Very classic humorous copy

I always put a knife under my pillow in case someone suddenly brings me a cake.

Don't panic when life is not smooth. Looking at my wallet and savings, I cried.

Every time you scold others, have you considered their feelings? Anyway, I do. I try not to use dialect, for fear that the other party will not understand.

Someone just called me shameless. My backhand is a slap. Would I want such a beautiful face?

5. I went shopping with my husband and met a man and a woman asking for money. I took a few dollars and handed it to the man. The man turned to the woman: wife, here! Seeing that they have gone far, I smiled: even beggars are afraid of their wives. Husband laughs: Look at this posture, he should have a wife to beg.

6. I don't want any position, I don't want any position, I just want to be a rich man.

7. Driving on the road, I saw a sticker on the back of the front car: Older women must marry after catching up. The brothers fought decisively, and Nima lost.

More than 3000.

8. I ate hot pot with my friends last night. Call the waiter to add water. Attendant: Wait a minute! After a while, he shouted: waiter: wait a minute! At this time, the friend shouted: check out! As soon as the voice fell, the waiter came running, and the friend went on to say, add some water first. ...

9. "What is the greatest shame in life?" "Cheated, failed!" 10. It snowed heavily yesterday. The reporter interviewed in the street: "Aunt, how much do you think it will affect your life?" Aunt said: "The impact is too great! The first one is yours. Look carefully, I'm your uncle!

1 1. The beautiful collarbone is the same, and the interesting stomach jumps.

12. My mother said the most classic sentence: I have bad luck in my life. I met you two liars! Your dad cheated on you! You cheat money!

Thirteen. Girls should never go out alone at night. It is really dangerous. The streets are full of barbecues and supper, and no one can dissuade them. I can't help but enter one casually, and I will gain several pounds.

14. I suggest you go to bed as early as possible, do more exercise, don't eat supper, don't smoke or drink, go to bed early and get up early, and form good habits. Over time, you have no friends.

15. Never play mobile phone again. Look down at the mobile phone today. Just when the boss came, I quickly said, "Good morning, owners!" " Look for a job at the end of the year.

16. Couples should be equal. Listen to your boyfriend when you agree, and listen to your girlfriend when you disagree.

17. To sum up, my success in recent years is mainly divided into

Three categories: successful login, successful download and successful payment.

18. I seldom eat instant noodles when I was a child, but I can only eat them once in a long time. I feel delicious every time I eat it, thinking: I must eat it every day when I grow up. As a result ... now the wish has come true!

19. "I have your wife. I want her to transfer the money to the bank account! " "Are you new here? I wonder if men don't care about money? "

two

10. What do you mean, do not hesitate to die? Is to be angry 10 thousand times a day, but still don't give up.

I always thought she liked me until she denied it, and I realized that she had a crush on me.

Wife: I gave a blind man 100 yuan in the street today. Husband: Nowadays, fake blind people deceive many people. Wife: He said I was beautiful! Husband: Then he is really blind!

23. Advertisement on the subway: Is it crowded? Buy a car! Advertisements in taxis: Are they blocked? Take the subway! Are you kidding?

24. Husband: The doctor said I have arthritis! Wife: Did you ask how it was caused? Husband: Don't ask? You make me kneel on the washboard every day!