Diary of Douban: The Story of Me and Women's Chest

This article comes from Douban users: sour persimmon

Pay attention to WeChat WeChat official account's "Daily Douban" and reply "I am free tonight" to see what everyone is watching at night.

△ Women's breasts are a mystery to men. I hope this article can uncover the corner of the puzzle.

one)

The first time I saw a woman's breasts,

it was all because of my father's negligence.

all along, I have no position on the issue of women's breasts. I like the big one, which gives me a solid sense of security. I like the little ones, too. They turn the extra breasts into a kind of careless character. It's neither too big nor too small. I still like it. I can see enough feminine temper in them.

This has greatly broadened the scope of my mate selection, and even downloading love action movies is diversified. Therefore, I am very grateful to God for giving me a free will to appreciate all kinds of breasts. Everything has a reason. I guess this will comes from an enlightenment when I was fourteen years old.

fourteen years old is a beautiful age for boys. At that time, our brains were not filled with sperm, and most brain cells were busy solving the problems of game clearance, who should start the football match, and how to cheat more pocket money from our parents. However, a small part of consciousness has awakened in the body. They can't describe what they want, and they know nothing about what this thing should look like.

there were two main things in my memory that summer. The cicada on the big pagoda tree in school, and the light blue bra of the English teacher.

She just graduated from Normal University and was assigned to a third-rate middle school to teach English. Because of her thin face, the voice of her lecture can only be heard by herself. Compared with her, the cicada cry outside the window is obviously more emboldened, which completely crushes her English class from the momentum. In class, while listening to them shouting at the top of their voices, I tried to distinguish which of these voices were male and which were female. Sometimes this game can be played all day.

She knows that her voice is incompetent, so she often writes on the blackboard. The best time is the third class in the morning, when the sun has faded from the reluctance to get up early and become excited. The sun is obviously a malicious person, and he deliberately makes the teacher's shirt look very bright.

That light blue bra is what she often wears in summer. From the back, she is not much older than the students in grade three, but the style of underwear shows that she is an adult who has seen the world. I have told my classmates more than once that she is my favorite teacher. Mainly because of the high quality of teaching, patience with students and so on. So much so that I often miss her and her bra after class.

how can I untie it? I deduced all the possibilities in my mind, but I still couldn't find a reliable way to solve the bra. Once I dreamed that I had succeeded, and she was right in front of me, a distance that I could feel when I blew my breath. I untied her bra, and there seemed to be two clouds of fog inside, but I reached out to catch it but there was nothing, which made me feel flustered.

Later, because of my dad's dereliction of duty, I left this flustered forever at the age of fourteen.

I went to see my dad in another city that summer vacation. He is genetically not going to continue the incense, so he doesn't think that children are an object that needs careful care. The advantage of this is that I don't have to pretend to be a good boy in front of him. Anyway, whatever I do, he feels normal.

He has just moved, and his room is still in a state of chaos. I don't have all the daily necessities. It seems that I will try to take care of myself in the next few weeks, and I'd better not die.

"You live in this room, the sheets are covered in the cupboard, and you make them yourself."

"Oh, is there a mat?"

"No, if you are hot, turn on the air conditioner."

"where is the air conditioner remote control?"

"hey? I'll look for it. "

While we were chatting, I noticed a calendar on the wall. From a distance, most of the colors in the picture were flesh. As early as 9' s, the great beauty calendar was a necessary item for urban youth. It seems that my father felt that he was still a young man. So he decided not only to hang beautiful women at home, but also to be blonde and naked. In addition, you have to admire his courage, dare to let his 14-year-old son live with the giant playboy poster, and his heart is big enough.

all my thoughts were on this calendar that day. What he told me and what we ate at night didn't take it to heart at all. When it's time to go to bed at night, although I can't tell why I want to avoid people, my instinct still makes me lock the door from the inside.

The calendar was a little high, so I moved a stool and stood on it. It was my first time to see a woman. The girl in the picture holds her left hand on the table, her right hand holds up her right breast, and her right foot tilts up wittily. I subconsciously put my hand on her breast, but immediately realized my rudeness and drew my hand back. To tell the truth, if I just look at her chest, I don't feel anything special, but the whole body and face of a woman seem to have jumped into my head, and all my desires are concentrated on that little black spot in the middle of her chest.

in retrospect, it should be playboy's miss America series. What I remember most is Miss Florida, who has a pair of simple eyes and a unique flamboyance of Latin people. The sexiest thing is the bikini sunburn around her chest. This has given me a lot of beautiful fantasies. Maybe one day I will meet this girl on the beach in Miami, and I may tell her how I am fascinated by her. I might even untie her bikini with my hands and kiss her sexy sunburn.

that summer vacation, I would look through this calendar every night. Twelve months of the year, let me see twelve kinds of breasts with different shapes. These breasts are like a door to me. Although I know there is something called sex hidden behind the door, and I have no idea what it looks like, I know that pushing this door is not far from the truth.

2)

In a place far from civilization,

I was scared to pee by a woman's chest.

I once lived in a small island country in the South Pacific for several years. As a citizen of a vast country, it is difficult for you to understand what it would be like if your country were just a dot on the map.

people who are familiar with geographical determinism should be able to imagine what this country looks like. They are at the westernmost end of the earth, far from the main stage of mankind. So they missed the imperial feudalism, industrial revolution, literary and artistic thoughts, and all other major events that normal countries should experience. More than 1 years ago, when the first foreigner came to this land, people here not only didn't know the concept of country, but regarded the white priest as a monkey, boiled it in a pot, sprinkled some salt and ate it directly.

Although they drink Coca-Cola like you today, and occasionally get an email on gmail, if you think about it carefully, you will find that the creator is really an asshole. We China people are thousands of years away from primitive civilization, and they are only hundreds of years away from our cannibal ancestors, but today we all use Apple phones. The world is really flat.

living in such a country is naturally full of adventures. First of all, the folk customs are tough, oh no, it should be called simple folk customs. I used to go to the seaside to pick up crabs at night (China people are so greedy everywhere), and I bumped into local people having sex behind a big rock. I think they should have found me, but at first glance, I am a yellow man and pose no threat, so I didn't pay much attention to me.

what a mind it is to have sex on the rocks. I envy their harmonious relationship with nature. Looking back on the young people in our country, they had to drive a long way to find a dim grove if they wanted to fight in the field. When they went there, they found that all the good places were occupied by others, and they only left you the emperor's seat under the street lamp. Look at other people, having sex with their beloved woman with the waves and moonlight, which is much more awesome than a sex hotel.

although I want to go wild once in my heart, we Han Chinese just can't get wild. I think in their eyes, I should only be considered a neutral person. Because of my work, the locals are not bad to me. Say it's a job, in fact, it's to repair a computer for them on a fishing boat and occasionally go out to sea to help. We China men, if nothing else, can repair computers. People who can't install the system can't find a girlfriend in our country. Fortunately, I brought a pirated windows xp from China, which benefited a lot.

People come from afar. As one of the few Asians on the island, I am sometimes invited to attend various ceremonies in their tribe. I can only guess at their aboriginal English, so I didn't know what this ceremony was about before I went there. In my opinion, their lives are too comfortable, so they can't think of any complicated monsters after scratching their heads, and the ceremony is relatively simple, which is far from our dancing gods.

Now it sounds like I'm laughing about my life, but the day I first attended the tribal ceremony, I was really scared to shit.

as a guest, I was placed in the back of the first row. Drinking is a way for all mankind to show friendship, but their wine is by no means as simple as high degree. Later, I learned that this drink is called CAVA, which is extracted from the root of a tropical plant and is banned in many western countries because of its strong anesthetic effect.

The most handsome one in the tribe should be the Shoubazi. He took a porcelain bowl, filled it with CAVA, took a sip, and then brought it to me. I think this is definitely not for me to gargle, so just pinch my nose and drink it. My little Asian petty field is like a small flame in the wind and rain, which is about to go out. If this bowl goes down, I'm basically paralyzed. I watched the next ceremony with my eyes narrowed:

There was a wild boar opposite, and a group of people went up to subdue it. Another wild boar came across the street, and a group of people went up to subdue it. Their ceremonies are probably the same routine, and a few older brothers come to fill me in the middle. The rule of "I'll do it, you can do it at will" is not easy to make there. Everyone drinks from the same bowl, and people are very heroic. I can't say anything. So just halfway through the ceremony, I have basically finished anesthesia and can advance the state of the operating room.

next, it's time for women to perform. The woman in my impression should be Maggie Cheung wearing a cheongsam in In the Mood for Love. Regardless of what indigenous girls wear, they won by their body shape alone. You imagine, dragging Maggie Cheung up and down, the height is longer; Pull her left and right again, and she will be a lot stronger; The chest is pulled at an angle of 3 degrees below the syncline and becomes big and vertical; Finally, push her ass at an angle of 6 degrees above the diagonal, and it will become a bench shape when viewed from the back. This is probably the figure of an indigenous girl.

most importantly, they have no clothes on them. Probably because of the effect of anesthesia, I feel a dozen meat balls bumping around in front of my eyes. It's rude to stare, but it's even more rude not to look. Their own people don't think this is anything at all, but I think the sky is falling. These meatballs are not only unattractive, but also offensive to me. Every punch hits me in the face. It must be humiliating to slap your breasts.

hey, let's start dancing. God, is there anything more embarrassing than dancing? Our Han Chinese genes are not only wild, but also world-famous for their lack of music and uncoordinated limbs. I joined the indigenous girls at their kind invitation with my big head drugged. This may be the second embarrassing moment in my life besides the adventure in Amsterdam. On the left is the breast, and on the right is the breast. When I look at it, I can't find a place without breasts. A man who is scared by his breasts will probably be unable to lift his head in his life.

This incident really made me think about women's breasts. Those extreme feminists who are topless under the slogan of liberating women wonder what kind of existence breasts will become in men's consciousness if the world really meets their wishes one day.

3)

I wiped her body with a wet towel.

It was these breasts that killed her.

My mother is a China woman with a flat chest and charm. I haven't seen her breasts since I was weaned. Even if I have seen it, I have selectively forgotten it because of some psychological self-protection mechanisms.

The day when I heard that she was diagnosed with breast cancer was no different from other days. I got off work, opened the refrigerator, washed the dishes and cooked a simple dinner. Sitting on the sofa and turning on the TV as usual, although I don't know what I'm watching, I still think it's time to watch TV at night. I don't know what to do except watch TV. Before I went to bed, I called her. On the phone, I tried my best to show that it was no big deal. I should take medicine and have surgery, and just treat it as a fart. In a few words, it seems that this matter will be solved. She was on the other end of the phone, and she was equally optimistic. She said that she was hard-working, which was nothing. She would go to the surgery tomorrow and so on.

we hung up the phone, but we both knew that we were kidding.

the first step in the treatment of breast cancer is excision. So I accompanied her breasts for decades, and when I said no, it was gone. When she was pushed out of the operating room, the tube was still in her mouth, and her naked body was covered with white sheets. Because of general anesthesia, every muscle on her face collapsed in the pillow like a lost soul, which is completely different from sleeping. If you lose the last control of your body, there will be no expression at all.

I picked up her hand, trying to give her some encouragement. I felt warm, and I remembered that she taught me to wrap jiaozi when I was a child. Holding my hand, she proudly gesticulated with her original bag jiaozi technique and boasted to me how beautiful the jiaozi she wrapped was. At that time, her hands were much hotter than now. At that time, it was obviously she who got flour all over her head and face, and she always blamed me for making a mess at home.

Pushing her back to the ward is a technical job, because she is still in a coma, so the nurse and I need to work together to carry her to bed. I never knew that people could be so heavy. In the process of transfer, the sheets on her body fell off, and the knife edge on her chest was so straight in front of my eyes in wait for a while.

in the next few days, she will burp, fart, pee and shit. I help her burp, fart, pee and shit. The rest of the time, I will talk to her, mainly joking, talking about her and my dad when they were young and teasing her brothers and sisters. But jokes are different from jokes. Some jokes will really make her laugh, which is absolutely impossible, because it will shock her. So I will only tell some jokes that she can just open her mouth without laughing.

on the third day, she needed a bath, and I wiped her body with a wet towel. The body of the elderly is very ugly. You have a chance to smell the baby's skin, which is sweet like cheese. The skin of the old man is wrinkled brown, and it will give off an indescribable and dying breath from the meat.

Later, when she was able to walk on the ground, I accompanied her to walk around the corridor of the ward. She said that I couldn't find a daughter-in-law, which worried her. I said that I thought the little nurse in their ward was good, and she could help me with matchmaking.