I am a pessimist, what should I do?

Pessimism is a negative outlook on life as opposed to optimism. It is a pessimistic attitude, viewpoint and theory towards the universe, society and life. As opposed to "optimism". From Latin pessimiis, which means "the worst". As a world outlook and outlook on life, people think that the world is changeable and people are doomed to suffer, so they fall into pessimism and despair, and even think that life is worse than death in an attempt to transcend reality in order to get rid of and be saved. As an ethical concept, it often holds the theory of moral degeneration. That evil is always dominant, good is meaningless, and moral value lies in the desire to destroy. Usually, the world outlook, outlook on life and ethics of some social groups or declining classes have lost the value of historical existence. It believes that evil is the decisive force to rule the world, and life is doomed to disaster and distress; Kindness and justice are meaningless, and the value of morality lies in extinguishing desire.

Value definition of pessimism: For the sake of self-interest, people often have different preferences for different things, which are basically preferences for different value types. Different "ism" reflects people's value choice tendency for different types of things.

1, I don't believe that I have enough behavioral ability to bear and weaken the adverse effects of negative values on myself, nor do I believe that I can make positive values play a greater role;

2. I think negative value has a great negative effect on myself, while positive value has a very limited positive effect on myself;

3. He only cares about the negative value of things and doesn't care about the positive value of things, so as to avoid the maximization of negative value as the selection criterion of his behavior plan;

It is easy to see the bad side of things, but it is not easy to see the good side of things. Slow to respond to gains and sensitive to losses. Its behavior decision-making always follows the value selection principle of "taking the small as the big".

5, lack of confidence in the positive motivation of human behavior, or lack of confidence in the positive results of human management.

6. When encountering unpleasant things, pessimists often blame themselves.

Optimism, openness and magnanimity, regardless of details, embodies a kind of tolerance, a kind of mind and a kind of realm. Open-minded people also extend the width of the aura. Too mean people make the gas field narrower and narrower, and then narrow enough for only one person, while open-minded people can make the gas field wider and wider to accommodate the whole world. An open-minded person is a wise person, because he can make a heavy life easier, turn sadness into happiness, and turn helplessness into peace.

1, when you are sad about your own experience, you might as well think of those who are more unfortunate than yourself. When you are depressed, you might as well go to orphanages, nursing homes and hospitals. In these places, you will see that there are many unfortunate people in the world besides your own pain. Contact these unfortunate people and compare their attitudes towards misfortune, and you will understand what is a correct attitude and what is optimism.

2. Infect yourself with happy and inspiring music, books and movies. If possible, get along with people with positive attitudes. After all, a positive attitude is contagious. Don't spend all your time at work, spend more time savoring life and chatting with friends and relatives.

3. Speak in a positive and pleasant way. For example, instead of saying "I'm exhausted", say "It's good to relax after a busy day".

4. Cherish your life. Nothing in the world is more precious than life. Don't think that you will be relieved if you stop breathing. After all, this is something that has not been proved by facts. However, living can change everything and tide over the difficulties. This is a truth that has been proved by countless people through countless practices. A positive attitude will help you get out of trouble.

5. Participate in beneficial recreational and educational activities. Take part in mainstream activities more, instead of turning yourself into a full-fledged but negative person.

6. Psychological clinic proves that psychological problems can be physical, that is, psychological discomfort can cause physical discomfort. Conversely, only by having a healthy body can you have a good mood.

7. Live with a positive attitude every day. Live with hope every day, communicate with others with a smile and show others your positive attitude.

8. Self-suggestion is usually accompanied by positive mental hints. Positive mental cue refers to the language that can inspire us to think and act positively. It has no fixed pattern, such as "I believe I can do it, and I will do it." "Act now and your dream will come true!" Wait a minute. With the increasing frequency of using these sentences, they will gradually blend into our body and mind, forming a powerful force, allowing us to maintain a positive attitude, restrain a negative attitude, and finally succeed.

I hope it helps you!

Realizing this is the beginning of change!

From the perspective of development, a person's world outlook can be changed with self-growth.

For example, you can do "three good" exercises. The specific operation is as follows:

Write at least three things that make you feel good every day and give reasons. This kind of good thing means that all the little things that make you feel good count.

For example, you open the door for someone, or someone does a small thing for you, or you eat a delicious meal, and so on.

This exercise needs to be persisted every day!

In addition, carefully recall the three things that touched you most in your life, and the more detailed the description, the better!

Third, carefully recall the things in your life that make you feel great or proud. The more detailed the description, the better!

Fourth, help others more, such as joining the volunteer team!

You are a pessimist. What should you do? I'm telling you, one, compare with people who are not as good as you. You have 100 yuan, and if you feel less, your life will be sad. You can go to the streets to see beggars, vagrants, rags and homeless people, and you will feel that you are ok. Second, if you have nothing to do, go to the hospital, especially the cancer hospital, to see others and then look at yourself. Are you happy? Third, watch more comedies, movies and TV plays, and watch more inspirational historical stories. Fourth, spend more time with people who are warm, cheerful and smiling, and less with people who are gloomy and sighing. Five, nothing to go out for a walk, travel, see the sunrise, see the mountain flowers, see the ever-changing world, the mood will gradually get better. Do more good deeds and help others. You will feel better when others thank you. Don't be pessimistic when you encounter work problems or family problems. To understand this truth, if God closes a door for you, he will open another window for you, because God never closes a door, but he will open another door. So don't be pessimistic, look for and do more from the methods I said, and you will definitely get out of the pessimistic environment.

This hat must be taken off!

Because you are probably just a sensitive group, or have an inferiority complex. Observe whether you are thoughtful, easy to worry about, try to put yourself in the shoes, and have higher requirements for your moral conduct. Inclined to perfectionism?

Perfectionists or sensitive people are really a thousand people with a thousand Hamlets. Many people regard it as a weakness, but in fact, it is also an advantage that most people do not have. This kind of people are better at observing and thinking, summing up success or failure, and in the long run, there will be more opportunities and resources to lean towards them, because "thinking more" will also have a sense of innovation, and they have a strong mobility and a good willingness and ability to learn.

However, many times, when we face some trivial things or words from the outside world, it is easy to walk into a dead end because of our sensitivity or inferiority. As for the solution, I prefer to be really strong and allow myself to have flaws, which is also self-confidence.

People who are naturally pessimistic will only see the pessimistic side of things. There is a famous example. When there is half a cup of milk in the quilt, optimists will say "Wow, there is still half a cup of milk in the cup, and I can still drink half a cup", pessimists will say "there is only half a cup of milk in the cup, and if you drink it again, it will be gone". It can be seen that pessimists and optimists look at problems from opposite angles, and they are always unhappy. From scratch, psychological counseling experts today teach pessimists some ways to improve themselves.

Are you a pessimist? First of all, we should distinguish whether we are pessimists and occasionally depressed.

Occasionally, you may feel uncomfortable when you are depressed, but depressed people have great mood swings, and the reasons can be traced back. It may be because I didn't sleep well last night, it may be because of the bad weather, or it may be because someone stepped on me on the bus.

Anyway, I won't feel depressed and negative about things for no reason. Moreover, it can also be relieved through psychological adjustment, and the comfort of friends can also help depressed people become happy.

But pessimists are not like this. Their pessimism is not only because of the bad weather, but because the weather will make them feel unhappy.

They have a sharper perspective on things and a more extreme attitude than ordinary people. Maybe sometimes a very happy thing, they often see the shortcomings and feel anxious about those imperfect things. They are always worried about what they didn't come and what they can't do well.

In fact, many pessimists don't trust themselves, because they feel that they will always encounter bad things, so they are uneasy about the arrival of luck and think that bad things will happen soon.

Pessimists will not only feel hard, but also make people around them feel tired. After all, no one can accept being in an environment full of negative energy for a long time.

So what about pessimism?

First of all, learn to know yourself.

"An inch is long, but a foot is short". There is no good or bad personality. If we can face up to our weaknesses and take positive actions, we can solve the pessimistic dilemma. Don't feel inferior to others just because you know you are a pessimist. As long as you take the initiative to receive treatment, no matter how difficult the disease is, it will be cured.

Secondly, let yourself focus on specific actions and not think about things that will not happen in the short term.

Pessimists always panic about things that haven't happened, but they haven't happened yet. Why should we assume that he will fail? Many fears are for yourself, and the world is not as dark as you think. Things are far from failing as you think.

I do what is in front of me bit by bit, without thinking about what will happen later. All my efforts are rewarded.

Furthermore, let yourself learn to trust. As long as you believe in yourself, you will have a solid feeling and dare to face difficulties alone.

Finally, be able to accept change. For pessimists, change means an unpredictable future and hidden dangers. Tell yourself that there are not so many earth-shattering events in life, just calm down and do your best.

Pessimists actually have a good side in many cases, because they will plan ahead and make full preparations for many things to avoid many unexpected situations. But most of the time pessimists are unhappy, and they need light in their hearts.

When you find yourself with serious pessimism, you must treat yourself positively. If you can't help yourself, you can ask Shenzhen to help you from the heart.

I guess the subject thinks pessimism is not good, so he asks what to do. In fact, "existence is reasonable." I think pessimism is often easier to succeed.

1. Pessimism refers to: thinking evil is the dominant force in the world, so only thinking in the bad direction, its behavior decisions tend to be useless.

2. Optimism refers to: only believe in positive power, often only consider positive value without considering negative value, and take positive value as the only reference standard. Its behavior often only sees the good side, but not the bad side.

What kind of person do you belong to? Do you find yourself not pessimistic or optimistic enough? That's right. Most people are not both, but often in between.

I don't think pessimism is bad, and certainly I don't think optimism is good. This is not a multiple-choice question. Both pessimism and optimism are what we need. Only the pessimistic person's world is colorless, and only the optimistic person's world is colorless. Both pessimism and optimism are what we need.

People who are naturally pessimistic will only see the pessimistic side of things. There is a famous example. When there is half a glass of milk in the glass, the optimist will say, "Wow, there is still half a glass of milk in the glass, and I can still drink half a glass", while the pessimist will say, "There is only half a glass of milk in the glass, and if you drink it again, it will be gone". It can be seen that pessimists and optimists look at problems from opposite angles, and they are always unhappy.

Are you a pessimist? First of all, we should distinguish whether we are pessimists and occasionally depressed.

Occasionally, you may feel uncomfortable when you are depressed, but depressed people have great mood swings, and the reasons can be traced back. It may be because I didn't sleep well last night, it may be because of the bad weather, or it may be because someone stepped on me on the bus.

Anyway, I won't feel depressed and negative about things for no reason. Moreover, it can also be relieved through psychological adjustment, and the comfort of friends can also help depressed people become happy.

But pessimists are not like this. Their pessimism is not only because of the bad weather, but because the weather will make them feel unhappy.

They have a sharper perspective on things and a more extreme attitude than ordinary people. Maybe sometimes a very happy thing, they often see the shortcomings and feel anxious about those imperfect things. They are always worried about what they didn't come and that they can't do it well.

In fact, many pessimists don't trust themselves, because they feel that they will always encounter bad things, so they are uneasy about the arrival of luck and think that bad things will happen soon.

Pessimists will not only feel hard, but also make people around them feel tired. After all, no one can accept being in an environment full of negative energy for a long time.

So what about pessimism? First of all, learn to know yourself.

"An inch is long, but a foot is short". There is no good or bad personality. If we can face up to our weaknesses and take positive actions, we can solve the pessimistic dilemma. Don't feel inferior to others just because you know you are a pessimist. As long as you take the initiative to receive treatment, no matter how difficult the disease is, it will be cured.

Secondly, let yourself focus on specific actions and not think about things that will not happen in the short term.

Pessimists always panic about things that haven't happened, but they haven't happened yet. Why should we assume that he will fail? Many fears are for yourself, and the world is not as dark as you think. Things are far from failing as you think.

I do what is in front of me bit by bit, without thinking about what will happen later. All my efforts are rewarded.

Furthermore, let yourself learn to trust. As long as you believe in yourself, you will have a solid feeling and dare to face difficulties alone.

Finally, be able to accept change. For pessimists, change means an unpredictable future and hidden dangers. Tell yourself that there are not so many earth-shattering events in life, just calm down and do your best.

Excluding the reason of innate character, if it is a long-term depression caused by acquired outlook on life and values, then the essence is a belief problem.

The success or failure of life is not a dimension, such as the length of life, whether you have money, whether your job is good or not, whether you are beautiful or not, whether your family is happy or not, and whether you are healthy or not. You see, if you take one out alone, you will not be happy without others.

One dimension can't work, for example, the girl is beautiful, which is successful, but the family is unhappy, the body is unhealthy, and the whole is unhappy. For example, rich, but unhealthy, short-lived and unhappy. To comprehensively evaluate from multiple dimensions, the evaluation criteria must be in your own place.

The biggest law among civilians is not the constitution, but the opinions of the people. Spitting can drown people, so people generally have moral concepts, and the evaluation criteria of good and evil are in the hands of others. You have to be a good person and please others to get a good evaluation. People's evaluation system should be in its proper place. The whole meaning of life is to keep going, no matter good or bad, it is the scenery on the road. When you were eight years old, your father beat you up. You won't be unhappy, will you? Similarly, looking back ten years later, you won't feel pain because of your current loss, distress and failure. It's not a feeling at all.

What you lack is the practice of your own life energy, subconscious and ideological strength, and what you lack is faith therapy that has a great influence on body and mind.

If we can clearly understand our own attributes, we can improve our observation and consciousness, and break people's own limitations and external control. Then we can correct the subconscious, strengthen the mind and reach the optimistic and open-minded state.

You can start meditation in a planned way and change the structure of different brain regions. The three functions of meditation are healing, correction and reconstruction. The effect that people can directly see is to cure diseases and become psychologically strong.

Meditation, in particular, begins a series of healing and reconstruction of the brain by sensing emotions. When you understand and master the generation and side effects of emotions, you will understand that your real life has not yet begun.

What you can see is your attitude towards life. The world is the world in everyone's eyes, with different understandings and beliefs, but the essence of the world is chaos, and any concept is subjective. If you understand all this, you won't be disappointed in the world and everything around you. Come on, friends!

Thank you for your question. You asked a very good question. People are pessimistic because their views on things were not actively intervened in time when they were young.

Positive psychology calls it learned helplessness.

"learned helplessness" means that people get a sense of helplessness in the initial situation, but they can't get rid of this relationship in the later situation, thus spreading this sense of helplessness to all fields of life. This pervasive sense of helplessness will lead to individual depression and despair of life. Under the control of this feeling, individuals will not make any efforts and attempts because they think they are powerless. It is considered as one of the manifestations of human depression.

Where did this concept come from?

"learned helplessness" originated from the classic experiment done by American psychologist Seyrig Mann: at first, the dog was locked in a cage, and as long as the buzzer rang, it was given an uncomfortable electric shock, and the dog could not escape the electric shock in the cage; After many experiments, the buzzer rang and opened the cage door before the electric shock. At this time, the dog not only didn't escape, but lay on the ground and began to moan and tremble before the electric shock appeared-it could have taken the initiative to escape but desperately waited for the pain. This is "learned helplessness". This experiment will be explained in detail later in the article.

Learned helplessness children's performance in school;

Students in learned helplessness have developed a strategy of self-incompetence. "I can't" and "I can't!" In the end, they will try to avoid failure rather than success. They thought they couldn't achieve their goal, and they did. They delay their homework or just finish simple tasks that are not suitable for their age. They are depressed and anxious, but they show it in the form of anger. Such students are lazy, negligent and destructive. They don't finish their homework or attend classes. Faced with challenging things, they will soon give up. When asked to read and test in public, they become anxious and bored.

Positive psychology attributed "learned helplessness" to:

(1) is permanent rather than temporary.

⑵ Internal personality factors rather than situational factors.

(3) Infiltrate into every aspect of life. Tending to produce learned helplessness.

In daily life, parents often hear their children answer a question like "I won't" and "I can't do it". In the long run, it is easy to form a "learned helplessness sense", which is very unfavorable for children's growth. Just think, how can a person who shows retreat and lacks perseverance in everything live well? How can a timid person get good grades when he encounters a little setback and blames others' fault or my stupidity? Therefore, it is very important to be alert to the formation of children's "learned helplessness" in education.

The main reason for the formation of learned helplessness is the negative expectation brought by negative attribution, which mainly comes from adults' evaluation of children, children's attribution of gains and losses, and the subtle influence of negative self-evaluation of adults on children. Therefore, children can be prevented from forming learned helplessness from the following aspects:

First, moderate frustration education

Parents are in favor of educating their children about setbacks. It is good to create certain difficult situations to cultivate children's ability to deal with things, but some parents think that when children do something wrong, severe criticism is frustration education; Some people think that no matter right or wrong, more criticism and less praise is to cultivate children's psychological endurance; There are also some parents who refuse all the needs of their children, thinking that this is not doting on their children. There are many such things.

Due to the lack of parents' affirmation, recognition and praise for their children, many children have doubts about their abilities and values, and more and more children are self-denying and insecure.

Children who are criticized by their parents for leaving no room often lose self-confidence, because they are afraid of making mistakes again, so they will shrink back as much as they can. Children who are seldom praised will think that no matter how things are handled, the result is irrelevant. On the contrary, you will be criticized for doing something wrong, so you will gradually lose your initiative, resulting in an indifferent attitude. Children whose inner needs are ignored and unsatisfied by their parents will lose their positive response to their parents and their enthusiasm for life. If children experience this situation repeatedly, it will lead them to gain this sense of helplessness in life, thus losing their innate characteristics.

Second, moderate evaluation.

When evaluating, we should encourage the good ones and suggest the defective ones.

Encourage children to work hard and don't say anything like you are really smart!

Third, parents should pay attention to the negative self-evaluation will be printed in their children's hearts like inkpad.

In the eyes of children under 10, parents know everything and are their idols! Too much negative self-evaluation from parents will bring invisible pressure to children. If parents have been working all day and come home complaining about the pressure and intensity of work, but the salary is not satisfactory, how about evaluating the leader again? How to wait for colleagues? When these complaints are full of family atmosphere, they will also cause second-hand pressure on children and feel that work is terrible rather than desirable.

Parents' negative attribution of self-achievement will also bring bad influence to children. For example, when parents tell their children their fate, they repeatedly emphasize that they don't have as good social relations as their fathers, and they are not valued by teachers. In this way, when children are ignored or criticized by teachers at school, they will think that it is not their poor performance but that their parents do not have good social relations and are not valued by teachers.

There are many reasons for the formation of learned helplessness, and parents should actively prevent it in their daily life and education. Parents should consciously correct and guide children who show helplessness. For example, create more situations for children to experience small successes; Guide children to make positive self-attribution in life; Tell children more about their excellent personality and so on.

Animal experiments in learned helplessness;

Test dog

"learned helplessness" was put forward by Seyrig Mann, a professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania in the United States, when studying animals in 1967. He did a classic experiment with dogs. Seyrig Mann kept the dog in a locked cage and installed a megaphone beside the cage. As long as the horn rings, the barbed wire of the cage will be electrified, and the intensity of the current is enough to make the dog feel pain, but it will not hurt its body. At first, when the loudspeaker sounded, the electrocuted dog would run around in the cage, trying to find an escape exit. But several attempts were unsuccessful, and the dog gave up the struggle in despair. Although the megaphone rang, there was still current flowing, but the dog just lay there quietly suffering, instead of trying to escape.

So Seyrig Mann moved the dog to a bigger cage. The middle of the cage is separated by a partition, and electricity is still on when the power is cut off, but the height of the partition is enough for the dog to jump easily. Seyrig Mann put another control dog, which had never been tested, on the electrified side together with the previous experimental dog. When the loudspeaker sounded and the cage was electrified, the control dog immediately jumped up and fled to the safe side after a short scare. But the poor experimental dog watched his partner jump to the other side of the cage easily, but he lay in the cage and refused to try again.

cause analysis

Dogs behave this way because they learned to feel helpless in the early stage of the experiment. In other words, they realize that no matter what they do, they can't control the termination of the electric shock. In each experiment, the termination of electric shock is under the control of the experimenter, and the dog will realize that he has no ability to change this external control, thus learning a sense of helplessness. People are the same. If learned helplessness is born, it will become a deep despair and sorrow.

Tester

Experimental process

1975, seligman took people as subjects, and as a result, people also produced learned helplessness. The experiment was conducted on college students. They divided the students into three groups: let the students in the first group listen to a noise that they can't stop anyway. The second group of students also listened to the noise, but they could try to make it stop. The third group was the control group, and the subjects were not given noise. When subjects carry out an experiment under their own conditions, they are asked to carry out another experiment: the experimental device is a "finger shuttle box". When the subjects put their fingers on one side of the shuttle box, they will hear a strong noise, but when they put their fingers on the other side, they will not hear this noise. The experimental results show that in the original experiment, the subjects who tried to stop the noise and those who didn't listen to the noise control learned to move their fingers to the other side of the box in the "shuttle box" experiment to stop the noise, while the first group of subjects, those who could not stop the noise no matter how hard they tried in the original experiment, left their fingers in place and let the harsh noise ring. In order to prove that "learned helplessness" has a negative impact on future study, Seyrig Mann did another experiment: he asked students to arrange the following letters into words, such as ISOEN and DERRO, which can be arranged in noise and order. To accomplish this task, students must master the law of 3425 1. The experimental results show that it is difficult for the subjects who feel helpless in the original experiment to complete this task.

Conclusion analysis

Many subsequent experiments also proved that this kind of learned helplessness can also happen to people.

In real life, children who have failed for a long time, patients suffering from chronic diseases, helpless old people, and even some people with good jobs often have the characteristics of "learned helplessness": when a person finds that no matter how hard he works, no matter what he does, he will end up in failure, or he can't achieve the expected results, he will feel that he can't control the overall situation, so his spiritual pillar will collapse. If you lose your will, you will eventually give up all your efforts and really fall into despair. The despair, depression and moral decay caused by "learned helplessness" are the roots of many psychological and behavioral problems. It is also the root of pessimism.

Therefore, the only way from pessimism to optimism is from learned helplessness to learned optimism!

Finally, I wish you optimism!

Left atrium and right ventricle, one lives happily; A person lives in sadness.

Don't be too loud when you are happy, so as not to wake up the sadness around you.

Pessimism and optimism are relative and interdependent. Don't have too much mental burden, just be yourself.

Adjust your mentality, everything is complementary, there are joys and sorrows, there are good and bad.

Whatever happens, you should believe in yourself. You are the best.

Do something meaningful, make some interesting people and make yourself optimistic and cheerful. I hope this passage will help you and become your best self. (? ▽? )

It's sunny and warm in Beijing today.