That mountain, that water, that bridge

Author Wang Jingbo

The small umbrellas of dandelions scatter in the wind, and wherever they fall, dandelion seeds grow. Life is an accident, and so are people. Whose child you are, where you are born is up to you. But once a person is born, there are many necessities. One of the inevitable reasons is that there, and only there, is my hometown.

At the foot of Yidu Mountain, beside the Yixi River, at the east end of the Sali River Bridge, that now dilapidated and crumbling wooden house is my home. Go south to Nanshan Lumalun, and go north to Majitang, a total length of thirty or forty miles. This area is my hometown. The boundaries between north and south were drawn with my footsteps before I was thirteen years old. They were the farthest south and the farthest north I had ever been before leaving my hometown. The sun rises from behind the house and sets at the foot of the mountain across the river, which is the whole day. In this place, where the sun rises and sets, live my family, my relatives, my friends, and my neighbors.

In the summer when I was thirteen, a large truck carrying beds, cages, desks and other furniture took our family of five away from the Sari River. The car drove away, which was heartbreaking. A friend outside the car chased the car for a long distance, and we in the car shed tears. I don’t know when I will be able to come back to see my mother-in-law, my uncles, my aunts, my cousins, all my dear playmates, and all my kind neighbors. people. I can no longer run happily under this sky, I can no longer go to the fields to cut crops, I can no longer go to the mountains to weed pigs and pick vegetables, and I can no longer swim in the rivers to catch fish. Going to Changde, for my parents, may be a broad road covered with flowers and bright sunshine, but for me, it is like being uprooted from the ground, and there is only pain.

I have been crying for a few days before. Wherever I go, whatever I see, whenever I think that I no longer belong here, I cry. Not daring to be seen, I hid under the bridge, sat on the stone-paved slope, looked at the quietly flowing river, and cried silently. This is the deepest part of the river. I have jumped into the water from here time and time again to swim or catch fish. The bridge piers blocked the water, and the water detoured for a moment before continuing forward. There was a flood one year, and a bamboo raft was blocked by the third bridge pier. Large yellow waves crossed the bamboo raft and hit people on the bridge pier, and were blocked by the bridge pier again. The bamboo raft was stuck and kept shaking up and down. The man holding the bamboo raft couldn't stand. If he fell into the river, he would definitely die. In order to save the man on the bamboo raft, the Salihe people tried many methods, and finally found a long rope as thick as a snake. Several strong men worked together to hoist him onto the bridge. The man cried and bowed when he came up. Several guests had already prepared ginger soup for the man to drink. It will be difficult for me to see these lovely folks on this bridge in the future. Tears fell down again.

I went up the mountain stream without a vegetable basket or a bamboo basket. I wasn’t going to pick vegetables or shoot pigweed. I wanted to say goodbye. Touch every tree and look at every blade of grass along the way. This is my only way to get pigweed into the vegetable garden. Goodbye, ants on this road, you guys with long bodies and legs. Goodbye, grass. The snake you hid scared me. I would rather be scared than not see you. I went into the vegetable garden and sat on the edge of the soil, recalling the spring, summer, autumn and winter here, the tea I had picked, the peppers, cabbages, cucumbers, loofahs, pumpkins, and beans I had picked. I grew up eating the vegetables here. It will be difficult to eat vegetables from this garden in the future, and we don’t know who will plant and pick vegetables in this garden after we leave. Perhaps, after we leave, this garden will be left unattended and deserted. When I turned around and looked up, I saw other people’s vegetable fields, but I couldn’t see the top of the mountain, nor could I see my sweet potato field. I once chopped firewood at the top of the mountain and walked on the mountain ridges. There, I experienced the scenery of all the small mountains and the nearby villages. I saw the further origin and destination of the Yixi River, and I knew exactly what the mountains are. The sweet potato field, that piece of loess surrounded by rocks, sticks sweet potatoes in the spring rain, digs sweet potatoes in the autumn wind, we are so happy and full of longing while working. How many sweet potatoes does that soil grow every year? I don’t like to eat sweet potatoes, but if I don’t have sweet potatoes, I will starve. That soil grows not only sweet potatoes, but also me.

Goodbye, this mountain, this water, this bridge.

The car drove through Laowantang, Luojiawan, Yangjia Village, Niutiao, and entered Caijiazhou. I saw the path that I have walked countless times, which leads to my grandfather. Home. Thinking of grandpa, I shed tears again. After passing Caijiazhou, the scenery became more and more unfamiliar. I have only been to Majitang once. Strictly speaking, I have left my hometown. After almost crying, the three siblings and their father sitting in the carriage started chatting. "I will speak Salihe dialect for the rest of my life." I don't know who said it, but we three siblings all had this idea. If we speak Salihe dialect, we are Salihe people. Without Salihe, we are still Salihe people. Dad said: "What you will speak in Mandarin from now on will not work in Salihe dialect." How is it possible not to speak Salihe dialect? Salihe dialect is the most beautiful dialect in the world. There was once a young man who came back from the army and actually spoke Mandarin. The whole village thought it was funny, and we laughed too. If you don’t speak Salihe dialect, are you still a Salihe person?

When I arrived at the West Dongting Farm in Changde, I insisted on speaking Salihe dialect at first, but others could not understand me. I don’t want to give up my hometown dialect, but I miss Weng Ma and the Sali River very much. The flat fields in West Dongting extend endlessly, with neither mountains nor rivers. How does this feel like home? So I often cry secretly alone, just like Lin Daiyu, who is sentimental. After one semester, the warm and friendly classmates and teachers, as well as the fun of course study, slowly rescued me from depression.

Gradually, I became very familiar with Changde dialect and no longer spoke Salihe dialect even with my family. The Sali River has become an unattainable and unattainable corner, sinking deep into my heart. I can't even think about it and can't touch it. Whenever I think about it, I shed tears. I was drifting far away from home. Apart from missing me, I couldn't hold on to anything in the Sali River.

One day, the weather was particularly sunny and the air was clearer than ever before. I stood in the corridor of the classroom on the second floor and saw a faint dark blue on the horizon in the distance, like low clouds and like a cloud. Yes, mountains. I quickly asked the classmate next to me, "Do you think there is a mountain over there?" "Yes, it is a mountain. I have been there." Oh, you can also see mountains here, the same mountains as the Sali River, here Finally, there is one thing that is the same as the Sari River. Even though it is farther away, you can still see it. My heart actually started to feel at ease. Where the mountain is, I am not far from my hometown. For a while after that, I often had dreams, dreaming that I entered the Sali River boundary from whichever branch I passed. I was so satisfied that I still thought about it after I woke up. At that time, the economy was difficult. My father's salary was more than 50 yuan and my mother's salary was more than 30 yuan. It was not easy to maintain life. I never expected to buy a ticket and take a bus back to Salihe. I could only go back to my hometown in my dreams.

During the winter vacation of 1983, my second year at Changde Normal University, I finally made up my mind to return to Sarihe. The school gives me more than ten yuan a month for living expenses, and my family gives me five yuan a month. I have more than three yuan for the bus ticket back to Salihe. The main reason is that I am over 15 years old, I have taken the car back to West Dongting alone many times, and I have become bolder. During the holiday, I didn’t even tell my parents and bought my own ticket to go back to Sarihe. The dreamy Sari River!

The bus departs from Changde South Station in the early morning and arrives at Wutan in the afternoon. When we arrived at Wutan Station, the Wutan dialect spoken by the people at the station was different from Salihe dialect, but the difference was not big. I feel a little wet in my heart, and my eyes are a little reluctant. My aunt Weng Ma, Weng Ma's sister, lives here. The place name of Wutan is very familiar, and it is very close to Majitang. That time I walked more than ten miles to Majitang with my friends. We walked around the streets for a long time and bought a lot of water chestnuts to eat. When I returned to Sarihe, I caught a ride on a large truck. As a result, I stood staggering in the truck compartment and vomited all the water chestnuts I had eaten. I stopped eating water chestnuts and had no good impression of Majitang. But when the car stopped at Majitang Station, I started to get excited. This was already the beginning of my hometown. The car continued forward, and the road was winding and winding, crossing a mountain col and arriving at Caijiazhou. I stood up and stared at the path to my grandpa's house that I had walked countless times, and my eyes began to feel sore. The car passed through Niutiao, Yangjia Village, and the old houses in Luojiawan were still quietly entrenched in the mountain nests. Come on, come on, we’ll reach the Sari River! Tears flowed out and I was embarrassed to wipe them away. As the car passed through the streets of Sarihe, I recognized the people walking one after another on the roadside, and the two people sitting on the steps chatting. I know clearly whose home this is and whose home that is. I went home, the home I had been away from for three years. When the car stopped at the bridge, I was already standing firmly on the land of my hometown, and no one recognized me. I don’t have time to say hello either, I want to see Weng Ma quickly. As soon as I entered the yard, I called out to Weng Ma. She didn't know I would come back. When Weng Ma came out, I walked over quickly, hugged her, and cried. Dear Weng Ma, I miss you so much! This was the first hug in my life, and I had never hugged anyone before.

I returned to Salihe again, and Salihe came out of my dream. The bitter and congested homesickness for three years rushed out, like a flood that rushed over a dam. It no longer agitated, no longer entangled, no longer beat hard, but flowed gently and slowly, and there was also a kind of joy of being lost and found.

Going home this time cured my almost morbid homesickness.

In the future, I have traveled to many places and seen many beautiful mountains and rivers. Thinking about my Sali River, I will no longer be secretly sad, and I will have sweet peace in my heart. My grandpa, uncles, aunts, aunts, aunts, brothers, sisters, and neighbors are all there. I can go back if I want.

It’s just that, year by year, my grandpa, my uncle, my uncle, my mother, my mother, and my mother-in-law left one after another. Year by year, there were more and more unfamiliar faces on the streets of Sarihe, and there were more and more familiar faces. Less and less. All the old houses except mine were demolished, and the fields on the roadside were filled with houses. The team house was gone, the cowshed house was gone, and the big trees were gone one by one. The Sari River is no longer what it used to be.

However, Yidu Mountain is still majestic and silent, Yixi River still flows continuously, and the Sari River Bridge still connects the east and west. The Sali River will always be the Sali River, and I will always be a person with a hometown.

2020.4.10.

in Guangzhou