Looking for the full text of Lulu's "Fast Red"

Author: Lulu published on February 28th, 2003.

one

July.

I don't know how I came to such a city.

The sky is blue because of backward industry, but what you smell is not the exciting smell of grassland. The horses regarded as coolies here are dirty and thin, far less vigorous and fat than the horses on the grassland. 2 1 century, the carriage is still on the road, for fear of being wronged by a horse's empty name-we must make it worthy of the name. From time to time, the naive farmers in the car let the horses spill hot urine on the road to moisten the dry air in this northern city.

Not many people live in small places, but too many people are redundant because of the same temperament. The streets are full of women wearing worn-out stockings and inferior lipstick, so the men in this city are even worse. People are sickly, elegant and like to make a mountain out of a molehill. They are keen to talk about vegetable prices, weather forecasts and Sino-US relations, and they are tireless. After dinner, people sat around and talked about the erotic history of a leader and a popular female star. After that, everyone scolded his mother together and went home.

The economic base determines the superstructure. There are unsold overdue books in the bookstores here, and only the kiosks that rent martial arts romance novels have been trampled on. Internet cafes operating at crawling speed advertised the nth intimate contact, and young people who dropped out of school were chatting enthusiastically on behalf of senior OICQ. Don't expect to buy genuine tapes or CDs in any store. The most extravagant thing is to watch a pirated DVD slowly elsewhere. The desolation of cultural market is as obvious as the poverty of material life.

Donkey meat is very popular here, and you can also buy cheap corn and watermelon. Boiling water tastes bad. I always suspected that drinking the water here would make me ugly. Tap water is to extract groundwater, which is very cool and suitable for the sultry summer here. This is my only satisfaction. In the rental house where I live, all kinds of birds and animals, except electric lights, are batteries. The neighbor's ten-year-old child can wipe his nose on the public toilet door. But I have established a good friendship with fatty. He often lends me his bike behind his stingy parents' backs, and I often buy him ice cream.

It is such a place with chronic killing effect, but I must spend a summer here, because no one will think I am here.

I need some peace.

two

In this area where I live, people like to eat street barbecues on summer nights. A series of families formed one, and the smoke made that day hot and spicy. The best business is "Liu Sanjie Barbecue".

The boss is a man, not surnamed Liu. Local, no more than 25 years old. I am surprised that such feng shui has produced such excellent people. But he didn't realize that he looked like Gregory peck because he was too busy. He is always naked in shorts, fanning the fire desperately with a broken fan, constantly sprinkling seasoning on the mutton string and turning it over. When the smoke stung his eyes, he suddenly closed his eyes and shed tears, then he was all right. And the hand doesn't stop, just occasionally vacate a hand to wipe the sweat quickly. I can see that he just deliberately hides himself, not forced by life. He must think it's fun to dress up in a mess and cook a barbecue.

The boss's girlfriend is very beautiful and tacky. But she is a very special person like the boss. Her rudeness seems to be intentional, and she accepts it frankly. Later, I learned that she was born in a regular college art class and knew a lot besides Gauguin Raphael. She once said to me while touching the nail polish residue, "I have a low personality, so I can't use ink." These are the words of Qu Yuan. I belong to the' ambition school' and can't draw. Hehe, fortunately, I am very cheerful. " Then she looked at her boyfriend with deep eyes and smiled contentedly.

Their living conditions are perfectly integrated with this tacky city, but they are free from this troubled secular world and happy. To say advanced is to accumulate the spirit of Apollo and Dionysus, and to say popular is to play a beautiful edge ball with this absurd world. Only when I saw them did I know that life could be so simple. Perhaps this is the way philosophers tell people to survive: to do things with the attitude of joining the WTO and to be a man with the attitude of being born. I know that the stories of these two people are enough to write novels. But I didn't ask around. Chatting with this tacit couple always makes me have a pleasant evening. That's enough.

When I left, I couldn't help asking why they named the shop Liu Sanjie. It turned out that when they went to register, people misheard the sound and recorded it. It means "diaspora knot".

three

I do nothing all day. Wandering in the street by bike, let the sun tan your skin a little masochistically. After all, it is a strange city that does not belong to me. Even in such a small place, I can still get lost again and again. I can always get it back anyway, and I'm happy to ride it slowly.

One particularly chaotic night, I rode my bike into a school. This is an unknown university, but because it is the only one, it looks noble and powerful like the last island trapped in a Wang Yang. It's already a holiday, and some people are staying. The small library at night looks solemn, and the soft lights make people calm. I parked my car on the track of the playground, sat in the stands and put my hand in front of the guardrail.

There are one or two couples on the playground under the stars, hugging and kissing, or just walking hand in hand on the playground. This reminds me of leaves. What is she doing now? Will she worry about me, too? This really annoys me a little. I still can't do what I promised her I know there are many people chasing her in her university, but she has been waiting for me unmoved. She's going to be a junior, but my ... chest hurts.

I kicked my bike down and ran on the playground.

At the top of one end of the stand sat some boys, lighting candles and singing while playing the guitar. Sing and run with me on the playground. I ran past them, heard their unbridled laughter and threw empty bottles on the runway at will. They sang very well, including Chyi Chin's Wolf, Zero's Loneliness and BEYOND's Really Love You. These students may not have a bright future, but they are really happy. Their happiness deeply infected me. This is my ideal university, with a group of enthusiastic, free and romantic musical teenagers. At the age of 20, I should have been one of them. I missed many such nights because of the unreality, and I want to enjoy it tonight.

I jumped into the stands and said to the naked boy, "Brother, can you lend me your guitar?" They were not surprised at my rash request. They welcomed me and listened to me play and sing with great interest. I dialed a few mottled guitars, thought about it, and played a song that I once played to the leaves on the phone. Actually, this time, I'm still playing for her.

Did you hear that voice/as if I was drifting away/telling you that it was from my heart/carrying an old song/whispering to you/I don't care if the flowers bloom in spring, summer, autumn and winter/making the night deeper and deeper/you are getting heavier and heavier in my heart/I can't turn over and be my own master/making the lights dim/you are getting more and more real in my eyes/you can see the dust on your face/making the sky bluer and bluer/making the sky.

four

I left home in such a hurry that I only had a pair of shoes on my feet. This pair of sneakers worth 800 yuan happens to be what I wear. Only then did I realize that I had really walked too much and been away from home for too long. A little sad. In order to stop feeling sorry for myself, I immediately gave it to Little Fatty 10 yuan and used the money to buy a pair of slippers.

I mentioned my sneakers to the street stall to mend them. Thinking that I haven't cut my hair for a long time, I went to the barber's and had it cut again. When I walked into the barber shop and saw my brakes clearly in the clear and bright mirror, I was a little surprised at my sloppy and decadent. Really like a homeless abandoned dog. The difference is that I just chose to leave.

I ran away from home because I failed in the college entrance examination. This year is the second failure. Because I want to enter Peking University, the highest institution in the dreams of all liberal arts students, and the university where Ye is located. I have been proud and stubborn since I was a child. I believe I will succeed as long as I am willing to do it. However, the college entrance examination! College entrance examination! College entrance examination! I can never cross this obstacle! I can't cross this barrier, can I?

I'm afraid to look at myself in the mirror. Two years' re-reading life has aged me a lot. Two failures hurt my self-esteem and dampened my spirit. I don't know why I'm so unlucky and why I still can't do my best. I want to make a hullabaloo about. I want to escape from this helpless world at once. I close my eyes.

When I opened it again, my hair had been cut. I see myself in the mirror, clean, fresh and full of vitality. The barber shook the white cloth in his hand and smiled and said to me, "This young man is very handsome no matter how he cuts it!" " "Yes, young, young, I am still very young. I kept repeating the word young, and my heart began to widen. Young-very good, let me feel that everything is firmly in my hands.

I hate my failure. To be honest, I'm still scared. However, I never regretted it. Never. Isn't it? I gave up my second university and chose my two fruitless repeat studies. I don't regret it. The interest of life lies in the design and choice of one's own life process, and in the arrangement of not admitting defeat, not asking for mercy and not giving in to fate. And because we are young, we have more capital to resolutely resist. There's nothing to be upset about. The bloom of youth makes me tired but I don't regret it. That's what the song says, and that's what I think.

I feel like a new man.

When I went to the stall to get shoes, the old man who repaired shoes found a ticket and two pieces of paper fell to the ground when he asked me for money. Wow, it's actually two lottery tickets. The old man picked up the lottery ticket, folded it carefully and put it in his pocket near his chest. Then, he gave me money and smiled shyly at me. I looked at that pocket, where there was the dream of the old man who repaired shoes and changed his fate. I smiled, too, at him and at myself.

five

After a night of heavy rain, on a cool morning, I decided to climb the mountain.

The mountains around this city appear before my eyes every day. It is said that it is also a scenic spot in this city, and there are some allusions, but I have never been interested. Today's humid air makes that mountain look particularly delicate and beautiful. I want to have a look. The mountain is not high, there is no danger of Huashan, and there is no show of Huangshan. But when I reached the high place on the shady side, I saw some snow. How is that possible? I immediately thought of a movie starring Gregory Peck: The Snow of Kilimanjaro.

That is a film based on a novel by my favorite writer Hemingway. At the beginning of the novel, a leopard froze to death on Kilimanjaro Snow Mountain. The snow in front of us is like a leopard. Just to enjoy the scenery on the mountain, they all stubbornly came to their desperate situation. Therefore, ordinary snow has become noble. Therefore, the sleeping leopard fell down, lonely but solemn. Life is really an incredible thing.

Going up again, I saw a big stone engraved with words. I know it was an inscription written by a passionate general in the history books: there are so many beautiful mountains and rivers. The vigorous and powerful font confidently declares what seems to be a sentence outside the words: the past is over, count the romantic figures and look at the present. Look at the city at the foot of the mountain. There are many buildings and cars, and people who practice in the world are in a hurry. From a distance, they are all exquisite, energetic and full of vitality. Those self-righteous novelists, who can say that those who live seriously are busy outside their souls? Even if they are indifferent to poverty, even if they are fighting for fame and fortune, it is their own choice and will not be shaken by others.

When I went down the mountain, my steps were brisk.

I think I should go home.