Ask for two funny stories

Zuishibashi

1: I want to count the stars.

At the end of the year, a colleague who was usually very calm drank his eyes red that day. When the leader saw that the situation was not good, he quickly asked me to take him home. But when I reached for a taxi, my colleague didn't get on the bus anyway, but sat on the side of the road with great interest. He looked up and said to the sky, "Who said there are countless stars in the sky? I want to count them all tonight! " "

2: Stop the police car

At a dinner party, a buddy drank a little too much, but he looked sober and everyone ignored him. At the end of the meal, the buddy suddenly rushed to the middle of the road, stretched out his hand and stopped a patrolling 1 10 police car, then opened the door and rushed to the police sitting inside and said loudly, I know your car is one kilometer (taxis in Qingdao are priced at one kilometer), but you don't have to write it so big for me. You think I'm nearsighted ...

3. Business is really good

Going to a restaurant for dinner, a buddy went to the toilet halfway, and when he came back, he mysteriously told us: "The business of this restaurant is so good that even the toilet has two tables!"

Just when everyone was wondering, a group of people rushed over, picked up the buddy and hit him. Of course, we quit and ask them: he didn't mess with you. Why did you hit him?

"Hit him? We had a delicious meal, but this guy went to our private room to pee. "

4: The car leaks oil.

There is a cool buddy who used to wear leather pants and drive a motorcycle to catch a meal. After a stupid drink, everyone retreated. When we parted on the side of the road, the buddy suddenly felt urgent to pee. He walked under a tree and unbuttoned his leather pants, but unbuttoned his belt. I saw him holding the belt and starting to relax in the tree. Finally, he was still shaking wildly with his belt.

Then, he rolled out his motorcycle. Just as he was about to start, he noticed that the ground under the leather pants was actually wet. So, he asked us in confusion: "Strange, how did my car leak oil?"

5: Big money delivery

When I was in a newspaper office, I had a colleague who had a legendary hobby. When you are drunk, you like to give people money, one hundred each, and let people take a taxi home. He is anxious with whoever doesn't want him, so don't beat others up.

But as soon as the next day passed, he ran to others one by one with special grievances and put on a sad face: "Brother, give me back the money I gave you yesterday ..."

The funniest thing is that the same thing happened to him three times in a month.

6: Throw a watch

My dad always likes to bet when he is drunk. Once he didn't come home late at night, we went to various pubs to find him. When I found him, he was shouting in the street to compare his watch with another person. At the end of the quarrel, his old man took the omega off his wrist and threw it across the street. Then he hurried over to pick it up and shouted excitedly, "Look, my watch is still running. Do you want to try? "

7: Four Seas at Home

There is a flower bed in front of my house. One morning when I went out, I found a buddy sleeping in a flower bed with only a pair of underwear on him.

And his shirt, trousers and tie are neatly stacked next to him, holding his mobile phone, which is actually turned off. There are also leather shoes, which are also neatly placed, with socks in the hole ... as if this guy is in charge of this.

Later, I thought, it's a good thing this guy doesn't have a hobby of sleeping naked, otherwise it would be more lively to watch.

8: Climb stairs

Once, a netizen came to Tianjin, claiming to pour us Shanghainese under the table. Of course we were not convinced, so we took turns to go into battle. From beer to red wine, from red wine to yellow wine, from yellow wine to white wine, the final result is that Tianjin men should have carried their wives with broken toes upstairs, but inexplicably carried my six-year-old daughter from the first floor to the seventh floor, and then staggered back from the seventh floor to the first floor, where they were beaten by their wives, and their eyes were blue.

9: Encountered robbers

After drinking with a group of people, I made an appointment to go to XXX's house. Walking, one person got lost, and another person went to find him.

Everyone went to a certain house first and sat down. After a while, the lost man came and proudly told everyone that he had met a robber and asked him to break him open with a brick. As soon as the words were finished, the person who went to look for him came. He said that he was lost in anger and hit him with a brick, which made him run away.

10: Here I come again.

Once, some friends made an appointment to go to a hotel called Fish Head King for a drink. One of them was drunk and insisted on rushing to another hotel to meet another group of drinkers. No one could stop him, so we had to let him go. Not long after, he suddenly appeared in front of us with a bright face and repeatedly apologized: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just drank wine and came late." As he spoke, he sat down and shouted at the waiter, "Hurry up and have dinner!" " "

Later, we learned that after he left us, he got on the taxi neatly and shouted at the driver, "get out of the way and go to the fish head king!" " "

As a result, the driver showed him around and sent him back. When he came to us again, he couldn't recognize who was who. It turned out to be a kind of pain. Excuse me!

1 1: dumbfounding.

I met a girl the winter before last. Good temperament. We are together almost every day. In the evening, either go to a bar or go to a disco. One night, we came home drunk. She started making trouble when she got home. Cry, cry badly. She was crying alone in the bathroom. I kicked the door open and pulled her out, and she got into the closet and continued to cry.

I finally put her to bed and she hugged me and cried. That's not all. When I saw the cell phone at hand, bang. Hit the wall hard. I just watched the beautiful folding mobile phone split in half.

Next day, she woke up. Holding my head and looking at the broken mobile phone on the ground, I ran downstairs and moved a brick. I looked at her strangely. I saw the lady pick up a brick and hit it at the mobile phone. After the shell was broken, she took out the parts inside, smiled at me and said, "Hehe, these parts are worth 300 yuan. Sell them and chip in to buy a mobile phone! "

12: What a pity.

Once, a related unit invited our colleagues to drink, and the place where we treated them was a very high-end restaurant, Abalone Bird's Nest, which ordered a lot. During the dinner, everyone raised their glasses frequently, and there was a scuffle. I don't know how many bottles of red wine I drank. I only remember that when I left, one of my colleagues vomited downstairs in the hotel, feeling sad while vomiting.

13: Nanjing to Zhenjiang

I know a big brother from Nanjing who likes drinking very much. At that time, he came and went on a little Mulan motorcycle. One night, he was drunk, but he still rode his motorcycle home. At that time, he couldn't see the road clearly, only knowing that he was walking on the 3 12 national road in a daze. I don't remember how long I rode it. When he was a little more sober, he suddenly looked up and saw a signboard in front of him turned out to be "Zhenjiang Hotel".

He rode a little Mulan motorcycle from Nanjing to Zhenjiang!

What's more, he rode Mulan from Zhenjiang to Nanjing.

14: Love is endless

A man with very elegant manners drank too much and went to a small tree for convenience. After that, he pulled away and wanted to go, but he felt that someone had caught him. He turned and refused. "No, no, it's too late. I should go back. Goodbye, sister. "

But I can't walk away. When his people saw that he was impatient, they also came to persuade him, "Miss, let go. We will come back later. There are plenty of opportunities."

After more than an hour of rejection, they found that he had tied his belt to the man and the tree and forged a good friendship with the tree. ...

15: Error.

My brother's company gave out year-end awards, and he went to the restaurant to celebrate with several colleagues who had good relations. After a full meal, my brother came out to drive the bike with the car key, but he couldn't open it. My brother thought, maybe he was drunk and his hands were shaking. Anyway, I made a lot of money today, so I might as well take a taxi home. So he put his bike in the trunk of a taxi and took it home. After waking up the next day, my brother came downstairs to have a look. It's broken! He had to take a taxi to pull his bike back.

It turned out that it was his colleague Xiao Li's bike that he took home at night!

16: home.

One of my neighbors likes drinking and often gets drunk. Once, he got drunk and got into a taxi. The driver drove slowly, waiting for him to say where he was going. But after waiting for a long time, nothing happened. Looking back, he was taking off his clothes. The driver was startled and quickly asked, "Sir, what are you doing!" " "He said," when I get home, I'm going to take off my clothes and sleep! "The driver told him quickly," This is my car, not your home. "He thought for a moment and shouted," Hurry up and go back to where I got on the bus! " "The driver asked why, and he said," I just thought I was home and left my shoes at the door! " "

17: fortune telling

Once, a friend of mine from other places went to Qingdao on business, and his friend went to a hotel for a party. As a result, he drank a little too much. After arriving at the hotel, he refused to take out his room key, so we had to go to the hotel front desk to find another way.

When we returned to the door of the room with the waiter, I saw him putting the money, credit cards, business cards and other things in his wallet neatly on the floor. When he saw us, he said excitedly and happily, "Come, I'll give you a divination!" " "

18: Give my car back.

As soon as I became a brother, I liked to drink and drive. Once, when I came home, I met the police to check the car. Just as he secretly asked Luck to get off the bus for inspection, the police answered a phone call, holding a mobile phone, bossing around and chatting endlessly. As soon as he saw the opportunity, he quietly returned to the car and drove home in a hurry while the policeman who called was unprepared.

The next day, someone knocked at his door. It was the police yesterday. Now that he's sober, he naturally asks the policeman confidently, "What are you doing here? What can I do for you? "

The policeman said, "I helped you drive to the door." Now, please give me back your police car. "

Rigorous thinking

One day, the teacher asked a question in class to examine a student's IQ: "There are ten birds in the tree. Shoot one, how many are left? "

The student asked, "Is it silent pistol?"

"No."

"How big is the gunshot?"

"80- 100 dB"

"That means it hurts your ears?"

"Yes!"

"Is it illegal to shoot birds in this city?"

"No offense."

"Are you sure that bird was really killed?"

"ok." The teacher is impatient. "Please tell me how much is left, ok? ! "

"all right! Are the birds in the tree deaf? "

"No."

"What's wrong with being in a cage?"

"No."

"Are there any other trees nearby? Are there any other birds in the tree? "

"No."

"Are there any disabled or hungry flightless birds?"

"No."

"Is it a bird in an egg?"

"Not counting!"

"Birds have flowers in their eyes? Are you sure it's ten? "

"There are no flowers, there are ten." The teacher was sweating all over and the bell rang. But the students are still asking: "Is there anyone stupid enough not to be afraid of death?"

"Everyone is afraid of death."

"Will you kill two with one shot?"

"No."

"Are all birds free to move?"

"Absolutely."

"If you didn't lie just now," the student said confidently, "if the bird that was killed hung on the tree and didn't fall off, then there was only one left; If it falls, there will be none left. "

The teacher fainted on the spot. ......

Good, bad, dizzy

Good: Travel to Australia with my boss.

Bad: The hotel made a mistake. You have to share a room with the boss.

Dizzy: When eating in the restaurant, the boss said you were so handsome.

Good: Your wife won't argue with you.

Bad: She intends to solve all problems through divorce.

Dizzy: She is a lawyer.

Good: Your son has grown up.

Bad: He has a crush on his neighbor's mistress.

Dizzy: You too.

Good: Your daughter is in love with the owner of the beauty salon.

Bad: Rumor has it that the man is gay.

Dizzy: Your wife assured me that he was not.

Good: A beautiful woman came up to me with a charming smile on the train, as if to talk to me.

Bad: I'm nervous, my face is red and my heart is beating.

Dizzy: The beauty said, "Boy, are you sitting in the wrong seat?" ? ! "

Good: My wife gave birth to a big fat son! -

Bad: The fortune teller said that his son looks like his father ~-~

Dizzy: As a result, the uncle next door died ~ ~ @ _ @

Good: In the morning, I proposed to my girlfriend who has been in private for two years, and she agreed.

Bad: when I go home at noon to tell my parents the news, my mother must take me on a blind date in the afternoon and say that the woman agreed;

Dizzy: The woman who came this afternoon turned out to be my girlfriend.

Ok: I found a hundred dollars! Not good: friends are around! Dizzy: Said it was his money.

Analysis of the answer to a multiple-choice question of showing love

Analysis of the answer to a multiple-choice question of showing love

This is a very simple multiple choice question:

You know a beautiful girl. What means did you use to win her heart the fastest?

After choosing the answer, fill in the brackets. ()

A civilization

Semicivilization

C uncivilized

D. violence

civilization

You choose civilization, which shows that you are very kind and caring, and you will definitely capture her with a very romantic and gentle hand. All right! You found out through some channels that she can't swim, so you chose to travel with her by boat.

Ideal:

As soon as she slipped and fell into the water, you rescued her with your unskilled dog plane. She was in a coma because she choked a few mouthfuls of water. Everything is planned. You can wake her up in any way you can think of, and then she will naturally be grateful to you. Here, I strongly recommend artificial respiration

Reality:

When you fell into the water and tried to swim back to the boat with your unskilled dog plane, your feet suddenly cramped. Well, what do you usually say about you? Supplement more calcium to keep the balance of trace elements in the body. This is stupid! Your consciousness begins to blur, and you can vaguely hear her calling for help in your ear. ......

A few minutes later, you open your eyes with difficulty, but you are surprised to find her beside you. She changed, her face became fat, her skin became black and rough, and she even grew a beard. I forgive your unconsciousness and keep your eyes open. Yours is on the other side!

"Fortunately, I gave him artificial respiration in time, and now he finally wakes up. It's okay." He smiled at her, then turned to smile at you and grinned. You found that his teeth were yellow and there was a emerald leek on one of them.

"He threw up again! Hey, didn't you spit out the water early? How can you throw up? Ah! I passed out again! "

I know this has cast a shadow on your mind. Your first time was ruined. I heard that you changed your habits after you went back. You brush your teeth in the morning and evening, more often than you eat, and you used four toothbrushes at a time on the first day you came back!

Semicivilization

You already have some kind of disability in your heart, and you have suffered some injuries that may be considered great. This damage coefficient can refer to the real version of A, but your heart is still kind. You decided to ask her out at night and then take her home. On the road, use words such as "Watch out for cars! Words and actions like this took her into her arms.

Ideal:

The car is slowly approaching you two, and you have your right hand ready. When the car comes, you hold her in your arms with your right hand and gently say to her, "Be careful with the car!" " Her eyes are clear and her blushing face is buried in her heart. "You are good or bad, rogue!" . Hehe, shut up and don't be too happy!

Reality:

The car is slowly approaching you two. You have your right hand ready. Here comes the bus. You put your right hand behind her and wait for the opportunity ... a bright light shines from behind you. She turned her head and looked at your hovering right hand. She didn't speak, but her eyes showed it. What do you want? Are you stupid? You only look at the front, not the back. what do you think? Explain it quickly.

"I don't want to do it!" Don't tremble when you speak, so that others may think that you have a guilty conscience.

"What do you want? You think I don't know? Rogue, leave me alone! "

"I really didn't! Let me explain! "

"I don't want to see you again. Go away, or I'll call the police."

Alas, at this time, what are you still doing? Stop being stupefied. Although you are more wronged than Dou E, she is still angry. Please explain it to her another day. Ah, why is it snowing? Why does it snow on such a hot day? So strange, really strange!

C uncivilized

You are tired of pretending, your heart is traumatized, and your Libra begins to tilt from angel to devil, but you still have some conscience. You are in a very dangerous situation. As far as I know, the best way at this time is to accompany her to drink and get her drunk, but you must not just accompany you to drink, which is easy to make people suspicious. So you invited some good friends. In order to make her stress-free, you even connected yours. "

Ideal:

On the wine table, you talk about everything, and you use your words to break slowly in the gap between you and her. Well, as you wish, she finally got drunk, but you sent her home on the pretext of sending her home, and then ... (see JPM's YPT and Other Wonderful Books for details).

Reality:

On the wine table, you talk about everything, and you slowly break into the gap between you and her with your words. You finally found out that she is good at drinking and persuading. You are hopeless. I know you are depressed, and I know how you feel at this time. You've been chewing Hua Feng for three weeks for this move, but you can't bring disgrace to oneself and get drunk, just in case. .......

Hey, where is this? You find yourself lying in a bed in a strange room. Next to you, a girl is sleeping You slowly pull yourself together and settle down.

Dude, are you okay? Don't stand still. Isn't that what you've always wanted?

There is a tear in the corner of your eye, which shows that men will not fall down easily. His voice choked and trembled. Manette is a ghost! You want to faint. Following your sad eyes, I saw an earth-shattering, earth-shattering, extraordinary face, which really made people afraid to look at it.

Well, I told you to drink less. Have you forgotten the promiscuity after drinking? Cry, man. Crying is not a crime!

D. violence

Your eyes are red and bloodshot. You are willing to give up everything to get her. You have no conscience in your heart. Go, Hamlet, let her succumb to your violence and make her your slave forever. (Alas, non-human)

Ideal:

You rush into her single dormitory alone, and all kinds of scenes of pornographic and violent movies that you often watch come to mind. She looked surprised, scared and struggling, but it was totally useless. She kept begging and finally gave in. Shit, scum, beast! )

Reality:

You rushed into her single dormitory alone, and she looked surprised and scared.

"What do you want?"

"Marry me!" You got down on one knee with a bunch of red roses in your hand.

"Are you all right?" She said.

"Marry me!" You begged again and rushed to hold her leg. She kept struggling, but to no avail. You kept begging, but in the end she wouldn't give in. You have lost a man's minimum qualification, which hurts! )

Switch scenes:

You are standing on the top of a towering fifteen-story building, and she is standing five meters away from you.

"Don't come, don't try to stop me, I don't want to turn back!" I really admire your courage. I can't help it if you speak so well.

"No, will you listen to me?" She is very gentle.

"Go ahead!" Your tone is firm, but I feel that you are anxious.

"Don't jump, really don't jump, the building here is too low!" She is still gentle.

……

Someone's quotation ~ ~ ~ ~ ~! Classic!

-

Let me exercise unless the remote control is made into a dumbbell.

Whenever I encounter difficulties, I will take out my wallet and look at my wife's photo, and then say to myself: What is there to be afraid of? Don't lose heart. Is there anything more difficult than her?

Computers can really save time and improve work efficiency. For example, playing flop games does not require shuffling.

Don't wash it, but for the mud, this broken car would have fallen apart a long time ago.

After eating, we discussed the problem of hunger. It is suggested that chastity be discussed at the next party. I can't wait.

I explained the exchange rate to my son on a whim, and now he only accepts gold as lucky money.

Please breathe bravely. Let's use our lungs to purify the polluted air.

You said this is a problem that even a three-year-old child can understand. Ok, let me ask you something. Now we are in an emergency meeting, and everyone is at a loss. Who has time and mind to find a three-year-old child! ?

Some people don't even know their neighbors, but they are extremely concerned about whether there are aliens in the world.

◆ When making paper documents, each document shall not exceed ten pages; If it cannot be compressed to less than ten pages, each book can be bound into one volume, two volumes, three volumes and so on. Please strictly observe it. If there is a document that the general manager can't tear off next time, the responsibility of the department manager will be severely investigated. ...

I used to suffer from schizophrenia, but now I have recovered.

I only fly first class unless they kick me out.

The monotonous and busy life day after day sometimes makes people forget their existence. At this time, you can easily find yourself by hitting a hammer on your thumb. ...

Comrade policeman, what will you do if I drive too fast?

Sometimes I ignore you, sometimes I please you, and sometimes I bother you on purpose. This is my colorful life.

Cao Caofei-hilarious

It is said that once Zhuge Liang, Liu Bei, Sun Quan and Cao Cao were flying together, and they suddenly encountered an emergency and needed to parachute to escape. Only then did I find that there were only three parachute bags left on the plane. Everyone is nervous. At this time, Zhuge Liang shook his feather fan, cleared his throat and said, "Well, the mountain man will jump if he answers a few questions, or jump himself if he can't answer them." Others have no choice but to agree.

Zhuge Liang shook the feather fan again and asked Liu Bei, "How many suns are there in the sky?" Liu Bei thought it was very simple. He answered "one" and took an umbrella bag. Zhuge Liang asked Sun Quan again, "How many moons are there in the sky?" Sun Quan replied, "One" and went down with an umbrella bag. Finally, it was Cao Cao's turn. Zhuge Liang asked, "How many stars are there in the sky?" Cao Zheng was puzzled and had to jump by himself. Unexpectedly, he jumped into the sea to save his life. Cao Cao secretly rejoiced.

The second time, when four people met an emergency by plane, they still discussed it in the old way. Zhuge Liang shook the feather fan again and asked Liu Bei, "Which battle did Zhou Wuwang defeat the crepe king?" Liu Bei thought it was simple, and Zhuge Liang nodded in response to the "Makino War", so Liu Bei took an umbrella bag and went down. Zhuge Liang asked Sun Quan again, "How many people died in that battle?" Sun Quan thought for a moment and said, "About 30,000 to 40,000." Zhuge nodded, and Sun Quan took an umbrella bag and went down. Cao Cao couldn't help laughing and thinking, "Zhuge Liang, I used to be an expert, especially in the military, but this time you fell." Zhuge Liang asked, "What are their names?" Cao Cao almost fainted and had to jump down by himself. No. Cao Cao smiled to himself, "md, Lao tze deadly. What can you do with Zhuge? ! "

The third time, the same four people flew, and the plane encountered an emergency. Cao Cao thought about it, and Zhuge tried to fool me again, so I jumped myself to avoid being insulted. So I jumped into the air at high speed. I heard Zhuge Liang's laughter from above. "Cao Cao, you are so smart. Haha, there are four parachutes on the plane today!" "

Cao Cao fainted with a "ah-"

A letter to his wife (hilarious)

Dear wife:

According to your wishes, I reflected in the study for one hour, forty-three minutes and seven seconds, drank a cup of boiled water, went to the toilet once and didn't smoke. The above facts are accurate, please check. Attach my review report, and the improper part can be negotiated.

After three months of married life, I think my wife is gentle, virtuous, diligent and intelligent, and she is a rare good wife. As a husband, I am eccentric and frivolous, and what I have done is really debatable. The following is my analysis of my bad behavior, please have a look at the leaders:

1. I was wrong about yesterday. Although the braised eggplant you made is a little salty, it is mellow and delicious, and its flaws are not hidden. I shouldn't accuse you of wasting salt. I'm so demanding and accusing, I'm totally jealous. But adding some water is ok.

When you said you liked Lu Yi, I shouldn't have said I liked Liang Yongqi, which caused you to ignore me for two days, which was extremely painful. Think about it carefully, my answer is really inappropriate, because your playboy is still confined to the mainland, but I rushed to Hong Kong and Taiwan. I prefer Zhou Xun.

You like watching Little Ge Zheng in Korean dramas, so I shouldn't try my best to stop it. When you compare me with him, I shouldn't protest, because Ge Zheng Jr. didn't protest.

4. Saturday's wedding, I said I have a meeting, and I don't know if I can go. You have prepared two red envelopes, one is 100 and the other is 200. As a result, I didn't go, and you accidentally sent a thick one. Honey, I shouldn't laugh at you. You are doing very well. If I were you, I might send them both together.

Last time you bought yellow croaker, I shouldn't pretend to be a chef. As a result, you cheered when you helped to cook, drooled when you smelled it, and depressed when you ate it, which was unbearable for your fragile mind.

6. Do you cut your hair short and ask me if it looks good? I said it looked good and you were happy. Further verification, I said OK; If you say hello, my answer is not as good as before, which makes you sad. This is my fault. In the future, such replies will be subject to the first time.

7. You met many excellent friends online. At one time, Hongyan passed books and jade photos flew all over the sky. I shouldn't have attacked you with newspaper reports. But the picture of you in a white skirt really doesn't look good. You'd better wear the one with the high collar. I'm the bodyguard next to you, and I look awesome.

When you visit your nephew, come back and discuss with me who should wash diapers. I really shouldn't pass the buck and make you angry. But honey, this task is too far away. Let's discuss who will be responsible for fertility. Who was born in their family?

9. When you accused me of leaving my socks lying around, I shouldn't accuse you of leaving books lying around. After all, socks stink and are scholarly.

10. When you invited Cher to McDonald's, I shouldn't secretly kick her under the table to make you furious, but she stepped on so many shoes, why didn't you care?

1 1. When you say that I am not as beautiful as you, I shouldn't stubbornly deny it. You're absolutely right. The evidence is conclusive, and the blind can testify.

12. I came back from taking out the garbage downstairs. You walked around me several times and asked me how many cigarettes I smoked. You were angry when I said one. Honey, I didn't know your nose was so sensitive. Actually, I smoked two.

You have always been an understanding girl. I hope you can forgive me and give me a chance to turn over a new leaf. For the sake of family stability and economic prosperity, by the way, a few small suggestions:

1. Don't point to the handsome guy on TV and say that he looks like your ex-boyfriend. The first time you approached a man at close range was at the sophomore dance, and you stepped on someone's foot in a panic. Unfortunately, it was me.

When shopping, don't always have whimsy, such as buying a shredder to make garlic paste. Don't you think my machine is more economical?

When eating, you always think I eat less, but when taking pictures, you think I am fat. Honey, this is really embarrassing for me.

Don't give me some tricky questions, saying it's a brain teaser and confusing my logic.

Don't tell me jokes or laugh when I watch a gunfight movie.

Please ask your wife about the above. Friendly reminder: There were spiders in the dormitory yesterday. If you need an escort, please contact the combined sofa in the west leisure area of the living room 1 to serve you wholeheartedly.

Love your husband.

How MM tortures traffic police

He stopped her "POLO" at the intersection, saluted and asked her to show her driver's license.

"Why is this?" She asked frankly in surprise.

"You violated the traffic regulations."

"Who told you that?"

"I saw it myself. Show me your papers, I'm waiting. "

"Do you think I don't have a driver's license?"

"I don't think so."

"But how can I give my certificate to a complete stranger?"

"I am a traffic policeman, and I have the right to do so."

"But how do I know you are a traffic policeman?"

"Didn't you see the uniform I was wearing?"

"Uniforms can explain? Uniforms can be forged. I remember 10 years ago, my friend Zhang Na met a soldier ... "

"Please don't tell me a story, I'm waiting for your proof."

"This is not a story, this is the past. I just want to prove that uniforms are not always credible. "

"Well, I can show you my work permit."

"This ... well, let me see. Well, so your name is Li Weijin? "

"Li Weiquan."

"What? Look, it's all written like gold. Forget it, just think of you as Li Weijin, but the photo is not like you? "

"I don't know, maybe I didn't wear a hat. Emphasize it. My name is Li Weiquan. "

"Really? Take off your hat and let me have a look. Also, stand up straight and don't frown. Yes, a little. Have you been taking pictures for a long time? "

"Seven years ago ..."

"It can be seen that. You looked very handsome then. "

"Well, please give me my certificate back."

"What's your hurry? Nothing will happen as long as the document is not forged. "

"But I won't be free. I am on duty. "

"Do you think I have a lot of free time? I'm going to the market soon, and I have to go to the seamstress, visit my sick aunt and call my husband ... "

"I beg you, give me my certificate back quickly! Look at how many cars are blocked behind you. "

"How can you blame me? You know, I didn't stop you, you stopped me. "

"Okay, okay, I was wrong. I only ask you to give me your certificate and drive away. "

"It is! Here's your file. Don't create traffic jams in the future. "