I feel that something is wrong with me, like a dummy, and I live like a ghost. I feel dazzling in the hot sun and don't want others to see it.

If you are an ordinary person, you just have no sense of existence! You can try to plan your life macroscopically, what kind of person you want to be, what you want ..., and then get the life you want under the microscopic refinement. In fact, life is only a few decades. Are you happy? It's good.

If you are a thoughtful person, that's fine, but the world doesn't understand you, and in Nietzsche's words, you are lonely at a higher level, not because he wants to, but because you can't find the same kind around others! !