A 28-year-old woman cried bitterly late at night: The sign of incompetence is not crying, but not embarrassing herself

Last night, I heard the girl next door crying. The sound was louder and softer at times, which made me feel distressed.

I don’t know why she was crying. I don’t know if it was because she lost her job at the age of 28, or because she was crying because of the recent breakup.

I wanted to comfort her, but I didn’t know what to say. But I want to tell her: No matter what the reason is, believe me, everything will be fine.

Actually, crying can't change anything, but I think it's good to cry out.

01

Before, I always thought that "crying" was synonymous with the weak. Later I discovered that only those who dare not cry are weak.

After all, the sign of adult incompetence is not crying, but embarrassment for oneself!

I have always told myself not to cry since I was a child, so I hardly cried. I didn’t cry when the teacher criticized me, and I didn’t cry even when I fell and hurt. Watching touching movies, all the girls I cried a lot, but I still didn't cry.

Sometimes I also wonder if my consciousness has imprisoned me into a very cold-blooded person.

However, it is also possible that I have not experienced any storms and heavy rains. Later, the older I grew up, the more fragile I became. Thinking about the three years after I graduated, I cried many times.

What left a deep impression was the time when I just graduated and started working, and cried because of work matters.

I am a very stupid, careless and sloppy person. When I just graduated, I worked as a sales coordinator in a five-star hotel. I had to send emails to report various situations in the hotel before leaving get off work every day. However, my first When I sent an email once, I sent the email and forgot to bring the attachment...

You must know that the people receiving the email are the hotel's senior managers and the hotel general manager.

Hey, this stupid thing not only embarrasses myself, but also embarrasses our manager.

Our manager said that he wanted to recruit girls because girls are attentive. He didn’t expect that I was more careless than boys.

And this kind of thing happened two or three times before I can remember it. I was careless and the hotel was very busy. I felt that my brain capacity was very small. I either forgot this or that, and couldn't do anything. good.

So one time I really couldn’t stand it anymore. On the way to get off work with Anna, we complained while walking.

I remember at that time, I was crying on the street and said, I just want to cry when I am unhappy, I don’t care whether I am embarrassed or not, I love whomever.

Just like Yi Shu said in "Absolutely a Dream": It's good to be able to cry. Crying is a symbol of the beginning of recovery.

Don’t tell me, I felt really good after crying, and my mood suddenly felt better.

In fact, most people in this society are actually different from what they appear to be. They do things against their own will just because they are afraid of being laughed at by the world.

Me too, I was afraid of being laughed at so I didn’t cry. But after I was released, I found that I was not afraid of anything anymore.

02

The second time I remember crying was after I came to Beijing. During that time, I cried every day, and my pillow was wet from crying every day. Treat yourself to depression.

When I first came to Beijing alone, others said to me: Wow, you are so brave. I admire you so much for being a girl alone in Beijing.

I...

In fact, it’s not that I’m brave, it’s just that I’m fearless. I just don’t know how tiring or dangerous the outside world is, so I came without any pressure.

How should I put it, I came to Beijing to pursue my so-called dream. But I was deeply shocked. All the jobs I wanted to take were rejected because of my low academic qualifications and lack of experience. I was thinking at that time that my ideals were just a lie.

Some people say that when you open the door to mourning, others will also open a window to mourning. During that time, the world did not like me, and Mercury retrograde was more common. In short, the world I see is terrible, and the world I write is also terrible. I don’t believe in society or the world.

Therefore, I have been denying myself. I can't, I can't.

So, I cried every day, every day. I called Erhuang and cried, and I hid at home and cried alone. Sometimes I cried very loudly, but I didn't care whether others would hear me.

Actually, I think it’s very good. Tears are good and crying is quite useful. When I cried, it was like a farmer who had experienced a severe drought and finally waited for a heavy rain.

A study by the University of South Florida in the United States found that crying significantly improved the mood of nearly 90% of those who cried. Crying can play a better role in self-comfort and mood-lifting than antidepressants.

So, don’t suppress it and just cry if you want to.

03

It’s okay, just finish crying and everything will pass.

Look, I’m fine now.

In fact, I want to say that there is really no shame in crying. What is shameful is that we dare not face our own vulnerability bravely. As long as we stand up after crying, it does not prevent us from continuing to fight monsters.

The process of crying is the process of becoming strong from vulnerability. Because only by crushing yourself and gluing it back together can you know how strong you are.

Tears are a good thing that can wash away the sadness and sadness when shed. They are worth cherishing, because one day, you may really not be able to cry anymore.

Don’t be afraid. Crying should not be the exclusive name of children, nor should it be the exclusive term of the weak. It should be a term for venting emotions.

I remember this sentence in "Reencountering the Unknown Self":

Negative emotions are like darkness that cannot be driven away. The only thing that can be done is to bring in light.

If you are sad or sad, even if you don’t cry, you must find a way to drive out the darkness and find a way to fill your heart with sunshine.

Perhaps these methods can help you vent your emotions?

When you are angry, try to take a deep breath and go for a walk; when you are sad, go to karaoke and play games to vent; when you are sad, go for a run or travel; when you are desperate, eat a big meal and encourage yourself , we must believe that there is no obstacle that cannot be overcome.

No matter what you do, as long as you let your emotions shift and make yourself happy without breaking the law, congratulations.

Some people say that life is just a game to make yourself happy. In the end, it is impossible to tell who envy whom.

No matter what, let yourself be truly happy!