Funny inspirational quotations

Lead: Quotations are new words with certain spreading power, which are generated by the words of celebrities, netizens and social events. The following are funny inspirational quotations I collected. Welcome to refer to.

A funny inspirational quotation 1. Behind every successful man, there will be a woman who is full and has nothing to do.

2, don't blow-easy to get dusty, don't be embarrassed-easy to fix, don't pretend-easy to get hurt, don't be beautiful-easy to get wet.

3, stay up late, because there is no courage to end this day; Stay in bed because you don't have the courage to start a new day.

4. Someone borrows money from you every three days, and you are tired; You are tired of borrowing money from others every now and then.

5, eat, I want it, thin, I want it, too, you can't have your cake and eat it, I went.

6. If you are the one, if the female guest turns off the man's light again, the aunt downstairs in the dormitory can turn off the whole floor.

7, husband, don't play cool with me, don't be jealous of me, make concessions when quarreling, and hold on when beaten.

8. When you don't have a girlfriend, you are a hunting dog. When you find your target, you are a bar dog. When you get it, you are a German shepherd. When you lose it, you are a dead dog.

9. When one person dies, two people are full of tenderness, three people miss each other, and four people are strangers to strange bedfellows.

10, Zhou skinned, 5 1 year-old, stealing chickens in the middle of the night, we are playing games and scratching Zhou skinned.

1 1, do it, have a look, have a look, give advice to the dry. It's not enough to give advice, just hide in the dark and frame it.

12, today's phenomenon: many beautiful women open magazines, open TV advertisements, pick up newspapers and sign articles.

13, breaking my word is my style, betraying my relatives is my present situation, and living a long life is my result.

14, in the dead of night, I often ask myself, was it right or wrong to decide to come to earth?

15, the world knows that it is good to wrangle, and it takes no effort and no brains. After three or five years, all the problems disappeared.

16, the standard of a good wife: cheating is cute, strictly expecting success, saving without spending money, and spending money with taste.

17, praise the deer as a horse, promote the flatterer, and suffer when the cow is a horse.

18, friends around me, get famous quickly, so that my memoirs can sell well.

19, when you have money, you say that you earn money. When there is no money, say that the money is saved.

20. Brother is just a game, but you are fascinated. It's not that I'm obsessed with legends, but they're so beautiful.

2 1, the world knows that "inverted" is good, and it is all gross. As long as you can make a lot of money, you don't need moral conscience.

22, little mouse, go up to the lampstand, steal oil to eat, can't come down, meow meow, the cat is coming, jabber and roll down.

23. Four white bars: grass-roots police station, township tax office, bank credit unit and stage nudity.

24. Pigs have pig thoughts, and people have people's thoughts. If a pig has a human brain, it is not a pig-it is Bajie.

Some men are as smart and changeable as the weather. Some women are as stupid as the weather forecast. She can't see the change of the weather.

26. Get together in the network and fall in love in the network. Sweet words are entangled! How confusing it is to say! By the way, friend, let's find out the gender first.

27. When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me.

28. I always feel that a bed that is too neatly paved will mean a little peace in my old age. Well, it's still messy and energetic.

29. Deal with people, listen more and talk less. That's why God gave us a mouth and two ears.

30. Rain is ticking, clouds are flowing, songs are free, love is intentional, love is crazy, the sky is eternal, and you are unforgettable.

3 1. If the leader doesn't give me a raise next month, I will resign. Before I resign, I will give him two Chinese and kill him.

32. See you soon after graduation; Have a wife a year after graduation; Later I regretted having a wife; Later, there was a stepmother; I regret having a stepwife the most.

33. Lovers are gentle as water and sweet as honey, colleagues are diligent and have no temper, and friends are obscene.

34. If all beings are old, people will die young if they are affectionate! If you don't want to get old and die young, you'd better talk to me.

35. The bitterness of romantic men: telling lies behind his wife's back, seeing mistresses telling jokes, seeing ladies talking nonsense, and friends talking nonsense together.

36. Supreme instruction: Wash your hands before and after meals; Wash your hands when you come back from abroad; Wash your hands after riding; Wash your hands when you touch the east and west.

37, riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, he may be a Tang priest; The one with wings is not necessarily an angel, he may be a bird man.

38. Four great ideals: blow up the Himalayas, travel around the solar system, tile the Great Wall of Wan Li, and swear to turn my wife into a fairy.

There are four eccentricities in today's society: cats don't catch mice, women don't like breastfeeding, people become prisoners of computers, and pets replace their parents.

40. We can avoid everyone, but we can't avoid a fly. What makes us unhappy in life is often trivial things.

4 1, white and white, ears pricked up, heard the phone beep, put down the radish and vegetables, and sent a message quickly.

42. Going out for a walk is not for me. My biggest wish is to sit in front of the computer and meditate on Sunday.

43. If two kinds of feelings last for a long time, in pork and pork; We want to fly in heaven, two birds are one, and we want to be a pig with a tail; Don't be a pig in your mouth.

44. If a woman is a book, many women have only one page: one page has a car, one page has a room, and the other page has a ticket.

45. In order to cooperate with the completion of family planning work in China this year, I decided not to contact friends of the opposite sex for the time being. Thank you for your cooperation.

46. Pranks should be thorough, destruction should be powerful, making trouble is a patent, pretending to be good is a gimmick, and the whole person depends on talent and fate. In short, I will never be restless.

47. Hello, hello, you eat straw, with more hair and less meat, and you like to take a bath with rice soup. You also said that your skin care effect is very good. You are a rare clown.

48, don't look thin, I am all muscles; Although I am black, my face shines; My head can be broken and my hairstyle can never be messed up; Blood can flow, shoes can't be oiled.

49. At dawn, I carried Emil Wakin Chau, crossed Nicholas Tse, came to Stephen Chow, picked Andy Lau, picked branches, made Jacky Cheung and ate Joe Cheng chicken.

50. Love at first sight! Goodbye, infatuation! All day! Want to win people's hearts! Take great pains! I want to hurry! Difficult to your heart! Do not know how to be intimate! How cruel! Makes me sad.

5 1, you are cute, poor and unloved; You are annoying, lovable and tireless; You are "smart" and won the first prize in flushing the toilet; You are very temperamental and irritable by nature.

52. Everything is inferior, only the power is high; There are never ugly men, as long as they have money. You are tall and handsome, and you are really lovable. Sooner or later, you will be put into a sack and thrown into the sea.

53. There are always several grandfathers Mao every month. His face changed from red to green, from green to yellow, to blue, to purple, to green, and finally he left me.

54, handsome, handsome, with hair like kelp, wearing a sack, and tying shoelaces around his waist, he loves to be bad if he has nothing to do! Do you think you are the most handsome in the world? Actually, it's the second generation of nerves.

55. I treat you like a pearl and you treat me like a salted fish. I'm crazy about you, and I'm crazy about you. Deep in the ocean, you hurt me on purpose.

56. Dinosaurs, well done, are called dancing; Being in a daze, doing well is cool; Cheat money, well done.

57. A man's life belongs to the country, his income belongs to his wife, his property belongs to his children, his achievements belong to his leader, his body belongs to his lover, and only his shortcomings and mistakes are his own. .

58. What is irony? Ironically, even if you are willing to be someone else's toilet paper, people still think your paper is soft, dirty your fingers, and hard, hurting your ass.

59. Men's mixed hair falls backwards; Men don't mix well, their hair leans forward. Women mix clothes and wear less; Women don't mix well and dress like an old lady.

60. A little pig is amazing. At eight o'clock every morning, he doesn't eat or take medicine, but just swallows it with his mouth. You said the pig was stupid, but he giggled.

6 1, meimeimeimei I love you, just like a mouse loves rice. Eat you, swallow you and put you in my heart. Bite you, chew you, and we will be together forever.

62. Bend your legs, break your spine, blow your head and cover your ass to get you a microphone, let you walk against the wall and vomit blood.

63. If being handsome is a crime, then I have committed a heinous crime. If fashion is a mistake, then I have been wrong again and again. What a miserable life.

64. Most people are working, a few are eating and drinking, most are practicing Qigong, a few are busy telling fortune, and many are playing Fangcheng.

65. Beauty, beauty, I love you. I will write you a love song. The theme is I miss you very much. It's all about missing you. Ask me what I think of you and swear that I will catch up with you.

66. Don't be crazy with me, my eldest brother Qin Shihuang; Don't pretend with me, I am the backstage of the CPC Central Committee; If you don't believe me, bin Laden is my uncle. If you blow it first and then poison it, America has to eat it.

67. Talk about winning or losing in Beijing; Winning or losing is decided by the Shanghai petty bourgeoisie; Win or lose by food in Guangzhou; Win or lose by football in Dalian; Win or lose by speed in Shenzhen.

68. When the husband is away, the wife confessed: drink less spirits and don't gamble; Don't pick wild flowers on the roadside; Cherish feelings and care for your wife; Such a husband is very cute.

69. My eyes are dull day and night, I don't eat three meals, my limbs are weak, I don't care about the whole grain, my six parents don't recognize me, I don't know anything, I am aggressive and sedentary, which is very useless.

70. Things used by celebrities are called cultural relics, and things used by mortals are called waste. Celebrities who drink too much are called Brewmaster, while mortals who drink too much are called alcoholics.