is very free and independent, and many sisters are very happy and rich, and do not depend on anyone; There are also brothers and sisters at home. If a sister-in-law wants to get married, and you don't have the right person, then you must comb yourself well, otherwise other sisters-in-law can't get married.

Huang Gu's reason for not getting married is simple: it is common for women not to get married in Jun 'an, Shunde. If women buy doorways and men refuse, women will commit suicide. So parents generally don't interfere with their daughters' decisions. In the past, only a few people got married and most of them were unmarried. If you get married, the other sisters will ignore you. "No woman named Huang here is married. Getting married is a very shy thing. "

Huang He said that she left home at 22 and combed her hair at 58. Her parents died young, and there are two younger brothers and 1 sister at home. Before her parents died, she was told to take good care of her brother. Therefore, in order to take care of her brother wholeheartedly, she and her sister are not married.

Yellow crane is talking about freedom, that is, you can buy whatever you want to eat and wear, and you can watch movies if you want. But in fact, the life of grandmothers is very simple.

Huang Ying said that the aunts were all pursued when they were young, but they also combed themselves, so they kept silent and ignored them. After a long time, the man they are after will not come. "But they don't hate men." Huang Ying said. Some people get married after grooming themselves.

In the past, after a self-dressed girl got married, her own sisters would no longer associate with her. Now that I am old, my sisters are back to normal. But the aunts are obviously taboo to talk about this.

In the garden to the east of Bingyutang, there is a tree with a strange shape, which is tens of meters high. Its straight trunk goes straight into the sky until the crown of the tree. Huang Ying said this kind of tree is called Aralia pinnata. In the past, there were two trees, which were planted by self-combing women, meaning "I will never marry." But now a tree has fallen for unknown reasons. Huang Ying said that it may be because some sisters "defected".

How many self-dressed girls have defected? Grandmothers don't say much. In the past, when a self-grooming girl got married, she would be rejected by other sisters, and her sisters would not meet.

But now that I am old, my aunts are living in peace, and those who are married have normal contacts with other sisters, chatting and playing mahjong together. But in front of outsiders, aunts are obviously taboo to talk about these things.

At the age of 24, Huang Yue married a Singaporean Chinese and later gave birth to a daughter. Now her grandson has gone to college. Huang Yue claimed that she didn't comb her hair, but we still saw Huang Yue's name on the memorial tablet of the self-grooming girl in Bingyutang. We know from the side that Huang Yue combed himself at the age of 1 1. Because Huang Yue concealed the truth herself, we can't understand the reason why she combs her hair, how to fall in love and get married after combing her hair.

(The characters in the text are all pseudonyms) News background: Sorrow, self-combing.

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A girl who dresses herself-

Self-grooming girls, born in the late Qing Dynasty, are a special group unique to the Pearl River Delta.

Bing Yu Tang, located in Jun 'an Town, Shunde, is known as an important witness to the history of women's self-grooming in the Pearl River Delta region, recording the history and culture of this unique self-grooming female group. It is reported that at present, the last batch of self-grooming girls in China are all in their seventies and eighties.

According to Shunde County Records, the silk industry in Shunde was developed at that time, and many female workers earned considerable income and were economically independent. They saw that some sisters suffered indignities in their husbands' families after marriage, and their status was low. They didn't want to be bound by this, preferring not to marry for life, so they gave birth to self-grooming girls. In other parts of the Pearl River Delta, the situation of girls' self-dressing is similar to that of Shunde.

But in the 1930s, the silk industry in the Pearl River Delta declined. Young women in this area heard that Nanyang earned a lot of money, so they went together. Many women have worked in Nanyang for many years without talking about marriage. When she was 50 or 60 years old, she bought sacrifices to worship heaven and earth and became a self-dressed woman. And they are the last self-decorated girls in China.

In the past, "self-grooming" had a specific ceremony. First of all, the villagers chose an auspicious day. On auspicious days, they invited the venerable uncles and aunts in the village to worship their ancestors, and then held a "comb bun" ceremony. Self-grooming girls tie their braids into a bun to show that they will never marry. On the day of the ceremony, there will be several tables of banquets, and friends and relatives will be invited to get together and show them to the public.

Once a self-grooming girl combs her braids, she can't go back on her word. If she has any misconduct in the future, she will be tolerated, tortured and beaten by the hard-working villagers, put in a pig cage and drowned. After death, their parents are not allowed to accept the body for burial. The self-dressed girl wrapped it in a straw mat and dug a hole to bury it. If there are no self-grooming girls in the village, they will be thrown into the river and go with the flow. After self-combing, women can stand on their own feet in society, go out to farm, do business or work.

According to custom, self-grooming girls can't die in their parents' homes or other relatives' homes, but can only be carried outside the village, so some self-grooming girls are forced to "keep the tomb".

"Keeping the tomb" means keeping the festival, which is also called "buying the door". There are two ways to "buy a door". One way is to marry an unmarried man. Before marriage, men and women draft an agreement. Generally speaking, the man also gives the woman a bride price, and the woman will never return to her husband's family after three days of marriage. However, the self-grooming woman must provide the husband's family with expenses for a long time in accordance with the provisions of the agreement, and the amount of expenses provided is generally not less than the bride price given by the man at the beginning. The other is to find a male deceased to marry, to be the nominal wife of the deceased, and to pay a sum of money to her husband's family for self-grooming.

Some people think that self-grooming women resist fate in such an extreme way. It is conceivable how humble the status of women in feudal society is, and most of them can't control their own destiny. There is a ballad that says, "Chickens, with crooked tails, are hard to be wives. He got up early and spoke (late), but his tears didn't dry into the next room (kitchen). " This reflects the fate of women in feudal society.

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The custom of "guarding the tomb" of self-grooming women

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The old age of a self-grooming girl is very tragic. If they don't work hard to accumulate some hard-earned money and buy a house with other sisters as an aunt's house, there is no place to die. According to custom, self-grooming girls can't die at their parents' home or other relatives' home, but can only be carried outside the village. After death, only self-grooming girls go to the grave, so some self-grooming girls are forced to "guard the grave."

"Guarding the tomb" is also called "buying a door", that is, self-grooming women find a dead man to marry and be the nominal wife of the dead man so that they can die of old age in the future. The self-grooming girl has to pay a sum of money to her husband's family to "buy a door". "Guarding the tomb" means observing the festival, and there are two forms of "guarding the tomb" and "guarding the spirit". "Tomb White Qing" is also called "Marrying God's Master Card", that is, if there is a dead man in a family, whether it is a boy or an adult, as long as the parents of the deceased agree, the self-grooming girl can pay for the wife, and after buying it, the ceremony of "tapping the door" and "getting started" will be held. The so-called "slapping the door" means that the self-grooming girl comes to her husband's house as a daughter-in-law. The husband's house closes the door first, and the self-grooming girl has to "slap the door". Grandma asks all kinds of embarrassing questions in the house, such as "My family is poor, can I keep it?" "Don't go back on your word in the future?" Wait, the girl who dresses herself must answer grandma's satisfaction before opening the door. Even a girl who dresses herself will be accepted as the daughter-in-law of this family when she enters the door. In the future, she will always pay her husband's family. Aunt Weng is dead. She is going to the funeral. Another form is called "making a corpse". That is, a man dies without being buried, a self-grooming woman marries the "wife" of the deceased, and she must wear mourning clothes and wake for the funeral. Later, if Weng Gu was slightly dissatisfied, she could be kicked out of the house and not recognized as a daughter-in-law.

The door bought by the self-grooming woman "guarding the tomb" can be counted as the man in the family. Poor self-grooming girl, tortured by spirit and tired body, got a lifeless "doorway".