Please answer the translation notes of "Remembering the Imperial Capital with Thin Pillows and Cool Days"!

[Remembering the Imperial Capital] (Liu Yong)

The thin pillow is cold, and it feels like parting at first. It's colder to get up and sleep. After all, I can't sleep, and the night is as long as years.

I also want to wait, but I want to collect (1). I have plans to fight for resistance again. Ten thousand kinds of thoughts, many solutions, only loneliness and fatigue. This is my life, and I have shed a thousand tears for you.

Note (1); A horse's reins

Lying alone in the curtain with a thin quilt on a small pillow. The cool weather touched the parting. Sleepless, counting louder I lay down several times and sat up again, but I couldn't sleep anyway. It looks like Sanqiu at night.

I also thought about turning around and going back, but I couldn't do it after I set foot on the journey. One thousand ways, one thousand ways, are blocked, bored, can only endure. Even if I never forget you, I will never forget you, and I can't repay you. The depths of the ocean are as upright as mountains.