Classic dialogues in Stephen Chow's movies and TV plays? Detailed, thank you! Plus points!

1. Actually, I am an actor (king of comedy)

2. Xiao is the size of Xiao Li's flying knife, Li is the Li of Xiao Li's flying knife, Fei is Xiao Li's flying knife, and the knife is Xiao Li's flying knife (made in China).

I'll take you (A Chinese Odyssey)

4, you go back to Mars, the earth is very dangerous (shaolin soccer)

5. I admire you like a surging river, like the Yellow River burst its banks (the duke of mount deer)

6. Can you be professional? (king of comedy)

7. Chickens are patriotic (Jigong)

8. In ancient times, Guan Yunchang played chess and scraped bones for healing. Look at a bullet in 007 (domestic 007) today.

9, one township, two Li * * * three masters do not know the four books, five classics and six changes. It is bold to teach seven or eight children. Ten rooms, nine poverty, eight two seven money, six points, five points and four points, half-hearted (Tang Bohu ordered Qiuxiang)

10, wife, Niu Wangmo, stop arguing and come out to see God! (A Chinese Odyssey)

1 1. Do you need a reason to like someone? Need it? Don't you need it? Need it? (A Chinese Odyssey)

12, people are born by his mother, and demons are born by his mother. As long as you have a kind heart, you are no longer a demon, but a shemale? (A Chinese Odyssey)

13. What's your mother's name? (A Chinese Odyssey)

14, Wukong, you are naughty again. How can you talk to sister Guanyin like this? (A Chinese Odyssey)

15, even a pair of underwear and a roll of toilet paper have their uses (domestic 007)

16 Do you think I can't find you if I hide here? It's no use. No matter where you are, an excellent person is as famous as a firefly in the dark. With your melancholy eyes, sparse beard, fantastic knife work and that dry martini, you will always be my unique and personable pork prince (made in China).

17, Leonardo da Vinci: I found a part-time job and did research work in the central mental hospital. Q: Responsible for what?

Da Vinci question and answer: being studied! (domestic 007)

18, I am the embodiment of beauty and wisdom, hero and chivalry ... Tang Bohu (Tang Bohu points Chou-heung)

19, I'm up and down hundreds of thousands a second, can I play football with you? (shaolin soccer)

20. Sir, your forehead is full of bones, your eyes are bright, immortals are reincarnated, and immortals come down to earth. I finally waited for you, so don't go. Although I let the cat out of the bag and disaster was inevitable, I was doomed. Even if I have to take a big risk, I will show you the complete image (God of Food).

2 1, didn't pick the basket, too fine, failed; The pigskin was cooked so badly that it failed without biting the end. Pig blood is rotten and scattered as soon as it is caught, which is a failure in failure; The worst thing is the large intestine, which is not cleaned at all, and there is still shit in it. Are you kidding? (gourmet)

In this play, she fully shows the shyness and frustration of a wife abandoned by her husband. No matter in eyes, expressions, actions and behaviors, she can play a subtle and incisive role, especially in the final action of falling off the horse, which can better show postmodernism and strong criticism of this society (spy)

In fact, I am a well-proportioned and graceful juggler who changes the social atmosphere, charms thousands of girls, stimulates the film market and enhances the connotation of young people. My name is Gu Jing, and my English name is Gu Jing!

I want you to meet Pizad's boyfriend. Bad and ugly hair style, little money, no schooling, average sexual ability, but all good looks. Ha ha laugh ..

Water is famous for picking up girls countless times, and it is a thorn in all our men. His elegant posture exudes attractive charm, which makes all girls irresistible. His heartbreaking eyes, no matter how cold and arrogant a woman is, will be melted by his gentle eyes. He is recognized as the lover of the neighborhood and the soul of the tea restaurant. Everyone knows him-Prince Egg Tower.

He is proud, but kind-hearted. He keeps a low profile, but he is admired by thousands of people. He can cook a super dish called the art of fire with the fire given by God to mankind. Is he the incarnation of the immortal? Or the Hellscream? No one knows, but what is certain is that everyone gives him a title-food ~ ~ Oh, my God!

Is that really the case? ! What I said cannot be broken! Not bad! I am Tang Bohu who pays equal attention to beauty and wisdom, and I am the embodiment of hero and chivalry!

Sweeping the floor is only my superficial work. My real identity is a research monk.

Sir: I'm a left Qinglong and a right white tiger. The old cow is at the waist and the faucet is at the chest. If people don't kill people, the Buddha won't kill the Buddha!

The poor monk is the abbot of Shaolin Temple, whose legal name is wet dream. Amitabha, I came and went with the wind. ...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. All right! To tell you the truth, I'm Pan An in the jade tree breeze, and I'm the little prostitute Zhou with plum blossoms pressing Haitang!

With your wisdom, can I scare you?

I'm not afraid to tell you, I've seen UFOs since BB, which is what the world calls UFOs and UFOs. You got it? When I was 4 years old, I saw the legendary Loch Ness monster again. I talked with bigfoot in the Himalayas and guessed spring. Plus, I play roller coasters every morning, pirate ships at night, pirate ships in the morning, roller coasters at night and pirate ships many times at dusk. Let me tell you something.

Sir, you have bones on your forehead, light in your eyes, immortal reincarnation, immortal descent. I finally waited for you. Don't move. Although I let the cat out of the bag and disaster is inevitable, it's my destiny takes a hand. Even if I have to take a big risk, I'll let you see the whole picture.

Ah! The master's thinking is really like sailing against the current, and he is worthy of being a king with thoughts.

All right! He stuffed it in without thinking, and he deserves to be a swinger. I love you! ! !

Do you think I can't find you if I hide? It's no use! An excellent person like you is as bright and outstanding as a firefly in the dark, no matter where you are. Your melancholy eyes, your sparse beard, your magical knife technique and that dry martini all fascinated me deeply. However, although this is excellent, there are rules. Anyway, you have to pay for last night's accommodation. Don't you have to pay that woman?

Eliminating violence and safety is our obligation as citizens, and doing good deeds and accumulating virtues is also my own interest. So I help the old lady cross the street once a week, and I will do it three or four times on Sundays and public holidays.

No! This is not an ordinary box, it is the god in the box, referred to as the box god!

Good is rewarded with good, and evil with evil. There is a natural cycle, and the weather is beautiful. I once caught a dragon and a phoenix by mistake. The emperor caught me today, which is really instructive. My admiration for the emperor is like a raging river and an uncontrollable Yellow River.

What about his martial arts? It's called nine days and ten places. Bodhisattva shook her head in fear and split the golden lightning palm! Within 100 miles from Fiona Fang, people, animals, shrimps, crabs and fleas all flew to Huasong!

I tell you, to deal with this kind of woman, we must use condescending eyes and strong arms to save her from the ocean of desire.

Humiliate and beg for forgiveness:

With your wisdom, it is difficult for me to explain to you!

Shit, you are a piece of shit. Life is cheaper than ants. I drive a Mercedes, you pick your nose. Eat! ? Eat shit!

The alkaline water surface has not been chilled, so it is full of alkaline water. Fish balls also have no fishy smell, but in order to hide it, you specially added curry juice to make curry fish balls. But it's naive, because you haven't cooked enough time. The taste of curry is only on the surface, not at all. Fish balls will be diluted when they are put into soup. A good curry fish balls will keep you from tasting fish and curry. Defeat Never pick carrots, too much muscle, failure! The pigskin was so badly cooked that it didn't bite the head. Defeat Pig blood will rot, disperse and fail when it is caught! The worst thing is the large intestine, which is not cleaned at all, and there is a lump of shit. Are you mistaken? Hey, shit. Hey, shit. Did you get a look at him? Hey, shit!

Ridiculous! I dare say that in front of me, no one dares to pretend, please be quiet!

Haircuts shouldn't be crazy. You should cooperate! Look at your hairstyle, it doesn't match your face, your figure, your hairstyle, it doesn't match at all! ! Brother Huan! What exactly do you want?

what did you say ? /Excuse me? You can tell such a lie? Do you have a conscience? I'm sorry about your parents, right? Is it worthy of this country? Hold a press conference to clarify, or I will skin you, tear your bones and drink your blood!

Elder sister, you are not afraid of being laughed at, or even the dog will faint.

There is nothing wrong with you. It was your parents who made you like this.

Do you want to? When is it my turn to think? !

Don't blame me for being too frank! It's insignificant that you want to take my life. ! ! !

It's really disappointing. Hearing your voice, I think you are a very emotional and imaginative person. Look at you all over, I know you have no connotation.

Wife of shop-owner: If you have a son, you won't have an asshole. Dad sells assholes You suck ass and love chicken ass. Big ass, you don't have your own business, and you bother me?

Mother-in-law: You don't have to make trouble. I will expose my life. I died at the age of three, four, five, six, seven or eight, ten, eleven, and your man was hooked by me.

Bao Longxing: You have lemon head, mouse eyes, aquiline nose, eight eyebrows, protruding ears, big mouth, old Qiang teeth, wick neck, high and low shoulders, long and short hands, chicken breast, dog belly and useless waist. If I were you, I would have killed myself.

Bohu, don't be so awesome, okay? I swear, if I gamble again in the future, I will let the ugliest woman in the world gang-rape every night until she is in pieces and shaky. Is it okay?

Two girls, have pity on me. My family of six died overnight. I'm infected with 10 consumption. You can buy me.

Fate is really unfair. Why did I lose my hair when I was so handsome? You are so ugly, but don't lose your hair.

Why do you treat me like a pig? Let me sleep as soon as you see me.

Self-describing narrative class:

You go first. I'll leave when my legs are not so shaky and my heart is not so chaotic.

More than 30 years ago, when I was in middle school, I really thought about her all the time. Sometimes I suddenly stop urinating, and then I think of her, and when I feel sweet, I forget the half-bubble urine.

The bullet entered my thigh bone, compressed my aorta and blocked my trigeminal nerve. Now the left brain is paralyzed by hypoxia and the right side is paralyzed. I have to cut the wound with a knife and take out the bullet.

I mean, this method of mine is a distracted and lovely hometown used by Hua Tuo, an ancient imperial doctor. In ancient times, Guan Yunchang concentrated on playing chess and scraping bones to cure poison. Today, I was addicted to watching porn to dig bones and get warheads, and I started-

As soon as he received the first blow, he cut his forehead to his nose. Then, right in front of his stall, his tail keel was cut several times, and two tendons were broken, which suppressed the trigeminal nerve and affected the central system of the brain, even his teeth came out.

After beheading the head of a chicken, burning yellow paper, and bleeding for the alliance, Wei Xiaobao, you are my brother in the Heaven and Earth Society, and temporarily incorporated into Aoki Hall. We have ten commandments, twenty commandments, thirty commandments and eighty commandments. If you commit one of them, even if you are my apprentice, you will die with a knife.

But in this way, I am a person with complicated feelings. If a person with complicated feelings only loves you, he will become emotionally defective. Even if you have a person with emotional defects, it's no use.

Wang Cai ... Wang Cai ......

Wang Cai, you can't die. Wang Cai, you have followed me for so many years, and you are affectionate and sincere to me. But now I haven't even let you eat a full meal. Sorry, Wang Cai!

Xiao Qiang! Xiao Qiang, what's wrong with you Xiao Qiang? Xiao Qiang, you can't die! You and I have lived together for so many years, and have been teaching you to raise you as your own flesh and blood. Unexpectedly, today, white-haired people send black-haired people!

Category of short sentences:

Madam, I used to live near Suzhou.

There is a house and a field at home, and it is endless. Who knows that Tang Bohu, he is outrageous and ruthless, colluding with officials to look down on heaven, occupying my big house and my land. My grandfather turned against him and he hit him with a stick. My grandmother called him a liar, but he caught him in the Tang family a hundred times. Finally, she hanged herself and hated the world. He also kicked my father and son out of the house and drifted to the river. In order to support my father, I had to beg alone in front of the temple. Who knows that Tang Bohu is so insidious that he didn't know this situation, so he sent someone to plot against him and beat my father and son in front of the whole city. The little man was strong and his life was saved. Poor father, he's dead! This kind of hate is harder to fill. In order to bury my father, I had to sell myself as a slave, making money and reading articles at the same time.

Swear to fame and fortune, the enemy is strong! Since then, Tang Yin's poems have been with me, and I remember this hatred is not shameful! ! !

On a dark and horrible night in a month, I am the Supreme Treasure, and you are Bai Jingjing. Wonderful love begins with this little fire on the bridge. As soon as I turned around, you suddenly pointed at me and my whole hand caught fire. You have to fight for me, fight for it, fight for it, fight for it, fight for it, fight for it, fight for it, fight for it, fight for it, do you see? I can describe the future development in twists and turns, because A Niu Wang Mo suddenly appeared. At that time, after you hit Niu Wangmo with the bone in your hand, you took me back to Pansi Cave. The so-called time flies, it is really good, because it just reached its climax in the blink of an eye. On the broken rock, when feelings broke out, I desperately touched you, and you desperately touched me, making a vow of never parting. Unfortunately, happiness is always short-lived, and what you get is infinite pain and sigh. Why did you die? I only use the box of moonlight to turn back the clock and find out the truth. Finally, I know that you committed suicide! At the last minute, I hope to save your life! But the last time I went back in time, the Moonlight Box was broken, and I went back to 500 years ago in an instant … that's it.

Conversation class:

A: It has been ten years. I thought this country had forgotten me.

B: No way. Even a pair of underwear and a piece of sanitary paper have their uses.

A: Really, if I lie to you, you promise my son has no asshole.

B: If you look like this, you won't have an asshole when you give birth to a son. Even if there is, it's a deformed asshole!

Who are you?

B: Jianghu is dangerous. I never leave my name easily.

Answer: since you refuse to leave your name, you have to leave a head!

I have been lonely all my life. The only person who lives alone is this head. I'm afraid it's not that easy for you to take it away!

A: OK! You forced me. I want to dye this sea with your blood.

B: I've been wandering all my life, just like a lonely boat in Wang Yang, and I've already put life and death out of my mind.

Other categories:

Sorry, I'm undercover.

You can't see me, you can't see me, you can't see me. ......

Surprised? Are you happy? Are you happy?

Sorry, director. hum ......

According to the background and personality of the character, I want to be naughty in rhythm during the later performance, but it is a bit contradictory. what do you think?

According to Stanny Slavski, a master of Russian drama theory, take pain as an example. It should reflect from the outside to the inside and then from the inside. Come on, you try to do it again now.

Impossible, silly sister's old * *' > * * The eldest brother's son said yes.

Talking about money hurts feelings! But the way, our brothers have no feelings for you. Let's talk about money directly.

It doesn't matter whether you have money or not, but at least be a respected person! (Change the subject)-I'd rather have money. ......

You are all women, so why kill each other? Even chickens are patriotic.

Hurry back to Mars, the earth is very dangerous.

If you want to scare me, you can't fall to the ground. I'm afraid of everything and ghosts!

Wonderful dialogue on a Chinese Odyssey:

What's your mother's name?

You scared me again!

Be careful! It thundered! It's raining to collect clothes!

Talk to me? Are you talking to me? Wrong person!

Wukong, how can you talk to sister Guanyin like this?

Alas, literature is not good, nor is martial arts. You don't want to be a mountain thief. Do you want to be a champion?

Oh-! If you talk like that, I can sue you for slander, ha!

Save it! Change your image and be a promising mountain thief!

I am a western soldier after all. If you let me kiss you, I will. Then my image is not completely ruined!

Brother, how can a rational person like me accept such a ridiculous thing?

Why did you shave off your beard? Do you know that you have no personality without a beard?

It's been a long night and I don't want to sleep. I thought I was the only one who couldn't sleep. It turns out Jingjing can't sleep either!

Cut the crap! You chased me for three days and nights, and I won't kill you because you are a woman. Don't think I'm afraid of you!

Look at you, sneaking around, making a fool of yourself, wearing long hair and putting on airs. How can you come out with me, huh?

I used to call people Britney Spears when I watched the moon with them, but now the new one is better than the old one. I call them Mrs. Niu!

I just woke up and did nothing outside, so I stopped by to learn from my teacher. You suddenly told me you were getting married ... I haven't brushed my teeth yet!

Who said I was cross-eyed? I just focused on one thing to change my previous view of things. Why? I can't make a rumor. Do you want to sit in my seat?

Is Xia Zi an exclamation point or a period in your mind? Is your mind full of question marks?

Do you need a reason to love someone? Don't you need it? Need it? Hey, I'm studying with you. Why are you so serious?

How many brothers and sisters do you have? Are your parents still alive? To say a word, I just want to make one more friend before I die.

People and goblins are born of mothers, different people are born of people's mothers, and demons are born of demons. ......

Therefore, being a demon is like being a human being. You must have a kind heart. With a kind heart, you are no longer a demon, but a shemale.

I can't stand you! You are so ugly, do me a favor, everyone is a fairy, and stop sexually harassing me, okay?

As far as wisdom and martial arts are concerned, I have always been a little taller than him, but now there is a Xia Zixian, and I am afraid he is a little taller than me. It is because of you that he is a little taller than me!

Wukong wants to eat me. This is just an idea. It hasn't been realized yet. You have no proof. What crime did he commit? Why don't you wait for him to eat me and you can prove it, so it's not too late to convict him!

You can stab me, Wukong. There is no sorrow in life and no pain in death. When you understand that you have given up your life for justice, you will naturally come back and sing this song with me! Amitabha, Amitabha, Amitabha. ......

Be sure to explain clearly! So I have to get the Moonlight Box back and take you back to explain it to them. I don't care what others say about me, and I'm not afraid that thousands of Qian Qian people will revile me in the future. I want to take it alone.

Did everyone see it? This guy talks about his mother-in-law all day. It seems that there is a fly. Hum … Sorry, it's not one. It's a bunch of flies around you. Hum … Hum … Fly to your ear. Help!

So I grabbed the fly, burst its belly, pulled out its intestines, and then grabbed his neck with its intestines and pulled hard, oh! The whole tongue is sticking out! I'll start over! The whole world is clean. Now everyone understands why I killed him!

Wow! Dude, is your makeup called the Monkey King? Give me some professionalism, will you? You see, those hairs are split, and they look like they are wearing two pieces of rice cakes on their heads. Going out to eat costs some money! what are you reading? Your makeup is disgusting! Angry at me. That's what I said!

Do you want it? Wukong, how can I know what you want if you don't tell me? Although you look at me sincerely, you still have to tell me what you want. Do you really want it? Then you can take it! You don't really want it, do you? Do you really want it?

Hey hey hey! Don't be angry, everyone. Anger will offend you! Wukong, you are too naughty. I told you not to throw things around. Why did you ... you threw the stick away before I finished! Moonlight box is a treasure. If you throw it away, it will pollute the environment. What if you hit a child? Even if you can't hit children, it's wrong to hit those flowers and plants!

Alas, the size of that diamond ring is too bad. The front is heavy and the back is light, and the left is wide and the right is narrow. He is very uncomfortable after wearing it, and he can't sleep all night, which will bring trouble to me! Although he is a monkey, you can't do this to him. The government will accuse me of animal cruelty! Speaking of diamond rings, I met a blacksmith in Chenjiacun last year. He is exquisite in workmanship and reasonable in price. He is innocent. How about I introduce you to order another one?

You should do this. I should die. Once there was a sincere love in front of me. I didn't cherish it, and I regretted it when I lost it. The most painful thing in the world is this. Cut your sword on my throat! Don't hesitate any longer! If God can give me another chance, I will say three words to that girl: I love you. If I have to add a time limit to this love, I hope it is ... ten thousand years!