What's it like to be in your twenties but unable to work due to illness?

In your twenties, you are confused and anxious. You want a house, you want a car, you want to travel and you want to enjoy life. You are so young, but you look at the whole world. You are so impetuous, but you want to see through life.

First, don't worry, don't worry.

Last week, I was in Nanjing on business. Late at night, I dragged myself to meet my friends and talked until two in the morning. It's almost three o'clock when I got back to the hotel. My roommate hasn't slept yet. He lit a cigarette and watched the night view of the old capital in a daze under the 65th floor. He is quiet, bald, like an artist, and has a natural indifference. His previous contact was nothing more than business, not to mention much. I don't know how to mention the mentality and choices of young people now, but I can't stop chatting.

He/kloc-came out at the age of 0/8 and never went to college. He is 38 years old and is the design director of a famous magazine. If this is an old-fashioned inspirational story, I may never be interested in listening to it again. But he said, I don't know what your generation thinks. I hate the distinction and labels after zero, and I can't tell many of my peers. People know each other through values rather than age. Now your generation seems to be in a hurry. You have a house, a car and a ticket, but even your peers don't all think so, do they? I nodded. He went on to say that in fact, every generation has its own depression, really, that's how it came about.

I only got my own house two years ago, and my son is two years old this year. I think everything is fine. When I was 25, I worked in a public institution. I have seven or eight years of work experience, so I can't stay any longer and have to go. The leader invited me to drink. He gulped down a glass of wine and told me, you are still young, don't think so much, don't worry, do what you have to do. I have benefited a lot from this sentence so far. When I was young, I was playful and impetuous, and there were always various temptations. I will remember the old leader's words, don't think about anything else, do my own thing well, and it's now in a blink of an eye. He went on to say that if we want to talk about struggle or something, I have never, just step by step. Things like houses and cars, to be honest, as long as you are not stupid and do what you should do, you will definitely have them, but you can't. Don't think about it, don't care what others do, trust your own judgment. Hold on. Take your time.

He said, hang in there and take your time.

A month ago, I just came and brought home more than a dozen old magazines. After flipping through it in a hurry, I fell down on the sofa in despair and sent a short message to the teacher: When can I write the four main pens? The gap is not a little. He's back. Don't worry, you're still young. I said, I'm 24 years old, and I still can't see any hope. He is only 24 years old. Our youngest is only in his early thirties, so don't worry.

Only 24 years old. He said it twice in a row. Don't worry.

Li Xiaolai wrote in Taking Time as a Friend that we always expect too much from short-term interests and too little from long-term interests.

He means English as well as life.

After all, it is still urgent.

Second, how many people have been harmed by "becoming famous early"?

Some people say, what kind of person do you want to be, go to that person. Not everyone is so lucky, but this sentence is not only about career, but also about life wisdom. It is easy for people to magnify their immediate pain or achievements and communicate with their older but enlightened predecessors. They will know at a glance what stage you are going through, and now it's just a screw that stumbles you. What you can't see through may be their confusion.

/kloc-during the age of 0/8-23, I like to browse celebrity resumes for no reason. Every time I know a person, I envy and hate him, I will search his experience-how old did you graduate with a master's degree? When did you finish your doctorate? How old did you start to make your mark in the professional field? When did you achieve today's achievements?

Age, age, age, that is an anxiety about time. Zhang Ailing's phrase "Become famous early" hurt many people. I hate success, because obviously, not everyone can succeed through hard work, but I am sure I am one of the lucky ones. I am ambitious and energetic; I am arrogant and proud of my advantages in appearance and talent; I think about all serious topics, read books related to the mystery of this world, and pay tribute to the vast civilization through the ages; I expect people to read my words in publications and talk about my name in the media; I long for fame, money and beautiful girls' long hair. I have repeatedly read Xu Zhiyuan's "Those Sad Young People", and I am full of emotion for another equally proud soul.

But I'm only 20 years old.

All celebrity books and lectures tell me that a person needs to know what he wants to do well. Today, countless articles by colleagues, Weibo and highly sought-after publications are full of similar views, and even become anti-success, naturally "correct" words, which are greatly recognized by young people with "independent thinking ability".

However, you ask a young man who has just left the boring high school life and just started to understand the world and life. What does he want? He wants excellent grades, good reputation among his classmates and a beautiful girlfriend. He also wants to find an enviable job after graduation and make money, become famous and succeed as soon as possible.

Some people will ask, is this a problem? Admittedly, this is "what I want", but this is just a modular assembly line, trying to polish all young people into a face. "What do you want" should not only be related to secular occupation, fame and fortune, but also to a deeper proposition, the struggle and exploration of people themselves, that is, who am I?

Who are you? I want to get all the scholarships from the university, live a rich life, get a high-paying position, and own my own house in the Fourth Ring Road in Beijing ........................................................................................................................................

Why did the guy who was willing to paint on all possible objects become a company employee, just because everyone said that the life of a freelance painter was unstable?

Why did the girl who was determined to "shoulder morality and write articles skillfully" enter the state-owned enterprise, and the reporter's income was not as high as that of the state-owned enterprise, just because of her parents' persuasion?

Who are you? I mean, who are you, stripping off all the positioning and shackles given to you by the outside world, isolating all parents and elders from trying to influence you and interfere with your voice, and forgetting all the value judgments of mass media, celebrities and publications? Who is he, she, it, banging in your body?

Things have changed. What are you doing here?

Being in your early twenties and not knowing what you want is both a disaster and a blessing.

But you must vaguely know who you are and what you are interested in, right? If you don't know this, it's really a disaster.

If you know what you are interested in, do it bit by bit. No matter how many voices try to turn you around and say that this thing you love and are fascinated by has no money, no future, no development and no hope, please calmly say to him or her: fuck off, this is my own life.

Not why, but because of love. A thousand dollars can't buy love.

I sent some articles I have written in recent years to Mr. Dan Qing. He was very happy and wrote back that it was better to be quiet, but he should write slowly. He didn't say that you should work harder in writing and become a famous journalist and writer one day. I know what he means: do it slowly if you like.

It doesn't matter where you go.

Third, why make life "draw the ground as a prison"

My friend asked me, do you want to be an excellent reporter in the future? I said, I don't know. He was surprised. Aren't you from the media circle? I am also very surprised, why should I define my life in my early twenties? The definition is shackles, that is, painting the ground as a prison. At this age, shouldn't we try our best to stretch our tentacles, touch different and diverse things, and perceive and observe a rich and infinite world?

Definition, that is, closing the door of possibility. How do you know that you won't encounter more curious and exciting things in the future? You are only in your twenties, twenties, twenties. Why can't I become a professional traveler? Why can't you be an NGO? Why can't I suddenly fall in love with photography after coding for several years? Why not?

The advantage of reading celebrity biographies is that you can refer to your own life through the choices of others at critical moments in life; The negative effect may be even more deadly-"I am determined to be a child ...".

If you go back and sort out your life course and spend some thoughts, you will see a seemingly clear trajectory and route, and then "suddenly realize": I embarked on this road step by step, and I originally wanted to be such a person from the beginning. If you have written a PS for applying to a school, you may have a similar experience. However, this may be a deceptive "illusion"-looking back at past resumes, there are bound to be summaries and classifications, and it is not difficult to draw a main line from them. Probably, you didn't want to be such a person from the beginning, and you didn't even know where you were going. You just walk in a daze and follow your interests.

Yes, it's interest, not planning-"I'm determined to be a ...".

If I become exterior gateway protocol inexplicably in the future, I can also deeply recall in my personal biography that "I have been determined to be a professional extranet gateway protocol since I was a child", because I have been playing video games since I was 4 years old, and I am still an enthusiast.

Don't forget, Feng Tang was a poet and a literary youth when he was young. Later, I got a doctor's degree in gynecology, then I became a doctor, and now I am in industry.

Don't forget, Lao Luo thought he was isolated from the words "teacher" and "English" all his life until he was 27 years old.

I have always been wary of the word "planning". The so-called career planning and life planning fool people.

Life depends on perception, how to plan? Career depends on opportunity and exploration. How to design? And how to plan success is even more nonsense. When Mr. Dan Qing boarded the plane to the United States at the age of 28, how did he plan his life to become a scholar and celebrity who spoke for the public? He just likes painting, just painting, painting with a brush; When Qin Hui 15 went to the countryside to jump the queue, she thought she would stay in the countryside all her life. How can she "aspire to be the benchmark of China's ideological circle"? He just likes reading, likes reading, and likes reading locally.

If I have the opportunity to be invited to give a lecture among young people in my 40 s and 50 s, it must be called "my life has no plan"; What should I do if I am embarrassed and I am a neglected Lu Se from a secular point of view? Then I told my grandson a funny story about "Life without Planning".

No one has the right to tell you how to live.

If you often attend Chinese mainland's Thought and Humanities Salon, oh no, or it's just an ordinary celebrity lecture. In the questioning session, it is almost impossible for you to miss a question, "Hello, Mr. XX, what are your views and suggestions on contemporary young people?"

According to the unanimous complaints of some speakers, this is almost their most disgusting and boring question. Perhaps it is hard for even the questioner to realize that this stupid question has a subtle psychological cause: please tell us how to be as successful and excellent as you.

Or what? As a scholar said, a young man begged an old man to teach him how to face the new world. Is it funny? Teacher Dan Qing said, do whatever you like, what's it to me? You are finally born in an era of free choice, but you still want others to guide you how to live.

Really don't even know what you like to do and how to live? I just want to win, but I'm afraid of losing. What to do and what road to take is not to try and make mistakes step by step with your inner voice? Come back if you go wrong; If you are in a hurry, slow down. Stop from time to time to think, look, think about it, and then go on.

How can you not trip? How can everything go smoothly? How can there be a road that Ma Pingchuan called "success" for you to take? How do you know what kind of people to get along with without making a few mistakes? In the same way, how can you know what you like and don't like without trying?

As teacher Dan Qing said in her letter to Jia, "We must all save ourselves step by step. I draw step by step, and Jia relies on inch-by-inch film. "

The choice of young people is like the portrayal of the whole country's quick success, "pollution first, governance later", success first, growth later, employment first, interest later, getting ahead first, self-pursuit later. A friend in the workplace complained that he was lost and confused at work. I wonder if I am suitable for this job?

I asked, what exactly do you like to do? He didn't know for a long time.

Some people have made it clear that I don't like my job. So should I sign up for Latin dance class or guitar class?

It's no problem to engage in a career that is not your interest. I just develop my hobbies in my spare time. But I later realized that "I don't know what I like to do" is a hundred times more disastrous than "I can't do what I like to do".

Huang Lv once wrote in "State Affairs", "Now think about what China's parents taught him since he was a child, asking him to keep studying, asking him to finish reading the book and then go to work, which really kills people. This seems to be a sign of sinking, but in fact, the more you go to school, the more impetuous you become. It is easier for Americans to find their own life if they walk around for a year. Life is a process of precipitation. What are you doing on the degree ladder? "

This reminds me of a story I heard. After graduating from university, an Australian worked as a reporter for Al Jazeera for three years, traveled around Europe, then went to study for a master's degree in philosophy and economics and volunteered in Africa for two years. By the time he and one of my sisters became classmates in a master's program called "Human Rights", he was 33 years old. I don't understand why he didn't go on to study for a doctor after finishing his master's degree. "He came to study for a year or two before discovering new interests in life, but these interests are not as deep as those of a doctor, and the direction of doctoral research is likely to be a lifelong career," said the teacher elder sister. Then he will be 35 years old after graduation. What would he do? He doesn't seem sure.

This seems to be an unreliable negative example. Just like some old classmates' impressions of me. When they are talking, they envy your colorful life. They sighed sympathetically after listening to my latest plan. How old are you after studying abroad? 27 years old. Are you still studying for a PhD? I don't know, so when are you getting married? Who knows, 30? Probably got married when I was studying. You are so unreliable, I'm underage ... How awesome job can I find when I come back from studying abroad? I said that going abroad is not necessarily to find a better job. I can do what I want to do now without studying abroad. Huh? What's the point of going abroad?

Personal experience, vision, self-improvement. Look at the bigger world and find more possibilities in yourself.

I didn't say that after all.

5. Do you want to be happy or "be a big shot"

Have you ever thought that in this life, you are just a mediocre little person after all, and all your dreams have not come true?

I asked everyone in the south wall group. Teacher Ma said, no, to be honest, everyone is great people. Follow your own pace step by step, and you won't be bad.

Some friends also asked me. If you are just a mediocre person after all, those awesome dreams have not come true and the world has not changed at all, will you be happy?

I asked, didn't you eat and wear warm clothes? He said, that's for sure, it's not that bad. It's just ordinary, maybe just an ordinary reporter editor. At work, he doesn't have much glory. He earns up to 10,000 yuan a month, pays the house, raises children and drives an ordinary car. No pain, no glory, live a good life.

Is there enough room at home for me to hang curtains and turn on the projector for live broadcast? Of course.

Do you still like football, reading and everything you liked when you were young? be

Sometimes three or five friends, string beer, talk about wine; Sometimes on Saturday and Sunday, meet at the stadium? Yes, happy.

He looked me in the eye. Happy. I nodded.

Not long ago, I traveled to the Northeast, and what I felt most on the way was the difference between tour guides, flight attendants and salespeople. You will easily find that personality completely separates people from others.

We have met enthusiastic and talkative tour guides who mingle with everyone, and we have also met tour guides who are black-faced and impatient without asking a few questions like guests owe her money. I have met flight attendants who are as fierce as all ordinary public servants, and I have also met flight attendants who are wearing uniforms and sitting in carriages joking with passengers.

If you were an ordinary tour guide and stewardess, how would you treat your guests? Considering that this is a "one-shot deal" that will never be dealt with again, few people really have the luxury to complain about your poor service attitude.

Considering that your perfect service attitude probably won't bring you any substantial benefits, except a thank you and a smiling face from the guests. Your company doesn't notice your "excellent performance". Good performance will not be promoted, and poor performance will be difficult to be dismissed. In China, people who have been repeatedly complained about their bad attitude towards their guests may win the favor of the leaders and get promoted faster than you. You know that.

In a word, your service attitude can't bring any visible benefits to your real life. You will be an ordinary tour guide, stewardess and salesman all your life. What would you do?

Yes, you may be a mediocre person all your life, but your attitude will still have an impact on the quality of life. You love life and work, and sincerely feel, understand and treat others. Maybe it didn't bring any real returns and changes to your life, but it softened the boundaries between you and your heart and the world. You constantly accept positive feedback from others (thanks, smiles, kindness), and then constantly release positive energy, forming a virtuous circle.

I will remember the enthusiasm, hearty and smiling faces of tour guides, flight attendants and salesmen for a long time. It's warm to think of it.

They may be tour guides, flight attendants and salesmen all their lives, and it is difficult for them to get promoted, but from their work attitude, I read real happiness.

Isn't it the best reward to do what you like? Just as writing is the reward of writing, painting is the reward of painting.

Six, growth is an hour.

I once liked a friend's signature document, Being a Better Person.

This relaxed but firm sentence has given me strength countless times.

Now, I feel that this sentence is full of "higher, faster and stronger" progressive tone. In the overwhelming inspirational words, I just fell in love with "Destroying ambition". I prefer to use the word "perception". Maybe we can't create life and plan life. Perhaps, body odor, experience, feeling and understanding are the keys to growth?

Become a better person? If I sit in the sun with my mother and talk about aimlessness, childhood, growth and family chores all afternoon, will I become a better person? If you don't read Wittgenstein's biography, Han Han's latest blog and refresh Weibo today, just cook yourself a delicious meal and lie in your lover's arms in a daze, is it a waste of life?

China's generation of young people may face some specious self-contradictions. On the one hand, we are an unprecedented premature aging generation, "18 years old becomes old", and we are nostalgic at the age of 20. Although we are still young, the time of "you love talking and I love laughing" has become the collective homesickness of a generation; On the other hand, I desperately want to run forward, want to live a secure and carefree life, want to embrace a certain sense of certainty, want to be anxious, and want to be like a person in his 30 s and 40 s, and have a successful career.

Do you, do you, do you really like being young? Why are you running so hard while nostalgic?

Do you, you, you really like adventure and rafting? Why give the ideal to stability and real estate license as warlords?

Do you, do you, do you really cherish this possibility? Why do I see that you would rather die young than embrace the "end of life"?

The possibility of a better life lies not in gradual experience and silent feeling day by day, but in a grand sketch of the future?

Married people, people who have children, people who have been promoted to the metre level, people who have worked as small managers, people who have graduated from doctors, people who buy houses and cars, walk so fast. I used to be anxious, but later I found out it wasn't my rhythm. I am a slow cow. In the wrong direction, I walked a big circle. If you are in the right direction, you are not afraid of slowness.

Step by step, inch by inch, bit by bit, day by day, slowly.

I don't know where I'm going in the end, but I'm still wandering around, looking around, stopping one step at a time, touching this and that, trying to perceive, observe and understand the world. Fresh and curious. But I am sure that I will only take the road I want to take; I am sure that I will follow my heart and live in the truth, just like Javier said.

20 1 1 This year may be the worst year in my life, and my plan has been stranded because of repeated setbacks. Looking back and looking at 20 12 on tiptoe, I still want to say slowly, we are all going to die for a long time, why are we in such a hurry? Take your time.

All growth and greatness, "like traditional Chinese medicine and old fire soup, are boiled out hour by hour."

Seven, life is not afraid of walking slowly, and it is afraid of going the wrong way.

When I first came to America, I always heard people in China say that America is lazy. I can cite many examples. Americans will definitely go on vacation every year, or at least go to the beach and lie on the beach.

People in China want to do things, but they do them day and night. Speaking of bitterness, it is also chinese odyssey. I often hear Americans say that people in Chinese restaurants really work hard, working six days a week, and people who run restaurants even work seven days a day. In American restaurants, the daily classes are divided into afternoon classes and evening classes, and the average waiter only works for five and a half days.

However, you really need to talk to those restaurant owners. They will tell you that once you earn enough money, you will never open a restaurant again.

Because of fatigue, boring things can't last long, can't innovate, and can't become first-class. Therefore, Chinese food is almost synonymous with fast food in the United States, not a sign of high-end.

Americans seem lazy and fun, but the United States is still super strong, and China people work hard, but China is still a developing country. This is the secret.

And although China people walk fast, they often go the wrong way. Americans walk slowly, but often go the right way.

When you walk fast, if you make mistakes, you will lose a lot. Steelmaking in the fifties, everyone smashed iron pots to make steel. In a year, steel production is almost as beautiful as that of the Premier League. But steel-making was exhausted, and the succession was weak, and then disaster followed.

The advantage of being slow is that you have enough time to evaluate the results and stop if there are mistakes. China's current rapid economic growth is celebrated by the whole country, but it is not without hidden worries, and the damage to the environment is amazing. Environmental pollution affects people's health, increases medical expenses and reduces people's quality of life.

The money that China people spend on housing maintenance every year. Some 50-year-old houses are as good as new.

Hard work is better than skillful work. Skilled workers plan their work and make good use of existing resources, instead of simply starting a new stove every time they go to town.

Perseverance is the most important thing. Everyone in China knows this truth, but it can't be done in practice.

Students in China, some primary schools start to learn middle school content, middle schools start to learn university content, and some universities have juvenile classes. These people learn really fast. However, why are they not included in the Nobel Prize list?

The key is that many people run very fast, but they often have to change direction and have no perseverance. Many college students stop studying as soon as they leave school. The United States advocates lifelong learning.

Look at economists again. China students are better at mathematics than American students, but many more American economists have won the Nobel Prize than China. Considering that modern economics has applied profound mathematical knowledge, this is incredible.

However, further observation shows that this is also reasonable. Some scientists in America, including economists, have a strong competitive spirit. I have been engaged in research in one field all my life. If my belt is widened, I will never regret it. Finally, it is no accident to win the laurel in the middle of the month.

In the technical field, China people run software by opening restaurants, and many programmers are so tired that they want to change careers. The accumulation of a lot of experience will be in vain. I'm sorry.

Therefore, I want to say that life, as long as the direction is right, is not afraid to walk slowly. Slow down, maybe you will come back later, but you will guarantee the quality of success; Slow down, you may not reach the finish line so early, but you won't give up halfway because you are too tired or too impatient. What did you say?/Sorry?

Eight, the best growth is to live every moment.

William osler is a famous doctor. He is more and more exposed to people who are sick because of troubles and worries. They are always depressed for a long time because they are too worried about the past and the future, which destroys their health. In order to treat these people's diseases more thoroughly, he gave them a simple but effective prescription: "Every moment is unique", which means: We live today, as long as we do well today, we don't have to worry about tomorrow or the day after tomorrow; We live in this moment, so we should cherish this moment. Every moment is unique and never comes back.

He said, "Cherish this moment and today infinitely. What else is there to worry about? " ? It is enough to live until bedtime every day. People who often don't know how to resist troubles always die young. "Indeed, I am worried every day. My body is like a rope. If I pull it, it will break sooner or later.

……

Take one day at a time and pay more attention to the present time and day. When we divide the day into small parts, everything will become much easier. If we only live in every moment, we have no time to regret, no time to worry, and only focus on the present. Smart people only chew a small piece of life at a time because they won't choke.

Each present is unique, it is not a continuation of the past, nor is it a linear future one after another. Time is connected by countless "moments", and every moment will be eternal.

Therefore, when we eat, no matter what we are eating, we must eat completely: when we play, no matter what we are playing, we must play completely; When we fall in love with each other, we should love each other thoroughly, regardless of the past or the future, and devote ourselves wholeheartedly.

Just like Scarlett, the heroine of Gone with the Wind, she always said to herself in troubled moments, "I don't want to think about it now, but I'll talk about it tomorrow." After all, tomorrow is another day. " Yesterday has passed, and tomorrow has not come yet. Why do you think so much? It is the truest thing to live this moment well, otherwise, where will you find the time when this moment is about to disappear?

I have a little relative whose grandmother died when she was in primary school. Grandma loved him the most, and the little guy couldn't rule out his sadness. He doesn't think about tea and rice every day, has no intention of studying, and is immersed in pain all day. People around him say that he is a good boy who understands feelings, but his parents are very anxious, because it is normal to be sad for two days a day and understandable to be sad for two weeks a week. But after half a year, he still cries from time to time and refuses to eat and study well, which seriously affects his growth.

Mom and dad don't know how to comfort him. I happened to come to their house once, and when I saw this situation, I decided to talk to the little boy.

"Why are you so sad?" I asked him.

"Because grandma will never come back." He replied.

"Do you know what will never come back?" I asked.

"Well, I don't know. What else can't come back? " Unable to answer, he asked again.

"Everything is in time, and the past will never come back. Just like your yesterday, it will always be yesterday, and we can't go back to yesterday to make up for anything; Just like when dad was as young as you, if you didn't have fun in such a small childhood and didn't lay a solid foundation for learning, you would never be able to go back and start again; Just like today's sun is about to set, if you miss today's sun, you will never find yourself again. "

He is really a clever boy. From now on, when he comes home from school every day and watches the sun sink under the horizon inch by inch in his yard, he will know that the day is really over. Although there will be a new sun tomorrow, there will never be today's sun. He knows not to dwell on the past, but to study life well and seize every moment of the present.

Every day, every hour and every minute is a special moment, and every moment is unique. Because, in the past, there is no turning back.

Life, the present is true, and fate is illusory. Therefore, I want to encourage all readers and friends: every moment in front of me, we must live seriously; Do everything seriously; Everyone should take it seriously, because "fate has become an illusion", don't let yourself leave regrets that are too late. The dead can't be chased, and the newcomers can still wait. The most important thing to cherish is the present-the meaning of life is made up of every unique moment.