I like you, this is my exclusive memory.

Have you ever had such an experience? When I was alone, I opened a song list inadvertently, and the familiar melody sounded, and tears filled my eyes unconsciously. Do you remember the person you loved again?

I have thought about what kind of tone I should use to tell the lost time and years, but in the end, I found that all the words and characters are so pale and powerless. In those years, I cried, laughed, loved, dreamed, hurt, drunk, hesitated and sentimental, which filled the whole youth and made young people breathless. Heavy schoolwork and strict teaching seem to be no match for that vague feeling, which we call favorite things. When this song rings in my ear again, your figure reappears in the hazy memory of youth, so I found the forgotten note recording the lush years in the corner of the study, and opened the first love letter when I was young, which is also the last one so far. My youth, also in that hot summer, came to an end.

"If life is just like the first sight." Nalan Rong Ruo's short poems tell all the best in the world. I forgot the first time we met, and I don't remember the scene. I vaguely remember that I had just been divided into classes at that time, surrounded by strange faces, suffocating loneliness, tangled in my heart, and unspeakable discomfort. Fortunately, I met a few familiar friends, which eliminated my inner anxiety and quickly became one with everyone. At that time, I didn't know you well, and I spoke less pitifully, so I didn't feel anything for you. By chance, I learned your name, and I have the same surname, so I pay a little attention to you, but I don't feel much.

At first, I thought you were a quiet person, unknown, like a drop of water, melting in the sea, so inconspicuous, as if you were still playing a prank a moment ago, and then disappeared into the vast sea of people in a blink of an eye, and there was no trace of your arrival. I get to know each other slowly, and occasionally chat, but I don't talk much. Maybe it's because I'm a quiet person, and I don't have much affection for you, but I didn't realize that a tiny seed inadvertently fell into my heart, and only under the nourishment of sunshine and rain can it break through the ground and make the world admire it.

Looking back from the present point of view, in fact, I am a very slow person, always ashamed to express irrelevant things. Fortunately, there are words, quietly recording those footprints, quietly precipitating in the passage of time, slowly fermenting and brewing mellow emotions.

Maybe I should use gorgeous words and beautiful poems to pave the way for each other's first sight, but I think no matter how beautiful the poems are, they can't cover up the innocent feelings. Too much glitz will appear false, so I simply put aside everything and try my best to explain everything in plain language and restore the truest feelings of the year. After all, no matter how time changes, our story goes on, doesn't it?

You said, like me, you like the light blue sky. There is a word "Xi" on the note you gave me, so you call me Lan Xi. From that day on, Lan became my pen name and accompanied me through the whole high school. I like to bathe in the warm sunshine, lean against the railing, quietly look at the blue sky and miss the wind, drifting farther and farther and boundless. Pick up a pen, write down a few beautiful lines and leave you a message. I am used to getting up early every day, facing the morning light, running on the playground and chasing the sunshine. Will come to the classroom early, fetch water for you, and then look at your faint smile and be happy silently.

However, life is not as beautiful as we imagined, and there are also many bitterness and helplessness, sadness and pain. Do you remember that time, a friend of mine asked you out to play? Although I can tolerate his playboy and deception, I will not hesitate to turn against him as soon as I see you, because it is you!

I still remember my mood. Like a bolt from the blue, Pandora opened the box and disaster came to the world. At that time, my heart was painful, because I cared, or because of something else? It's hard to say clearly at present. The only thing I can remember is that you sent me a message that night: "Lan Xi, did you cry again today?" "I caused the wound, and I will cure it. Although I don't know what to do yet, I know there will always be a way. " Just, how can you make me have the heart to blame you? Finally, I forgave him under your persuasion.

At that time, you always didn't eat on time. While urging you to eat on time, I skipped night lessons and bought you a cake outside the school for fear that you were hungry. Looking back on myself at that time, I always feel stupid and cute.

At that time, every night, I always dialed the familiar number frequently and poured out my thoughts on you. I remember it was a weekend, and I often called you. On the other end of the phone, you sounded a little anxious. You said you would go out to play with your roommate, but it was too late. The dormitory is locked, so I can't go back, so I can only wander in the street. After asking your location, I rushed there without saying anything, but because you don't have an ID card, you can't stay in a hotel. In desperation, I have to take you to the Internet cafe. At first, I didn't know that you still had a cold, so we spent the night in that boring internet cafe. It was not until the next day that we hurried out to buy medicine for you and send you back to school.

The night seems to be getting deeper and deeper Outside the window, it is drizzling. In the dim light, it is like a flying spirit, smart and elegant, graceful and hazy. When I opened the window, the smell of damp and corrupt branches and leaves came to my face, and I felt a little tired. This kind of fatigue does not come from my body, but from my heart. It's like burying a whole city and blowing out all the lights. Fingertips touch not darkness, but an invisible stranger, an unknown soul. Whose past is lost in the rainy night? This kind of tiredness germinates quietly in my heart, and as time goes on, it will get deeper and deeper, until it occupies all my heart and turns into the loneliness of Shan Ye in the rain. Shake your head, put aside all other thoughts, and continue to remember the bits and pieces with you.

The ferry of memory sails on the sea, braving the wind and waves, and the time stops on the eve of your birthday. This is your first birthday since we met. You invited me to your birthday party. It rained heavily that night, as if it could wash away all footprints and memories. That was the first time I walked into KTV. The song is loud and the sound is deafening, but I just sit there alone, watching others' madness stupidly, but I don't know how to deal with it. It was also on this day that I had my first drink. I wanted to shirk it, but I couldn't bear to refuse when I saw your faint smile. A cup into the throat, but only a touch of bitterness, no right feeling, just a cup after cup of machinery, although I found my body allergic when I got home, but now I seem to be fine. Then, I will send you a book carefully prepared for you-"Meeting you is the spring of my life", even the title can be chosen.

Meet, what a beautiful word? It makes each other's lives full of joy, and the fate with you is the most beautiful ornament in the fleeting time. I would like to use all the gentleness of the rest of my life to care for you as a princess and give you the most sincere love. When the wind blows, I hide my heart in a flower and miss you quietly in the ubiquitous loneliness. Sunset and lonely Qi Fei, autumn waters and the sky are the same color, knowing each other, which is the deep affection of a river and spring water. Those stories about flowers are scattered all over the place, and I don't want to pick them up and let them drift into time with you. ...

At that time, we had many topics. The first thing we do when we go back to the dormitory after studying every night is not to wash our faces and brush our teeth, but to eagerly open QQ, chat with you, talk about life and the past, and bring it to the dead of night before we reluctantly put down our mobile phones and fall asleep peacefully. At that time, I was most worried about the arrears of my mobile phone, because I was afraid of losing contact with you, even leaning against the window in the middle of the night, and even WIFI was hard. Looking back, I feel ridiculous.

At that time, we were so obsessed with music, two earplugs, one for you, and I have been obsessed with the wonderful melody. Perhaps, what fascinates you is not only the elegance of music, but also the time with you. We are deeply in love with Jay Chou, obsessed with Xie Ronger and pursuing those sad and beautiful music. Until today, whenever those familiar melodies ring in our ears, your voice and face will involuntarily float in our minds. Yes, I miss you again!

I've always wondered why people cry, but crying seems to be an innate nature. Everyone came to this world with that crisp cry. Crying is more of an instinct. When I was a child, I cried when I was hungry, fell, hurt and hurt. When you grow up, you learn to be spoiled and ask your parents for delicious food and fun. If you are not satisfied, you will still feel sad. But today, I learned to hide my true thoughts and feelings more. I never cry easily in front of people. Even if I am wronged again, I will smile and then hide in an empty corner and cry.

In my opinion, crying is more often manifested as an emotion, and tears become a carrier, carrying a person's emotions. Tears are often simple, sometimes because you feel that you are not good enough, or because you are bored, and sometimes because you miss the person you like ... In fact, crying in your heart is far more difficult than crying on the surface. After all, the superficial sadness can be vented through tears, but the inner sadness has nowhere to express. Who can I talk to?

I have fallen into the mire of loneliness countless times and shed tears in the dark night. And you, like that pure angel, lit up my heart with that faint light at the most helpless time, and also drove away the boundless sadness that filled my heart. Thank you for spending countless nights with you. In the silent night, darkness covers the earth, and sadness devours loneliness. Those songs you love ring in my ears, and the faint words quietly cherish all the tenderness, blend into the beating heartstrings, and rub into my flesh and soul.

Whenever I want to cry, I always think of you and what you said: If you cry again at some time, take the initiative to write a note, write down your thoughts, write down why you are crying again, and then give it to me ... Time can't erase the most sincere feelings and tiny words, and remember a little tenderness in your heart. If one day, you are tired, tired and sad, please turn back, I am always there.

If possible, I would like to become an angel without tears, because tears can drown my heart when the dam breaks, and that kind of choking is frightening. Gently, hide your heart in a flower, with the freshness of rain and dew, the moisture of sunshine, and integrate openness, tranquility, elegance and your shadow into it, put it in your heart and turn it into flawless wings, waiting for the moment of blooming. ...

The countdown to the college entrance examination in the corner has changed from 100 to 10, and from 10 to single digits. Are you going to graduate? But why, in the heart can breed a faint fear? Give up, or something? Maybe even I can't tell. I can't remember how many words I wrote for a long time, just to pay homage to my lost youth, but there is always a ray of tenderness that falls in my heart through thick clouds, breaking the elegance and simplicity of poetry. In countless lonely nights, I picked up a thin brush, smeared the pallor of fleeting time and colored the mottled years.

Perhaps, there are always some feelings that have to be hidden, and there are always some lingering fragrance in my heart. The fragrance of those flowers, those bleak leaves, were buried deep with the arrival of the college entrance examination. I have to postpone everything, even put down my unfinished novels, and I have resisted my desire for love, and I have put down too many emotions that should not be bred.

The college entrance examination arrived as scheduled, which is different from the previous mock exam. Everything that was loose has become rigorous. I searched and scanned, and all the inspections were meticulous, without any moisture. There seems to be dark circles on my face after insomnia. Without stopping, I quickly passed all the security checks, entered the examination room and started the last exam. Looking at the test paper on the desk that determines everyone's future destiny, I did not hesitate to write like a fly. I know that as long as I finish this paper, I can see you and give you the love letter that carries all my heart.

But I guessed the beginning and development of the story, but I didn't guess the ending. Just when I was expecting you to read the letter and promise to join me and take you somewhere to celebrate, I received a message that you politely refused: Sorry, I already have someone I like, thank you for being kind to me!

I stared at the screen of my mobile phone and repeatedly confirmed the content of the message. However, the red font, like a steel needle, is deeply rooted in my heart.

I pretended not to care and replied, OK, I see.

In an instant, I cried alone, and the voice of sending short messages sounded. There has been no reply since then. I didn't try to find out about you. I buried all my memories, carried my luggage and set foot on the train to Chengdu. Six months later, my friend heard the news that you were with him, and I haven't seen you since.

There is a saying that people in memories can't meet, because once they meet, the memories will be gone. Now, I am in a city more than 700 kilometers away from you/KLOC-0, listening to Jordan chan's "Exclusive Memory" and quietly writing this passage. I feel calm and there are no more waves.

You are in my heart and I am in the end of the world.