What are the wedding customs in Shaoxing?

In Shaoxing area, there is "daughter wine" as a dowry, that is, after the daughter is full moon or a few years old, that is, several winemaking jars are buried in the ground and taken out as dowry gifts for the man's family on the day of her marriage.

In the old days, Shaoxing had the custom of referring to the belly for marriage. At the end of the Qing Dynasty and the beginning of the Republic of China, although this custom basically disappeared, a considerable number of people promised their children from an early age. Marriage between men and women is decided by my parents. After the founding of New China, the marriage law has been vigorously publicized and implemented, and young men and women have gained the autonomy of marriage, but their parents should be consulted in advance.

Marriage generally goes through the stages of matchmaking, engagement and marriage.

In the old days, Shaoxing had an intermediary based on marriage. I am a middle-aged and old woman, commonly known as matchmaker, and some people are respected as married wives. There are male matchmakers, commonly known as Mr. Media, Mr. Media.

After the male media got the media note, he asked the female media to go to the female home with him. If the woman's family is willing to send a message to the man's family, it is an informal expression that the woman's family agrees to get married. The format of the media description sent by the woman's family is the same as that of the man's family, except that your son changed it to your yuan. When the matchmaker saw the message from the woman's house, he took out a book with the word "tea ware" written on it and sealed it with money, commonly known as tea money.

The engaged men and women are arranged by the matchmaker, and after a little clue, they will "close Xiao".

If men and women are close and willing to get married, they should post to each other. The date of engagement is chosen by the woman and the date of marriage is chosen by the man. After the woman chooses an auspicious day, the man sends out an "invitation" and sends it to her home together with the "invitation"; The woman's family sent a "quasi-fake post" and brought it to the man's house that day.

On the eve of the wedding, the man must send three sets of bride price to the woman's wedding banquet. If the woman's family is alive, the man's family must send filial piety money and gifts. When the sedan chair comes to the door to get married, the man should also give "opening money" and "getting on the sedan chair".

Adjusting parents means changing marriage. Both parties betrothed their daughters to each other as daughters-in-law to save bride price and wedding expenses.

Old relatives get married. In the past, this custom was very popular, mainly for the marriage of cousins. In addition to enhancing friendship, you can also spend less on bride price, but the marriage of close relatives often delays future generations.

After the founding of People's Republic of China (PRC), the marriage system was reformed. Although many young men and women can fall in love freely and get married independently, most of them still rely on introductions. In the 1980s, youth league, trade unions, women's federations, neighborhood offices, neighborhood committees and other organizations organized marriage agencies to "match the bridge" between young men and women. When the love is mature, go to the local government and golf office to register and get a marriage certificate. In the old days, the bad habit of marriage basically did not exist, but when getting married, water was very popular in catering, and the habit of wasting money did not stop.

In the old days of marriage, the brown shed where the couple slept was temporarily set up with wooden sticks. Before the wedding, the man must choose an auspicious day to "settle down", that is, make a brown shed tenon with a wooden stick on the auspicious day. According to custom, the couple's bed cannot be empty. From the day of bed installation to the day of marriage, the groom or his wife must sleep in the couple's bed. Lang must be accompanied by a boy or a man of both husband and wife.

Before a woman gets married, her family sends a dowry to her husband's family. Before marriage, the couple must hold a bathing ceremony. Meanwhile, the man must shave his head. Light a candle before drinking tea. On the day before marriage, both men and women should offer sacrifices to God (commonly known as Zhu Xifu) and ancestors (commonly known as inviting adults to have soup and rice). When a common woman marries, she must use colorful jade. I'm a concubine or a remarried wife without a sedan chair. Before getting married in a sedan chair, the man should invite two couples and an elder with children and grandchildren to be "lucky stars" and "Lu Xing", borrow the candlelight in the sedan chair to shine in the mirror, and then smoke the sedan chair with the comfort of burning sandalwood, commonly known as "searching the sedan chair", so as to expel the monsters in the sedan chair. When a man sends a sedan chair, the groom wears auspicious clothes and makes three big bows to the sedan chair at the door to show his respect, which is called "sending a sedan chair". The sedan chair is coming, and it is the custom for women to "cry sedan chair". In addition to saying goodbye, there is also an intention to avoid the dumb child born to the bride. Before the man's wedding team comes to the door, the woman's family must ask two "downstream" women to put the bride's clothes into the box, which is called "stacking boxes" Send a married old lady to comb her grandmother's hair and get her ears pierced. , must be accompanied by auspicious words. The bride's brother must prepare the luggage for the bride. This is called "bedding". The wedding was held to the sound of drums. Then, meet the bride and get married. Li Sheng in turn praised "Li!" "Play the music!" "Please upstart into the DPRK!" "Please ask the new jade person to fade!" The bride and groom were greeted by two downstream wives in front of the "Fu Lushou" star in the hall. In the sound of firecrackers, the bride and groom worship heaven and earth first, then "Samsung" inward, and finally pay homage. The wedding host is a ceremonial student, and the deputy ceremonial student reads a congratulatory message (candle poem). Civilians also welcome the chef's right to give gifts to the living. After that, the bride and groom stood in front of the "Samsung" and held the "Zhang Jinfu" ceremony. When entering the bridal chamber, "Fu Lang" and "Uncle" must help the bride and groom grab a new bed.

On the wedding day, both men and women will hold grand celebrations to entertain guests. Before the man sends a sedan chair to get married, he will make "sedan chair wine" and "warm house wine". Wedding day is commonly known as "good day", and "positive wine" must be held. At noon, the woman held a "women's wine" and invited relatives and friends to the wedding reception. In the evening, the man gave a banquet, and the father-in-law (that is, the father-in-law) and uncle took the first place as usual. The bride and groom should propose a toast to their elders and guests. Weddings in Shaoxing are usually held on winter nights (mostly at noon). It is often in the middle of the night to perform complex etiquette in order, so there is a saying that "uncle is afraid of the sun". On that day, the woman's brother didn't live in the man's house. The next morning, the old man came to the door to "send the children". That is, a wooden "villain" wearing red and green trousers is sent to the bridal chamber, put on the bed, light incense sticks and play music to pray, which is called sending a child. Breakfast is the first time for newcomers to eat, commonly known as the first gathering of rice. The bride must sit first and the groom second.

The concept and customs of marriage in Shaoxing have also changed. During the period of the Republic of China, the enlightened gentry in cities advocated simplified etiquette and civilized marriage, but the civilians in cities and rural areas remained the same. After the founding of the People's Republic of China, marriage customs tend to be civilized and simple. The wedding time is mostly on Labor Day, National Day, New Year's Day or Spring Festival, and there are also group weddings or tourist weddings.

Although Shaoxing is an ancient historical and cultural city, people's hearts are actually not ancient today in the 2 1 century. On the issue of marriage, young men and women in Shaoxing have greater autonomy, and of course they also seek their parents' opinions in advance. In the countryside, it may be a bit backward. The whole marriage generally goes through three stages: matchmaking, engagement and marriage.

Matchmaking used to have a strong industrial flavor in Shaoxing, but now it is more of a part-time job. Most of the people who run this line are middle-aged women, called matchmakers. These people have a glib tongue and are fully capable of saying that ducks running on the ground are swans flying in the sky. They can turn ugly women into princesses and ugly men into handsome men. Male matchmakers are called media people. Most rural young men and women need a matchmaker and a matchmaker to get married. Now it's called a referee, no longer paying attention to gender. If it is a bridge between men and women who are in free love, it is called "ready-made media".

Men and women who are not in free love must be arranged by the matchmaker. After contact (not "intimate contact"), it includes blind date and side understanding. If both parties are satisfied, it is necessary to "combine dawn", also called "eight o'clock". This "Eight o'clock" is about "Five Elements", "Jin Kemu", "Mutuke" and so on. There are many things anyway. Fortune tellers are usually invited to join. This step is actually the most crucial, especially in some superstitious rural areas in Shaoxing. If the matchmaker sets the two parties up and "eight o'clock" doesn't agree, most marriages will be ruined. Love is free, but what if you have to help each other at eight o'clock? There are two situations, one is that parents respect their children's wishes and things are easy to handle. The other is that the elders are superstitious, opinionated and resolutely disagree with marriage. In this way, the story "Shaoxing Edition" of Romeo and Juliet is likely to be staged.

If both men and women express their willingness to get married after "marriage", they must be engaged. At this time, the woman's family will put the request for "bride price" (also called bride price) on the table, and the woman's matchmaker will come forward to talk about the conditions, what to want and so on. It is common for a man to give her a "gift" before marriage. Generally speaking, "bride price" is often used as the bride's future wedding expenses, such as buying a wedding banquet and dowry. It is said that "the married daughter is the spilled water", and some parents with heavy feudal concepts are unwilling to "paste" their daughters. In this way, the man's economic pressure is heavier. Also, for those who are engaged or ostentatious, the two sides will set up twenty or thirty tables and a banquet to entertain relatives and friends. It is publicly announced that another marriage dust has settled. But now, because of the complexity, if both parents agree, engagement becomes dispensable.

After the engagement, the man became a prospective son-in-law, but in our local area, he was called "hairy-footed son-in-law". Before marriage, the woman's family members, such as elders, are still alive. On holidays, the man must give gifts such as alcohol and tobacco. This is not a small expense. Some women have many relatives, and men often spend a lot of money on holidays.

Before a woman gets married, her family sends a dowry to her husband's family. On the wedding day, both men and women will hold a grand banquet to entertain guests and relatives. The wedding day is also called "good day" and the banquet is called "wine". Usually at noon, the woman holds a wedding banquet, and all her relatives and friends attend it. In the evening, the man gave a banquet, and the husband and uncle took the first place on the big table in front of the man's purlin. The bride and groom should propose a toast to their elders and guests one by one. In previous years, the bride usually went to the woman's house after midnight and set off from the man's motorcade (formerly a sedan chair). Before getting on the car (sedan chair), the woman wants to cry, which means thanking her parents for their kindness. The loudness of crying is proportional to the degree of gratitude. If you don't cry, it is inevitable that a woman will point at you behind your back and condemn you for being unfilial. Of course, those who are open-minded and knowledgeable are not included here.

In the past, when a woman was welcomed to a man's house, she had to perform a complicated set of etiquette. However, with the development of society, these ceremonies that are out of step with the times are gradually eliminated by history, and marriage has gradually become fashionable and modern. So now more and more young people in Shaoxing have moved their marriages to hotels, and the wedding time is mostly on May Day, National Day, New Year's Day or weekends. Group weddings or travel weddings are also more common.