Is it worth forgiving for emotional infidelity?

Weibo saw such a question: Can an affair be forgiven?

Some people say that cheating must be based on the actual relationship, and people will inevitably meet more than one person in this life.

Because cheating is really human nature.

Teacher Liu Qi once said:

Faced with the temptation of the opposite sex, it is easy for men to have a "comparative cognition" mentality. They compare the temptation outside with their wives or girlfriends at home and finally come to a better conclusion.

The more cognitive psychology tends to push men to verify the results. In other words, if he thinks the outside is better, he will cheat and possess the temptation outside.

You fall in love with someone and marry someone, but when someone better than you appears, he will still jump out.

Therefore, cheating is really an instinct.

But which is more serious, emotional derailment or physical derailment? There are the following statements.

Emotional infidelity is melodramatic, and no physical infidelity is a ritual.

Although emotional infidelity and physical infidelity are both forms of infidelity, they are essentially different.

Emotional infidelity means that a person has feelings for another person from the bottom of his heart, and they didn't put the infidelity into practice just because they didn't dare to take that step.

Someone asked me before:

Occasionally, I look through the other person's mobile phone and find that he is chatting with others, and his words are extremely ambiguous, but as can be seen from the conversation, they have not made substantial progress.

I asked him the same question, and he admitted it.

But he kept apologizing to me, saying that he was just confused for a moment, wanted to pursue the so-called novelty, and had a different feeling for another person. But he knows very well that family is the most important thing to him, and he also promises that he will not be half-hearted in the future.

Is it necessary to continue this relationship?

Actually, the answer is really simple. No man, after being discovered by the other half, feels that he is not wrong and wants a divorce.

They cheat emotionally because they want to pursue the freshness and excitement outside marriage, but at the same time they don't want to give up their already happy family.

Once discovered, their first reaction must be to admit their mistake and apologize, and promise not to make it again.

However, this promise is nothing more than sweet talk to save the marriage. Once he chooses to forgive, he will do the same thing again, and he will probably be more cautious than before.

Emotional infidelity, it's only a matter of time before you have an affair.

Some people say that emotional infidelity does not actually constitute an affair, because everyone has a demon in his heart.

When a bad idea is not put into practice, it cannot be established.

But you must be clear that from emotional derailment to physical derailment is actually a process from quantitative change to qualitative change.

This is like a "cheating story" I have seen before:

When the wife found out that her husband had an ambiguous chat partner, she didn't know whether she should tell the truth. Their conversation is only occasionally ambiguous and they care about each other's daily life. Occasionally quarrel, the husband will tell another person.

But she is worried that if she questions her husband with such a chat record, she will be accused of distrust by her husband. So she put up with it and went on living as if nothing had happened.

She will also check his mobile phone regularly, and she doesn't know what she is waiting for. I hope to find something, but I'm afraid to find something.

Finally one day, she waited for a hotel registration record.

By that time, marriage will be beyond redemption. The husband confessed everything to her and decided to divorce. He said: after a long time, I really fell in love with someone else.

In fact, she found out early that there might be a chance to save this marriage. Although it can't guarantee the future, it can also kill this wrong relationship in the cradle.

It's just that she chose forbearance and silence, conniving at the breeding and development of a false feeling.

Never expect a man to suddenly wake up and turn around.

Emotional infidelity, it's only a matter of time before you have an affair.

Physical infidelity means that even the minimum responsibility is gone.

Extramarital affairs happen because the boring life day after day and year after year has lost its passion.

The reason why extramarital affairs are shady is because he is very aware of the relationship between family and lover.

All these worries and worries are spiritual thoughts.

As a man, he is well aware of his family burden and responsibility, so even if they have the idea of pursuing excitement, they are only playing ambiguous at most.

But one day, he put the affair into action, indicating that he dared to bear the consequences of the relationship exposure.

Therefore, emotional infidelity may be an idea that most men have, but infidelity means that he can lose even the minimum responsibility.

In fact, most people have a serious fear of cheating.

These include fear of lover leaving, fear of insecurity, fear of trouble after derailment, fear of entanglement with a third party, fear of being discovered, fear of losing face after being exposed. ...

Because of this series of fears, many people's derailment will only stay at the spiritual level.

But when one day they practice, it shows that they have become indifferent to these fears, that is, they have lost their minimum responsibility and bottom line.

What is the difference between emotional infidelity and physical infidelity?

Teacher Qilu once gave a very simple and practical definition:

When a man falls in love with an extramarital woman and takes certain actions, this love becomes a reality. Then you can be sure that this man is cheating. Not having sex is a psychological derailment. If you go to bed, it's physical infidelity.

From this definition, we know that there is no need for a man to entangle his affection for other women, as long as he ensures that he does not take action.

So, when you are obsessed with the seriousness of these two things, we must be clear:

A complete derailment actually includes the mental level and the physical level.

People in emotional infidelity lost their affection for one person from the inside out and gave it to another;

And a person who is physically derailed has gradually changed from human instinct to spiritual betrayal.

To put it bluntly, there is only a thin line between the two, and it is only a matter of time.

The three elements of a person's infidelity are: the right object, the right psychology and the right timing.

A previous survey showed that the cheating rate of men was 1 1.8% in 2000, and it became 34.8% in 20 15. In 20 15 years, women will soon reach 15%.

In this era of high derailment rate, it is another story to tolerate or manage, forgive or not forgive.

What you have to do is not to dwell on which form of derailment is more worthy of forgiveness, because there is no distinction between high and low derailment, but for emotional betrayal.

I hope you can all find someone who is consistent in love and has the same initial heart.

Click "Learn more" to judge whether a man is cheating.