A case study on how to improve the self-discipline of large-class children

Children with poor laws are free and loose, unable to control their emotions, which will arouse the resentment of teachers in class and cause many problems in life. Children with strong self-discipline will be very organized and helpful to people. Here are two examples, let's take a look!

Case 1

On one occasion, Zhang Ming and his mother crossed the road together, and the red light was on, but no vehicles passed by at that time. So my mother quickly took Zhang Ming's hand and said, "There is no car anyway. Let's go quickly. "

Zhang Ming subconsciously said to his mother, "Mom, where is the red light!" " "

Mother said impatiently, "Why bother? Go! "

So I pulled Zhang Ming up and ran the red light to cross the road.

From then on, my mother found that Zhang Ming also learned to be free and loose at home, without self-discipline. When she realized that her poor education had affected her children, she had already regretted it.

Examples speak louder than words. In the process of appreciating children, parents should not only educate their children to be self-disciplined, but also set an example. Therefore, appreciating children is not a simple sentence, but from words to actions, wholeheartedly appreciating and encouraging children.

In order to encourage children to be strict and self-disciplined, when making rules and plans, parents can ask their children for advice and complete them with him. Instead of forcing children to obey their parents' wishes.

Case 2

After the summer vacation, Wang Gang should be in the fourth grade. In this summer vacation, he not only finished the homework of the day as planned, but also took part in the swimming class in the Children's Palace and learned to swim. What makes him so self-disciplined?

It turned out that since Wang Gang was three or four years old, his mother encouraged him to wash handkerchiefs and other small things. At first, Wang Gang couldn't wash well and spilled water all over the floor, but his mother didn't blame him at all and praised him for "doing well!" " "The harder Wang Gang works, the more energetic he is. He not only learned to wash handkerchiefs quickly, but also rushed to do everything he could in the future.

Since primary school, my father has worked with him to make family rules. For example, Wang Gang is required to do his homework first when he comes home from school, and watch TV no more than 1 hour every day, and the things of the day are completed on the same day. Ask dad not to smoke at home and wash dishes every day. These rules were made by Dad and Wang Gang through consultation, and both parties must sign them. Whoever violates these regulations will be punished.

Wang Gang thinks this is very democratic, and everyone acts according to the system, which is fair and reasonable, so he is willing to accept it. Sometimes my father can't help smoking at home, and Wang Gang will educate my father to obey the family rules.

Later, his father encouraged him to arrange his own time to do homework and play. When he tells his father his plan, his father will say, "Your plan is really good, just follow it!" " "

In this way, Wang Gang became more and more self-disciplined in the appreciation of his parents.

Without self-discipline, there will be no success.

Making family rules with children not only reflects the father's appreciation and respect for children, but also effectively encourages and cultivates children's sense of self-discipline and responsibility, which can be described as killing two birds with one stone.

Nowadays, parents often take some wrong ways in the process of educating their children. Some parents "take care" of many things for their children, sometimes because they are worried that their children are too young to do it, and sometimes to let them study with peace of mind. In this way, children may feel very enjoyable and happy, but from another perspective, parents will only make their children lazy.

In addition, the "Laozi" family rule that parents have the final say in everything and children are not allowed to express their opinions is out of date. In the new era, making family rules fairly and reasonably can better motivate children to be strict and self-disciplined.

Appreciation and encouragement play an important role in cultivating children's self-discipline ability. Parents should not force their children to do anything because they want to appreciate them, but should encourage them to do it voluntarily. Children will not only forget what their parents forced them to do, but also have rebellious psychology; And if they do it voluntarily, the effect will naturally be much better.

For example, if you ask your child to do something, he may say "do it later", but after a long time, he has no intention of doing it himself. At this time, out of love for their children, parents simply finished it for their children. Such indulgence will make children develop the habit of being lazy and having no concept of time. The correct way is to ask the child how long to "wait", let him clearly say a time, and then tell him: "I mean it." Instead of saying "wait a minute", being too tolerant or "go at once!" If you force it like this.

When a child develops the habit of self-discipline from an early age, he can overcome many bad hobbies, such as watching TV and playing video games without restraint. When he knows how to restrain himself, he can grasp the discretion. Therefore, in the process of appreciating children, we should always pay attention to cultivating their self-discipline ability. For things that children can manage well, parents can teach more methods, respect their wishes and appreciate their achievements. Slowly, children will know how to be responsible for their own affairs, thus naturally taking this as a habit.

When you want children to consciously abide by some rules and regulations, don't just talk about it verbally, but set an example and encourage children to abide by the rules with practical actions. You can say, "Come on, do it like mom."

When making rules for children at ordinary times, seek their opinions and make some rules for yourself, so that children feel fair and reasonable, so as to urge children to abide by the rules. You can say, "Come on, let's talk about it."

Cultivation of children's early self-discipline ability

The Guiding Outline of Kindergarten Education (for Trial Implementation) clearly points out that teachers should "guide children to know, experience and understand basic social behavior norms in various ways, and learn to be self-disciplined and respect others". So, how to cultivate children's self-discipline ability?

The establishment of rule consciousness

Rules are established and refined from daily life. Therefore, in daily life, we should consciously tell our children all kinds of rules, that is, make sense, starting with what children are most familiar with. For example: garbage should be thrown into the trash can, not littered; Look at the traffic lights when crossing the road; You can take your own things, but don't touch other people's things; Drink water from your own cup and wipe your hands with your own towel; Wash your hands before and after meals ... once the rules are established, there can be no exceptions. If you violate them, you will be punished. Children will learn to restrain themselves in order to please their parents and teachers or escape punishment. Self-discipline consciousness is gradually formed in this repeated process.

Of course, in this process, the rules formulated and implemented by teachers and parents should consider the actual needs and understanding of children in content and way, and critically examine the existing rules from the perspective of children, which is conducive to the establishment of children's awareness of rules.

Delay the satisfaction of demand and cultivate the ability to resist temptation and desire.

When children are very young, they are totally dependent on their parents' help. When they are hungry and thirsty, they often can't wait to express their demands, cry loudly and express their need for breastfeeding. But after half a year old, parents should explain to their children: the milk has just been made, just wait a minute. Don't think they don't understand. If they listen too much, they will understand. If the child cries, let her cry for a few minutes, don't worry too much.

Psychologist Mitchell began to study the children in the kindergarten affiliated to Stanford University in the 1960s, and conducted a famous "growth tracking experiment": 30 4-year-old children sat in the classroom with a piece of candy in front of each child. The teacher told them, "after I leave, everyone can eat candy, but if someone wants to eat it when I come back, they will get another candy." Children's performances are varied: some enjoyed candy almost immediately when the teacher left the classroom, while others bravely defeated themselves with some simple and practical skills: covering their eyes and pretending to sleep, taking out a favorite book to read ... and finally getting two pieces of candy in return. After about 12 years, the social and emotional differences between these children have become very obvious. The experimental results show that children who can insist on waiting for the teacher to come back are obviously better than those who eat sugar as soon as the teacher leaves.

When children grow up, especially when they can express their own requirements in words, parents should consciously cultivate them, and don't always satisfy their children's wishes at the first time, so their desires will expand. Let children learn to wait and control their emotions and behaviors.

Create a good and positive environment

The material shortage of the environment means that people living in it can't enjoy adequate activities and communication opportunities. If the materials in a classroom are very simple and limited, it is easy for children to conflict with tools and materials in the process of operation; No matter how many rules, no matter how many compulsory collective actions, disciplinary problems are inevitable. Children will try their best to take advantage of loopholes, and teachers will be tired of controlling young children, resulting in two kinds of extreme children: one is obedient children who are obedient to Nuo Nuo and have no opinions, and the other is aggressive and hostile children who can't sit still. Neither of these children is the purpose of our education.

The atmosphere of tolerance, harmony and acceptance is conducive to the development of our good self-awareness and personality; And this kind of good self-awareness and personality will in turn urge them to form a good understanding and behavior of society and communicate with the outside world more actively and confidently.

Protect children's sense of shame and guilt.

When a person realizes that he has done something wrong, he will feel guilty, which will make children have a strong desire for self-improvement and self-discipline. Children will consciously check their behavior according to the requirements of adults, which is an important means of self-education. After the child realizes that he has done something wrong, the first thing parents and teachers should do is to help the child recover his sense of shame with appropriate methods.

For example, when her mother was cooking, five-year-old MengMeng was happily painting on the snow-white wall with an oil pastel, completely ignoring her frightened expression when she opened the door. Mother shouted, "You can't draw!" MengMeng looked up and saw her mother's expression, and stood on the spot. Tears welled up in MengMeng's eyes when she realized what she had done wrong. At this moment, her mother walked up to MengMeng, gently picked her up and said, "MengMeng, this is our newly renovated home. Look, the white wall is dirty. What can we do? " Let's start brushing together. "Hearing this, MengMeng's tearful eyes re-released the light of hope and hurried to get a bucket and a brush. MengMeng worked very hard while painting the wall with her mother. ...

Therefore, parents and teachers should pay attention to the legitimate existence of children's guilt and protect their sense of shame. Only in this way can children's sense of self-discipline be generated and strengthened.

How to cultivate children's self-discipline ability

In life, many things can only be done by children themselves. At this time, self-discipline is particularly important. Self-discipline can keep them focused, stick to everything in life and never relax. Without self-discipline, they are likely to flinch when they encounter some difficulties and want to give up, so it is impossible to succeed.

Therefore, don't neglect the cultivation of children's self-discipline just because they are young. You can't control the children now, and you can't be serious about doing things in the future. Encourage children more. When we find that children are slack and tired and don't want to stick to themselves, we should encourage them and tell them:

"It's so close, why not do it well?"

"Hold on a little longer, you can do it well."

With such encouragement and supervision, children will regain their spirits and return to their own careers. Let children realize the importance of doing something seriously.

Children may sometimes feel that many things don't need to be so careful, just handle them casually. For example, it is difficult for them to understand why a word has to be written many times and why a question has to be calculated repeatedly. At this time, we should let them know that everything in life is meaningful. This is to deepen their memory, so that they will not forget and make mistakes in the future. For example, some children find it too much trouble to write after a few strokes and don't want to write well. Even if there is, I can handle it. It's a mess. At this time, we should tell them: "Only by writing repeatedly can we be proficient and won't make mistakes in the future." Children will get serious when they understand the truth.

What children can do by themselves, we should not do for them.

If once we do it for them, children will feel that others will help them do everything they can't, even if they don't do it themselves, miracles will happen. If this goes on, they will become more and more lazy and unwilling to find their own way. The more difficult it is, the more we should let the children do it themselves. There are many things that children can do in life, such as washing handkerchiefs and packing things. We shouldn't worry when we find that they are not doing well. We should give them some time, but they can't. We will patiently tell them how to do it, let them do it independently, let them get inspiration from such trivial things and accumulate successful experience.

We should keep calm when the child loses his temper.

Sometimes, children may get emotional and even cry and make trouble because they don't do things well. Don't go backwards easily at this time. Children are too young to cry as a magic weapon. At this time, you should calm down, don't blame your child, and find out the reason with your child. When children see our attitude, they will be influenced, learn to control themselves and devote themselves to their own affairs. When children can control themselves, no matter what they do or what difficulties they encounter, what they think of is not to escape, but to find ways to solve them, so that we can see a self-controlled and patient child, so that we can see their success step by step.

How to cultivate children's self-discipline

There is a famous psychological study: researchers give some four-year-old children an apple each, and then tell them that if you can bear not to eat this apple, you will get another one as a reward later. When the researcher is away, some children can't help eating, and some children can't help eating. A few years later, the experimenter made a follow-up survey of these grown-up children, and found that children who can tolerate not eating, whether at work or in other aspects, have higher grades and higher emotional intelligence, but those who can't tolerate and restrain themselves, their life fate is not so optimistic.

This study shows the importance of self-discipline for a child: self-discipline will determine whether a child's studies and even his life are successful and happy.

China's traditional culture values patience and restraint. For example, the word "forbearance" and "forbearance" sounds a bit scary, but it actually emphasizes restraining one's bad desires. Being able to consciously control one's desires is a major feature of ancient gentlemen. Traditional parents in China attach great importance to the "law", that is, they set rules and strict requirements for their children.

Encourage impulse, encourage publicity, and encourage a person to listen to his intuition, impulse and desire. American education advocates this kind of behavior of following one's feelings and doing what one wants, which is often unpredictable. With the spread of western educational ideas in China, some parents now go to the other extreme and only emphasize "self". Blindly give children autonomy and freedom, stocking, thinking that as long as let nature take its course, children will grow up well.

In fact, it is not good to be too strict and too loose with children. Only by grasping it properly can children form good self-discipline ability. So, how to cultivate children's self-discipline ability? Psychologists believe that letting children form the good habit of obeying rules, learning to take responsibility by themselves and planning things in an orderly way can help children form good self-discipline ability.

1, let children learn to be responsible for themselves.

"My baby is not willing to help clean up the toys scattered all over the place during the activity." "The child asked me to urge him every day before he was willing to finish his homework." "My child forgot to bring a pencil case in class. When he came back, he blamed me for not helping him pack his schoolbag." ... these are all manifestations of the baby's lack of responsibility. When mom came back from a busy day, it was hard for her to face a series of bad habits of her children. There is nothing I can do about the child's persistent attitude.

If a child has no sense of responsibility, he will not be responsible for anyone or anything. If you encounter any mistakes in the future, you will always blame your parents or others. Find excuses and reasons to help yourself. At the same time, a child who lacks sense of responsibility will become passive and procrastinating. It will have an impact on future life and study.

Whose fault is this? In other words, are children born irresponsible? No, children's sense of responsibility can be shaped. If parents don't do everything themselves, make decisions for their children, let them take responsibility and educate them accordingly. It is difficult for children to form the bad habit of lack of responsibility.

How to let children learn to take responsibility? Start with small things, start with small things in children's daily lives.

For example, after the child finishes his homework, let him tidy his desk, help clean up the dishes and chopsticks after eating, and clean the dirty floor at home with a mop. As the saying goes, "Don't do it with kindness and smallness." Children do more of these things, and their sense of responsibility is naturally cultivated. Parents can also appropriately let their children taste the bitter fruit of irresponsibility. If a child is punished by natural consequences again and again, he will naturally be vigilant and will not be sloppy next time.

2. Get into the habit of obeying the rules.

Yao Yao plays flying chess with his father. Yao Yao is eager to win and doesn't play by the rules of the game. Yao Yao's father, who has always loved Yao Yao, is not allowed to do so this time. He firmly told Yao Yao that the game would not change because of her alone. Yao Yao wants to win, she must use her head. At first, Yao Yao felt unhappy because of his father's resolute attitude, and even used crying to make his father change the rules of the game. But dad didn't buy it and still stuck to his principles. Finally, Yao Yao had to compromise and honestly abide by the rules of the game to play.

Indeed, there are many only children now, and most of them are "little emperors" and "little princesses". Parents habitually turn around their children, and the children can do whatever they want. As a result, when I went to kindergarten, I found that my children brought their family habits to kindergarten and did not follow the rules of kindergarten, such as grabbing toys with other children, throwing things around, not listening to the teacher's arrangement, dozing off in class and not completing homework according to regulations. In this way, children will not only become "problem of juvenile" in the eyes of teachers, but also bring disadvantages to their future growth.

So, how to educate children to obey the rules?

Establishing reasonable constraints and restrictions at home is an important beginning to manage children well. In the process of implementation, family members should act in unison as much as possible to maintain fairness. Don't let emotions, weather, etc. Become an excuse for parents to violate the rules; When you want to strengthen restraint, avoid using threats, especially some unrealistic threats, and children will soon think that you won't do that at all.

Of course, if the child's abnormal behavior is really excusable, it can still be handled flexibly. Parents can relax and let their children know that you know how they feel, but that doesn't mean giving in or accepting their behavior.

3. Orderly planning

A child without organization and plan will work harder than his peers on the road to success. Therefore, parents should let their children develop the habit of doing things in an orderly way.

First of all, let children learn to arrange their time reasonably.

Help your child make a timetable. Let him decide when to get up, what to do first after getting up, what to do after breakfast, when to finish his homework and so on. At first, children will have difficulties, and parents can relax appropriately. Too much success will only make children lose patience quickly. Even if the child only completes part of the timetable, parents should encourage the child to stick to it with confidence.

Secondly, let children learn to take care of their daily necessities.

Some children are used to being arranged by their parents to take care of their daily necessities, such as throwing brushes on the table after painting. This will not only cause children to habitually rely on their parents, but also form a bad habit of forgetting things.

Therefore, mothers should educate their children to organize their belongings in an orderly way. First, the feeling of packing for children. If they are going to school tomorrow, their mother can tell them to pack up their schoolbags before going to bed tonight and check whether they have lost anything, so as not to be flustered and tidy up badly the next morning. Only by establishing this awareness, in the later life, children can consciously plan what to do before doing things. In this way, children will do things in an orderly way and will not be confused when they encounter difficulties.

How to set rules for children with poor self-discipline

When children's self-discipline is poor, our parents always use mandatory commands such as "no" and "no" repeatedly, but they don't know that children will have negative emotions. Over time, they will be indifferent to their parents' words and even have a tendency to resist psychologically.

Because he is still young, in fact, this so-called child's poor self-discipline is related to the characteristics of his physical and mental development. For example, a child can't complete a task required by his parents, which may be because his muscle movement lacks the ability to coordinate actions. When children's coordination of these large and small muscle movements is improved, their self-control ability will also be improved.

Curiosity made it.

Children like to interfere with others and are easily attracted to other things. In fact, it is a manifestation of children's strong imitation ability and curiosity. Parents should understand the characteristics of children's psychological development, respect children's psychological characteristics of imitation and curiosity, and fully provide children with imitation and novel objects.

Let children know more about things, encourage them to be small teachers, let children enjoy the constantly updated cognitive information and emotional information, and get the satisfaction of success. Only in this way can parents better carry out family education, and it is also more conducive to children to develop a good sense of order in their study and life, thus gradually cultivating children's autonomy and self-discipline.

Crying became a magic weapon.

When parents don't meet their children's requirements, children often make a scene, which shows that parents usually don't pay attention to the cultivation of their emotional self-control, and children don't know how to control their emotions and regard crying as a magic weapon. Therefore, parents should pay attention to their children's emotional problems in daily life and cultivate their emotional self-control.

Do you want rules?

Many parents don't pay attention to the awareness of setting rules for their children. Even if the rules are made, they only stay in the child's physiology and have not yet risen to the rules of the child's behavior and morality. This is also one of the reasons why children's self-discipline is weak.

Children's initial self-control begins with obeying the rules under the influence of external discipline and adult language. Therefore, parents should make some basic rules of diet, work and rest, behavior and morality for their children at home.

Where is the responsibility?

Responsibility is the foundation of self-discipline. In modern family life, children generally lack the cultivation of sense of responsibility, and some children can do housework arranged by adults. Even if the child completes the task, parents will think that this is the child's impulsive and playful, and will not pay attention. Some negative comments from parents will also make children lose self-confidence and can't persist, which will lead to a weak sense of task and a weak sense of responsibility.