Help me find some hilarious articles

1. First it was Supergirl champion Li Yuchun, and then it was the Oscar-winning "Brokeback Mountain". Chinese gays finally stood up!

(Peking University Unnamed)

2. Is there anyone who didn’t cry after watching "King Kong"? I don’t think so~ But if it were a female King Kong and a handsome boy, I think

No one would cry at all~ (Unnamed, Peking University)

3. The European Union keeps going China is accused of failing to crack down on piracy because there are only 7 of the 6 Ferraris produced in limited edition in the world

in China! (Shuimu Community)

4. "You are not allowed to wear underwear and slippers into the classroom!" To be honest, even after four years at Nanyou University, I am not so shameless that I don't wear them.

Underwear enters the classroom... (Purple Gold Feihong)

5. Being handsome is useless. After spending money, can you use that face to swipe your card? ! (Tianya Zhenme)

6. During the May Day holiday, rent a girlfriend for one day. (Terracotta Warriors and Horses)

7. Great news: "Pro Evolution Soccer 10" finally has a Chinese team! ! ! The only purpose of the Chinese team is for the experts to show off to the people around them and say: "Come on, let's cut two, I choose the Chinese team~" (Peking University Unnamed)

8 . The children all stood up and posed for photos! Oh~ Xiaoli, you have to stand up well, don’t be like FRJJ

~~~ (Unnamed from Peking University)

9. In the past, capitalists would rather throw away the milk than give it to the poor. Drink, now the real estate developers would rather leave the house empty than let ordinary people live in it! (Terracotta Warriors and Horses)

10. If you can’t become a scholar, how can you look at the beauty with your eyes? (Drink water and remember the source, and see the taboo~)

11. Today a group of Japanese people visited our school. To be honest, this is the first time I have seen Japanese people wearing clothes... (

12. What fees will the bank charge after inter-bank inquiries? A. Bank construction fee; B. ATM initial installation fee; C. Bank card number selection fee; D. Smile service surcharge. (NetEase)

13. In today’s sandstorm weather, there are two stinky forwards of the Chinese football team - Yang Chen and Xie Hui! (Terracotta Warriors and Horses)

14. I would rather accept you resisting desperately under a gangster than suffer you to feel like a fairy under a man! (Tianya

QQ Station)

15. Since Gamba Osaka defeated the local rival Osaka Sakura 6-1 in the domestic league, the AFC Champions League will be held tonight

40 fans of the Osaka Sakura team came to Dalian to cheer for the Shide team during the game... (Shuimu Community)

16. Finally understood what Jay Chou's "Fantasy" means - Porridge ...(Sun and Moon Guanghua)

17. The difficulty of the defense depends on the quality of the respondent teacher's sex life the night before... (Terracotta Warriors and Horses)

18. Adam came home late after working overtime, and Eve Just count his ribs... (Shui Mu Qinghua)

19. Folks, the eunuch said that as long as Tuba Road is handed over, the Red Army will not treat you badly... (Sayuri)

20. A Netcom user said: "I am not refreshing the Tianya page, and I am always in the process of logging in to Tianya..." Ah, let’s take the exam to Peking University. "As a result, when I grew up, I didn't even get into Peking University.

(Peking University unnamed)

22. My friends all said that I was a famous musician, because every time I went k songs, they sing other people’s songs, but I

I always compose my own music... (Brothers Mizuki, please sign your name next time~)

23. I My girlfriend once said: "My wishes are not high: my husband doesn't have to be too rich, he can just drive me to and from get off work when I'm pregnant."

"Later, she married a taxi driver... (Shuimu Community)

24. Yesterday, I cruelly rejected an irresistible request from a woman I couldn't refuse - Mom

She said to me distressedly: "Baby, you are not young anymore, it’s time to find a girlfriend..." (Terracotta Warriors and Horses)

25. My grandma who was far away in my hometown listened. After hearing the news that I was admitted to Peking University, I said sadly: "Baby, why don't you go to the Central College for Nationalities? It's a central college after all, but Peking University is just a college." It’s a local school~” (Peking University unnamed)

26. The car is more crowded than pimples, the heart is sadder than the sixth grade, and the school network is as strong as Mingyi’s glass Broken, I am as useless as a flyover in the Middle East... (Yixian Time and Space)

27. How nice it would be if I were a dandelion: a beautiful headdress, a special Wings, and my mother will not stop me

Voyage... (Beida Weiming)

28. I am very poor, my servants are also very poor, and my gardener is also very poor. , my driver is also very poor... (Shui Mu

Community)

29. I never fold my quilt when I get up, I am never tired from studying, and it doesn’t matter if I don’t join the student union!

I often lie awake at night, thinking about who is the best match. A proper pairing of men and women, youth cannot be wasted.

Knowing that it is wrong not to learn, I still drink and party, stay up in the middle of the night, and often shed tears in class.

p>

It’s like a gathering of heroes. If you don’t memorize it in the final review, you can’t do anything in the exam, and you will quit if you fail to retake it! (Blue Starry Sky)

30. Are we urinating due to gravity? The in vitro debate continues, and I am on the opposing side.

To

prove that my point of view is correct, I stood on my head while peeing for them to see... (Tulip)

31. Passionate love hurts the body, secret love hurts... (Tianya Happy Paradise)

32. If sex does not exist in this world, then I think love will appear... (Tianya Happy Paradise)

33. The nickname or ID is "I love XXX" Most of them break up in the end... (Shuimu Community)

34. Get out as far as your thoughts go! ! ! (Terracotta Warriors and Horses)

35. The worst character is to stare at an ugly girl for a long time, and then sigh and say: "Damn, this dinosaur is too

It’s so real...” (Shuimu Community)

37. If you want to eat swan meat, ask Li Yapeng~ (I love Nankai)

38. I haven’t seen a woman in three years , now that I see an old sow, I feel that it is pretty and beautiful... (Tianya

Happy Paradise)

39. I solemnly gave myself the happiness of this life. My left hand...(Tianya Happy Paradise)

40. My dear, are you dead? If you die, hold me tight so that the body collector will know that we are a couple! (Tianya Happy Paradise

)

41. The big boy beats the girl - the name of the game - Counter-Strike

The big girl beats the girl ——Name the game——Warcraft! (Be realistic)

42. When I first graduated: Brothers, there will be a wife in the future

One year after graduation: Brothers, there will be a wife in the future

Later : Brothers, I regret having a wife

Later: Brothers, I regret having a second wife

Finally: Brothers, I regret having a second wife (Tianya Dongfang)

44. I have a lot of opinions on the clothes girls wear nowadays! It’s only April and I’m wearing so little, what will I do when summer comes? It turns out

The bride wears a lot during the bridal night, and the man peels off the layers layer by layer like peeling bamboo shoots, and there is a bellyband at the end, which is so wonderful

It’s interesting~ It’s not like now, even if I am highly myopic, I can see everything clearly from fifty or sixty meters away...

…(blue starry sky)

45. Japanese Mr. Lu Xun may have gotten used to writing "commemoration" as "in memory of" during his years in Japan, so he wrote a typo in "In Memory of Mr. Liu Hezhen", which is what is now called Tongjia in Chinese, but If we write like that, it’s a typo

It seems that history is written by people, and those with high authority control history... (Lilac)

46. Girls Guys, don’t just look at people by their mounts -

Because the one who rides on the donkey is not necessarily Zhang Guolao, it may be the Japanese who stole the mines

The one who rides on the broom is not necessarily Zhang Guolao. Witches, maybe Harry Potter...

47. How to compete for the heroine?

If you can’t be the leading actor, try to be the villain

If you can’t be the villain, try to be a cool supporting actor

If you can’t be the male protagonist The supporting role should at least be a tragic role that does not compete with the protagonist

If you can't be a tragic role, then you have to be a clown beside the protagonist

If you can't even be a clown - —

I have a 10-yuan guide here that can teach you how to replace the heroine... (Unnamed, Peking University)

48. Everyone must boycott Japanese goods——< /p>

Because the Sony mobile phone I just bought broke after only two weeks of use! ! (bbs.jsbc.com)

49. Incapable of harming the motherland, no reason to betray the people,

No capital to enjoy leisurely work, no ability to benefit oneself at the expense of others,

No chance Seeing profit and forgetting one's righteousness, one has no courage to break laws and disciplines.

Without money, one is arrogant and extravagant, so one has no choice but to be ignorant! (Peking University Unnamed)

50. Going to work - the most anticipated moment for school goers every day... (Shuimu Community)