Breast-sucking mother: hiding in the company toilet, collapsing and insisting on breast milk.

Family and career are always a dilemma for women.

Being a mother is a sacred thing, but it has become a constraint in the workplace. At both ends of the scale, it seems destined to be out of balance.

Being a "wet nurse" is the first step to feel the imbalance of the scales. Carrying ice packs and breast pumps, they walked into various "little black rooms" to prepare breast milk for their children.

Out of the "little black room", both men and women should cheer up and win a place in the workplace.

During this period, the pressure of working, sucking milk and lack of self-worth is like a mountain, and there is no chance to breathe.

But this kind of sacrifice and fatigue is taken for granted in the eyes of family and society.

Perhaps, what is more difficult than social animals is breastfeeding mothers (the following interpretation comes from Baidu Encyclopedia).

Mom is in the "little black room"

There are all kinds of "little black houses".

The better environment is the meeting room and tea room, with air conditioning. To make matters worse, there is no exhaust system in toilets and storerooms, and summer is like a sauna.

As soon as the lunch break arrives at noon, mothers who are still breastfeeding, with blue ice packs and breast pumps, come to the little black room as "cows" to suck out milk and store breast milk for the baby for the next few days.

After half a year's maternity leave, Lin Qin began to be a wet nurse. There is no maternal and child room in the company. She can only go to the toilet with an environmental protection bag, hang the breast pump in the bag, and hold the bottle in one hand, always looking down to see if the bottle is full.

"The neck is particularly sour after sucking milk." Lin Qin said.

There are only two pits in the company's ladies' room, and it usually takes at least 20 minutes to suck milk. The tension of occupying public resources will fill the whole process. "No one will rush you, but you will still be under pressure."

Some mothers used to suck milk in the reference room. Because they won't lock the door, they have been worried that someone will suddenly come in. "It's embarrassing to meet a male colleague."

Shirley is sucking milk in the corridor. The only obstacle is an abandoned refrigerator, and occasionally there are men who take delivery and smoke. "It's very inconvenient."

According to the data of "20 19 survey report on the living conditions of working mothers" released by Zhaopin, only 8.22% of companies in China have maternity rooms, less than 10%.

The moment of collapse in "Little Black House"

Mothers gathered in the dark room, and some kind of pressure followed.

Jinn sucks milk once at most 130CC. A colleague who is breastfeeding can suck out 200CC at a time. "It took 20 minutes to fill a bottle."

This is not a competition, but the difference in milk quantity always makes Jinn feel anxious. "Why can't I squeeze out so much, others can?"

For the source of this guilt, she summed it up as "I always want to give my children more and better things."

Generally speaking, breastfeeding will last until the child is about one year old, but Jinn insists on it until the child is one and a half years old, "for immunity".

Her idea is to work harder now and save time taking children to the hospital in the future.

But when the children grew up, she found that her colleagues' children started drinking milk powder very early, and they were not very ill. They eat well and are strong.

On the contrary, their children don't like eating and are thin. "There is a feeling that input and output are not proportional." Jin said.

However, mothers with more breast milk did not feel relaxed in the "little black room". They will pump milk more frequently. In case of temporary meeting or urgent work task, the milk sucking task can only be put on hold, which leads to the failure to dredge the milk in time and block the milk.

Once the milk is blocked, the chest is like a stone and you can't breathe.

I often feel a stabbing pain around my chest. "It's like stabbing you with a needle." If it is not dredged in time, it will cause mastitis, and if it is serious, it will have a high fever for several days.

In the "little black room", accidents may happen at any time. I hurried to work, only to find that I forgot to bring my breast pump and milk storage bag when sucking milk.

But the most nervous thing is that I sucked hard for 20 minutes, but I accidentally pushed my hand and spilled all my breast milk.

This is the most collapsed moment of the day, accompanied by extreme criticism of myself. "Why are you so careless? Why can't you do this well? "

Difficult to balance

All the nervousness and anxiety in the "little black room" must be put away at the moment of leaving.

Less than three months after maternity leave, Chen returned to the workplace. The new position is product manager, responsible for the development and promotion of tourist routes. Because there are many docking departments, it is normal to work overtime on Double Eleven and 6 18.

The company has the requirement of receiving customers every month. This month will receive 1 0,000 people. If you only accept 700 people, you can only get a 30% discount on your salary.

The company also implements the bottom elimination system-Chen has plans to buy a house in Shenzhen, and she must work hard to keep her job.

At noon 12, it's time for colleagues to take a lunch break. Chen came to the small and smelly toilet with a milk storage box in his left hand and a breast pump in his right hand and stayed for half an hour.

Every two hours, she will repeat the same words. If there is an impromptu meeting, she will reply to the group message while sucking milk and pack her equipment in a hurry.

Of course, the breast pad can't be forgotten, and it will be embarrassing if the unfinished breast milk overflows onto the clothes.

If there is a serious milk blockage, suck it again after the meeting.

However, it is not easy for mothers to adapt to working conditions quickly after delivery.

On one occasion, Chen encountered a milk jam, which was very out of state. There was an error in calculating the cost. The company lost more than 6000 yuan at once, and the customer finally canceled the order.

Although it is not a big project, Chen still feels a sense of frustration. In the previous three years, this kind of low-level mistake will never happen. "Never allow yourself to make mistakes."

It is also at this moment that she feels that as a woman, there will be an imbalance between family and career. When the child was ill, Chen Xiang asked for leave to go to the hospital. Her husband is an IT worker, even more tied than her.

The imbalance of energy distribution will also have an impact on career promotion. "The company sees that you have invested a lot in your family, and promotion will definitely not give priority to you."

For lactating mothers, the most feared thing is business trip. A few days before the business trip, breast milk should be prepared one week in advance, which means that the frequency of breast milk will be more frequent than before.

Two to three times, three to four times, "when you have some time to go to work, just smoke."

Guo Xiaojie once went to Shanghai on business. Because of insufficient breast milk, children began to drink milk powder.

Maybe it's because she hasn't adapted to mixed feeding, and the baby will have diarrhea after eating it. As soon as she called, the child cried, "I feel guilty and uncomfortable."

During the business trip, Guo Xiaojie went back to the hotel 1 1 every day to prevent milk jam. She wants to continue sucking milk. She thought about sending breast milk through the cold chain, but gave up because she was worried about deterioration.

It took the child half a month to return to his usual state and lost a whole circle.

isolated and cut off from help

The pressure of work and breastfeeding has never overwhelmed mothers. What really breaks people down is that they can't get the emotional support they deserve from their families.

During lactation, mothers will pay great attention to their diet and dare not eat heavy oil and spicy food. Every meal is mainly light.

When the baby was a little older, Chen started mixed feeding. In order to treat herself, she occasionally goes to a restaurant.

Once, I went out to eat crayfish with my husband Chen. At night 10 came back, my father-in-law refused to open the door and kept staring at the couple at the door. "I feel that I have children or go out to eat, and there is no spirit of hard work."

The husband is gentle, which is why Chen was with him from the beginning. However, in dealing with family conflicts, the husband has no opinion. "I didn't take me later. I have eaten crayfish. "

It is difficult for husbands to understand the hardships of nursing mothers. Occasionally, he will only respond "I'm tired, I don't want to listen." Most of the time, the communication between the two people is zero, and the room is silent.

When I get home, my in-laws always say, "There is always no milk to feed the children." Nobody cares whether a mother is happy or not.

She was tested in the community and suffered from severe postpartum depression. As long as he is idle and empties himself, Chen will fall into an emotional swamp-he is not interested in doing anything and always suffers from insomnia in the middle of the night. "I want to cry every night."

Kim has experienced such a moment. Once, the refrigerator at home moved, and my in-laws forgot to plug in the power supply, and the breast milk inside went bad. It took Jinhua several days to squeeze it out, and finally he had to throw it away.

"They didn't say sorry, only I was sad."

Looking at the breast milk she brought back, her mother-in-law will make some comments-"Your breast milk is not as beautiful as before, but it is too white now."

Although she made no less sacrifices than her husband, Jinn obviously felt that when her husband came back, her mother-in-law would cook more dishes than usual.

The depressed mood was passed on to my mother, and the feedback I got was just "The mother-in-law in the world is the same, bear it."

For the treatment of postpartum depression, the support of family system is the first line of defense. But the reality is that after countless new mothers discover their depression tendency, the first hurdle they encounter on the road to cure is the family's incomprehension.

In their eyes, this kind of sacrifice is justified.

Isolation-this is the description of Jin and Chen at that time. The social welfare association provides psychological counseling, but it has little effect. They all know that if they want to ease their emotions, they can only come from their relatives.

During the epidemic, both Chen and her husband lost their jobs, and she went out to look for a job alone. "A 29-year-old is as old as a 40-year-old."

After weaning, Jinn moved out from home, still busy at both ends, but relaxed a lot.

However, because I drank too much soup during lactation, I am now deformed, with excessive uric acid and nodules in my liver and lungs.

Before production, all her indicators were normal.

There is a classic line about mother in Korean drama Please Answer 1988: I heard that God can't be everywhere, so I created my mother.

But in fact, mother is not a god. Every step from birth to work is like walking through a dense jungle and getting out of the quagmire of work and life with strong willpower.

Behind the aura of the role of mother are countless dark moments.

Remarks: The characters in the text are all pseudonyms.