"Married to spend money hard, and hurt her mother-in-law and husband. Can you live well after marriage? " what do you think?

I once asked a friend, "How much bride price do you think is appropriate when you get married?"

She gave me a look and then replied, "I think our feelings are more important than anything else." That's what she said and did, so she didn't want anything when she got married.

When we put love itself at a certain height, we really ignore or care about a lot of things.

But it's a pity that the friend who wants nothing is not happy after marriage. The love she once cherished faded away in the daily necessities of life.

She used to be a girl who loved to laugh. I used to call her silly, low-pitched, silly smile. She has a warm smile and two small dimples, which make people very happy.

I don't know how she changed slowly. I found that she had two children with her when she changed, and the state of hair all day was "I am so angry". "Did I owe your family in my last life?" Wait, in that case.

When I met her, she seemed much older and stopped laughing. I'm a little surprised: she is obviously not yet 30 years old. Is marriage really that old?

She said that she lived with her mother-in-law all day. Even after listening to her finish, I think the words "wits and courage" should really be quoted. This is a family conflict.

Her husband works outside, and she and her mother-in-law take care of the children at home. Mother-in-law doesn't like her, which is puzzling. She said that her mother-in-law looked down on her because she was pregnant before marriage.

She saw it from the beginning, but she didn't care. At that time, she didn't think her mother-in-law could affect her marriage at all. She and her husband got married because of love. At first, the family disagreed. She blocked all the pressure by herself.

She got married without asking anything. This is what my mother-in-law often talks about after marriage: "I didn't spend money anyway, I can marry again!" " Of course I said it outside, not in front of her.

She found out later, so sometimes she deliberately finds her mother-in-law unhappy.

02

She said that she would not choose divorce, on the one hand, because she already has two children, and on the other hand, her husband is kind to her and will protect her most of the time.

However, the battle of wits between her and her mother-in-law should last forever.

In sharp contrast with her, it's my other best friend. My best friend and her boyfriend met in college, and they got married half a year after graduation, and they got married outside. The two places are far apart.

She and her husband love each other very much, but when they got married, her attitude was completely different from my friend's.

I believe that many married girls have experienced such a situation: on the wedding day, the woman usually goes to the hotel to book a room in advance, and then the man comes to the hotel to pick up the bride that day.

Doing so saves time and effort, and secondly saves money.

But my best friend is not like this. He insisted that the man drive a wedding motorcade from other provinces thousands of miles away, and then pick up the relatives of the woman. As her best friend, I also went to see her off.

The wedding car team came one day in advance, set off at 5: 30 the next morning and arrived after 5: 00 in the afternoon. It happened that the custom of the man's side was to hold a wedding at night, so I went straight to the wedding scene after I went there.

In that case, it will definitely cost a lot of money.

In addition to these, there are basic bride price jewelry and so on. My best friend said to her boyfriend, "No one can be less. I won't marry you if you are less! "

To tell you the truth, I was surprised at that time. Obviously it started with love, why do you care about this? Moreover, the girlfriend's family is good, and the dowry is far more than a bride price.

She looked at me and gave me a serious suggestion: "When you get married, you must spend money hard, which will hurt your mother-in-law and husband, so that you can live well after marriage!"

03

After listening to her finish this sentence, I automatically changed the exclamation point at the back of my mind to a question mark: If I get married, I must spend money hard to make my mother-in-law and husband sad, so that I can live well after marriage?

What theory is this?

She looked at me doubtfully and said, "I'm doing the last hurdle, just in case." Although they all seem to like me now, they are not married yet. Who can say after marriage? "

She continued: "Just like falling in love, people who pay a lot are always reluctant to part. Similarly, my mother-in-law is heartbroken when I spend money. In case she is not satisfied with me, think about money and be nice to me, right? Divorce is not good for them, and people and money are empty. "

I'm a little surprised at her theory, but I still don't know what to say after thinking about it.

She has been married for over a year. She said that her mother-in-law is very kind to her and usually helps her with housework. There is almost no contradiction between them. She is also very kind to her mother-in-law, and they get along well.

She has always felt that the current state of the two people is largely due to their own practices when they got married.

I think, maybe, what she said is true. Her strength in marriage and life really makes her mother-in-law look up to her and want to trust her as a daughter-in-law.

Or maybe the extra money she spent when she got married was useless. Their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law had a harmonious relationship, just because her mother-in-law happened to be such a good person.

However, it is undeniable that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always existed in many marriages.

Some daughter-in-law spoke out that she had met an unreasonable mother-in-law, and some mother-in-law also complained that she had met a difficult daughter-in-law. Anyway, they all said that they were reasonable and did not give way to each other.

Just like my friend who didn't want anything when I got married, I regret it now. She always thinks: I have paid so much, why did I get such a result?

She even wondered if her husband and his family would be better off now if they embarrassed them when they got married.

However, these things cannot be verified. Because all existence is accidental and inevitable, it can't be defined by just one aspect.

I think the only thing we can do is to be as careful as possible before getting married. If you are not married, you must think carefully if you can't get along with your mother-in-law. Marriage is not about two people.

What should be the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in your eyes?