The Story of Shenyao and Li Xiaojun in 168

The story is called a woman's ten years.

There are

post the second half for you online.

Eight

When telling this story, I neglected many people. They passed me by in my life.

For example, in a hotel in Shenzhen, a boy slipped me a note and put roses on the window sill of my dormitory. It's not that I haven't seen it before, but I hurt him severely. I stood under the street lamp and asked him, You are a waiter, what do you love me with?

in the dark, his face was red, he exhaled, and then he turned away.

Later, we passed each other countless times in the hotel, and his eyes were full of anger and disdain.

Later, he left the hotel.

Later, I heard that he started a company.

Later, I heard that he had become a minor celebrity in Shenzhen.

I often think of him. He is a good boy and should find a flawless woman.

Another boy is from Jiangmen, and his home is across the water from Hong Kong.

We met on the plane to Wuhan. Yes, it was the time when I returned to Wuhan from Guangzhou. He would be in Wuhan for business in January. He sat next to me, staring blankly in my seat with red eyes, and he talked to me from time to time.

I vomited violently on the first flight, and he has been busy for me, which is more considerate than the stewardess.

We hitchhiked from the airport to downtown Wuhan. He gave me the phone number. I know he fell in love with me at first sight.

He came to my school and invited me to dinner, but I refused lazily.

He has a distinguished family, a good education and a decent job. He dragged me to go shopping. As long as I stood in front of something for more than three minutes, I would definitely receive this gift one day. He is the ultimate romantic and gentleman.

I went to see him off when he returned to Guangzhou. At the airport, he shyly asked me, Miss Shen, if you like, would you consider being my girlfriend?

I laugh. I said I sent you an e-mail, and you will know my answer when I return to Guangzhou.

I told him everything in the email.

when he flew back to Wuhan to find me, I had already gone to Shenzhen.

I had already left Shenzhen when he searched for my address.

in order to look at the bright moon in the sky, I missed the flying glory on earth.

We actually met in Beijing in p>23. At that time, there were already smiling women around him. We exchanged pleasantries, and he turned his back with a lonely smile.

Let me catch my breath and talk about Shen Yao.

I took myself out of the plot and pretended that Shen Yao was just a woman who happened to have the same name as me and had a similar experience with me.

a new century has begun.

On the New Year's Eve of the Millennium, the fireworks all over the sky bloom like flowers, which is particularly enchanting. I sat on the balcony railing with steamed bread. She asked me if I still hated Li Xiaojun. I was silent. I thought of my dead child, and I remembered the supercilious look I had seen. I gritted my teeth and said, I hate.

steamed bread is silent, and it is my hate word that once again makes me and Li Xiaojun pass by.

Before the steamed bread asked me this sentence, Xiaojun said to the steamed bread on the phone: Xiaoman, I decided to ask Yaoyao to tell me in person what happened to her, and how could she humiliate herself like that.

Shantou shouted at the phone: Li Xiaojun, I also want to ask what you did to Yaoyao!

The steamed bread grabbed me, patted me on the shoulder and said, Yaoyao, forget Xiaojun and start over. Youth is inherently bitter.

I fell asleep in the arms of steamed bread. In my dream, I saw Xiao Jun standing on the other side of a big river. I called him at the top of my lungs here, but he didn't respond. I've had this dream for three years, and I'm tired of it.

Shantou called Xiaojun that night, and she told Xiaojun calmly: Shen Yao hates you, please don't disturb her quiet life again.

and these, I don't know.

how many times have we passed by?

It was a snail's time, and I hardly laughed.

I often stop on the bus, spill washing powder in the toilet, cut vegetables and leave water on my hands. My life is a mess. I am like a cripple who has lost the ability to live.

I live in a small attic near Hanzheng Street. I go to work early and come back late every day. On weekends, I sit on the terrace and read the newspaper. I never turn a page from dawn to dusk. I don't talk all day, and at the last moment I think it's someone else's voice.

when I get a job, I usually quit within a week, because I am too dull and often make retarded mistakes.

I was looking for a job in the smoky weather in June, and my skin was tanned. I stood on the street in Wuhan and looked at the huge billboard and felt dizzy. I have almost no proud capital. I have been neglected for four years, and my major is not good.

Finally, a company wanted me, and they took a fancy to my young and pure face. Every day, I stood in the lobby of the company, wearing a straight suit and putting on just the right makeup, just like a living signboard. Occasionally, obscene customers made excessive jokes. I just wanted to keep my smile and everything was ok.

Life seems to smile gradually.

for nine

two thousand years, I was in a fog, and there was no news from Xiaojun.

in 2, my trajectory was from work to dormitory, and I never crossed the line.

two thousand years is very important. Because when I seemed to be coming out of the haze, Xiao Jun and Li Xiaojun appeared.

A wound that looks like blood coagulation was stabbed again.

on November 12th, 2, I got a phone call from my high school classmates after work, saying that a group of Wuhan classmates were waiting for me at a hotel.

When I went there, everyone was here. A group of people were joking. I laughed quietly in the corner. During the dinner, someone answered the phone and asked everyone: Hey, comrades, guess who's here?

Students, you guessed from mouth to mouth. The classmate who answered the phone mysteriously said: Li Xiaojun, an outstanding employee of Motorola, has returned to Wuhan.

As I spoke, the door of the private room had been pushed open, and the lover I missed so much stood in front of my eyes, and my head exploded with a bang.

amid all the voices, Xiao Jun also saw me, and we crossed the surrounding sounds and stared at each other.

My love, he is still tall and straight, and the chest I miss is still generous. His eyes, his eyebrows, his cold fingertips, his thick curly hair and the scarlet mole behind his ears are still the same.

how I want to go forward and lie down on that chest and have a good cry.

Xiao Jun just looked at me like that, and then he was punished. He drank spicy white wine one after another. Drink till your neck is red.

I just looked at him stiffly, separated by a round table, and I looked at him, leaving an indelible mark on my life, Xiao Jun. He didn't look at me again and didn't say a word to me.

after dinner, we moved to another classmate's house for activities, and I was forcibly pulled over. Xiao Jun is in another car.

My classmates deliberately don't let us be in the same car. They know the embarrassing past of Li Xiao and me. They think that Li Xiao and I are all gone. Who knows that I am deeply grieved?

eight people, two tables. A table of poker and a table of mahjong.

Li Xiaojun shared a table with me, and he sat down opposite me.

after a night of silence, I lost 3 and he lost 4.

There was nothing to say until it was white. When he left, he finally said, Shen Yao, please pass me my coat.

This sentence is very clever. When we are together, he often tells me: Shen Yao, bring me my coat, Shen Yao, bring my shoes in, and Shen Yao bring me my tie ...

For a moment, I still have hallucinations, as if we still love each other, as if I can still coquetry in his arms at any time, as if I can still swing around his neck, as if ... < What he said today was preceded by the word "please", which wiped out all our vigorous past.

My little Jun has completely turned my page. He is no longer the one waiting for me in the same place.

though, I wasted my whole life for him.

I went back to my residence, searched out all the things with traces of small average, and stroked them carefully in the faint sunshine in winter.

the hairpin and brooch he gave me, all the tickets from Wuhan to Guangzhou, the tickets from Guangzhou to Wuhan, the message he wrote me, the phone book with his handwriting, his tie clip, his cold medicine, the invoice for his pager, our rent receipt, and the sheet that we first became intimate with.

I spent the whole day looking at these tiny things, watching them, and began to wipe my tears, sob and howl.

after a year, I finally burst into tears.

I miss Xiaojun.

I thought he missed me too.

I am miserable because of missing.

I thought his pain was worse.

I thought we would be together again. As usual, he would come and hug me and kiss my eyelashes. His lips were thin and his eyes were bright. I thought he would say: Yaoyao, I love you, and I still love you.

I thought I could jump into his arms again and bite my teeth marks on his shoulders willfully. I want to sleep in his arms and have a dream that there are spring blossoms, four seasons alternate and waves wet the shore.

It's all over. He can politely say please to me. He doesn't look at my haggard face. I lost ten pounds in a year. My wrist is so thin that I can see the blue blood vessels. He didn't even look back when he left my sight. I almost fainted behind him. He didn't know. There were so many details that he didn't know.

I resigned from the company with red eyes and bought a plane ticket to Beijing.

I want to find a corner to lick the wound, not Wuhan, Guangzhou or Shenzhen.

I choose Beijing, where the four seasons are distinct and the winter is freezing.

October

In December, 2, at the Capital Airport, the wind was cold, and I walked into the crowd with a small suitcase.

At that time, I looked indifferent, my eyes were no longer clear, and my straight hair just reached my shoulders. The only thing that remained unchanged was that my lips were like a baby. I insisted on not using any lipstick and lip honey, and I kept my loyalty for him for six years.

I rented a room in Gongzhufen, painted it into tender powder, lit a faint fragrance of Dharma in the room, set green leafy plants on the windowsill, and raised two fish swimming in the water in the fish tank on the dining table.

I go back and forth between Guomao and Gongzhufen every day. I am used to sleeping by hanging the handrail in the subway, wearing stiff professional clothes, and living without a small average.

I seem to be getting farther and farther away from Xiaojun.

I no longer contact my classmates in Wuhan. I bought a mobile phone number in Beijing, and the phone book is full of my friends in Beijing.

Three months later, I spoke a fluent Beijing film. Even Beijingers didn't know my origin. They didn't expect that I had called Wuhan vicious, and they didn't know that I could understand every sentence of Guangzhou dialect.

I smiled demurely and talked with clients gently, as if I was born for work.

however, night is a difficult time.

I have a habit of crying on the terrace at night. I cried heartily, then dried my tears, went into the room, got into bed and sobbed to sleep. I relied on this once-a-day catharsis like a baby. I occasionally wake up in the middle of the night. I have nightmares and wake up shivering. I stand on the terrace with my arms in my arms. The night in Beijing is as cold as water, and my bare skin hurts. I often stand there for half a night.

when I wake up, I will get up quickly and rush to the subway station to start my day's work. No one knows that my secret night is so unbearable.

without him, I'm just lonely.

On weekends, I will play chess with people in the activity center of the community to kill time. My chess level is getting better and better, and I can almost dominate in the community. Only when I play chess, I can think nothing. I give chess to kind grandfathers with tolerance, I amuse them, and the old people haggle like children, so I let them go again and win them.

I just stayed in the activity center for one day. If there is sunshine, I will push the old people with inconvenient legs and feet for a walk and listen to their interesting stories about old Beijing. Their love for me is beyond my imagination. For a while, clothes hanging in the community were stolen repeatedly, but my clothes were never lost. As long as I washed my clothes, they chatted near the clothesline until the clothes were dry. They took them off for me. Every time I came back from the company, I couldn't help but feel sour in my nose when I saw the clothes hanging on the doorknob that smelled of sunshine.

if you give love, you will get more love.

But I have paid so much love for Li Xiaojun, but what I have gained is the pain that cuts my skin.

Eleven

Do you think I will still describe those processes? No, no, I want to end this memory. The details are getting sadder and sadder. None of the wounds can stand repeated descriptions, and it is shocking to open them. We only say later, every story that started in the past will have a later.

Later, in January 23, a man named Suk said loudly in the crowded street of Wangfujing: Shen Yao, marry me. I forbid you to cry again.

Suk has pure eyes, fair skin and slender fingers. He is thin and emaciated, but he said he would protect me. I tried to hold his arm and lean against his chest, closing my eyes and groping for warmth.

I said to Suk: Suk, give me three days, just three days, and I'll give you the answer.

Suk wrapped my hand in his big hand and said, I'll wait.

for three days, I used it for a flight.

flying is at night, seeing the darkness in your eyes. Standing at Baiyun airport, listening to the familiar and sonorous Cantonese, it seems like a lifetime ago. I recruited a taxi and gradually drove into the heart of Guangzhou. Every slight bump made people feel palpitation. The shy young driver asked me, Miss, where are you going?

please, show me around, anywhere. I said.

and then what? He kept asking me.

I sat in the back seat and watched the neon flashing outside the window: then, we went back to the airport.

the driver looked at me in amazement in the rearview mirror. I smiled and explained: I just forgot the taste of Guangzhou and flew in to smell it.

When I returned to Beijing, it was early in the morning. In the chilly spring of January, I called Shantou. I asked her if she knew where Li Xiaojun was. Shantou was silent, and then told me word by word: Li Xiaojun's wedding date is scheduled for May 1st.

Hang up the phone, sit on the side of the road, stay in a daze, and then stop the car with difficulty.

Taxis are struggling on the Third Ring Road. Traffic jams are common in Beijing. I looked bored outside against the window. A man in a navy suit stood beside a Passat, looking like Li Xiaojun. I jumped out of the car as if possessed. As soon as I got off, I saw the man get into the car, and then the car started to move slowly. I ran quickly and the traffic began to move faster and faster. I was completely thrown on the Third Ring Road.

Three days later, Suk and I stood at the marriage registration office.

Twelve

Jun, if you read this article one day, please believe that this is all, my ten years, the ten years I have paid for you. I don't ask, I don't ask how you can make me sad.

after all, we will forget about the Jianghu, and let it drift away.