Classical humorous sentences

There are so many people who look down on me. Who are you?

I bury corn in the soil in spring, and I will harvest a lot of corn in autumn. I bury my wife in the ground in spring, and I will be shot in autumn!

Nonsense is the first sentence in interpersonal relationship.

People in the past, don't be sad for my death. If I live, none of you will live.

I was pulled out before I could flirt.

I never talk about people. I always talk about myths.

Not afraid of being used, I am afraid that you are useless.

People never know who inadvertently said goodbye to you and then really disappeared.

If you don't often encounter setbacks, it means that what you do is not very innovative.

What would you do if your opponent fell into the water? Pee.

The story of the stone tells us that all the things you really love are finally scattered, and all the things you mix and match are finally reunited.

Only mom is good in the world, and so is dad.

Seriously, have you had plastic surgery?

I love you! What do you care?

Gender: male, hobby: female.

Without hair, dandruff is more prominent.

When I woke up in the morning, I thought I had grown up, and the quilt was covered.

Some men are as smart and changeable as the weather. Some women are as stupid as the weather forecast. She can't see the change of the weather.

Someone has a crush on you. Will you be tempted to know? I think I'll change my mind.

Knowledge is like underwear, invisible but important.

Only a dead skeleton with a twisted neck like a fetus looks like a broken lily to me.

Classic humorous sentence 2 1, I am a college student. I just suddenly remembered that I haven't contacted my father for a long time, so I grabbed my mobile phone and made up a blessing message and sent it. The mobile phone rang immediately, and dad's only three words: how much is it?

There is a wild cat on the high branch in front of the girls' dormitory in school, and many girls are watching it. Several stout boys made great efforts to save the cat. Someone asked, "Can't cats climb trees? I should be able to come down myself, right? " A classmate next to him simply said, "The alcoholic's wine is not wine, even monkeys can be saved!" " "

During a private visit, Gan Long found it strange to see a man who looks like his brother. He asked: Did your mother ever work in the palace? The man replied, no, but my father did it in the palace.

4. Ancient leftover women were punished: in Song Renzong period, men married at the age of 15 and women married at the age of 13; Ming Taizu stipulates that men get married at the age of 16 and women get married at the age of 14, which is a fine. For example, when Emperor Zhao of the Han Dynasty, whose daughter 15 years old or older, who did not marry at the age of 30, was fined 600 yuan; In the Tang Dynasty, men over 20 years old and women over 15 years old were also punished. 2 1 century How much will a 30-year-old girl be fined?

5. Man: "Why do you like me?" Woman: "Because you are handsome." Man: "Handsome people can't be eaten." Woman: "But if you are not handsome, you can't eat."

6. My friend is born after 70, and everyone envies marrying a wife born after 90. My friend's foreign company executives earn a lot of money, and his wife stopped working after she got married. She stays at home all day and watches cartoons online. She likes watching festive movies very much. One weekend, his wife watched him watch a football match with rapt attention and wanted to learn cartoons. Kotaro suddenly patted her husband on the back of the head with a pan, which startled him. As a result, his pot was thick and heavy, and she turned it around and patted him. I'm still in the hospital, and I'm probably going to be a vegetable. The husband is the sole breadwinner of the whole family. The new house loan has not been repaid, and the medical expenses are bottomless. Before getting married, she was a salesperson with a monthly salary of 1000 yuan. . . The short happy life is over!

Classic humorous sentence 3 1, love at first sight is always related to looks, and accumulated love is always related to habits.

Don't cross the river unless you are a raptor or an opponent.

3, some things don't try to be brave, some people don't have to force.

I would rather laugh and cry than cry and say regret.

I have nothing but an uncertain tomorrow and an unknown future.

I would rather forgive others myself than let others forgive you.

7. Time may not prove many things, but it will definitely reveal many things.

8. Any unhappy time is a waste.

9. Time will give you everything you want

10, don't use gossip to get to know the people you love.

1 1. Why don't you call if you have time to be jealous?

12, this society, there is no right or wrong, only strength.

13, as long as the spirit does not decline, winning is better than losing.

14, behind a failed man, there is an eventful woman.

15, being ordinary is a blessing, not making progress is a crime, and falling is equal to adding to the crime.

16, what is expected is the play, and what is unexpected is the plan.

17, drunk on the battlefield, how can you live forever if you don't laugh?

18. Friends are the road, but home is a tree. Don't get lost, lean against the tree.

19, the first person to forgive is the strongest, the first person to apologize is the bravest, and the first person to let go is the happiest.

20. The person you despise today may be the god you can't afford to taunt tomorrow.

2 1. I used to think that without you, I would have no world, but now that you are gone, my world is still there.

What you are looking for is not a perfect person, but a person who suits you best.

False friends are more terrible than real enemies.

24. Take advantage of the sunny and breezy Xu Lai, while he is still young, go and see the person you want to see.

25. Being abused for thousands of times in winter is like first love for a quilt.

26. sentient beings don't have to die, fragrance is the best, and ruthlessness may not be decisive.

27. Have a temper and never give up.

28. When I get married, I will blow up the divorce office.

29. I don't want to be nice to myself. How can others treat you well?

Dear, the enemy crosses time, the enemy crosses distance, and we win.

3 1. There are far more people watching your jokes than caring about you in this world.

32. Actually, the third party is an emotional polygraph.

Listening to rumors is the best way to destroy friendship.

34. Not all expressions should be written on the face, and not everyone can understand them.

You know, I love you.

36. A single flower is not spring, but a hundred flowers bloom in spring.

37. You are my dish and I am your material.

38. Long hair and waist are out of date, and short hair and shoulders are appropriate.

39. Love has no reason, hate has no excuse, only care.

40. Being away from boyfriends is the most basic thing for being a girlfriend.

4 1, if the person you like doesn't like you, then even if people all over the world like you, will you still feel lonely?

42. If you have never been humble, you have never really loved.

43. The past will eventually become history.

44. It is wise not to oppose others, and it is also wise not to oppose yourself.

45. People are getting more and more beautiful; Heart, more and more ugly.

46. Don't underestimate anyone. The more modest a person is, the more he will do unexpected things.

47. I would rather get lost than reluctantly accompany.

48. Strong love is the end, while relative love is eternal.

I hate anyone who approaches me with a purpose, whether it is friendship or love.

50. Time is a quack who claims to cure all diseases.

Classic humorous sentence 4 1 Bad guys need strength, while scum need taste more.

Mom said: even if you are jealous, pretend to play soy sauce, and you can't let others look down on you.

It is said that money is everything. As a result, I took the money to the grocery store to buy a man who was beaten into a giant panda.

Donor, if you bully the poor, you will disgrace Jesus!

Real dinosaurs glow when they turn off the lights.

Waiter, give me a bottle of mineral water, 49 years old.

If the school hadn't said you shouldn't litter, I would have kicked you out.

What age is it now? I have no sense of hooliganism.

If I win 5 million, I think I'd better donate it to my account.

10 classic sentence-When I grow handsome, you will all marry me like flowers.

1 1 Why do I often have gum in my eyes? That's my deep love for sleep.

12 Ren Lei's Quotations-Homework Let's break up, I find that we are not suitable.

13 saw CCTV and thought China was great; Gossip about the world and feel China!

14 inexplicable back pain, is the old woman pregnant?

15 the explanation is cover-up, cover-up is dishonesty, and dishonesty is lack of cleaning.

Tell 2B what you said.

17 I am a mute, and I usually speak in disguise.

18 You are quite normal, if you don't consider IQ.

19 people are true or false, but unfortunately I am not a money detector.

I'm not RMB. Why does everyone like me? !

2 1 The biggest tragedy in the world is that the radiation didn't come, but you were killed by salt.

The real warrior dares to face up to the beautiful girl and the bleak singles.

I feel like two pigs because one pig can't describe your stupidity.

This dream thing is going to be shattered, right?

You scold, you continue to scold, scold enough and then tell me, I'll go to bed first.

There are no white pies in the sky, only white bricks.

27 classic quotations: there is no love without breaking up.

My world suddenly began to snow, my god! Please don't comb your hair next to me.

Classic humorous sentence 5 1, sighing is the most wasteful thing, crying is the most wasteful behavior.

Close my eyes and I see my future. ...

When the road is rough, shout and move on.

4. You don't know what dependence is until you drop your belt.

Life is sometimes like a computer. If it collapses, it collapses. It's not negotiable.

6, the sea is wide with diving and beating drums.

7. The grievances that can be said are not grievances; A lover who can be taken away is not a lover.

8. Smoke is not obedient, so we smoke.

9. A man's brain likes a woman's heart, but his eyes like a woman's appearance.

10, salted fish turns over, or salted fish.

1 1, I can choose to give up, but I can't give up my choice.

12, as a typical loser, you are really successful.

13, not everyone can live a low-key life, and the basis of low-key is to be high-key at any time.

14, women like ugly men, not ugly men.

15, our love died on this day, just to give each other a chance to be reborn.

16, when the boss uses you, you are a talent, and when you are not used, you become a layoff!

17, fell down, get up and cry.

18, sometimes the killer of marriage is not an affair, but time.

19, never mentioned, not because I forgot, but because I remembered.

20. Let the future come and the past pass.

2 1, is it necessary to be large? Dinosaurs didn't go extinct as usual!

A white lie is a good excuse for your deception.

23. Parents fool their children to call education; Children fool their parents and say that their parents are derailed; Fooling each other is called the generation gap.

24, don't talk to me about feelings, talk about feelings hurt money.

25. I can't extricate myself. In addition to love, there are radishes in other people's fields.

26. I thought I was "invisible" and others couldn't find me. It's no use. People like me, like fireflies in the dark, are bright enough and outstanding enough.

27. Diamonds last forever, and one will go bankrupt!

28, the iron cock will leave some rust, you are simply a stainless steel cock!

29, haven't had time to philandering, was pulled out.

30. Everyone is born primitive. Sadly, many people have gradually become pirates!

3 1, don't say that others are mentally ill. The premise of encephalopathy is that you must have a brain.

32. Lie down where you fell.

I am not a prince. Why do girls always think they should be princesses when they see me?

34. The most contradictory place between lovers is dreaming about each other's future, but thinking about each other's past.

35. If you are angry for one minute, you will lose 60 seconds of happiness.

36, busy is a kind of happiness, so that we have no time to experience pain; Running around is a kind of happiness, which makes us truly feel life; Fatigue is a kind of enjoyment, which leaves us no time to be empty.

37. Life is like breathing. "Breathe" is to take a breath, and "suck" is to fight for a breath.

38. Knowledge is like underwear; it is invisible but important.

39. Marriage is to wear cotton-padded clothes freely. It's inconvenient to move, but it will be warm.

40. The hero is sad about the beauty pass. I am not a hero. The beauty let me pass.

Classic humorous sentence 6 1. Books are lighthouses standing in the sea of time in Wang Yang. whipple, fred lawrence

Don't care too much about people and things. If you care too much, you will have regrets!

The quickest and most reliable way to overcome fear and build self-confidence is to do what you are afraid of until you gain successful experience.

4. Simple life is not easy, because if you want to live a simple life, you must not think too much.

As long as you are willing to study hard, nothing in the world is not too late.

6. Reading is to build your own ideas with the help of other people's ideas. Rubakin

7. Gratitude is the source of happiness. Know how to be grateful, and you will find everything around you is so beautiful.

8. A person is not necessarily poor without money, but will be poor without dreams.

9. The knower enjoys water, and the benevolent enjoys Leshan; The knower moves, and the benevolent is quiet; People who know are happy, and people who are kind live long.

10. We can collect knowledge through reading, but we must separate bran from wheat through thinking. Faust

1 1. Simplify complexity, simplify complexity.

12. The input of campaign products is the user's demand and the output is the user's satisfaction.

13. nourishing the heart is not just about wanting; Nothing is more enjoyable than reading. Zheng Chenggong

14. Young people who don't work hard are pathetic.

15. We should be grateful for the pain and frustration, which is our homework. We should train from it and then break through, so that we can really get rid of it.

Classic humorous sentence 7 1, not afraid of enemies like tigers, but afraid of teammates like pigs.

Go your own way and let others take a taxi.

3. The mice are looking for cats all over the street with knives.

4, as long as the kung fu is deep, shit is also serious.

5. Summer is not good. When I was poor, I didn't even have to drink the northwest wind. ...

6. Who runs fastest in China? It's Cao Cao (not Liu Xiang). Because speaking of the devil.

7, how far is the thought, how far you roll for me.

8. Only when there is a long queue at the railway station can we truly realize that we are "descendants of the dragon".

9. All's well that ends well for lovers.

10, spring comes, and a flock of geese fly north, forming a B-shape for a while and a T-shape for a while.

1 1. Where did you fall? Just lie down.

12, if there is a problem, find the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

13, the donkey has looked backwards.

14, the highest level of self-help in eating: help the wall in, help the wall out.

15 although I am not very handsome, when I was a child, someone praised my left nostril as an idol.

16, no money, no power, no longer good to you, can you follow me?

17, take the newspaper to the toilet, I am a scholar.

18, women must be better to themselves. Once you are exhausted, other women will spend your money, live in your room, sleep with your husband and beat your baby!

19, your ugliness has nothing to do with your face. ...

Grandpa comes from his grandson. ...

2 1, my god, did you let summer and winter live together? ! This kind of weather!

22, the bird is big, there are all kinds of Woods!

23. Don't be afraid of enemies like tigers, but teammates like pigs.

I ran hard, but I couldn't get rid of the sadness that followed. ...

25. Man is a dog's best companion.

I can't find my favorite umbrella. I'd rather get wet.

27. The higher you fly, the smaller you are in the eyes of people who can't fly.

28. First, it is best not to meet each other, so that you can not fall in love. Second, it is best not to know each other, so that you can not miss each other.

29, don't do boring things, the difficulties are endless.

30. Carrying a banner against the wind, with two big characters written on it: My hero! !

3 1. Some things are beyond our control, so we must control ourselves.

32. I would rather be proud and lonely than have no grievances.

33. Walk the catwalk to the society!

34. My brother's past love life was also quite chaotic.

35. I spent 80,000 yuan on a pottery jar of the Western Zhou Dynasty. I went to Jianbao column for appraisal yesterday. The expert said seriously, "Where is this from the Western Zhou Dynasty?" This is from last week! "

36. The fish said, "I kept my eyes open to leave you." The water said, "I have been flowing tirelessly all day, surrounding you and holding you tightly." The pot said, "It's almost fucking ripe and there's still so much nonsense."

37. The Tang Priest met a banshee on his westbound journey, observed that her breasts were plump and her hips were plump, and she wanted to have sex. When she saw this scene, the banshee exclaimed, Elder! My little girl is afraid of having sex when she menstruates! Hearing this, the Tang Priest folded his hands: Amitabha, I'm here to learn from the scriptures!

38. Sit still and think about yourself. Gossip is not directed at people. Those who can bear hardships are people with lofty ideals. Those who are willing to bear hardships are not idiots. Respecting gentlemen is virtuous, and being afraid of villains is not incompetent.

39. How much love can fool around! !

40. You will never become an excellent college student, relying on excellent quality!

4 1, I can't learn well unless I fail in prison!

42. I want to let the world know that I am very low-key!

43. spoony men like who doesn't like me!

44. The difference between me and a madman is that I am not crazy!

45. Have a pen, a dream, courage, madness and gentleness.

46. You are only young once, but you can't come back. Therefore, it is necessary to be forgiven for subverting the whole world smartly-whimsy wants to be thorough, destruction should be powerful, patents should be obtained when things go wrong, stunts should be forced, and the whole person depends on talent and fate.

47. Unload the unshirkable burden, step back from the irreversible road, endure tears and pursue the untraceable future.

If I die before I wake up, I pray that God will take my soul away. ...

49. When cobwebs mercilessly sealed my stove, when the smoke of ashes sighed poverty, I still stubbornly spread the ashes of disappointment and wrote with beautiful snowflakes: Believe in the future.

50. Maybe after a fierce struggle in life, I will die more peacefully than the lake. Then please go to the cemetery to find my inscription, which also says: love life.

5 1, the dream of the future is floating in the lit cigarette, and the blue cloud is the dawn against hope. But now this wisp of smoke has become a sadness in my heart, and the rain has merged into a low cloud.

52, or simply forget her, beggars can not find the warmth of the world, I clearly see the future, wandering is the goddess of fate.

53. If you have a good impression in the crowd, please convey it with your eyes!

54. Fireworks blooming at the same time in the night sky can see each other's beautiful moments, but I can't light up your life. ...

55. Men who pretend to be forced are the easiest to be moved, because they even pretend to be moved.

56. If you are bored, you can play with your nose for a while.

57. After meeting me, you will suddenly find that you are handsome and can be so single-minded!

58. None of the women who participated in the beauty pageant can find a good man, because all the good men are married, such as me.

59. If the leader doesn't give me a raise next month, I will resign. Give him two more Chinese before resigning and kill him.

If pigs can fly, who will buy a plane? Ride a pig to heaven.

6 1, I can't find my tie again. Didn't you find a rag yesterday?

62. In Egypt, a man can have four wives. How tired. China is better.

63. You also made me kneel on the washboard. I can't stand the electric heating!

Even if I were a toad, I would never marry my mother toad.

65. Besides teeth, there is love in the world.

Don't mess with me, or I will let you die rhythmically.

67. It doesn't matter that not every apology can be exchanged.

68. If I become an emperor, I will make you a prince!

The only way to get happiness is to cherish what you have and forget what you don't have.

70. Tongue is longer than teeth, and software is longer than hardware.

Classic humorous sentence 8 1. It's really beautiful to watch the heroine's head leaning against the bus glass in Korean dramas. I tried. I almost didn't have a concussion

Although I am not very handsome, when I was a child, someone praised my left nostril as an idol.

You can go as far as you want.

4. Clear water means no fish, and people are invincible!

5. Water can carry a boat and cook porridge!

6. Who held my hand and made me crazy for half my life; Who, kiss my eyes, cover my half-life displacement.

7. A tree will die if it is not skinned. People are shameless and invincible in the world.

8. What is happiness? Happiness is that cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Altman beats small monsters.

9. Life is interesting, because life always fucking plays with me.

10. I think I would like it if I came later in the morning.

1 1. You are handsome when you smoke, but you will die young.

12. "Why do you always listen to songs while doing your homework?" "Didn't you see the background music when the protagonist did something important in the movie?"

13. Let's keep company with the world of mortals and get fat for nothing.

14. Tomorrow follows tomorrow, there are so many tomorrows. Since there are so many, we might as well postpone it.

15. I sold myself, and I was so tired. Complete procedures, can't cook, can eat, can take care of themselves, have money, will be ruined, have no money, will be at home, take it out and take it home. Interested parties are welcome to consult, post and go upstairs by themselves, which is absolutely limited.

Classic humorous sentence 9 1. Looking back, we are writing sad youth with a happy mood.

2, full of economy and knowledge is the skill of the donkey, easy to delay and lag.

When the light runs over youth, I will interpret sadness with happiness.

In our life, we are beautiful because of ignorance and absurdity.

5, years, mixed feelings.

6. add a period after each sentence, and remember that you have nothing to gain and are confused.

7. A long time is a wine brewed in a lost way. The older you get, the more fragrant you get.

8. I have been in bed all my life, and I know it.

9. Extreme obedience is treason.

10, sitting in the eyes of the empty and vacant, condensed into a dense sadness, gradually extended and diffuse in the youth sky.

1 1. We always describe our embarrassment in the gap of youth in poetic language.

12, I am on the other side of the river, watching the return, and the return is hopeless.

13, in the moonlight, I used complicated words to pay homage to my youth and to commemorate my lost friendship and late love.

14 So, in that era when we were used to hurting spring and autumn, how many sunset scenes you accompanied me and how many twilight nights I accompanied you, we sat silently opposite each other, not talking about the morning and evening.

15, even if the world forgets you, there will always be a few people who say "Happy Birthday" at the beginning of your life.

16, no matter how lonely, those figures will never be forgotten.

17, always born in a casual year, looking back across the bank, even though it has been 16 years.

18, I didn't waste my youth because of you on the road.

19, I put your stories in my microphone, above my life and under my memory.

20. In the year when I was writing at my desk, by the window, it was a black river where the soul rushed to youth and the abrupt world.

2 1, some people forget it inadvertently; Some people, no matter how hard you try, can't forget.

22. I always like to go against time and look for the footprints of youth.

23. When my casual mood turns into words, I will use it to record eternal life.

24. Dusk is a short sadness of youth.

25, therefore, the shuddering should also be light and simple.

Classic humorous sentences 10 1. Boyfriend: What do you want? Will you stop being unreasonable? Girlfriend: unreasonable, yes, I am unreasonable. As a man, can't you say you are sorry? Just say sorry to me! Boyfriend: Sorry. Girlfriend: Do you think you can just say you're sorry?

2. Tea is really pitiful. If you soak it, praise it. If you soak it, throw it away mercilessly.

3. When there is no money, there are a group of friends; When you have money, there are a group of bodyguards. ...

Life is like a pancake, you have to turn it over several times before it matures.

5. Young people don't work hard. The boss does his homework.

6. Hold your hand. If the child doesn't leave, he will stun the child and continue to drag it.

7. I suddenly found that my homework is like a wife and my mobile phone is like a mistress. When I'm with my wife, I think about Xiaosan. When I'm with Xiaosan, I feel sorry for my wife and I'm dying.

8. Honey, don't get me wrong. Our love didn't get cold, but solidified.

9. I like the night when I can fall asleep immediately in bed, but I live in an era of sleeping with you-paralysis and excitement.

10. I don't ask you to turn back. I just hope you will fall into the pit when you go forward without hesitation, so that I can catch up with you.

1 1. Be modest, listen to other people's opinions, and then carefully write down who has a problem with you.

12. Lao Wang fell into the dry well at the entrance of the village. With the enthusiastic help of the villagers, Lao Wang finally adapted to the life at the bottom of the well.

13. Watching TV with my boyfriend, the heroine in the play has leukemia, and the hero never leaves. I asked affectedly, "I'm going to have leukemia." Will you leave me? " The boyfriend said firmly, "No" and "Why?" "I won't live for a few days anyway."

14. Don't forget to cover your roommate with a quilt if you wake up at night.

15. Once I squatted on the ground to play with something, my male god slapped me from behind, and then I farted loudly.

16. I can't sing out of tune, I just like singing my own songs.

17. Don't try to teach pigs to sing, it will not only lead to no results, but also make pigs unhappy!

18. Now, the only thing I can afford to put down is chopsticks.

19. Every year is Tanabata. Go out and have a look. Break up a couple is a couple!

20. Old people can't fight. Children can't fight. Women don't fight. Men. Fight to the death

2 1. If you have money, you will lose your home; if you have no money, you will worship God.

22. Now you scold me because you don't know me yet. When you get to know me later, you will definitely hit me hard.

23. Come to the store with me. If you don't go, it's my treat. Go, go to the bathroom with me. If you don't go, it's my treat. Get out.

24. The school is not a funeral home, so check what remains and what mourning clothes to wear.

25. Brother, do you have the nickname "Gao Qiu"? I'm completely pissed off by you.