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Please forget who I am, the author; Fishing quietly

She smiled a little and asked me with big watery eyes, "Excuse me, are you Liu Xiaohui?"

1

In my memory, it was city C in midsummer, not a sunny day. Thick clouds in the air covered the sun, and the hot and humid air was filled with the fragrance of gardenia. I know peace in this sultry weather. To be exact, Liu Xiaohui and I met peace together. Bored, I kicked open an empty jar and hit Anning on the head impartially. When I was in trouble, I ran away, leaving kind Liu Xiaohui to clean up the mess. He didn't come back for a long time, sat on my bed with a strange light in his eyes and said that he promised to invite her to dinner to apologize. You know I'm all thumbs. It's up to you today. When Liu Xiaohui said this, there was a suspicious blush on his chubby cheeks.

On that day, Anning wore a white dress, and her clean cheeks were fresh and natural, smooth and meticulous. She sat in front of us with a faint smile, like a breeze in March, beautiful and quiet.

I was attracted by such beauty, and I talked like crazy. My eloquence caused a quiet and peaceful smile, while Liu Xiaohui, who was waiting for a while, sat next to me and could hardly interrupt. She can only respond with an echo smile and put the food into my bowl with peace.

One evening in early autumn, Anning finally became my girlfriend. When I told Liu Xiaohui the news, he couldn't get over it for a long time, and then he seriously warned me to be kind to peace.

"Anning is a good girl," Liu Xiaohui whispered. "She is the best in the world."

2

I don't know if Anning is the best girl in the world, but the longer I contact her, the more elusive she is. Her expression is always as calm as when I first met her, without obvious sadness or joy, like hiding a lot of secrets and often hesitating.

A girl with a peaceful temperament is like a crystal apple in the window. From a distance, it's dazzling, but from a close look, she feels as cold as ice. Peace is like this. She seldom accompanies me to do things that interest me, such as my favorite oil painting exhibition. Even though she is reluctant to go with me, she never refuses to communicate with me. Or I show her samples and let her choose the style and color she likes. She always says "this is good, that looks good" evasively, instead of making serious suggestions; The red and pink blue that girls of the same age like have never been seen in her. She always wears plain black and white clothes, which makes people feel inaccessible. And when I asked her to accompany me to the mall to choose clothes like other girls accompany their boyfriends, she always shook her head politely: "Sorry, I'm going to the library this afternoon." "There is a lot of homework, and I have to finish it quickly." Or simply refuse me: "Yumu, you know I don't like shopping."

"Go and help me choose a shirt," I almost grovel. "Even if you just tell me whether yellow looks good or blue looks good?"

But she still shook her head calmly: "Fish, didn't you study fashion design?" So you decide for yourself. "

My enthusiasm is gradually cooling down, what's more, besides peace, I still have eight points of pride and nine points of femininity. Even, I asked her to go to the ice shop opposite the school for a drink. I would pick her up in the dormitory in advance and then lead her across the road with less traffic, without exception.

I'm beginning to feel tired.

three

At the end of the semester, there is a football league between departments in the school. I am the center of the department team. Before the game, I went to sit in the stands and watch the peace.

"I hope you can cheer for me." I said, and kissed her soft hair tip.

Throughout the game, the opponent's offensive was fierce and the game was very difficult. Until the end of the first half, both sides still got nothing. All hopes are focused on the second half. At halftime, I sat in the rest area near the stadium and looked back at the peace. She sat on the steps, smiled at me and waved to me. That quiet smile immediately filled me with confidence.

The second half is still very difficult. Finally, the two sides launched a fierce battle for midfield. The opponent's new striker is extremely flexible and dribbles many times. Finally, he took the ball away from my feet, went straight to the point and scored in cheers.

At that moment, failure was almost a foregone conclusion. I fell to my knees and my heart was full of depression. But when I turned around in annoyance, I was surprised to see the figure of peace suddenly cheering in the stands in the distance. She jumped up high, cheering and waving her arms here, with long hair flying.

My teammates suddenly froze on the field and stared at me immediately: "Is your girlfriend sick?"

Because of this scene, my long-simmering dissatisfaction finally broke out. After the game, I ignored the peace, but turned a blind eye to bypass her and hid in the dormitory for a beautiful sleep.

In the evening, Liu Xiaohui went back to the dormitory and tried to convince me.

"Anning said you were angry with her," Liu Xiaohui said evasively. "She said that there were too many people on the field and she didn't see it clearly at the moment. Don't blame her. "

"What didn't see clearly," I sat up angrily, "we are the red team or the blue team, she will not see clearly? Liu Xiaohui, would you believe me if I said that she never took my affairs to heart? I can't afford such a girlfriend anyway. If you like, you can coax her yourself! "

Liu Xiaohui's chubby face blinked. She wanted to say something, but in the end she didn't speak.

A week later, the dispute finally went away, but Anning no longer smiled at me, but got along with me carefully and became more and more alienated. Until one evening a few days later, when I came back from training, I saw Anning and Liu Xiaohui sitting side by side on the bench in front of the dormitory.

Far away, I can't hear the conversation, I can only see the sad face of Peace, but I don't want to believe that a moment later, Peace was in tears, and Liu Xiaohui, who was sitting next to her, obviously struggled for a long time, and finally stretched out a stout arm and gently took hold of her slender shoulder.

At that moment, my heart cracked, but I was unable to ask.

four

The next summer came, I stopped dating calmly and my life became free again. I no longer need to rack my brains to please her. Liu Xiaohui seems to be getting farther and farther away from me. I still seldom see him and occasionally ask him to skip class and play games. He just smiled and shook his head. "The afternoon class is very important. I don't want to miss it." Then he walked to the teaching building with his textbook in his arms.

I didn't intend to argue with him at all, but his reaction was really disappointing.

On the afternoon of the weekend, when I finished practicing football with my teammates and lay down in a row on the playground, the summer sunshine almost evaporated my boiling blood. I decided to make it clear to Anning. As for her and Liu Xiaohui, let them go, friends and lovers, and fuck off. I don't want to care anymore.

I went back to the dormitory, and Liu Xiaohui was lying on the upper bunk, holding his little notebook and drawing diligently. Is he still recording bits and pieces related to peace? How interesting. I thought about it and decided to sit down and call Anning and ask her to meet at the ice shop. Anning was surprised to hear my voice, but there seemed to be a trace of happiness hidden inside. She quickly agreed, and then habitually asked me, "When will you pick me up?"

I turned her down without hesitation this time. "No, I won't pick you up. I'll wait for you at the ice shop in ten minutes. "

After that, I cut off the phone and didn't give her a chance to continue talking, but I heard Liu Xiaohui in the upper bunk hesitate to call my name: "Hello, Fish."

He stopped calling me "buddy", which disappointed me.

"Didn't you make up," Liu Xiaohui asked me, "but why didn't you pick her up at the dormitory?"

"Why should I pick her up?" I looked at him Gherardini. "What on earth are you nervous about?"

"I ... I didn't."

His round face has a contradictory and embarrassing look, and his once gentle little eyes look so ridiculous at this time. I just stared at him for a long time without answering, then turned and walked out the door.

five

In midsummer, the sun hangs in the air like a burning fireball, baking the black asphalt road to melt.

I walked briskly through the crowd on campus, crossed the road, went into the ice shop and ordered myself a coke. Then I chose a window seat and looked at the opposite school gate. Soon, peace appeared in the crowd waiting to cross the road. Her long hair flutters in the wind, just like a flag in the wind. I had a momentary crush, but it soon subsided, replaced by her proud face and the figure of her snuggling in Liu Xiaohui's arms.

I closed my eyes and didn't go to see her, but when I opened my eyes again, the person standing next to her had already crossed the road, leaving her standing in the same place. The traffic tide suddenly passed and the red light was on again. This time, the people around her quickly crossed the road again, but she just tried to take two steps forward and then quickly returned to the original place. After repeated several times, her face gradually showed a nervous and helpless expression.

My heart finally softened, sighed helplessly, put down my glass and stood at the door of the shop.

"Be quiet," I shouted to her. "Stay there. I'll pick you up. "

Anning raised his eyes in surprise with my shouts, and when he saw me, he nodded seriously, showing joy in his always calm eyes. But when I was about to cross the street, I suddenly saw Liu Xiaohui following me in the crowd behind Anning. He stood behind the traffic lights, dodging, and the narrow lamppost obviously couldn't cover his chubby body. He saw me and shrank back, but he didn't intend to leave. In that second, anger soared like a burning flame. I froze my eyes, then slowly stopped, looked at the peaceful face full of happiness through the shuttle car, and then turned around coldly.

"Fishes, Fishes!" Anning noticed my strangeness and called my name through the passing cars. "Fish, wait for me."

I heard her voice, but I just walked on stubbornly. But a few seconds later, I heard people screaming loudly, cars screeching-I heard the screams of peace, and I also heard Liu Xiaohui shouting the name of peace ... but I didn't dare to look back, close my eyes, and my heart was pounding in my chest, as if after thousands of years, the whole world suddenly fell into a Wang Yang.

six

It all happened so suddenly. In order to catch up with my footsteps, Anning ran to the road desperately, but Liu Xiaohui rushed up at the last minute before being knocked down by a car and stood in front of her. This is the legendary hero who saved America, but the hero is not handsome Prince Charming, but chubby Liu Xiaohui.

Chubby Liu Xiaohui was hit by a speeding car and his spleen ruptured, so he was forced to drop out of school and go home. Because Liu Xiaohui stepped forward, Anning was not injured in the car accident, but he lost part of his memory because of the shock and was taken away from school by his father. It was not until I pried open Liu Xiaohui's drawer and took out his carefully collected notebook that I finally got a glimpse of all the secrets.

It was the day after the football match that I saw them sitting on the bench together. Anning told Liu Xiaohui and told him to keep these secrets from me.

Quiet and serene eyes can't tell any color at all, so she can't accompany me to enjoy my favorite oil paintings, choose suitable clothes for me, and see the players running on the field clearly. The sadness she couldn't get rid of and the fear of crossing the road actually originated from the cruel memory of the six-year-old girl. She lost her mother forever when she walked into the crowded street because she couldn't tell the traffic lights apart. Her mother lost her life trying to push her under the wheel.

In Liu Xiaohui's notebook, Anning said, "Liu Xiaohui, please keep this secret from the shepherd, because he once said that he would bring me all the best colors in the world, but I can't tell him that there are only the most monotonous black and white in my world."

That summer vacation, I took the South Locomotive to a peaceful city and found her home all the way.

When the door opened, I was surprised to find that the style of the whole room was black and white, but it was quiet. Dressed in black, she stood behind the door and stared at me curiously as if we had never seen her before. Her eyes are still beautiful and quiet, her long hair is wrapped around her shoulders, and her clear eyes are pure and clear as water.

I looked at her for a long time, then stepped forward and whispered to her, "Peace, remember me?"

Anning met my eyes, looked at me for a while, cocked his head and thought for a long time, but finally showed a look of regret and shyness: "I'm sorry, I don't think I remember."

Her shallow smile made my heart ache like tears. I was speechless for a moment, but after a while, she suddenly remembered something and asked, "Excuse me, are you Liu Xiaohui?" At that moment, her calm eyes were full of longing, unable to hide hope like a naive child, and that deep longing burned my sight like fire.

Although she has forgotten his face, Liu Xiaohui, is this the only name she remembers?

"No, I'm not Liu Xiaohui," I answered. Then I feel that breathing has become painful.

Anning shrugged his shoulders, smiled apologetically, then raised his lips and asked me softly, "So, who are you?"

I also smiled and shrugged.

"I don't know who I am." I said, and then I felt hot tears slowly sliding down my cheeks.