Memories of Mao Dun's Father (2)

Father's ambition

After my grandfather died, my mother went home, and so did I. Two years later, my great-grandfather died and the third house was separated. Another year, when I was five years old, my mother thought it was time for me to go to school and wanted me to come to our school. But my father didn't agree. He has some new textbooks for me to learn, but I don't think my grandfather will teach them. He wouldn't let me go to my home school at all, but let my mother teach me in our dormitory. These new textbooks are A Word Class Map, Astronomical Songs and Geographical Songs of Shanghai Middle School. The last two were copied by my father from my mother's "Being Must Read". Mom asked Dad: Why not teach history? Father said that there is no simple historical reader in classical Chinese. He asked his mother to try to make one up. So my mother made up a passage to teach simple classical Chinese, starting with the Three Emperors and Five Emperors, just as her father asked her to read it when she first got married.

Why didn't my father teach me himself, but let my mother teach me? Because grandma is in charge at this time, mother eats ready-made meals and has leisure; Secondly, one by one, it is also very important that my father is busy with his own affairs, which can also be said to be his planning for learning.

The year my father got married was the year when the Sino-Japanese Sino-Japanese War of 1894-1895 broke out. The capitulators headed by Empress Dowager Cixi in the Qing Dynasty humiliated their teachers and the country in this war, which aroused the indignation of the people all over the country. Writing letters on the bus led by Kang Youwei is a great stimulus to patriotic literati. The call for political reform shook the whole country. Wuzhen also passed. My father became a reformer. Relatives such as Lu and friends such as Shen () all have the idea of being close to their father. Although my father won the top prize from stereotyped writing in elementary school, he hated stereotyped writing in his heart. What he likes is math. There happens to be a book "Integration of Ancient and Modern Books" published by Shanghai Book Integration Company at home (my great-grandfather bought it when he was lucky in doing business in Hankou). Father found books on mathematics from this kind of books. Self-study from shallow to deep. He also made a set of computing chips (made of bamboo chips), which were very exquisite (mother kept them until her death). But at that time, my great-grandfather was still alive, my father only learned to read secretly, and before he got married, my father had no money and could not buy some new books that had been published in Shanghai at that time.

At that time (my great-grandfather was still in Wuzhou), the expenses of each house in Miyake were supplied by my great-grandfather, which was called public account expenditure at home; This public account includes all the expenses of three rooms and each room, plus pocket money, five yuan per room per month ... it belongs to my grandmother. If dad asks grandma for money to buy books, grandma will say: There are so many books at home, do you want to buy them?

But after getting married, my father knew that my mother had 800 yuan to fill the box, and he felt that some of his plans could be realized. These plans include not only buying books, but also seeing the world in Shanghai and Hangzhou with my mother, going to Suzhou and so on (my father had never been to Shanghai and Suzhou at that time), and even thinking of studying in Japan. At that time, my mother smiled and said, "You never got married, thinking that 800 yuan is a lot of money, and you can do this and that. I am already a family, and I often have hundreds of dollars in and out. I estimate that this 800 yuan is only enough for you to buy books. "

As a matter of fact, my great-grandfather was still alive at that time, and my father was not allowed to go anywhere to "see the world" except in Hangzhou, let alone after having obtained the provincial examination! Great-grandfather himself went to Shanghai at the age of 30 and later traveled all over the country. He likes the new environment and new career best, but he educates his children and grandchildren in different ways.

Father can only be satisfied with buying books for the time being. According to the advertisement in Shanghai Shenbao, he bought some books on sound, light, culture and electricity, some new books on political and economic systems in Europe and America, and books on western medicine in Europe.

In April, the year after my great-grandfather retired, he asked Emperor Guangxu about his decision to reform the country by imperial decree.

Within a few months, many imperial edicts were issued one after another. For example, the imperial examiners changed the stereotyped writing into a strategy, opened imperial academy Hall, changed the provincial capital academy into an institution of higher learning, Fucheng Academy into a middle school, and prefectures and counties academies into primary schools, all of which were well versed in Chinese and Western learning ... Suddenly, on the sixth day of August, Empress Dowager Cixi took charge again, detained Guangxu in Yingtai, killed six people including Tan Sitong, and wanted Kang Youwei. This is the end of the Hundred Days Reform. This is the famous coup in history.

My father had a good time. At the climax of the reform, my father planned to go to Hangzhou to enter a newly established institution of higher learning, and then get the expenses for studying in Japan. If he fails, he will go to Beijing to enter Shi Jing University. Now everything is in vain.

In the autumn of Gengzi (Eight-Nation Alliance captured Beijing), his great-grandfather died of illness. Followed by the separation of the three palaces. These things followed, and my father's willingness to travel was naturally put aside, not to mention my mother's second pregnancy and the birth of my brother the following year.

1898 In the fourth year after the coup, that is, in the autumn of Renyin (1902), after having obtained the provincial examinations, stereotyped writing was abolished.

Father didn't want to take the exam, but his relatives and friends advised him to go. Lu wanted to go by himself, so he advised his father to go. So we went to Hangzhou to take the exam. There are five or six people. Shen Ben didn't want to take part in the provincial examination, but he wanted to travel to Hangzhou while he was excited, so he went with him.

When my father left the first game, he got malaria. He bought cinchona cream (that is, quinine) to treat malaria. He didn't take the third game, so naturally the "Chinese style" was hopeless. But when I went to Hangzhou this time, I visited the bookstore before entering the venue and bought a lot of books, including some old novels for my mother (Journey to the West, List of Gods, Romance of the Three Kingdoms, History of the Eastern Zhou Dynasty), as well as the new classical Chinese translation of western classics in Shanghai. Father also took a bust at six. This photo was hung on the wall near the big bed in the bedroom until his father died.

This was the last time my father went out, and he fell ill a year later.

Renyin Township Examination is a combination of Geng Zi and Xin Chou, and it is also the penultimate township examination held in the Qing Dynasty (the last time was Guimaosi), and Lu ranks ninth in the Chinese style of Renyin. Another Chinese style in the same town is Yan Huailin.

Father's illness for three years

As mentioned earlier, my father got malaria after taking the provincial examination in Hangzhou, and was treated with quinine. After returning to China, he got a minor illness.

Then my long-lived uncle passed away. My father and mother lived in my grandmother's house for nearly a month. My father had a low fever and night sweats when he went home first. He prescribed a prescription and took a few stickers himself, but it didn't work. Then my mother also went home. She felt very sad when she saw the expression on her father's face. She asked what the disease was, and his father said he was still groping.

It's not a cold or anything. This shows that the problem is complicated. My father prescribed a prescription by himself, using a medicine for warming and tonifying. My mother thought that the disease was caused by taking western medicine during the exam and stopped malaria, but the rest was unclear ... My mother saw that my father didn't listen, so she wrote several letters and invited my grandfather's favorite students (including Yao) to consult my father. Seven or eight people came, but more than half of them agreed with their mother. Dr Yao's opinion is similar to my father's. Finally, a compromise was adopted, or the original prescription was used and one or two drugs were added. After three or four posts, it is not bad or bad. Father still gets up every day, but he just feels tired easily.

Gradually, my mother became less anxious. She thinks it's not an emergency. She dragged on for several months, asking the doctor slowly, and probably wouldn't spoil it.

Because my mother said to find out what doctors do, my grandparents remembered something more than ten years ago. It turned out that my father had a strange disease when he was a child (about nine or ten years old), and he often had a low fever and night sweats. Many doctors were helpless at that time. After more than half a year's delay, I suddenly heard that there was a monk in this town (who was invited by a rich family in the town to see a doctor), who was good at Taisu pulse and was good at treating intractable diseases. At that time, the parties invited the monk to see a doctor and wrote a prescription, saying that they could take it for a long time and it would take effect after one month. Otherwise, he won't have to take the exam again. He can go to a temple in Hangzhou to find him.

I took the prescription for a month and it really worked. I used this prescription for half a year, and my illness was completely cured. This prescription is hidden under a big inkstone.

Father took the prescription and it really worked. Night sweats have stopped, and the fever is intermittent. Mother thinks this monk is really capable and is more eager to find him.

But just then, my brother (then three years old) suddenly became ill; Father opened it. It's no use eating it. Moreover, my brother was very ill and didn't eat for three or five days. My mother informed my grandfather's disciples again. So I came to consult again, changed the front and prepared a new agent. After taking the post twice, it was still ineffective, but the sick child gradually became weak in breathing. Mother insisted that his sixth uncle (Wei Qing) treat him. Considering that the old man hasn't seen a doctor for a long time, his mother invited him personally and said that she would at least bring him. Mother went by boat ... When the sun went down at noon, Su Xiang came in. Everyone is saying in their hearts, "Please don't even move your school sister this time", but they see her helping Lao Wei to go in slowly. Then, cried noisily. Tea has been set, Lao Wei sat down, listened to his father's simple and clear report on his brother's illness and treatment process, asked a sentence "Today is the eighth day", and then carefully looked at the parties before and after, so his mother helped him, and his father and Su Xiang went upstairs. After seeing the sick child, Lao Wei went downstairs and immediately wrote a prescription. After writing a few lines, he wrote it off and said to his parents, "A dead horse is a living horse doctor."

My father was stunned when he looked at the prescription. It turns out that this prescription is completely different from their prescription a few days ago. The two drugs with the largest dosage are winter melon seeds and winter melon skins.

After Lao Wei left, my father's brothers and sisters didn't leave, and we discussed a lot, but my mother had someone take the medicine and take it immediately after frying it. The guests all admired the determination of this "Chi Jie" and left one after another, saying that they would come back tomorrow to hear the good news. In fact, they are skeptical.

That night, my brother slept soundly I woke up in the middle of the night, ate two more, and woke up in the morning and said I was hungry. After three courses of treatment, the disease recovered. Mother quickly wrote a letter and signed her name with her father, thanking Lao Wei. Just want to send someone to send it, suddenly Axiu came in, followed by orb holding her grandmother. It turned out that my grandmother went to Hangzhou to burn incense, mainly to find the monk. After many years, I have visited all the temples in Hangzhou, and I don't know this monk.

Grandma sat down and told dad that she couldn't find the monk. Father said: Sure enough, the monk is wandering around, so don't fish for the moon in the water.

When I was about eight years old, my father was ill.

At first, my father struggled to get up every day, sat in the room reading for an hour or two, and then lay down. At that time, he was most interested in mathematics. He taught himself small algebra, big algebra, geometry and calculus (edited by Xie Hongtai when he was a newcomer), followed by books on sound, light, chemistry and electricity, and then books on history and geography of all countries in the world. I also read newspapers and periodicals advocating revolution run by students studying in Japan at that time.

It is the end of the year again. This time is usually the coldest time of the year in Wuzhen, and it often snows. The building structure in Wuzhen area has no heat preservation and heating equipment, so it is particularly cold. At this time, my father had to lie in bed all day, covered with thick silk quilt; He often lies with his legs crossed reading. Unexpectedly, the twelfth lunar month has passed, and the weather is getting warmer and warmer, but my father's legs can't lie flat, as if the tendons have become shorter because of long-term support. If others help to pull hard, it can still be leveled, but because dad has a painful expression on his face, mom can't bear it, so let him stand up.

In the summer after my father was bedridden, my grandmother personally made a wish at the Chenghuang Temple to let me play the role of a "prisoner" at the Huangcheng Conference on the fifteenth day of the seventh lunar month. This was a superstition in Wuzhen at that time: when there was a patient at home and the medicine was ineffective, superstitious people would make a wish to the town god, and when the town god went out for a meeting, they sent one of their children to dress up as a "prisoner" and go around the city with the team to show "atonement"; In this way, God will make the patient better.

At that time, there was a three-day Chenghuang Temple Fair in Wuzhen from July 15 to 17 of the lunar calendar every year, which was as grand as the Lantern Festival. The cost of going out for a meeting is shared by businesses of all sizes in the town (called "writing sparse"), and the neighborhood prepares "programs". The so-called "programs" are all kinds of colorful "looking up pavilions" and "local operas". "Juting" is a platform carried by four lean men, on which boys and girls dress up as various traditional Chinese opera characters, such as White Queen, Lv Dongbin, Cowherd and Weaver Girl. , surrounded by colored beads and lanterns. "Local Opera" is relatively simple. Pick dozens of men (no longer children), put on costumes, walk on the ground, and sometimes dance with broadswords and spears in their hands.

As usual, when going out to the Town God's Fair, a group of people will knock gongs to clear the way, and then the "pavilion-lifting" and "local operas" in the neighborhood will slowly pass by with the sound of gongs and drums. In the middle of the team is a big sedan chair carried by 16 people. There is a wooden city god statue in the sedan chair, painted with the color of God and wearing a robe of God. In front of the sedan chair, there is a big wooden sign of "avoidance" and "silence", which is very imposing. However, when the cart passed the Xiuzhen view next to my house, suddenly the sound of gongs and drums sounded, and the sedan chair people had to run together and cross the street quickly before Xiuzhen view. This is a well-known purpose, called "grabbing a sedan chair", because the concept of fixing truth is dedicated to the jade emperor, and the city god is a small official under the jade emperor. Of course, we can't preach the concept of truth in a big way, we can only run through it. Behind the big sedan chair of the city god, there are "pavilions" and "local dramas". Finally, the team of "prisoners" still wear ordinary clothes, but they all wear white cloth skirts and handcuffs. The so-called "handcuffs" are actually a pair of bracelets, both gold and silver, tied with belts and hung around the neck of the "prisoner". The whole team will March around the four gates of Wuzhen (southeast gate and northwest gate), and the "prisoners" will follow.

The year my grandmother asked me to play "Prisoner", I was nine years old, which was my favorite age. I am naturally very happy to attend the Huangcheng Fair in person. I walked around the four gates with the team for more than ten miles, but I didn't feel tired at all. But in hindsight, I don't think it counts, because the "prisoner" can only follow the end of the meeting, and all you can see along the way is the back of the "pavilion" in front and the people on both sides. It's really not interesting to watch the passing teams on the windowsill of my old house facing the street, and even the scene of "grabbing the sedan chair" can be clearly seen on the windowsill. In addition, although I was a "prisoner", my father's illness has not improved at all.

Mother has to watch her father day and night now. During the day, she often stood on her father's chest and showed him an open book. After reading one page, she turned to a new one. Father even finds it difficult to raise his hand and take a book at this time. He sighed himself and said, "Why, the bones and muscles are getting stiff little by little." Seriously, when he raised his hand trembling, his five fingers seemed to be uneven. When he lifted it, he felt "heavy" and had to put it down.

At that time, my brother lived in my grandmother Zhu Bao (Zhu Bao's aunt). ) Who cares? I go to Lizhi Primary School next door every day. I finish school at three o'clock every afternoon. When I get home, my mother teaches me to sit on the edge of the bed, hold a book and stand on my father's chest for him to read. At this time, my mother went downstairs to wash clothes, because my father was in bed and had to change clothes once a day.

One day, I was holding a book for my father to read, and my father suddenly said, "I don't want to read it." Stop for a while and say:

"Bring a knife." This refers to a steel knife for cutting melons and fruits in our room. It is rectangular, half a foot long and half an inch wide, with a wooden handle. I took a knife and asked, "What for?" Father said, "The nails are too long. Give me the knife. " I was surprised, too. How to use a knife to cut fingernails? But I still gave the knife to my father. Father looked at the knife in his hand for a while, and finally put it down and told me to take it away. My father stopped watching and asked me if my mother had finished washing. I went downstairs and saw that my mother had finished washing clothes, so I said to her, "Dad is going to cut his nails."

Mom went upstairs. Later, when I entered the room again, I saw my mother sitting by the bed, with her head down and her eyes a little red, as if she had cried. My father fell asleep at night, and my mother told me quietly that my father asked me to bring him a knife and he wanted to commit suicide. It turns out that my mother heard me say that my father can cut his nails, and he will cut his nails when he enters the room.

My father personally told my mother what he wanted to commit suicide just now. He said, "It's definitely hopeless to get sick. When will you drag on like this, won't it drag you down? " Moreover, he himself is getting impatient day by day, and he needs help from others in every move, which is also uncomfortable. My father told my mother that although I am not short of money for the time being, I know that I have a hard time and spend a lot of money on food every day. Isn't this albinism? It's best to save it and leave it to mother and us. The father also said: raising two children, the mother will do well without him. As long as she has money, her mother can do anything well. That's why my father wanted to kill himself.

According to my mother, my father finally agreed not to consider suicide. However, my mother was still worried, and earnestly told me to hide the knife and scissors in the future and never give them to my father again.

Every other day, my grandmother brought the sphere and Axiu. Grandmother said to her mother, "You said you kept it from your uncle for the time being, but I'm going to settle it." Father is puzzled. Grandma added, "It's not good for doctors to keep secrets from patients." Hearing this, my father guessed a few points and said, "What diseases can monks and Taoists cure?" Grandma said, "Not a monk, but a Japanese devil." So I explained everything in detail. It turned out that my mother heard that there was a west courtyard in Nanxun Town (about twenty or thirty miles away from Wuzhen, and many nouveau riche came out after the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom). The doctor is Japanese, so I asked my grandmother to try to inquire. Grandma sent Uncle Lu for a day and found that Japanese doctors in this hospital could make house calls. Consultation fee per day 10 yuan, plus food fee per day in 5 yuan. The cost of medicine is extra. If you come back to Wuzhen for three days, it will take about 50 yuan.

Father shook his head and said, "Why waste this money?" . The Japanese may not be able to cure this strange disease. "

Grandma said: Uncle, whether he can be cured or not, please come and see. More than fifty dollars, I am not the same thing.

Mom and Baozhu also helped to say. Father finally agreed. So, my mother wrote a letter to the hospital, asking the doctor to come to town five days later, and paid Ding Yang forty yuan.

At about ten o'clock, the doctor came, but a woman in her thirties, with an interpreter in her forties, and a female nurse in her twenties (from China). Grandma asked the translator, "Where's the doctor? Still on board? " The translator pointed to the Japanese woman and said that she was a doctor. Grandma is very unhappy and is about to have a seizure. Fortunately, her mother came down and said to her grandmother, "So do women. Please tell them to go upstairs. " So they all went upstairs and cleaned up a room.

The woman doctor was generous, took off her clogs, climbed into bed and began to diagnose. It's early summer and the temperature is very high.

The translator said that the patient should take off his coat. Mother and nurse Zhu Bao took off their father's coat together. After hearing the knock on the door as usual, the doctor pressed his father's chest and asked, "Does it hurt?" He pinched his father's arm joint and asked, "Does it hurt?" ? Father shook his head. The doctor mumbled something to the translator.

The translator said: It's time to take off your pants. Grandma listened and smiled. Zhu Bao was a little shy and stood a little far away. The mother and the nurse took off their trousers for their father. The doctor pressed his father's leg and said a few words to the translator.

Q: Can the patient's legs be straight? Has it always been set like this? Mother sighed and replied: more than a year.

The doctor put the stethoscope on the patient's stomach again, listened here and there for a long time, and then asked his father to lie on his side and listen to the stethoscope from top to bottom on his back. I squatted in bed for a while, looked at the patient with no meat, shook my head, got out of bed and said something to the translator. The translator said: After the diagnosis, go downstairs. Mother took a clip to cover her father and left Axiu in the room. They went downstairs together.

In the living room, grandma asked the doctor to wait for tea and asked: Is there a way to cure this disease? After consulting the doctor for a long time, the translator replied: The old lady understands that all the meat on the patient has fallen out, and I heard that the diet is as usual. Take care of this, and nothing will happen soon. Grandma asked again: what disease is this? The translator spoke to the doctor, picked up the pen and paper on the table and wrote two big characters: bone tuberculosis.

Mother was a little surprised to see that it was "tuberculosis" and asked the translator, "What is tuberculosis?" Translation answer: this is a consumption bug that gets into the bone.

Mother stopped asking. Grandmother and orb also don't make any noise, look big change.

The female nurse opened a big leather bag, and the doctor picked out two or three glass bottles containing pills and powder. The doctors each took a few, wrapped them into more than 20 bags and told the translator. Take a pack of this pill and powder every day.

Grandma went upstairs with her mother and Zhu Bao, and she also came forward. She went to her father's room together. Mom briefly said the doctor's diagnosis and asked dad, "Do you know what bone tuberculosis is?" My father thought for a long time and replied, "There is no such name in China's medical books. The worm of consumption is the local dialect. I read a book in western medicine, saying that the name of tuberculosis in western medicine is mycobacterium tuberculosis, which is a kind of bacteria and can move. I think it has metastasized to the bone marrow. There is no rule of law in this disease. The medicine given by Dr. Toyo is useless. "

Father was calm when he spoke. Grandma and Zhu Bao both cried. My father said with a smile, "I used to say that I came to see and learn about it, but now I know that it is an incurable disease." I am relieved. " But I don't know how many days I can live. I have many things to arrange in advance. "

From then on, my father stopped reading, but whispered something to my mother. After a day or two, my father said that my mother recorded it. Although I listened to it, I didn't understand its meaning. Mother cried while taking notes. After writing the notes, my mother read them again, and my father nodded and said, that's it. But my mother thought about it and said, I wrote this big event, and people will say it wasn't your idea. I'd better let my father-in-law write it. Hearing this, the father said with a wry smile, it's very thoughtful of you. So he asked me to invite my grandpa. After my grandfather came, my father didn't show him the manuscript written by my mother, but read it again and let my grandfather write it. I understood the last two sentences: Shen Bofan dictated and his father took notes. There is a year, a month and a day. Later, I learned that it was a will. The main points are as follows:

Unless there is a second reform, the general trend of China will be divided up by the great powers, both of which are bound to revitalize industry and need talents in science and engineering; If you don't want to be a conquered people in China, you can make a living abroad with the ability of science and engineering. My brother and I were also told not to misunderstand the meaning of freedom and equality. One day after making a will, my father asked my mother to sort out books; I gave all the medical books to others, but I kept the novel, but I pointed to Tan Sitong's Benevolence and said to me, "This is a wonderful book. You can't understand it now, but you will probably understand it in the future. "

From then on, my father stopped reading books on mathematics, but talked about state affairs every day, often talking about how Japan became a powerful country because of the Meiji Restoration. I am often encouraged: "A gentleman takes the world as his own responsibility." And explain the meaning of this sentence repeatedly. My mother wants me to be an ambitious person. As the saying goes, "the eldest brother is the father." What will happen to my brother in the future depends on what example I set.

The next summer, the climate was extremely hot. My mother saw that the two buildings originally prepared for my great-grandfather (called the new house at home) were empty at this time, so she asked someone to carry her father to live in a downstairs on the west side of the new house. Arrange for my brother and I to live in a downstairs near the east. In the late summer and early autumn of this year, my father died. When my father died, he didn't feel any pain and never woke up like he was asleep. When my mother called my father, I thought he was sleeping soundly, but the color on his face was gone. I felt my pulse and realized that my father had left his beloved wife and charming son for China, which he often missed for the second time.

My brother and I were writing, and we heard my mother screaming, so we went to find her to change clothes for my father. My brother and I both cried. After a while, the whole family came. Too many cooks want to help his mother. But my mother held her hand and burst into tears. Mother personally wiped her father's whole body with a hot towel, put on mourning clothes, and carefully propped up her father's legs.

Father's body moved downstairs to the east, usually in the reception room as a question. Mother always just swallows and sobs. It was not until grandma and orb came in crying that they burst into tears.

He died the next day because it was hot. After the funeral, my mother set up a small mourning hall in the house where my father died, with only a pair of vases and flowers often inserted. My father's picture is hanging outside. On both sides of the photo frame, mother Gong Kai wrote the following pairs: Young students recited Confucius and Mencius' words, long-term students studied acousto-optic electrification, worried about the country and the people, and sick people, but why did they die unsatisfied? Lovers are mentors and friends. After ten years of caring for each other, the hail is broken and the spring is red, and the whole body can not be redeemed. From now on, I swear to keep my last words and discipline my twins.

My father is thirty-four years old.

Click on the picture to read The Complete Works of Talking about Father.