Yuxi weather hongta

Child: "Dad, what is' the disparity among the people'?"

Father: "That was used to describe the sufferings of the poor in the old society. Many widows can't live and have to cantilever. "

Mother: "No! Male * *' and' widowed' are widows in nature, meaning ordinary people.

Widows are very different. "

How serious is the illness?

The nurse is very ill. Did she have a heart reaction this morning? "Oh, great! medical treatment

Student, "said the beautiful nurse," he proposed to me twice. "

catch cold

The weather has changed strangely recently. Many people have caught a cold, and I am no exception. paddle one's own canoe

Anti-virus, but time doesn't allow, but ... it's fucking serious.

I can't take it anymore. One Saturday afternoon, I went to see a doctor. The doctor looked at it for a long time, sighed and said, "fortunately, from today's point of view, if it comes, it must be prepared tomorrow." ......

Come back one day. "

......$#%!

Warlords like to watch Peking Opera. On this day, Guan Gong, his most admired historical figure, appeared. Warlords look for the lost street pavilion (one of Guan Gong's protagonists). The adjutant is reporting in front of the marshal.

Lost the battle. Marshal's anger shows that he is afraid that all actors will stand on the stage and pay attention to this moment.

Junzi quickly said, "Don't worry, Guan Yu, the others stand at attention.

attentive

The shark looked at a sail and said, "it's very thoughtful of you to be so hospitable." Breakfast and other parts

And napkins. "

circulate

Lao Wang was resting under a tree, and Lao Li came up to him and said, "Hey, why don't you cut down trees on the mountain?"

Firewood? "Lao Wang said," Do you make firewood? " Lao Li said.

Sell money. You can buy a donkey with the money you sell, and you can also sell firewood from house to house along the family to buy cards.

You earn money from cars, and then you buy a timber factory to sell timber, and you can travel freely by buying more trucks, so you can earn a lot of money. "Lao Wang

Q: "Are you rich?" Lao Li replied, "I made a fortune and enjoyed it."

"Lao Wang said. : "What do you think I am doing now? "

circulate

Lao Wang was resting under a tree, and Lao Li came up to him and said, "Hey, why don't you go up the mountain to cut wood?"

Lao Wang said, "firewood?" "

Lao Li said, "It's easy to sell money. With the money you sell, you can buy a donkey and sell firewood houses along the street to make money.

Buy a truck, then buy a timber factory to sell timber, and buy more cars, and you can make a fortune.

Lao Wang asked, "Did you make a windfall?"

Talking about the town: "I made a fortune, I can travel freely and enjoy it."

spread

Lao Wang was resting under a tree, and Lao Li came up to him and said, "Hey, why don't you cut down trees on the mountain?"

Chai "?

Lao Wang said, "Is it made of firewood?" Li said: "It's easy to make money, and the money you sell can be bought."

Donkey, deliver the goods to your door, buy a truck with the money earned from selling firewood along the house, and then buy a timber factory to sell wood, so you can buy more.

& gt The Pharaoh of Truck Wealth asked, "Why did you do this when you made a windfall?"

Lao Li replied: "If you make a windfall, you can travel freely and enjoy it." Lao Wang said, "What about you?"

What about my pig? "

Pharaoh drove on the mountain to enjoy the scenery. He saw another car turning from the front.

He enumerated the superficial future. His car driver leaned out and shouted, "Pig!"

Without slowing down, the dust left. He looked puzzled, not to be outdone, and turned back to the car behind him.

Drink: "You are a pig!" At this time, his car hit a pig.

The story of the pig

A little boy is on holiday with his relatives and the national flower. All his relatives live in

In the farm, the children had a good time and saw many things they had never seen before. When he came home,

He told his mother everything. He said that he was impressed by mother pig.

Pigs. "What do sows do?" "Hey, it was a pig," said the child. "They took over it.

Above, start tearing the navel. "

Pigs and cats

The husband drank too much and came back late. He went into the house and saw that his wife was very ill.

& gt Eyes, very uncomfortable, gently walked to the sofa next to him and lowered his head to tease the kitten. His wife said, "Well,

What do you mean you bungee jump at the other end? "The husband immediately replied with a smile:

Honey, this is your cat! "The wife didn't look at him and said," I asked the cat, who?

Talk? "

Pigs and cats

My husband was drunk and came back late.

When he entered the family, his wife saw his stern eyes and was very uncomfortable. She gently walked to the sofa next to him.

Bow your head, Doby kitten.

The wife said, "Hey, what do you mean by bungee jumping with the other end?"

The husband immediately smiled and replied, "honey, this is your cat!" " "

His wife didn't look at him either and said, "I asked the cat again. Who is talking to you?"

Pigs and cats

My husband was drunk and came back late.

When he entered the family, his wife saw his stern eyes and was very uncomfortable. She gently walked to the sofa next to him.

Bow your head, Doby kitten.

The wife said, "Hey, what do you mean by bungee jumping with the other end?"

The husband immediately smiled and replied, "honey, this is your cat!" " "

His wife didn't look at him either and said, "I asked the cat again. Who is talking to you?"

Zhunaotang

Say strong man AB C goes to the night market to eat midnight snack! earlier times

Come and eat, and decide where to order the pig brain soup!

The result of the service! Miss, the people on the tray are too noisy. So, shout, shout brain, pig.

Brain, three pig brains! AB, the strong man, unexpectedly happened to coincide, disturbing the waving party.

Edge, here it is! " ......

main member

One person takes the exam, and the family members fill in the form:

A people's teacher whose husband is 30 years old.

My eldest son is playing at home.

Treatment of catching mosquitoes

I often stay in the laboratory and find a lot of mosquitoes at night ... completely expected by mosquitoes.

Made a lot of fun. ......

If you want to kill mosquitoes, you'd better not kill them too hard ... as long as they are dumbfounded,

Wings or a leg, so she can't go far. Then put it on the land where ants are rampant.

After the party ... you will experience the concept of unity and division of labor of ants ... Not long after, a mosquito.

The child has rotted, leaving only wings and feet ... (I don't understand why ants don't eat wings.

Feet), or you can watch ants and mosquitoes tug of war ... Practice: catch a very energetic mosquito.

Son, mosquito's feet read the watch (wall) with tape. Soon, you can see the ants start.

I'm ready. ................ doesn't know what mosquitoes will think, in order to escape from their broken legs ...

Never seen ......

Only see the residual feet ... the body has rotted), allowing two.

Opportunities for organisms to contact each other ... haha! !

thief

"Dad, this is our stolen car."

"What are the people you know?"

I didn't notice, but I remembered the car number! "

expert

The technician called the doctor to repair his frame TV for ten years and owned it himself.

The doctor said in an intermittent and humorous tone, "You write a prescription." Repairman

Watching in front of the TV was silent for a while, and then replied, "I can only see writing an autopsy report." "

expert

Just qualified as a doctor, he was still a young man on cloud nine when his family doctor told him.

He is their colleague now. BR/>； "Is it possible for you to become an expert?" The old doctor said.

"Correct," said the young doctor. "It's too complicated to look at the ears and throat of a nasal illness.

Family. "

"Really?" Old doctor, I specially prepared a nostril for you? "

I was released from school that day

There is a "night school" in the school. Every senior committed suicide by jumping into the lake by the lake.

In the evening 12, I met a lake love, which scared my sister at night school to death, but Xiaoming didn't trust his classmates. they

Bet he won't scare away. Xiaoming will have lunch at noon one day.

Sister school of lakeside night school. Thought: Noon 12, she will never be out of date! The result comes from the body.

Junior, want to eat? He turned to look at the senior. who is it? He asked:

......

You guys ... Midnight? The senior of the Evening News replied: "Dusk" is not available.

Put "days"?

In transit.

Vegetable suppliers send unfortunate injured passers-by in the morning, and passers-by go to court.

Get the amount of compensation, soon, his truck and injured passers-by, other passers-by also.

A very large compensation, let the first day of food into bankruptcy, when

The grocery store was busy sitting at home when the child ran in: "Dad's child," he sighed, "Oh, my mother drives.

Collision!

The grocer cried with joy, and his excited voice said, "Thank God, I finally became."

Install light bulb

Two people install light bulbs, one is working on the other's shoulders. Shangguang

The foam put something in it, and he said, "Okay, now hover."

The following people don't understand and ask, "What are you doing in circles?"

exceed

The car chaser said impatiently, "You are such a stupid light bulb screw.

If you don't use a circle, how can I screw it on? "

The bus at the back was full of passengers, and a little man was struggling to run.

But the car is still going downhill at high speed.

"Stop," the passenger shouted at the little man, sticking his head out of the window. "You can't catch up."

! "No, I have to catch up.

A little breathless, "I" is the driver! "

Word fat

One billion's memory is so bad that one day, he even quickly forgot the explanation of the word "day".

& gt dictionary, look it up and say "this word." In his dictionary, surprised words:

Don't stay up for lunch on the third day, pay attention. The word "day" is missing, fatty.

laugh at oneself

South Korea joked: "In South Korea, many people are selling golf balls.

Few people really play golf.

Americans laugh at themselves and say, "In the United States, helping basketball stars in lawsuits,

Few people really play basketball. "

The fans said: "In China, many people have the wealth to help the China football team really play football."

Vending machine!

& gt Two middle-aged office workers are on the bus in the morning, in their conversation.

A supermarket near my home: Yesterday, a new vending machine was on display. ......

Have you seen it?

A: Ah! Put a ten-dollar coin in a new old coin.

Women from the inside out!

B: Wow! Great!

A: However, there are better machines. ......

B: Oh! It is a machine!

Answer: Yes, the old lady will run out of ten ten-dollar slot machines!

give up

Officer, I beg you to put me in jail. I was just drunk and hit mosquitoes with a stick.

Son, I hit my head, my wife. "

"Did you kill her?"

"Bad case, let you hurry and don't lock me up."

self-consolation

The wind is very strong, and a smoker is walking on the road. He took out a lighter to match, but the wind caught fire.

In his mouth: lighter, but the last three cigarettes. No points in three games, cigarettes or

So he said loudly, "Be lighter, but seven, more than seven!" " "The specified four games or no smoke.

Point, he said, softly comforting himself: "Call him 3720, when they point, when they smoke."

other

Bicycle; Bicycle exercise

Bicycle shop:

"Nonsense, advertising, there is a kind of nostalgia!"

return

After leaving for a week, the villagers hobbled home, their clothes and shoes were dirty and tired.

Detailed. "Where are you going?" Ask his wife.

"I went into the Woods to check the distilled liquor, and the bear suddenly appeared in front of me, so I hit it.

Life escapes and gets it. I have never run so fast! "

Where were you a week ago?

The villagers sat down in their chairs and said, "Go back!

footmark

On my first day as a policeman, I met my friend B in the street.

B: "Yo, be a policeman! Congratulations!

& gt A: "I decided to follow in my father's footsteps when I was young, and now I finally got my wish.

B: "Oh, your father is a policeman!

A: "No, he is a thief.

Football contribution

The reporter asked Bu, the football coach of the University of Oklahoma, to pay tribute to the football physical exercise.

Quote.

"Absolutely not. Cloth answered at once.

"Absolutely not?" The reporter asked in surprise, "Why?

Football 22 needs to rest, run hard on the field and exercise 40 thousand.

But sitting and watching the World Cup

Football world skills

Wizards are great. Some people say that football is grateful for what people are willing to undertake. ：

The football association allows it.

In addition to a 7-year-old chess player, the coaching staff is chaired by Beibei, a German shepherd, and pregnant women in Africa.

Woman.

Players will always be Shaolin monks, former captains, former court jugglers, and see through the world of mortals.

Hair. friendly

The leader is Japan as the wild force of sumo.

Simple training courses.

Good morning, Beibei's leader, Nobuo. Those who stay, enjoy the wild and throw them back to hide evil and evil. soon

Personal trainer, the player ran away, afraid of being chased by Beibei.

At noon, the chess boy gave points, and the style was memorized. No one.

Lunch snacks, African women's milk is not gently sucked.

Play as usual in the afternoon

It's late, I'm full and asleep, and I haven't gone out.

More than a month, that is competition. Wherever I go, I'm like nobody's business. The captain fired, hit every shot,

In the game.

The United States is free from war and follows suit.

Domestic football dominates the world and is invincible.

The more countries.

curse

A beautiful woman married an ugly man. When a woman is pregnant, she will observe.

Her husband complained: If my children like you, you are really good at swearing.

Her husband replied, "If my children don't like me, you are cursed.

Mama component

Andy, who is 4 years pregnant, is confused. He wants to know,

The birth of a sister, brother or sister. Dad patiently described Andy and said, "Sir, the origin of regeneration."

Son, the last two legs, you know? "

"I see, dad, and then your grandmother will twist it together, that's right!"

The policeman replied, "It's just a person who parks illegally. I'd like a ticket for a smooth bus. male

He said no, his grandmother. "Policeman B:" Really? "

The policeman replied, "Yes, I asked him. He (his grandmother) cried very weakly."

ancestors

A: "I heard that our ancestors had no electricity, no tape recorders and no TV. They can. "

How was the scene? "B:" So they are all dead. "

Up to 6 months

In the class of adult education, students are required to think carefully and answer the following questions: "What if?"

Tell you, after half a year, the earth will be destroyed and all life will disappear. What would you do?

Do it. "A few minutes later, thinking, a student's hand was held.

"Did you do it?"

The student quickly replied, "I will let my mother-in-law move in with us."

"Isn't it? Does your mother-in-law live together? "

"This is what I want to do most, because it will be the longest and most difficult 6 BR p> in my life.

The smartest person

A group of four people flew to Guam, including the Prime Minister, a professor, a priest and a doctor.

Unfortunately for the students, the plane even broke down and crashed when driving to the airport for 5 minutes.

Machine, but only four parachutes. The first pilots were immoral. Catch one and jump down to catch the plane.

The prime minister said, I am the strongest, so I can't. I have to jump and teach.

Say, yes, I am the smartest person, guarding my useful body, so I jump.

What if there is only one parachute at this time?

The pupil approached the priest: I'm from the sky. Run away and make me smaller.

Some students said: impossible, we have two sets of parachutes! , the smartest person to carry.

Jump out of my bag ......

highest

Before the Spring Festival, the meat station always keeps some acquaintances of pigs. One day, they sold hunting.

Leave the headhunting company to write about Zhang San, Li Si, Wu, Liu ... Zhao mainly specializes in Zhu market.

Any warehouse that doesn't write its name is shocked: "Shit, how?"

My head? "Liu, director of the meat joint station, received Zhu from the slaughterhouse and was busy hunting, pointing to a dead pig.

Said, "Zhu, look, your head.

Highest order

Friends who travel to Shaoshan, I want to visit the Forbidden Word Memorial Hall, ask about the fare and be a concierge.

Say:

$5! "

So expensive! "

"Look, the statue of the President."

Only the president's left hand is behind his back, and the five fingers of his right hand are separated like waves.

For example, playing with hats and waving them back and forth ...).

Reduce the price/give me a deal. ......

......

You have enough packing. All right, let's go to the back. "

? ? ? "Behind"? ? ?

The president bypassed the concierge. "Look, what's the situation behind? Br's "Yes. "

The chairman's left thumb is bent. news

Television announcers without characters play forbidden characters. .....

I just got the news ... and then I wrote a note saying, "Dude, your front teeth.

And a spinach leaf. "

Bobo tried to kill himself, and the police arrested him.

Cost: "Littering casually.

Drunk

When two drunken people were walking on the runway, one person complained, "Why haven't you finished climbing the stairs?" !

The other snorted and said, "This handrail is so low."

Get drunk and buy vases.

Buy a vase at a drunken shop outside the city.

I saw a cup hanging upside down on the counter. I picked it up and saw something strange to say:

"Why does this vase have no mouth? Supplement:

Open a creative cup, how to connect it?

Drunk

Some people can have good wine without wine, go out every day, be late, get drunk and ask, "It's the sun."

What else? Or the moon?

The answer is: "If my family is away, is Wu He kept in the dark?" People were rolling on the floor.

Respect surnames

The master's apprentice said, "If a guest comes, you should ask his last name first, and then let me know.

One day, Mr. Wang looked at the mage's disciple and found that Mr. Wang recognized him. As usual, he asked:

"Wang, what's your name?

Yesterday's train

I have been selling goods back and forth on the railway for many years, often after work. The shop is complaining about the train. Suddenly,

Then, the time when the train arrived on time shocked him!

He immediately went to the bus service manager and said, "I want to congratulate you on your return. Here's to a cigar on this road because of me."

Fifteen years, this is my first time on the train!

The business manager said, "Restore cigars!" This is yesterday's train. It's too difficult.

One night, the power went out suddenly, and the room was dark. The anxious wife said to her husband, "Hurry up!"

Brought you the right game! "My husband shouted," It's so dark that I can't see my fingers. How can I enjoy it?

This is on the left. Which one is correct? "seat

Mrs. Partner sat in the crowded banquet hall and saw it clearly.

It shows that the young man is happy to get close to her heart. "Do you want to dance?" The gentle young man asked her.

"Yes," she whispered. "Well, can I sit in your seat?"

The way of doing things

Xiao Lin and Mike had a good talk and talked about the way of doing things. Kobayashi said:

"For others, I believe that only this half is the reason why I can succeed."

Li said, "I'm just the opposite of you. I always believe that others should double it. Today I"

Still very successful. "

Xiao Lin was surprised and immediately asked, "Ah, is there such a thing?" ?

I want to ask where do you work? "IRS"