How to speak pleasantly

As the saying goes, one sentence can make people laugh, and one sentence can make people jump. Why does the same sentence produce completely different effects? It's very simple, because in addition to self-esteem and other accomplishments, you also have a speaking skill that makes others happy and makes you smile. Since each of us wants to live in harmony with others, we should try our best to make what we say pleasant to the ears and win the favor of others. So, what can you say to make others happy? Go with what you say, don't say it against the grain. Celebrities say to you - People who like to scold others are not material for making friends. ——Democritus Scene 1 In the evening, when people are getting off work and school, people and cars are coming and going on the road. Suddenly, at an intersection, Hao Zhenyong, a first-year high school boy, and a young girl collided with each other on their bicycles. The two fell to the road almost at the same time. The young girl quickly got up and saw that her beautiful skirt was stained. She immediately got angry at Hao Zhenyong: "What are you doing? You are so dumbfounded that your eyes are open and your belly button is up? You don't know how to ride a bike home to practice!" Hao Zhenyong's legs The skin was scratched and blood was seeping out. He endured the pain and apologized to the young girl: "Sister, I'm really sorry for knocking you down. I didn't mean to do it. I'm sorry." The young girl refused and said, "Is that all I need to say sorry? Didn't you look at my skirt?" It's stained and the car is broken. This is a new one." Hao Zhenyong followed the girl's words and said, "Sister, I didn't mean it. Do you think this is okay? Since your skirt is stained, I will send it to you. Clean it in the laundry. If the car breaks down, I will take it to you to repair it. If it can’t be repaired, I will compensate you.” The young girl wanted to vent her grievances again, but after hearing what Hao Zhenyong said. It was so pertinent and pleasant that I felt embarrassed even if I wanted to continue to get angry, so I just said "be careful in the future" and pushed the car away. Enlightenment On the surface, Hao Zhenyong is showing weakness in front of young girls, but in fact, he makes full use of his speaking skills. We all know that it takes a lot of effort to row against the current because of resistance, while it is easy and effortless to row with the current. The same is true for talking. If you talk to someone head-on, it is obviously a head-on confrontation. Not only will the other party not give in, but it will generate greater backlash, forming a needle-point attitude, and a fierce fight will be inevitable. Hao Zhenyong realized this, so he did not pursue the issue of responsibility for the collision tit for tat. Instead, he followed the other person's words: You said I can't ride a bicycle, and I didn't refute you; you said the clothes were dirty, and I washed them for you; you said If your car breaks down, I will help you repair it or compensate you. The young girl was so happy after talking to each other that she left without asking Hao Zhenyong to wash clothes or repair the car. Warm reminder: Saying it in the right direction can make people happy; saying it in reverse can make the other person full of anger. Think about it, don't rush to say it. Celebrities say to you - before speaking, think about whether there is anything inappropriate or there is a better way to speak. ——Liu Yong Scenario 2 Although it is May, the weather has not completely warmed up, and it is still rainy from time to time. Zheng Ruoqi, a senior in the liberal arts class, suffered from physical discomfort due to weather changes and coughed all day long. In order to review before the exam, Zheng Ruoqi was reluctant to take time to go to the hospital, but he never thought that coughing loudly in the class would have an impact on other people's learning. One afternoon in the self-study class, a classmate named Zhong Youguo couldn't restrain himself anymore. He asked Zheng Ruoqi with a shady face: "Zheng Ruoqi, are you going too far? You are coughing so loudly all day long. It is really hard for us!" Zheng Ruoqi was originally in poor health. She felt uncomfortable, and was even more upset after being scolded by Zhong Youguo, so she snapped back: "Why does my cough bother you? If you don't like it, don't grow your ears. Besides, do you think I like to cough?" People were at war with each other, like two cockfighting cocks fighting each other, and the atmosphere was extremely tense. League branch secretary Le Taotao couldn't sit still, walked between the two of them, secretly winked at Zhong Youguo, and then said: "Zhong Youguo, listen to me first. You really wronged Zheng Ruoqi when you said this." You're right, no one wants to get sick, and those who get sick suffer the most." Then he turned around and said to Zheng Ruoqi, "Don't be anxious, don't be angry. In fact, we have all noticed that you cover your mouth with your hands every time you cough. , the purpose is not to make too much noise to affect others, which shows that you are very kind-hearted. But even if the voice is small, everyone can still hear it, and still feel uneasy for you. We are all good friends, and I really don’t want to. Seeing how uncomfortable you are, it's better to see the doctor and prescribe some medicine. Otherwise, if it gets serious, it will affect your future college entrance examination review, and it won't be worthwhile, right?" Zheng Ruoqi said this angrily. Suddenly disappear.

Wu Yu As the saying goes: Those who can talk think about what to say, while those who cannot talk rush to say it. What is the difference between "thinking about talking" and "rushing to talk"? How are the results different? From the above scenario, we can see that "thinking about speaking" means keeping a calm mind before speaking, thinking more about whether something should be said, how to say it, and when and where it should be said. And "rushing to speak" means speaking without thinking before speaking, speaking recklessly, without knowing the method, and without remembering the consequences. "Thinking about speaking" often uses accurate words and appropriate methods, so it can be said just right and is convincing; while "rushing to speak" often means speaking hastily and impulsively, so it is easy to cause adverse consequences. Zhong Youguo did not consider in advance whether his words would hurt others, intensifying the conflict, and rushed to say it. As a result, Zhong Youguo aroused Zheng Ruoqi's antagonism and almost triggered an "armed struggle" between the two. In the same way, Le Taotao's words were pleasant to the ears, because she spoke from the perspective of thinking about the other person and in a caring and consultative tone. In other words, she was speaking with her brain, not her mouth alone. Talk, so good results were achieved. Warm reminder: If you think about it, the spring breeze blows on your face and make you happy; if you rush to say it, careless words will make you sad. Talk around, don't say it directly. Celebrities say to you - a sincere and frank attitude should be expressed in a tactful form. ——Zhang Wentian Scenario 3 The final exam is approaching, and the students in Class 1 and Class 6 are reviewing their homework carefully in the classroom. Suddenly, a series of "tap-tat" sounds were heard, and Li Ranran followed the sound and looked for it. It turned out that it was Xiao Jian's feet, who were sitting across the table in the back row, tapping the concrete floor rhythmically. Li Ranran was so disturbed by the sound that he couldn't read anymore, so he repeatedly planned to walk over and directly advise him not to make any more noise, but Xiao Jian had a short temper and would cause conflicts if he didn't do it right. What to do? Li Ranran started the brain machine and finally came up with a good idea. She came to Xiao Jian's desk as if nothing had happened and said with a smile: "Looking at your seriousness, are you tired from studying?" Xiao Jian said, "I'm really a little tired." Li Ranran took the opportunity to say, "Mediation Wait, let me tell you a story - in a certain university classroom, a girl kept looking back at the boy at the back table. The boy was very happy, but also felt it was strange, so he half-jokingly asked the girl: Am I handsome? Why are you always looking at me? The girl said with a pleading look on her face: Brother, please stop hitting my chair with your feet..." Xiao Jian was amused by the story and then turned around. The child came and said: "I understand, you are trying to persuade me not to make the 'tap-tat' sound anymore." Li Ranran gave a thumbs up: "Congratulations, you are all ready to answer." Xiao Jian immediately accepted her reminder. , I no longer have to tap my feet on the ground. Enlightenment means to go around in a roundabout way, instead of pouring beans through a bamboo tube - going straight. This is an effective method often used when criticizing, advising, and reminding others. Before Li Ranran advised Xiao Jian, she thought that Xiao Jian had a short temper and was prone to anger, so it was not appropriate to use a straightforward approach when persuading him. Therefore, she chose the plot and language in the story, and tactfully reminded the other party of "ta da". Interfering with other people's learning. Faced with the kind and implicit reminder, Xiao Jian happily accepted it. On the contrary, if Li Ranran, regardless of the way he spoke, went to Xiao Jian and criticized him bluntly: "Stop knocking, this will affect other people's learning." I am afraid there will be adverse consequences - Xiao Jian knows he is wrong, but he will not He is willing to bow his head and admit his mistakes in front of everyone, but on the contrary, he will fight back until the problem becomes bigger. When criticizing, advising, or reminding others, direct words are often easy to hurt the other person's feelings and self-esteem. Therefore, you must pay attention to strategies, avoid "minefields", and move forward in a roundabout way. Only in this way can you get the best result of good advice that is not offensive to the ears and good medicine that is not bitter to the mouth. The effect is to make others happy to hear it. Warm reminder: If you talk about it in a roundabout way, the winding path leads to a secluded place, the effect is better; if you talk about it directly, regardless of the result, the effect will be worse.