Traditional Culture Encyclopedia - Hotel accommodation - When it came time to go through exams and test-tube tests, I chose to fight with myself.

When it came time to go through exams and test-tube tests, I chose to fight with myself.

We will always face various difficulties in this life, requiring us to make difficult choices, just like the protagonist in today’s story: when important qualification examinations and IVF cycles collide, whether it is career prospects She didn't want to give up whether it was to give birth to offspring, so she could only grit her teeth and move forward, choosing a path that she would not regret.

1

2020 is a year full of twists and turns.

In the first half of the year, after the epidemic eased, my job gradually got better. I was working as a human resources manager in a company that felt good in all aspects. I have seriously thought that, barring natural or man-made disasters, I would retire here if nothing unexpected happens.

My life and work have become stable, and my mother-in-law’s calls for induction have become more frequent. My husband and I are feeling even more stressed - we had gone to the hospital for a checkup before, and the result was that there was water accumulation on one side of my fallopian tube. , my husband’s sperm quality is not very good, and the doctor said that our chance of getting pregnant naturally is relatively low.

After repeated discussions, we decided to do in vitro fertilization without telling my parents-in-law.

In late August, a series of preliminary tests for IVF were carried out in the city hospital: blood draws, urine tests, chest X-rays...

During hysteroscopy, The doctor discovered a large polyp on the inner wall of my uterus. Without anesthesia, Shengsheng used a scope to scrape off the polyp and sent it for pathological screening. When scraping the polyps, I was so painful that I wanted to cry. I thought that IVF was just the beginning, so I tried my best to hold back the tears.

Three days later, the polyp screening result came out, which was ordinary hyperplasia. Only then did I feel relieved.

Just when I was racking my brains to figure out how to arrange sick leave during IVF in order to minimize the impact on my work, on the afternoon of the end of the month, after I arranged the final exam for the financial position with my boss, After sending away the candidates, the boss called me into the office and said he wanted to talk to me alone. Unusually, he boiled water to make tea slowly and did not speak for a long time. I suddenly had an ominous premonition.

Sure enough, because the boss’s investment failed, the company will have no money to pay us wages next month, and it will not be able to pay the compensation.

Suppressing the shock, I went back to the office to collect information and make a list.

My husband called me suddenly. Before I could mention my unemployment, he hurriedly said in a trembling voice that the city hospital had just informed him that he had a chromosome problem and had a high genetic risk. In vitro fertilization.

2

It turns out that my husband was born with a balanced chromosome translocation. Although it has no impact on him personally, when passed on to his offspring, the number of chromosomes is prone to increase or decrease. The risk of fetal arrest, miscarriage or fetal malformation is as high as 80%.

If you do ordinary first- or second-generation IVF, this risk cannot be eliminated. The doctor suggested that we go directly to the third generation, because the third generation will first screen the chromosomes of the embryos, and only qualified embryos will be transplanted.

As for the third-generation test tube, the city hospital cannot do it, so we can only go to the provincial hospital 500 kilometers away...

After coming back from the city hospital for consultation, I was very anxious for several nights. Insomnia, I am worried not only about whether the next test tube journey will go smoothly, but also about my future career development——

Although in the past few years, I have worked in public institutions and large foreign companies. I have a good foundation, but in the past year, I have changed two companies, and my professional ability has not been improved very well.

If I start doing in vitro fertilization now, I will have to stop working for at least a year in the best case scenario. If the in vitro fertilization fails once, the delay will be even longer... In the future, when I want to return to the workplace, I can still find a more suitable one. Work?

In the winter four years ago, I passed the Human Resources Level 2 exam through self-study. This year, I have just enough working experience to pass the Level 1 exam.

In the past two or three years, because the pace of work was too fast and the pressure was too high, I haven’t recharged professionally for a long time. Although I had previously intended to apply for the Human Resources Level 1 exam and had purchased the textbooks in advance, the exam schedule had not yet been announced, and I rarely found time to read books after being busy with work, so I took my time and paid no attention to it.

Now, I just can’t work for the next period of time. If I seize the opportunity and successfully obtain this out-of-print national first-level qualification certificate, then I will add a shining point to my resume, which will be helpful for my future job hunting. That should help, right? To take a step back, even if I failed this exam, I also conducted systematic professional learning and improved my abilities during the preparation process, which is always more rewarding than not studying or taking the exam, right?

At that moment, when I looked at the exam registration notice on my phone, I felt like an ascetic in the endless desert seeing the sparkling water, feeling that I had power in my life and hope for the future.

3

After hurriedly preparing all the documents and documents, and handing them over to the teacher from the training institution who registered on my behalf, I quickly dug out the teaching materials that had been shelved in the corner for several days. I have read less than 10 pages of more than 600 pages, leaving less than two months of preparation time.

Although I don’t work anymore, I don’t have as much study time as I originally imagined——

In addition to frequent visits to the hospital for various tests, when I am at home, I have at least two tests every day. Hours are spent on housework - as a married person, I am basically responsible for the cleaning, grocery shopping and cooking at home, because my husband’s job is very hard when he leaves early and comes home late.

There are very few colleagues around me who have taken the Human Resources Examination level. In addition, the teachers at the training institution are busy with consulting projects and have no time to provide review materials for us candidates, so I decided to refer to the information on the Internet and sort it out myself. Regarding knowledge points, I also want to take advantage of the opportunity of organizing to enhance memory.

In order to avoid procrastination and running out of time at the end, I made a plan in advance——

The first 15 days: read the textbook carefully;

The second 15 days: Complete the arrangement of knowledge points in the six chapters and memorize all the knowledge points;

Days 31-37: Do all the free test questions on the APP and collect the questions Mark the wrong questions;

Days 38-44: Memorize the knowledge points twice and do the collection questions once;

Finally: Memorize the knowledge points again and do the wrong questions once .

In the study, the desktop where I study for the exam | Photo provided by the author

On days when I don’t go out, I set an alarm clock to urge myself to get up early, and drink a cup of coffee every day in order to improve my study efficiency. .

All relevant tests were done, and the indicators met the requirements. So, my husband took three days off, and we took the test reports, household registration books, and marriage certificates with us to the provincial hospital to prepare. Go to review the certificate and file the test tube.

When I was queuing up at the hospital to review my certificate, a teacher from the training institution suddenly sent me a message: The registration was unsuccessful because the working experience was still one month short.

There was a "buzzing" sound in my head, and I instantly lost the ability to think.

After finally regaining my composure, I was angry and aggrieved: If I were to refer to the exam times in previous years, my working life would definitely be enough, but this year’s exam time has been moved forward. This is arranged by the province. What can I do? It’s only a month away, why can’t we be accommodating?

I called the teacher while suppressing my tears. The teacher also felt that the review was extremely strict this time, and said that it had always been passed in cases like this before. She promised to make another trip the next day to give me a chance.

I hid in the hospital toilet and wiped my tears secretly: It is no longer easy to do in vitro fertilization. It is rare that I want to take an exam now. Why is it so difficult?

4

That night, I had many messy and noisy dreams. The next morning, I finished the B-ultrasound in the hospital and waited for the doctor to call my number. There were many people waiting for treatment in the hall, and the air was a bit dull.

At around 10 o'clock, the teacher sent a message: This time I signed up! I almost jumped up with joy, thinking in my mind: I had already set up a file yesterday, and if I start the IVF cycle today, the egg retrieval will be completed in about a month, and during the two months when I go home and wait for the embryo screening results, I can just be in the local area. After finishing the exam, I will come to the provincial hospital for a transplant without any delay...

Finally, I was called. The doctor looked at my B-ultrasound and said: "One of your follicles is growing too fast and is too big. It is not suitable for injection now and it cannot enter the cycle. I will go back to the local hospital to monitor ovulation. It will be 5-7 days after ovulation." God will come again and I will give you a fixed-length plan..."

It's a bit unexpected. In this case, the progress will be delayed by half a month. Forget it, there is no need to rush the test tube, just review it at home in the next ten days.

When I took the Level 2 self-study exam, the textbooks were relatively easy to understand. But at this level, the more I looked at it, the more stressed I became. The knowledge points were numerous and dense, and it took more time and energy to understand and memorize than preparing for level two.

Twice during this period, I also felt a little regretful: doing in vitro fertilization is already physically and mentally tiring, so why do I have to force myself to study for the exam at this time? Wouldn’t it be nice to rest in peace, eat, drink, have fun and go shopping? ! But then I thought about it, if I just want to relax and enjoy myself, will the gap between me and my peers in the workplace become wider and wider? Will the future career path be more difficult? A mediocre life is something that I have always despised and struggled to get rid of, isn't it?

Convincing myself, I immersed myself in the book again.

In the study plan, at the end of the second 15 days, the original study plan was not completed - I just sorted out all the knowledge points and would not have time to memorize them again in the future. I decided to adjust my pace and start working on the questions directly. In order to speed up the progress, I also set aside an hour and a half to study after dinner every day.

In fact, my family is not very supportive of my study and preparation for the exam. I was already thin, and now, they are more worried about my health.

When my husband saw that I started studying in the evening, he was worried that my body would be overwhelmed by the pressure, so he joked: "The first level exam is so difficult, and no one smarter than you will sign up. You want to prove that you have a good brain too." Is it time to use it? ”

My mother often calls me and repeatedly emphasizes: “You can learn as much as you want, don’t force yourself, your health is important!”

I know, they are all doing it for me. I'm fine. But I also want to work hard for myself again.

5

I returned to the provincial hospital at the time stipulated by the doctor. This time, I could finally enter the IVF cycle.

When communicating with the doctor about the specific arrangements for the down-regulation and ovulation induction stages, I explained that I have a very important exam in 3 weeks, and I hope she can arrange for me to stagger those two days and allow me to return to the local area. Come back after the exam.

The doctor looked at the calendar on the table and frowned: "If you start the cycle directly now, then according to the normal progress, the day of your exam will probably be the day of the egg retrieval surgery."

I felt that the temples on both sides of my head were bulging. I had something in my heart, but I couldn't say it out. My lips began to tremble uncontrollably.

The young assistant doctor next to me probably noticed my abnormality and comforted me: "It's not so absolute. The egg retrieval and your examination may be staggered because people's physical conditions are different. Similarly, some people's hormone levels increase rapidly after the injection, and they can undergo surgery after seven or eight days. Others respond slowly to the medicine, and it may take more than ten days to reach the target for surgery. But, according to our past. With the treatment experience, it is very likely that your exam time will coincide with the egg retrieval time..."

"Is there... no other way?" I don't give up.

"Let's do this," the doctor leaned back in his chair, "Since this exam is so important to you, you can go back and take the exam first, and we will arrange for you to enter the IVF cycle next month. Otherwise , now that you are in the cycle, you are still worried about the exam. Too much stress will also affect the quality of the follicles. In the end, if you do not do well in the exam, it will also affect the treatment, which is not worth the gain. After all, it costs a lot of money to enter the cycle. ”

"I... let me think about it..."

After leaving the outpatient clinic, I dialed my husband's phone number. "Is this exam more important than your body?" On the other end of the phone, the sound of him whirring at the construction site came, "Isn't this exam very difficult? Even if you take it, will you definitely pass it? ”

I wanted to call my mother again, but I knew without thinking that she would definitely, like my husband, let me focus on IVF and physical health.

Maybe my husband is right. Even if I enter the examination room, I may not be able to pass.

Sitting in front of the doctor again, my voice was still trembling: "Doctor, I've thought about it, let's just start the cycle without waiting."

"What about your exam? What to do?”

“If in the end, the exam really conflicts with the egg retrieval operation,” I tightened my thighs, “I will give up the exam...”

Finished. After coming out of the hospital after the down-regulation injection, I could no longer suppress my emotions and cried while walking on the street. The cold wind ruffled my hair, and I no longer cared about my image. Thinking about how hard I had been studying for so many days, I might not even have the chance to step into the examination room in the end. Thinking back on all the ups and downs I had experienced in the past year, my tears flowed more and more, soaking my mask.

6

Back at the hotel, I fell into a deep sleep. When I woke up, the textbooks and previously printed knowledge points were still lying messily on the corner of the bed.

Should I... give up the exam?

After thinking wildly for a long time, I slowly calmed down——

If this episode of life is destined to have a sad ending, I should persist in playing it until the curtain call, even if it ends in the end. I really didn’t have a chance to enter the examination room, but I persisted in the entire preparation process and tried my best, which was worthy of my heart. Maybe, God will be kind to me and stagger the time of surgery and exam?

After the down-regulation cycle ends, the promotion cycle begins. At this time, there are still 10 days until the exam.

In order to save time and reduce traveling, I stayed in a hotel near the provincial hospital.

Fearing that it would affect the efficacy of the medicine, I gave up the habit of having a cup of coffee every day since I took the down-regulatory injection.

The side effects of the injections gradually began to appear: every afternoon, I felt as if there was a little person in my head walking around wearing heavy wooden clogs. The dull sound gave me a splitting headache, and I wanted to lie down and take a nap. But I couldn't fall asleep despite tossing and turning.

In the confusion, I persisted in doing exercises and memorizing knowledge points. In those days, I really wished that time could pass faster, even faster - rush to the examination room, and be liberated after the examination; or if I can't enter the examination room at all, I don't have to rush to study knowledge points in a short period of time.

The ovulation-stimulating injection is injected into the buttocks. It hurts during the injection and even more after the injection. The needle holes on my butt gradually became more dense, and the pain was so painful that I had to turn half of my body sideways while sleeping.

After the injection during the day, I went back to the hotel to endorse and do the questions. When I was tired, I went to have a meal nearby and bought some fruit yogurt to bring back. At night, I had insomnia for a long time. I don’t know whether it was the side effects of the medicine, the pain of the needle that prevented my nerves from relaxing, or the lingering worry about the exam in my subconscious.

The learning progress is far behind the plan. After re-evaluating the actual efficiency, I compressed the workload: I gave up collecting questions and repeated the wrong questions twice; I memorized the knowledge points in depth according to the newly compiled outline, and marked the content I did not master during the memorization process; If you still have time, memorize the marked content again.

The number of days between follicle rechecks is getting shorter and shorter, and the exam date is getting closer.

I asked my husband to print out the admission ticket in advance and put it on my desk at home. Just in case I don’t need it, it’s just a souvenir. In the WeChat group, candidates were discussing enthusiastically, exchanging questions, or looking for the front and back desks in the examination room. And I have no intention of participating.

7

Early in the morning before the exam, I went to the hospital as usual to have blood drawn to measure indicators and B-ultrasound to measure follicles.

Today’s test results will determine whether I will continue to take injections for review the next day, or whether I will directly inject night injections to prepare for egg retrieval. It will also determine whether I still have a chance to go home and take the exam. During the three hours of waiting for the results of the doctor's order, time seemed to be frozen for a long time. The luck and hope that stubbornly remain in my heart are like the sand in an hourglass, flowing out bit by bit and decreasing bit by bit...

Maybe it’s God who has shown compassion, or maybe I’ve been feeling depressed over the past few days. My emotions hindered the effectiveness of the medicine. In short, the test results showed that I could not retrieve the eggs yet, so I had to continue the injections and re-examine the next day.

I can go home and take the exam! ! After receiving the injection and the new medical order, I walked out of the hospital and rushed back to the hotel to pack my luggage and catch the train home.

An empty and familiar station | Photo provided by the author

On the train, I started to contact the local hospital on the phone, because the injection to promote ovulation must not be interrupted or delayed. However, the answers given to me by several local hospitals were that they would not inject drugs prescribed by hospitals outside other places.

What to do? I contacted several private clinics near my home. The earliest the clinic opens is at seven o'clock. My exam started at 8:30, and it was in another city an hour and a half away from home. When driving, I would definitely pass through the congested road to work. After all, no matter where you take the injection in the morning, you will be late for the exam.

In desperation, I had no choice but to call the provincial hospital. After explaining my situation clearly, the doctor on the phone comforted me: "It doesn't matter. Occasionally, an injection will be a few hours late and it won't have any impact..."

My heart, which was originally knotted, finally relaxed. Come on, if that's the case, I can wait until the exam is finished the next afternoon and then go to the nearest clinic to get the injection.

Even so, the time on the exam day was still very tight for me: the exam ended at 3:30 pm, and the last local train to the provincial capital departed at 5:55. The examination room is an hour and a half drive from my home, and my home is a half hour drive from the train station. During this period, I have to go to the clinic, and there will be rush hours after get off work. But if you miss the train to the provincial capital, the reexamination the next morning will inevitably be delayed. It is possible that the dominant follicles that have grown will be excreted by themselves during this period, with disastrous consequences.

But it is basically impossible to win the race against time by myself.

8

At this moment, I remembered a good friend who moved not long ago and now lives in the neighborhood of the school where I am taking the test.

So, that night, I sent my suitcase back to the provincial capital to my friend's house, and then stayed in a small hotel near the test center. The test center is in a remote area, the facilities of the small hotel are simple, and there are a few men next door playing cards noisily until midnight. I was confused for about three or four hours, and finally made it to dawn.

Rushing to the examination room, I saw from a distance that the examination staff were busy checking certificates, taking body temperature, and guiding the direction of the examination room at the school gate...

The buns in the school restaurant were very delicious. It was fragrant. I only drank half a cup of soy milk because I was afraid that I would drink too much and need to go to the toilet in the middle of the exam. In the corridor outside the examination room, candidates were standing sparsely, some were reading, and some were discussing with each other.

Affected by the epidemic, the exam adopted a computer-based method of answering questions. As soon as the bell rang, the sound of typing on the keyboard immediately spread throughout the classroom. Occasionally, a candidate suddenly stood up and reported to the examiner that the computer screen was black, which added a bit of tension to the serious atmosphere in the classroom. My palms gradually became sweaty.

During the second test, I vaguely felt that the candidate sitting on my right was constantly glancing at my computer screen. If this goes back to when I was in school, in the examination room, I could not let others copy my answers no matter what I said! But now I can't care about that much. The amount of questions is very large, so the most important thing is to seize the time to complete the questions.

The morning exam ended quickly, and the candidates went to lunch noisily. I avoided the flow of people and stood alone in the corner of the stairs. I dug out the knowledge points I had compiled before and searched quickly - there were a few places on the test paper that I had a vague impression of. Although the text was filled with words in the end, I had to confirm them quickly.

I flipped through it quickly, and I had an idea in my mind: I should be able to answer multiple-choice questions; for case analysis and short answers, according to the rules of marking points, I can barely pass, right?

Paper test in the afternoon. I was a little panicked when I saw that the test paper was not the type of questions I was familiar with before. There were three questions to choose from. The candidates around me were already answering questions, but I was still hesitant about which question to choose. After repeated comparisons, I eliminated two unfamiliar topics, listed the frameworks on the computer, and then began to fill in the content in detail.

Maybe it was because I spent more time on topic selection and conception. I only finished writing the paper 10 minutes before closing the paper. I skimmed through the full text, corrected typos and formatting, and the system just rolled it up.

I hurriedly put away my paper and pen documents and followed the flow of people outside.

The surrounding candidates gathered together in twos and threes and discussed as they walked. A girl said loudly to her companion: "Oh my God, the exam is over, and I can finally go home and have a good sleep! This exam has been tortured to death for the past half month..." I couldn't help but smile.

At this moment, I feel more relaxed than I have ever felt before, not even when the college entrance examination ended that year. It’s not that I feel that I did well in the exam, I simply feel that I finally settled a worry.

9

No time to linger.

My friend also brought my suitcase and was waiting for me outside the examination room - because my husband was working overtime on the project and couldn't get away, my friend left her one-year-old second son to her mother-in-law to take care of, and she took care of it. Come and pick me up on my mission.

After leaving the examination room, I saw my friend's car in the distance. What surprised me was that not only she came, but also her husband and her eldest son who was in kindergarten.

It turned out that my friend was worried about serious traffic jams after get off work. She was not confident about her driving skills, so she asked her husband to be an errand driver.

As soon as we got in the car, her eldest son sweetly called me "Auntie" and gave me a handbag. Knowing that I had to catch the train, the little boy very thoughtfully prepared a bag of fruits and snacks for me. For a moment, my heart melted.

My friend’s family took me to a clinic to get an injection to promote ovulation, and then went to the station for a simple meal. They sent me to the waiting room before checking in.

The time connected just right, and we waved goodbye in the night.

After getting on the train, I sent a message to my mother and husband to say they were safe, and then I was free.

After running around for the past few days, I have been sleeping very sparsely at night. I thought that after all this work, I would sleep soundly on the train. However, at this moment, I am not sleepy at all. My mind was extremely clear, just like the moonless and starless night sky outside the car window, which was exceptionally calm.

It was already past 11pm when we arrived at the hotel. After briefly washing up and setting the alarm clock for getting up early, I was so sleepy that I dove into the quilt.

The next morning, the blood test and B-ultrasound were still done, and everything was up to standard. Immediately afterwards, I was arranged for a night injection, followed by an anesthetic injection and egg retrieval. The whole process went relatively smoothly.

After the night injection, I walked alone on the way back to the hotel from the hospital | Photo provided by the author

After egg retrieval, I could go home and rest for a while, and the embryo screening results would be I found out two months later.

10

Then, I began to worry about the test results.

If you do not pass all three subjects at once, you will have to prepare for a make-up exam one month later! I check online almost every day to see if my results have been released, and I often dream about exams and doing questions at night. In my dream, one moment my teacher would congratulate me and say I passed the exam, and the next moment my old colleagues would regret that I had to take a make-up exam...

Three weeks later, in mid-November, I had almost forgotten about this. At the time of the incident, one evening, the WeChat group exploded - there was a result.

I was on my way home at the time. I couldn’t wait to check it out on my computer when I got home, so I immediately clicked on the website on my mobile phone and entered my name and ID number. The moment the web page jumped, I hurriedly locked the screen of my phone. Take a few deep breaths and reopen the screen...

Theory: 83; Practical: 63; Comprehensive: 72.

The heartbeat seemed to have stopped. 63? I enlarged the page on my phone and stared at it for a long time. It was 63. A passing score of 60 was so dangerous!

Passed the exam in one go! This national first-level qualification certificate, which is about to become out-of-print, is available soon!

Since I lost my job and started doing in vitro fertilization, my mood has been very low. I often even collapse to the point where I hide alone and cry. I feel that life is too difficult. It seems that every step I take is very hard, and nothing happens for a long time. I have been living a happy life, and I don’t know when these bleak days will end.

Passing Level 1 this time makes me believe again: don’t be discouraged when doing something, as long as you invest enough time and energy, you will definitely gain something! The joy of passing the exam not only dispelled the long-standing gloom in my heart, but also rekindled my passion for facing life and the courage and confidence to overcome difficulties.

Perhaps, this is the meaning of persisting in doing something -

The process is very painful and it is difficult to hold on, but you still have to rely on yourself and hold on desperately without giving up. Finally, the moment you irrigate flowers from the dry soil, you will understand that everything is worth it. Then you will be motivated to do other things. And this tenacity is worth continuing to replicate in other matters.

Obtained the national first-level human resources management qualification certificate | Photo provided by the author

10

In mid-December, when the day prescribed by the doctor’s orders came, my husband and I Return to the provincial hospital together.

The result was that after chromosome screening of 6 frozen embryos, only 1 was qualified. At that moment, we were all disappointed - there was only one portable, which meant we had no options. My husband looked at the report card and didn't speak for a long time. I couldn't help but comfort him: "At least there is one who is qualified, right? It's better than none of them being qualified!" This sentence is also to comfort myself.

The doctor prescribed me oral medicine for a few days to adjust the endometrium to the ideal thickness. On the afternoon of December 30, I underwent a frozen embryo transfer at the provincial hospital.

January 11, 2021, is the day I took a blood test for pregnancy.

The first night, my husband tossed and turned for a long time and couldn't fall asleep. I understand what's on his mind.

Early the next morning, he accompanied me to the local hospital for a blood draw. After a long 3 hours of waiting, the HCG result came out, 1500! Far exceeded my expectations! I'm going to be a mother!

When my husband looked at the blood test results, his voice choked up: "I have been working hard for almost half a year, and finally... it was not in vain!"

At this moment, scenes of past experiences clearly emerged in my mind. In front of me: dozens of tubes of blood taken from my body, hundreds of pills taken, dozens of needles inserted into my flesh, dozens of train trips, and countless anxious and sleepless nights...

Fortunately, it was all worth it.

Pictures | The pictures in this article are all from the Internet

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