Mental growth comes first.

Dabin was my childhood neighbor and primary school classmate. When I was a child, I was introverted. In my opinion at that time, I was a little dull, did not like to talk, and even dared not talk to girls. When I graduated from primary school, I entered the key middle school with excellent results, while Dabin was only promoted to the middle school in the town because of his average exam results.

Not long after, our family moved to the city, and we haven't seen any distinguished guests since.

Later, I met the distinguished guests for the first time and celebrated my admission to the university at a thank-you banquet.

Teacher Xie invited teachers and high school classmates to the banquet, but because he hadn't seen VIP for many years and was a childhood playmate, he was invited. After receiving the invitation, the VIP was very happy and said that he would definitely attend the banquet.

On the day of the banquet, I stood at the gate of the hotel to greet the guests. The teacher came over and said all kinds of polite thanks. The classmate came, first wrangling, and then throwing him into the hotel.

Just when I was fighting with a classmate, I heard someone shouting my name. I was shocked at first. This voice has never been heard before. Who is calling me? Still so overbearing

Unconsciously, my shoulders were tightly grasped by two powerful hands. I quickly let go of my classmates and turned my head.

At this time, I was shocked again. Who is this handsome man with heroic hair, exquisite clothes, simple and rude, who seems to be a level more mature than himself at that time? Although I vaguely feel that the only special person today is the big guest, I still can't believe it is him because the image of this person is too different from my imagination. Yes, in my mind, the big guest should be a wooden and shy person.

"You don't know me, I am a distinguished guest!" "Do you mind if I bring my girlfriend?" He is full of gas, direct and aura.

It seems that I was stunned by his powerful aura. I still froze. I didn't recover. We were young at that time, and I thought a lot of opening remarks were all about teasing him. Now, I don't know how to say hello, but out of politeness, I quickly said "no, no, no ……", and my voice became smaller and smaller, and then I didn't know what to say. At this moment, the big guest turned to my right rear.

She is tall, well-dressed, gorgeous and graceful, just like a bright star in a small town.

My eyes are fixed on this charming woman.

"This is my girlfriend, Jessica Hester Hsuan", "This is Gao Fei, my primary school classmate, I told you", and he introduced us to each other.

"Congratulations, the future is bright," Xuan said politely.

As for me, I am still short-circuited. I only know that I will answer "thank you, thank you" politely, and I feel guilty.

There is still a one-track mind running at the last moment. Remember to tell them the room number.

"Room in 204, full of my classmates. You can go up and sit casually first. " At this time, I was already a little nervous.

"Well, come on up, let's have a good drink," he said, putting his arm around his girlfriend's waist, and then they walked harmoniously and flirted into the hotel.

It was not until they turned and walked away that I "admitted" that he was a big guest and dared not call his name once. I was shocked and dumbfounded. I feel like a child in front of him. He is so dignified and I am so timid.

After receiving the last batch of visitors in a trance, I walked into the hotel with trepidation and went upstairs.

I heard the loud voice of the guest before I reached the door of the room. As soon as the loud voice stopped, there were bursts of laughter in the room. It is true that the guests changed the atmosphere of the room.

The door was open, and I saw the distinguished guests across the street expressing their feelings affectionately. The students craned their necks and pricked up their ears, listening with rapture.

I wanted to find a place to sit quietly, and the keen guest immediately found out and turned the conversation to me. "Hey, here comes our protagonist. Let's applaud." He applauded first, and the students applauded after they reacted. Then, I drank everyone's first glass of wine.

After the ceremony, the wine table became a stage for distinguished guests. He told his magical experience over the years, and he was regarded as a legend under the stage. He shook out all kinds of jokes he had heard and handled them properly, and the audience kept laughing. I also learned from this that he went out to work before finishing high school.

And his girlfriend, the most magnificent flower on the wine table, also makes everyone salivate.

And I can see that all this, the big guest did not deliberately show, these are just his daily life.

After the banquet, my classmates were surprised at my great friend. As far as I know, Dabin used to be a timid and somewhat wooden person.

Obviously, I haven't seen him for several years, and his position has been reversed. I used to tease him and even despise him, but at the banquet, his ability to deal with the world has completely crushed me.

At that time, I was confused and distressed, but I couldn't find the reason.

A few days ago, a group of high school students got together in Shenzhen. During the dinner, a buddy who is still in graduate school talked about his recent love experience.

He said that there was a girl in the lab who had a crush on him and was interested in her, but on a walk after dinner the day before yesterday, the girl suddenly touched his hand. His first reaction was to ask the girl, "What are you doing?" When the girl heard this, her eyes turned red on the spot, and then she ran like crazy. This guy just thought she might have done something wrong and ran after her, but the girl ran very fast. Finally, he felt that the girl was too determined, and it might not be useful to chase her, so he stopped chasing her. The next day, the girl didn't even look at him ...

Then on the wine table, my buddy said, "When she touched me, I felt very scared, and my heart thumped, so I got up the courage to ask her ..." This buddy had never touched a woman and was a virgin. ...

In contrast, every time I go home, I can hear the ambiguity of my 4-year-old cousin. Since he dropped out of junior high school, he has had a brand-new relationship every year. I also saw him hook up with a girl face to face. The girl who was hooked up was unable to fight back at all ... I even asked him directly, are you so "hard" and not shy?

"shy? What are you ashamed of? It is a man's nature to tease his sister. " He spoke with such confidence that I heard him clearly.

In fact, I have been paying attention to the difference between these two people since I went to college. After attention, this phenomenon frequently appears in my experience. In addition to the above two situations, I find that those who drop out of school always know what they want. Compared with college students who always don't understand their own advantages and disadvantages, those people always know what they can and can't do.

This phenomenon is very strange: in terms of talent, college students undoubtedly have better intelligence and stronger learning ability; In terms of competition, college students have always been the winners of peer competition;

However, when college students really taste the fruits of victory and enter the university, they find that the losers in the competition have far surpassed themselves in their ability to cope with the world.

With the continuous enrichment of my own experience, I have been thinking deeply about this problem. Finally one day, I found the answer to this question.

To sum up the differences between these two types of people, compared with college students, dropouts are undoubtedly better in "mind". Today, mind, as the main criterion to judge whether a person is mature or not, is undoubtedly the core element of social ability and social competition. The growth of mind depends on one's "social practice" and "learning ability". Moreover, there is only one explanation why people who drop out of school have stronger minds, or when their learning ability is not outstanding: more social practice.

And we are all of the same age, how can we have more practice? Yes, they dropped out of school. In this regard, I prefer to say that college students missed a social practice. It is the lack of social practice that makes college students' minds not grow as they should.

Yes, college students are missing a final internship. At that age when it was most necessary to explore society and self, and newborn calves were not afraid of tigers, college students left society. At that time, two walls: a campus wall and a thinking wall, made college students almost in society, but completely isolated from society. So that in the end, the mind almost stagnated or even degenerated.

Finally, I discovered this problem with great pain. Yes, I came out from the imprisonment of two walls, felt the depression at that time, felt the boredom at that time, and deeply remembered how I struggled out of the cage.

However, after all, the past has passed, and we should pay attention to the present. Nowadays, countless college students are still facing the situation of "mentally lagging behind their age and peers", and the college students with the best talents still depend on them for the great progress of society in the future after being selected at different levels.

The mind of college students must grow up, which is determined by your innate pride. To grow up quickly, we must have the pride of "let the stupid bird fly for a few years, and my clever bird will catch up" and shape a strong mind in the shortest time.

To improve your thinking quickly, you should take at least three steps:

The first step is to admit the existence of the problem and admit that you are mentally backward. Only by not avoiding problems can we have the courage to solve them.

Step two, break all the shackles in your heart.

All moral constraints have been ignored. You don't have any experience in taking care of other things at this stage of urgent growth. All kinds of "good and bad, moral and immoral" you will encounter in the process of growing up are not what you should pay attention to at this stage. Remember, only the rich can be charitable, and those with strong hearts have extra love. Your task is to grow mentally, which is the premise of your future achievement.

All other people's expectations, friends', teachers' and even parents', are ignored as long as they are not what you want. You have too many expectations to walk.

The third step is to practice bravely. Practice leads to experience, and mental growth leads to reality.

Start with your easiest practice, preferably social practice. The purpose of practice is not success, but growth.

I believe that if you have experienced the growth brought by practice, you will be addicted, you will see hope, and then keep trying bigger practice, and your growth will be beyond imagination.

If you can do this, from facing up to solving problems, and this problem is related to the mental foundation, then I think the growth you get will be called a kind of nirvana.

College students in China need a phoenix to be reborn.