The story of Song Wu killing a tiger.

It is said that Song Wu had a proper job before his debut. It's a pity that he is lazy all day and is extremely keen on playing tricks. As a result, people complained everywhere and wrote letters to the chairman's office.

Finally, one day, the boss looked at him affectionately and said, "You Ge, I hesitated for a long time to tell you something, but I still can't help telling you-you are fired!" "Ah zha! ! "Song Wu suddenly felt heartbroken, a bolt from the blue, covered with dark clouds, and the road to" money "was bleak.

So, heartbroken, he rode his beloved "liberation" bike and left this sad place that once filled him with infinite ambitions. Recalling the day when I licked my boss's leather shoes to apply for a job, it seems like yesterday. Thought of here, Song Wu's eyes were moist, and the sweat oozing from his forehead blurred his sight. "Go, go, find a home for your heart ..." Song Wu accelerated the frequency of pedaling.

Finally, Song Wu came to Jingyanggang panting. Song Wu scolded: "Why is this broken car so difficult to ride?" Looking down, it turned out that two tires burst, and then dozens of screws fell off. Before Song Wu could react, the whole car disintegrated. Finally, the two wheels rolled down the hill and fell into the river, and the handlebar was tightly held in Song Wu's hand. "Why? Is it wrong to be handsome? " Song Wu screams shouted. Suddenly, he saw a dollar on the ground out of the corner of his eye! Song Wu's eyes suddenly lit up, and he took off at the speed of 100 meters sprint, then stepped on the money and squatted down to "tie his shoelaces". I picked up the bill and looked at it. "Wow, 50 yuan, gone. You can buy some twin CDs! " "But good luck is usually the beginning of bad luck. A police uncle comes out of nowhere and says," Did you just find 100 yuan? Song Wu is an honest man, and he has to admit: "I did buy it, but only 50 yuan. "Who knows, the police uncle took out his gun without saying anything:" If you fight again, be careful that my pistol will go off! ""Poor Song Wu succumbed to the arrogance of the police uncle and had to give him one hundred dollars. "Son of a bitch, be careful not to let me meet you in the pedestrian street next time." Song Wu was numb in his heart.

It's noon now, and Song Wu has been hungry for a long time. He thought, money is a thing apart from the body, so give it to beggars. The most important thing now is to fill his stomach. So he craned his neck to look around and finally let him find a KFC not far away. Song Wu rushed in at a dream speed of 100 meters and three seconds, picked a table and sat down, then shouted, "Xiao Er, pour me some daughter red!" " The people in the shop leaned over and said, "Sorry, sir, we only have two liters of coke, but there is no daughter red." Song Wu said, "for a change, just a few bottles of coke and cut me some pieces of beef to go with the wine." The man said, "We only have steak in our restaurant, but there is no …" Song Wu was impatient for a long time and said, "This restaurant is really bad, and there is nothing. Just give me something cow. Just as Song Wu was wolfing down his food, the talkative bartender "stuck" to him and said, "My guest, I think your Tang Yin is black. Have you had bad luck recently? I know a thing or two. Why don't you let me take a look for you? " Song Wu said, "I don't mind if you like. It doesn't hurt to have a look. The bartender looked at Song Wu with a magnifying glass for about two minutes, and then said, "I looked left and right, thought and thought, guessed and guessed, and thought it was really not easy. My guest, you have a Taliban, a Nibal, a sharp-mouthed, black-mouthed Portugal, and Afghanistan on your face. Your appearance is really one in a million, which can only be described in one word-failure! " Song Wu was furious after hearing this, but now he is so "praised" that he has to overhaul the bartender. When he left, he didn't forget to take a few bottles of coke.

Along the way, the beautiful scenery of Jingyanggang attracted Song Wu: man-eating flowers fluttered in the wind, Godzilla sprayed fierce inflammation, and hippos roared in the trees ... "What an exciting painting! Everywhere is full of peace and quiet. " Song Wu sincerely praised. Suddenly, Song Wu found a poster on the telephone pole in front of him. "It's not twins who are going to have a concert, is it?" Song Wu said to himself. Walking forward, I saw a notice from the court, which read: Recently, a tiger in Jingyanggang Zoo escaped from its cage and has not returned yet. Anyone who knows its whereabouts may have fallen into the jaws of death. I hope that passengers in Jingyanggang will go to the "no return" company to buy insurance as soon as possible and get ready in advance ... "Good guy! I miss Song Wu, who is tall, powerful and handsome. I'm afraid he is a little tiger? ! "After being generous, he didn't forget to spit out to show his courage. Unexpectedly, the police uncle came out of nowhere and said, "spitting will give you a ticket!" " Song Wu bargained: "Can you give me a discount?" "The police uncle said," Do you want me to draw a gun before you are honest? " Everyone guessed that the incompetent Song Wu gave in again. But suddenly, the real protagonist, the tiger, fell from the sky with a parachute on his back. The police uncle went into shock on the spot. Song Wu reacted very quickly and began to run to the mountain. The tiger didn't know what he liked, so he began to chase him. After running for so long, Song Wu kept a distance from the tiger. To tell the truth, it's a pity not to take part in the marathon! No wonder, I heard that he was the champion of the baby crawling competition when he was a child! )

On the edge of the cliff, Song Wu suddenly stopped. Look down, it doesn't matter if he doesn't look. At first glance, even the hairstyle changed: "My God, how is it higher than the World Trade Center?" Seeing the tiger killed, jumping off a cliff must be a dead end. Song Wu didn't have the guts. I saw Song Wu posing, and I didn't know where to drag a water pipe. In the afterglow of the sunset, the iron trioxide on it is particularly eye-catching. Song Wu suddenly shouted, "Look behind." Tiger pig brain turned away, Song Wu rushed forward, neither deep nor shallow is a tube. All I heard was a bang, and the water pipe broke in half. The tiger turned around, his eyes shining with flames. Song Wu was so scared that he dropped his contact lens and said, "Boss, this is just a joke. Why are you so serious? " How about I pay for your medical expenses? Seeing that the tiger didn't respond, Song Wu added, "Look back again. "This time, the tiger not only ignored people, but pounced on him. Seeing this, Song Wu quickly threw away the hose in his hand and ran around the cactus with the tiger. I don't know how many laps I ran, but Song Wu had a brainwave and rolled under a big MAC burger. The tiger "spun" several times before it found Song Wu who was catching dragonflies. It immediately adjusted its course, started at full speed, and ran desperately towards Song Wu. Of course, Song Wu dare not neglect, thinking: "-# * $%. When the tiger ran ahead, Song Wu made a wonderful feint to avoid it. The tiger couldn't stop and plunged into the tree, leaving only four legs and tail hanging in the air. Song Wu also had a hard time. His eyes were cut by a branch, so he sat on the ground and began to cry. After about a McDonald's kung fu, Song Wu's eyes were swollen with crying. He knew that crying could not solve the problem, so he tried his best to kill the tiger. Put socks into the tiger's nose, then bite the tiger's tail, then take off his Nike shoes and fight hard. Finally, use the most vicious trick: bite the tiger's foot with green bristlegrass. The poor tiger was dizzy with laughter, but Song Wu refused to give up. He pulled the tiger down from the tree and stuffed socks into the tiger's nose, so the tiger was killed by Song Wu. At this time, the annoying police uncle fell from the tree and pulled out his gun: "Wu, you actually killed such a lovely national first-class protected animal." If you are smart, raise your hand and surrender to avoid unnecessary physical injury. "Now you can stop talking, but ..." "But what you said will be used as evidence in court, won't it? Thanks to your old-fashioned dialogue, even a child who sucks a pacifier can recite it! " Wu Songgang said that a large group of reporters swarmed out from crevices, garbage bins, rat holes and sewers and asked questions around Song Wu. Song Wu pretended, "I won't answer any questions until my lawyer comes." Everyone was in an uproar and attacked: "This boy is unappreciative, hit him!" Suddenly, ShaSheng everywhere in the valley, brotherhood of the Wolf, shaking, blood burning thousands of miles. ...

In this way, Song Wu killed the tiger, but was beaten half to death by the reporter. It is said that he later insulted the judge in court and was sentenced to life imprisonment. The next day, Shi Naian, who was eating instant noodles, saw it on TV and suddenly had a whim and inspiration. So he made up an anecdote about Song Wu and put it in a small corner of the Water Margin. From then on, there was the heroic deed of "Song Wu killed the tiger"

Song Wu went home to visit his brother and passed Jingyanggang on his way. I drank a lot in Gangxia Hotel and staggered to Shang Gang. There was not much excitement, but a tree said, "Recently, there was a big bug in Jingyanggang, but it was in Ke Gang. You should unite to cross the gang. Please don't make mistakes. " Song Wu thought it was a scary letter from a restaurant. In order to let passers-by live in his shop, he ignored it and moved on. When the sun was about to set, Song Wu came to a ruined temple and saw the government notice posted at the gate. After Song Wu finished reading, he knew there was a tiger on the mountain. He had to go back to the hotel, and he was afraid of jokes from the store, so he continued. Because of the attack of alcoholism, he found a big bluestone and lay down on his back. He was just about to fall asleep when he heard a gust of wind whistling by. A colorful tiger came at Song Wu, who quickly dodged and hid behind the tiger. When the tiger jumped, Song Wu hid again. When the tiger is in a hurry, it shouts at Song Wu with its tail. Song Wu quickly jumped away again. When the tiger turned around, he raised his whistle stick and slammed it on the tiger's head with all his strength. With a click, the whistle stick hit the branch. The tiger is a wild animal, and it came at Song Wu. Song Wu threw away half a stick and rode on the tiger's back. He grabbed the skin on the tiger's head with his left hand and slammed it with his right hand. It didn't take long to beat the tiger's eyes, mouth, nose and ears with blood everywhere, and he couldn't move on the ground. Song Wu was worried that the tiger would play dead, so he raised half his whistle stick and played for a while. He stopped when he saw that the tiger was really out of breath. Since then, Song Wu has gained great fame.