In fact, don't care too much about other people's opinions, just live comfortably, don't you?

Most people in China value face. When dealing with people, you will feel ashamed if there is something that makes you lose face. This is because in China's long feudal society, people rely more on perceptual and subjective things in self-control. So many people in China are very concerned about other people's opinions. Once others feel that they have done something wrong, they will feel ashamed. Therefore, many people are afraid of losing face in front of others, so they dare not speak more and are unwilling to express their feelings on their own initiative.

-Attention.

The moment Lincoln, recognized as the greatest president in American history, was elected president, all members of the Senate felt embarrassed, because most of the senators in the United States at that time were noble and thought themselves superior. They never imagined that the president they faced was a man of humble origin-Lincoln's father was a shoemaker.

Before Lincoln gave his first speech in the Senate, senators planned to humiliate him. When Lincoln stood on the podium, an arrogant senator stood up and said, "Mr. Lincoln, before you start your speech, I want you to remember that you are the son of a shoemaker." All the senators laughed and were glad that they could humiliate Lincoln, even though they couldn't beat him. When everyone's laughter stopped, Lincoln said, "I am very grateful to you for reminding me of my father." He's dead. I will always remember your complaints. I will always be the shoemaker's son. " I know I can never be a good president like my father as a shoemaker. "The Senate immediately fell into a silent jump. Lincoln turned to the arrogant senator and said, "As far as I know, my father used to make shoes for your family. If your shoes don't fit, I can help you correct them. Although I am not a great shoemaker, I have learned the skills of shoemaking from my father since I was a child. Then he glanced at all the senators in the audience with gentle eyes: "It's the same for anyone in the Senate. If the shoes you are wearing are made by my father and need to be repaired or improved, I will try my best to help. "But one thing is certain, I can't be as great as him, and his craftsmanship is unparalleled." At this point, Lincoln shed tears and the audience suddenly burst into thunderous applause. Lincoln was proud to be the son of a shoemaker. This great quality shocked those who despised him. Lincoln used his life to prove that you can laugh at me at first, but in the end you have to admit that I am a great president and an admirable giant. Two people, grandparents and grandchildren, took a donkey to the market. At first, the grandson rode the donkey, and grandpa led the donkey. Not far away, idle people on the roadside talked about it one after another: "Look at this child, it's so outrageous. How can he ride a donkey by himself and let his grandfather lead him?" After hearing this, the grandparents and grandchildren felt a little wrong, so they changed to grandpa riding a donkey and grandson holding a donkey. Not far away, idle people on the roadside talked in succession: "Look at this old man, it's outrageous. How can he ride a donkey by himself and let the children lead him? "

Hearing this, the grandparents and grandchildren felt a little unreasonable, so grandpa got off the donkey and led the donkey with his grandson. Not far away, idle people on the roadside talked in succession: "Look at these two people, how stupid!"

Hearing this, the grandparents and grandchildren felt really stupid, so they rode on the donkey's back together. Not far away, there are idle people on the side of the road: "Look at these two people, why are they so cruel?" They only care about their own comfort and don't think the donkey can't stand it. They ride donkeys and don't kill them? "

Hearing this, the two grandparents felt that they were really a little cruel. So I was ashamed and got off the donkey quickly, but I didn't know which way to go. After thinking for a long time, they had to carry the donkey. This time, the idle people on the roadside stopped talking, but looked at the grandparents and grandchildren with mocking eyes and thought that there must be something wrong with them. More nosy people swarmed and surrounded them to the market in a mighty way.

Is it wrong for grandpa to ride the donkey or grandson to ride the donkey or both grandparents and grandchildren to carry the donkey? Yes, absolutely. Is there anything wrong with the people on the roadside? According to freedom of speech, yes. The mistake is that the grandparents and grandchildren take other people's words too seriously, so in the end, they are at a loss.

Schopenhauer, a great philosopher, said that all truths have to go through three stages before they can be accepted by the world: the first stage is absurd and ignored; In the second stage, I strongly resisted as a heresy; In the third stage, I accepted it without thinking. Therefore, once you accept other people's beliefs, just like a spell in the nervous system, your present and future will be affected by it.

If a person wants to dominate his own life, he must master his own beliefs. According to popular saying, there is a correct judgment between one's own thoughts and others' opinions. Otherwise, we are likely to lose ourselves.

Reiko Kobayakawa is an excellent girl. She grew up under the care of her parents. She has always set a high standard for herself, hoping that her parents can be proud of her and are more willing to hear sincere compliments from others.

Now that she is an adult, she is still the same at work. She never argued with anyone in the office, praised everyone, and never showed any grievances and sadness on her face. If the superior has any opinions on her, she will be very sad, even if her colleagues just give her some advice, she will be nervous and correct it immediately.

A person who cares too much about others' opinions is, in the final analysis, thin-skinned. They don't live for themselves, but always live for others' good comments on themselves.

Of course, one can learn from other people's opinions, get advice and improve oneself. But that doesn't mean you have to satisfy others. It is tiring to live for other people's opinions, and it is not necessarily to learn from others' strengths, but more likely to stifle their original characteristics.

It is painful to live in other people's opinions. You must always pay attention to other people's opinions and opinions, and constantly face them with the golden mean. Over time, your knowledge and characteristics will disappear. Because I have no time to take care of myself. .

Xiao Feng, who graduated from college last year, is the only child in the family and likes the unruly taste of Jay Chou. But after working for a year, Xiaofeng found that things were not what he thought. He was lucky to be an assistant in the human resources department of a foreign company. I met an embarrassing problem on my second day at work. That day, Xiao Feng, who rushed into the elevator, found that he had just met the vice president of the company yesterday, that is, the head of the human resources department. Xiao Feng began to hesitate to turn around and say hello, but he was afraid that he was too likable and people might not remember him. He had to introduce himself in front of everyone in the elevator. So he made up his mind to ignore it. Unexpectedly, a report was sent to the vice president's secretary later. It happened that the vice president came out of the office, but his eyes drifted far away, as if he didn't see it. He began to regret his behavior in the elevator, thinking that the vice president must have seen him in the elevator. Before long, something worse happened. The boss took Xiao Feng to have dinner with the vice president and customers. Because of the last thing, Xiaofeng really wants to take this opportunity to get on well with the vice president. But in the whole process, he hardly showed any performance, but struggled in his mind countless times. He is stirred like a fool by too many ideas of his own. On the way to the hotel, the boss and the vice president talked about the company first. He thought, in the company, I am a newcomer, and I have been silent. The vice president in the middle coughed for a while. He wanted to take the opportunity to ask, Vice President, are you sick? But as soon as the idea came out, he felt ashamed and suddenly the word "flattery" appeared. On the contrary, his boss said, "Are you in poor health recently?" The vice principal sighed and said, this old problem is going to fall soon. So they talked about life again. Xiaofeng wanted to participate in the topic several times, thinking that everyone was familiar with it before talking about such an intimate topic. What qualifications do you have to participate? Don't act like you're trying to please the vice president through my boss. Therefore, he was silent all the way. When getting off the bus, Xiaofeng found the vice principal with a big computer bag and a trench coat on his arm, so he thought, should I take his bag and trench coat in my hand? But if I do that, won't I become a follower? The image of "clown" began to wander in his mind again. Just as he hesitated, the vice president had walked into the hotel, and people from the other company happened to meet him. When the two sides shook hands, Xiaofeng clearly saw that the vice president was uncomfortable and seemed to be crossing him. He became more and more nervous.

When eating, he was at a loss. Because I feel that my status is low, it is natural to be silent at the toast site. When chatting with the other company, he doesn't seem to know where to start. His supervisor never explained it to him in advance. Xiaofeng feels like air and sits on one side. The supervisor later made him act like a newcomer and propose a toast to another vice president. He immediately said he couldn't drink it. May I propose a toast to the juice? The relaxed atmosphere suddenly disappeared. ...

This story seems to be because the hero is not smooth and has too many personal ideas in his heart. In fact, no one is born with his own ideas, but is cultivated in the process of growing up the day after tomorrow. A person's point of view is sometimes not what he really thinks. Xiaofeng's indecision is actually influenced by many tangible and intangible views, such as the social moral identity of colleagues and the vice president in charge, which also deeply affects him, so the last thing he does is not what he really wants to do. These are very detailed things. If you think you can do it, there is no need to hesitate so much.

A person's greatest weakness is that, like this person in the story, he attaches too much importance to other people's opinions and reflections, and is full of worries, making things that were originally quite simple very complicated.

If a person wants to dominate his life, he must strengthen his belief. Once you accept the beliefs of others, your present and future will be influenced by them.

When Disney was at school, he was particularly keen on painting and novels describing his adventure life, and soon finished reading Mark Twain's The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and other adventure novels. Once, when the teacher assigned painting homework, Komatsu gave full play to his imagination, painting a box of flowers as faces and leaves as human hands, and each flower expressed its personality with its own expression. It is said that this should be a very positive thing for children. However, the ignorant teacher didn't understand the wonderful world in the child's heart at all, and even thought that Little Disney was fooling around and said, "How can a few flowers be human?" Don't doodle if you can't draw! And tore his work to pieces in public. Little Disney argued, "In my heart, these flowers are really alive. Sometimes I can hear the flowers in the wind say hello to me. The teacher was very angry, so he took Little Disney to the podium, gave him a good beating and warned him, "Dudu will get worse in the future." . "Fortunately, the teacher's beating has not changed his' graffiti problem', and he has been striving to pursue his dream of becoming a cartoonist. After the United States entered the war in World War I, Disney signed up to join the army and became a car driver regardless of his parents' opposition. He created some cartoons in his spare time and sent them to some humorous magazines in China. His works were all returned without exception, on the grounds that they were too mediocre and the author lacked talent and spirituality. After the war, Disney refused his father's request and asked Walter to work in the refrigeration plant in which he owned part of the shares. He wants to realize his dream of becoming a painter, which he vowed to achieve when he was a child. He came to Kansas City, and took his works everywhere to apply for jobs. After hitting the wall again and again, he finally got a job in an advertising company. However, he was dismissed after only one month, and the reason was still his lack of painting ability. 1923 10, Walter Disney and his brother Roy finally formally established their own "Disney Brothers Company" in the abandoned warehouse in the backyard of a real estate company in Hollywood. Soon, the company changed its name to "Walter Disney Company". Despite many ups and downs, Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck he created became famous all over the world within a few years. And won 27 Oscar awards for him, making him the person who won the most awards in the world. After his death; The obituary published in The New York Times wrote: "Walt, Disney had almost nothing at first, only a little talent for painting, a natural imagination that matched everyone's imagination, and perseverance and determination to succeed. Eventually become the best entrepreneur in Hollywood and the most successful comic master in the world ... "

Time is fair. It was the ability of painting, natural imagination and indomitable will that supported the glory of his life. However, this kind of imagination was regarded as nonsense and led to beatings. As for painting ability, it has been repeatedly denied by people. Fortunately, Walter Disney didn't deny himself because of other people's comments, but firmly followed the road of his dreams.

When a person lives in the world, the first thing is to realize his own life value, not to win everyone's approval or even support. In the world, there are always some people who can't talk to themselves. Since no one can win everyone's heart, why pretend to insist on having no friends? No matter how hard you try, you can't make everyone your friend. It's normal to have enemies, and it's not shameful, so we don't have to spend too much time and energy to please anyone. It is fortunate to have the best popularity in the world, but sometimes it is enough to "get a confidant in life".

In this world, how can you be happy if you always worry about others' attitudes and base your own gains and losses on others' words and deeds? Let others misunderstand if they want to misunderstand. Why care? If someone can't see the facts clearly, it's purely their loss, not yours. Just because others are indifferent to you does not mean that your value does not exist; It doesn't matter if others look down on you, just value yourself. If the other party abuses wantonly, and those abusive words are groundless, then you can either retort wit and humor, or ignore it and laugh it off, which will show your personality charm more and more.

Anyone can express their views on you, but you don't have to cater to anyone and change yourself beyond recognition. You are a very unique person, and you have the face to smile at other people's opinions. What's wrong with that?