Life without being recognized by relatives is very painful. What should I do?

The dog, her best friend, was heartbroken at her mother's funeral. Her sadness is not only because of her mother's departure, but also because she is unwilling. She said that her mother had never understood her all her life. If she could understand her more, the relationship between mother and daughter would never be so cold.

The dead are gone! The dog's regret is irreparable. What mother doesn't love her children? But the dog said her mother didn't understand her, so she couldn't love her.

At school, her mother always scolded her because she was always late for school, but she didn't know that she was fooling around because she wanted to avoid the boy who waited for her to go to school every day. She was afraid to tell her mother, because that would only be more abused by her mother.

When she got married, her mother blamed her for finding a poor man who couldn't help the family at all. But I don't know, if it weren't for this man, she would have been killed in a traffic accident. Mom didn't know that this man melted the ice in the dog's heart with his sincerity. She didn't tell her mother all this. If she did, her mother would say she was hopeless.

Later, her husband cheated, she divorced, and then raised her son alone. Mom said she was a loser, even a man like that didn't want her, and she still insisted on the custody of the child foolishly. Her heart is bleeding, but she can't get a word of comfort from her mother.

After raising his son alone for seven years, DOG missed many men with good conditions. She has no regrets and can't accept her son's man. Why did she marry him? Mother naturally scolded her for not being enlightened and was angry that she didn't return her son to her ex-husband. But the dog has made up his mind that the man she marries must be willing to let her take her son.

In the eighth year of divorce, a man named Lin Dong finally entered the dog world. He is a middle school Chinese teacher. He is elegant, open-minded and thoughtful. He has been widowed and single for five years. DOG was tempted. The key point was that he didn't expect her to take her son. He said he could take DOG with him to take care of the children. But he is ten years older than the dog, and he has a son and a daughter in college, so he has a heavy financial burden.

DOG hesitated, but he liked his temperament and gentle personality from the bottom of his heart, so they were together after half a year.

As soon as mother knew it, she turned to call the dog and was scolded as soon as she met. You're shameless. Why don't you get married at this age? What kind of person is this? You are old and have no money. Do you want to embarrass me and your father?

The dog cried, but could not say a word. She hates that she is so weak in front of her mother, but she is powerless to change.

A month later, at the repeated request of the dog's mother, Lin Dong gave the dog a bride price of 30,000 yuan, and then hosted a banquet for relatives and friends at the hotel. Throughout the meal, the dog mother kept a straight face because there were too few bride price, no floats and weddings, and the hotel was not up to standard.

The dog wants to cry, she has no job, Lin Dong is only an intermediate title, her salary is not high, and their economy is not well off. Even according to their mother's minimum requirements, they have already owed countless debts. She doesn't understand why her mother doesn't understand her so much and makes her so embarrassed.

Lin Dong comforted her and said that it was right to be filial to her mother, only blaming herself for her inability to make her mother-in-law unhappy. But in the future, he must treat the dog and his children well and try to make his mother-in-law accept him.

The next few years went smoothly. Lin Dong kept his promise, and the life of the puppy and her children was well taken care of. The dog is also very kind to Lin Dong's son and daughter, and the family gets along well. The dog's anxiety and depression gradually dissipated, and life seemed to calm down.

Who knows, it won't last long. The dog's brother-in-law was paralyzed in bed after an accident, then the dog's father was hospitalized for surgery, and then his brother's children studied art in an emergency. This series of things appeared one after another. Mother was upset and blamed all this on the dog, saying that as the boss, she didn't pay more to help her relatives. Really useless!

The dog's heart is completely broken! In these things, which one is not the dog and her husband Lin Dong working hard? They have paid and contributed, and the family can't control it. She was exhausted, and Lin Dong also found out the gastric ulcer. Mom never cares whether the couple are tired or not, only blames them for not trying their best.

The dog is very humble and feels sorry for her husband. The burden on her heart grew heavier every day, and finally she suffered from mild depression.

Mother finally calmed down, but there was still nothing to comfort her. She just ignored her love from now on, and the relationship between mother and daughter was once a stranger.

Until half a year ago, the dog's mother was ill and hospitalized, and her brothers and sisters were tied at home. She had to take the dog and her husband to stay at her mother's bedside.

The sick mother still looks pale, and DOG doesn't want to say much, just trying to take good care of her every day. Husband Lin Dong took time to go home and make fish soup for his mother-in-law and took it to the hospital. They are tired, but they don't regret it.

One day, the dog boiled water and returned to the door of the ward, but he heard his mother say to the nurse, "She is my sister and should take care of me!" Who told her that she didn't do her duty as a boss? Is I don't let the old two old three go to the hospital ... "

The dog's tears welled up. She rushed into the ward, put down the kettle and turned and ran out. ......

Who knows, a few days later, my mother got worse and died without saying a word to the dog before she died.

At his mother's funeral, DOG's loss of control was sad. If her mother were still alive, would she feel sorry for her daughter?

Some people say that a person who has been living a humble life, tracing back to the source, will often find that in the process of his growth, there is absolutely no one who constantly denies him and is very close to him.

The dog was 43 years old when her mother died, but she still couldn't get rid of the psychological shadow caused by her mother and finally failed to reconcile with her mother. This knot, which is not accepted by the closest relatives, may accompany her all her life. It's terrible to think about it.

Mother dog has a strong personality, withdrawn and indifferent, treats the relationship between mother and daughter simply and rudely, and often scolds and insults. Not caring about her daughter's inner activities, closing the door of mother-daughter heart-to-heart, hurting her eldest daughter's dog, and also encouraging her second and third children to rely on taking and being ungrateful.

She is an unqualified mother, which is the key factor leading to the dog's flattering personality.

There is a saying on the internet that there are often deliberate, persistent, lack of reflection and repentance in relationships, which will make a person have pathological pleasing behavior.

All the choices made by the dog since childhood are wrong in the eyes of his mother, and all the feedback the dog gets from her is denial, criticism and rejection. Such treatment is hard for adults to accept, let alone childhood dogs.

This attitude has created the dog's strong desire to be accepted since childhood, so she tries to please her mother again and again. The real situation went from bad to worse until she became an adult, and the pent-up dissatisfaction and resentment had nowhere to go, and finally got out of control at her mother's funeral.

If mother is still alive, she still has hope and hopes to get her understanding one day. Later, her mother's death made her completely desperate. From then on, she never had a chance to ease the relationship with her mother, and she never got her mother's understanding. This will be a lifelong regret for her. Can she not be heartbroken?

The best feeling in the world is to understand each other's difficulties. As a close relative, DOG's desire to be understood by his mother is particularly strong, but it can only be a pity. Therefore, it is very important for dogs to get rid of this psychological shadow for the rest of their lives, otherwise they will spend their whole lives in pain. So how do you get rid of it? My suggestions are as follows:

First of all, we must understand that not all mothers can understand their children, and your mother is no exception.

Mom is an ordinary person, she will make mistakes such as bias and narrowness, and this life is doomed to be unable to change the harm caused by her shortcomings.

What do we do? There is a saying that if we can't change others, we will change ourselves. Nowadays, dogs can only learn to change themselves, forgive and accept, let go and try to reconcile with the past.

Second, cherish the feelings with your husband. Re-establish self-confidence in this healthy relationship, know yourself correctly, accept your imperfections and reconcile with yourself.

Jiang said that everyone has his own unique value. If you give up your personality and value in order to create a person you like, it means that the person you attract is not the one who really appreciates you. People who really appreciate you will always appreciate your pride, not your pretending modesty and loveliness.

Live not to be a better self, but to be a better self. Only in this way can we really have a good life of our own.

Third, cultivate your hobbies, read more books, improve your cognition, strengthen the psychological defense mechanism, make yourself optimistic and cheerful, and abandon the shadow of the past.

Fourth, learn a lesson, attach importance to the relationship with children, avoid the negative impact of negative behavior, and don't repeat the same mistakes.

Life will not always be so lucky, and it is inevitable to meet people who don't know themselves or even deny and denigrate their negative energy. What we can do is to improve ourselves, enhance our resilience, and be less affected and unaffected.

The best feeling in the world is to understand each other's difficulties. Let's work hard, good things will come.