Selected weekend humorous short message sentences

1. Without the help of friends, the Jianghu is too dangerous to leave. Wandering in the downtown streets without the care of relatives. Without your blessing, the world of mortals is full of sadness. How many text messages do you send me a year? No wonder my head turned white with worry!

2, one year old, there are many reasons to understand: it will be windy when it rains, it will be silent when it snows, the steel plate will be hard, it will freeze at MINUS 10 degrees, and it will last if you eat too much. Remember, not a good friend will not tell you these things!

3, your performance is really good: eat when you are hungry, drink when you are thirsty, sit for a long time, know that your body temperature is high, and know that you are grinning happily. Comments: You are normal, go on!

You are a lovely giant panda. I really want to hold you in my arms, touch your soft body, feed you the greenest bamboo, and then look into your eyes and say, buddy, I didn't sleep well last night!

5, the belt is getting wider and wider, and I don't regret it, which brings shame to Iraq; Running around for you, tired for you, I called you back several times in my dream, scrimped and saved, and worked hard to catch up with you. So obsessed with that? My dear house, who else but you?

I sent you a gift by express delivery. Please check it. I believe it will bring you infinite happiness and special surprises, and maybe you will cry with joy. The courier may deliver the goods to your door at night. His name is ... smelly mosquito.

7. Is it hot? Send you a wisp of breeze, refreshing; Send you cold water to cool down; Ice cream for you, cold and cold. Is it still hot? There is no other way but a trick, you ... streaking. Cool "summer" and happy "summer".

8. Smile and express your happy mood; Smile and let your teeth feel the freedom of the wind; Smile, make your troubles stupid; Smile, anger will turn into a nod; Smile again, ok, rub the expression muscles, don't be stiff!

9. You like to wear colorful clothes, visit colorful shopping malls, drink colorful drinks and eat colorful fruits. Flying colorful kites in colorful fields. Your life is colorful, you are a pervert!

10, long time no see. I miss you for a while. I hope you are sweating all over. I miss you so much that my hands and feet are shaking. I am worried that your mouth is crooked and my legs are too tired to stand by and send text messages. If you still have a conscience, please reply to the message to comfort me!

1 1, I heard that you have insomnia and dreaminess recently, and I know it's all about money. In order to let you have a good sleep, the best way is to let me keep your savings. Please let me help you suffer!

12, send you a flower with red petals, red stamens, red receptacle and red pedicel; Give it to your mother-in-law, smile, give it to your wife, and you can change money if you keep it, which is also called money spending.

13, money, wandering heart, no car, no house, no wife, no worries, just sightseeing! Seeing your confusion, at least I am stronger than you, bless you! Weakness requires confidence and courage!

14, I miss your heart, I miss your spleen and stomach trembling, I hope your clothes are getting wider and wider, I hope your heart is wandering; Forget it, I just want you to laugh every day, lower your head to find money, and look up at the BRICS.

15, yellow peach, plum and red apple, may your acacia blossom and bear fruit; Pumpkins, beans and Chinese cabbage are loved by girls every day. Fanta green tea boiled water, good dreams every night; Orange cucumber iced tea, eat whatever you want.

16. Although Tiger Waterfall Plain was bullied by dogs, who will give you a try on your buddy's site and I won't chop him to death? I heard that you have just been bullied, so I will send you a message to comfort you: take good care of yourself, be happy and healthy!

17, the temperature is increasing every day, at most * * *. Prices go up every day and spend every month. My temper is getting longer every day, and I'm tired of swearing. But you can play ball, eat and fetch water, but you can't fight!

18, you are the god in my heart, you are the sky in my heart, you are the popsicle in my heart in summer; You are the air in my life, you are the water in my life, you are three quarters of my life. I hope the weather is cool every day.

19, I made you a suit, Chaplin's hat, Jackie Chan's tuxedo, the old man's belt and Nike shoes. Needless to say, I want you to be a clown in the eyes of the whole world.

20. If I have money, a big house will make my family angry, and I will buy a car to make car owners angry. I will buy a piece of land just to see him have a good time, and the most important thing is to buy a good body to make my hospital angry.

2 1, the back wave of the Yangtze River pushes the front wave, and the writer dies on the short message; Writing a short message hit the wall, and Venus flashed; Sms funny volume tsunami, somersault on the beach: after reading this news, you can laugh!

22, Valentine's Day to see others in pairs, greedy eyes; I was jealous when I saw the young lady on holiday on Women's Day. I envy seeing children receive gifts on Children's Day. Today, I finally waited for 525 Love Yourself Day. Don't envy others, treat yourself well.

23. "My Lord, I can't live with my wife anymore. She is so rude. 10 years ago, she hit me on the head with a plate. " "Why did you file for divorce until now?" "Because she has been aiming too accurately recently!"

24. I usually care less, and occasionally there will be small quarrels. The itch of life has nowhere to scratch, and I worry again and again. Get a little emotional today and send a text message to make you laugh. 527 is wife-loving day, and I swear to rely on you for a lifetime.

25, found himself really, everyone loves me, bloom flowers fall, the car sees the car open, the beer sees the lid open, and the car sees an automatic puncture, so I came to worship. Love myself, I just want to live a wonderful life.

26. I am rare. I can scare off millions of heroes in front, brake thousands of troops behind me, ward off evil spirits at night, and scare off hooligans during the day. The most important thing is that I have a high IQ and can send text messages. Don't laugh at 525 narcissism day. Please forward it to see if it will.

27. The miser was on a business trip, afraid that others would steal the wine he had just ordered, so he wrote on a piece of paper: I spat in the cup. After a while, he came back and found a few more words on the note: I vomited too!

28. Care is not fireworks, but disappearing after burning out; Missing is not a flower, it will wither after blooming. A lifelong friend, friendship is precious, and the weekend is here again. Send comfort by text message. I wish you a happy weekend, no worries, no worries and no fatigue! Dear customers, have a nice weekend!

29. The highest state of friendship: each enjoys well-being and does not disturb each other. The highest state of love: love each other and grow old together. The highest state of life: no regrets, dumbfounding. Greetings to the highest level: always remember to contact at the weekend!

30. A true friend is not an episode in life, but an eternal confidant. I will cherish the friendship between you and me forever. The weekend comes as scheduled, and I am willing to leave my tiredness and happiness in my heart! I wish my dear customers a happy weekend!

3 1. Have a good mood. If there are sincere wishes, I wish you and your family a relaxed and happy weekend on this cool day. I wish my dear customers a happy weekend!

32. When the weekend comes, don't work, forget to socialize, put on all the suits and shoes and put your tail up. Sleep casually, let you play freely and freely, even if you think wildly, I hope you get what you want and have a good laugh!

33. Sometimes I am very busy, sometimes I am very tired, and sometimes my heart is very tired; Sometimes lazy, sometimes bored, sometimes confused; Sometimes I call, sometimes I text, and sometimes I really miss you. It's the weekend, let's go shopping together!

34. I hope you love learning like a slow sheep, smart like a pleasant sheep, cute like a lazy sheep, and enthusiastic like a boiling sheep, and then find a grey wolf who will always love you and enjoy life together!

35. Take health as a profession and work hard; Take happiness as life and take it seriously; Take happiness as a dream and stick to it; Take peace as a blessing and take it with you at any time; Think of the weekend as a long vacation, and I hope you will start with a smile. Customers, have a nice weekend!

36. Green leaves accompany flowers and care for them all the way; White clouds accompany the blue sky, always stormy; Care about your friends and show happiness and worry-free; I look forward to blessing you from afar: I wish you a happy weekend!

37. On weekends, friendship will be signed to drive away loneliness and cold, deepen friendship and keep in touch, troubles and sadness will dissipate with the wind, and friends will have a drink together, and happiness and sweetness will be there. If you are busy and have no time, I wish you a warmer harvest! Happy weekend!

38. What is the most painful thing in winter weekend? The most painful thing about the weekend is that it is too cold; What is the most painful thing in winter weekend? The most painful thing on weekends is to work overtime in cold weather. Don't worry about overtime, customer, remember to have a good weekend!

39. I haven't been in touch for a long time, and my thoughts are growing. Although I am not with you, I care about you. Although there are not many words, every sentence tells the truth, and several numbers convey feelings, and concerns have always been in my heart. It's the weekend again, I wish you a leisurely mood!

40. Give you 50,000 yuan, health 1 10,000, happiness 1 10,000, peace 1 10,000, good luck 1 10,000, happiness 1 10,000, and red bricks 1 10,000. Hey, hey, build a beautiful castle yourself!

4 1, I drive thunder, I care about unlimited traffic, and I wish you a super-fast speed. I will download health, happiness, happiness, good luck and peace for you all your life. Contact me and send it to you when you have time!

42. The aroma and warmth of sesame sauce are not as good as my blessing; Sanjiu Weitai is as close as a friend, not as warm as my short message. I wish you a good mood every day!

43, the career is empty, the life is empty, and it will be crazy to think about it; The wallet is empty, the house is empty, so I have to go out to work; Love is empty, love is empty, and it is not easy to be single. Work hard!

44. I am a spider, so I will net you with health; If it is a big tree, it will cover you with happiness; If you are immortal, you will be protected by peace. But I am not, I can only wish you happiness with my heart!

45. I specially dug a mine for you, in which there is a gold medal nomination, the heart is silver, the copper heart is always there, the aluminum wins, the potassium court is happy, the coal suffers, the tungsten worries, and the lead is endless!

46. Build a pyramid for you with blessings. The spire is health, followed by happiness, happiness, good luck, happiness and peace. And the basement, so you can run down and smile.

47. Dig a buried soil and plant my thoughts in it. 12345, a long red list with no flowers or grass. Who said that feelings are not taxed? I think it will cost you a dime.

48. As we meet for a long time, our friendship will naturally deepen. Although I have less contact, I miss more. I wish you a happier, happier and more moist life.

49, happy mentality: happy spirit, happy mood, full of fighting spirit, unremitting efforts, practice every day, you will become a successful hero, happy warrior!

50. I treat you to a big meal today. Happiness is dessert, happiness is the main course, and health is rice. If you want something else, please feel free. As long as you get what you want, safe and smooth, I will pay for everything!

5 1, work like a balloon, encourage yourself; Life should be like playing basketball, giving yourself flexibility; Good health, like playing billiards, keep your position right. Friend, I wish you happiness!

52. This is a "Happy" brand short message, which is produced exclusively and of high quality. It has the effects of eliminating anxiety, relieving fatigue, prolonging life, eliminating diseases and disasters, and making money. One person gets it, and the whole family is happy.

53. Happiness binds you, and then throws you into the ocean of good luck, making you float, float and shake. May you be picked up by a man named Health, happy every day, and the wish of a safe life come true!

54. Friend, wash your troubles, cut all your troubles and throw them into the pot of wishful thinking. Let me light the fire of blessing, and wish you 100% happiness, happiness and beauty, without discount!

55. A timid patient was pushed into the operating room. He asked doctors and nurses to take off their masks. The doctor said no, it's against the rules. As soon as the patient heard it, he said, don't lie to me, because I'm afraid I'll recognize him if something happens.

56. Now cockroaches are too rampant, spreading germs and ruining food; Thirty-six plans are the best policy, and the honey plan is the best; Let's brew the mood first, and vaguely call out: Zhang Lang! It must have fainted with joy, so you took the opportunity to cut its belly!

57. I will be glad to receive your message; I will be surprised to hear your voice; Thank you for giving me selfless spiritual encouragement. The problem is that I am mainly in material poverty now. I think this problem will be solved if you invite me to dinner.

58. No matter how red the flowers are, they also need green leaves. No matter how powerful a bird's wings are, it needs the help of air. No matter how white the teeth are, they need to be as close as lips and teeth, even if flowers are inserted in cow dung. I said, how can my flowers and plants live without you as fertilizer?

59. Happy New Year! You can't stand it without it! My wife won't let me! I secretly miss you! Kissing in the dead of night makes my heart itch, dear you! Wuliangye you

60, the New Year, send you a pair of couplets! The first part: eat what you should eat, drink what you should drink, and don't take it personally. Bottom line: Take a bath and look at your watch. One second is very comfortable. Horizontal batch: Just be happy!

6 1, I will remember the beautiful scenery, I will miss the beautiful season, I will cherish the beautiful information, I will cherish my good friends, I will keep my beautiful smile, I will give you my best wishes and wish you a happy weekend!

62. The breeze is blowing, the spring is warm in March, the grass grows in the south of the Yangtze River, the water in the north of the Yangtze River is hot, the plum blossoms are fragrant outside the ridge, and the willows are soft. It's time to go for an outing and find incense. Actually, what I want to say is ... when will you invite me to dinner?

63. It's really tiring to be alive: you have to queue up when you get on the bus, you have to suffer if you love you, eating is tasteless, drinking is easy to get drunk, and you have to pay taxes when you earn money! Even texting pigs costs money! I wish you a happy new year.

64. The reporter asked the soldier, what inspired you to be so brave? The third-class hero said: Fight for the motherland! Second-class hero: They have occupied our house and women! First-class hero: the company commander issued a bulletproof vest, only to know that it was a cotton-padded jacket afterwards.

65. There is a slight breeze in the silent morning. Slight breeze with a hint of coolness, coolness with my gentle greetings! May my greetings eliminate your summer heat and bring you a good mood all day!

66. In class, you are the boss; On occupation, you are a white-collar worker; On ability, you are the backbone; As far as talent is concerned, you are an elite. Therefore, we all sincerely praise you: old, white, bone and refined! Hahaha ... Happy Spring Festival!

67. A busy life will only waste time. I always keep my heart in my heart about my friends. On this beautiful and pleasant day, have a nice weekend!

Every day, I have a dream. When you receive my blessing, you will be very happy. A day's troubles can be eliminated. You sleep like a pig, sweet as milk, and wake up in the morning to see a beautiful sunrise. Good night, let the dream begin to enter.

69. In my dream, a fairy said to me, "Steady, accurate, ruthless and patient", which I never understood. It was not until I took the train that I realized the true meaning. I pass on the proverb to you, and wish you a seat when you go home for the New Year! Happy new year.

70. I'll give you a gift with the heaviest amount of feces since there was feces. You will eat a catty and be full. If you feel that the amount of feces is not enough, please help yourself.

7 1, May Day Golden Week! Value-for-money luxury tour, tractor pick-up, mountain climbing tour of Beijiang River, taro digging, sweet potato eating and chicken shit picking! It only costs ten yuan to enter the five-star cowshed (hotel)! Sign up quickly!

72. Don't panic when you meet a dog on the road. Fight it bravely. There will only be three results: first, you win, you are better than the dog; Second, if you lose, you are even worse than a dog; Third, you are even. You are like a dog.

73. Butterflies complain that bees have big bellies. There are so many sweet words in it that you just don't tell me. How irritating! Bees complain about butterflies, wearing exotic flowers and grasses, and the two antennas on their heads are so long that they just don't send me messages. I'm bored to death!

74, love tips, seven commandments after meals: one quit smoking, two quit eating fruit immediately, three quit relaxing, drinking tea immediately under temptation, five quit walking in vain, six quit taking a bath immediately, and seven quit sleeping immediately! Bajie: Do you remember?

75. After so many years, do you know how hard it is for me to find you? I traveled all over the world just to find a face like yours. This is my business card. Welcome to my plastic surgery hospital at any time! Misleading experts

76, men do not pick up girls, psychological acid; Women are not soaked, very upset; There are girls who don't bubble, and there are labor camps; When you meet a girl, you go to pick up girls. Heaven is good.

77. Sister, sister, I love you and sing a love song for you. Whether it is cold or warm, it is happy or sad. I miss you in the toilet, so send a message.

78. Modern teachers are skilled in martial arts and can throw "darts". Teaching is a magic weapon, either homework or exams. You need money after the exam, and you can pawn it if you don't give it to anyone.

79. Men are 20 semi-finished products, 30 finished products, 40 fine products, 50 best products, 60 top products, 70 waste products and 80 souvenirs.

80. Take a break, be smart, have a bald head, have many ideas, and have a kind personality; Xiaoye is beautiful, mild-tempered, ordinary and blushes frequently.

8 1, China has been famous for its heavy drinking since ancient times. The girl lifted her legs and drank wine; Young men's legs are lifted, and gold seed wine; The old lady lifts her legs and Gu Jing salutes; As soon as the old man's legs are lifted, the holy spring will dry beer! You lift your legs, bitch!

82. In order to run first, the hair is streamlined; In order to win the first place in dance, I kept spinning like a top; In order to get the first place in the exam, I dare not pick up girls and make tea instead; See if you can hold back. SMS wishes you a good mood!

83. Africa is called a hacker when it comes to guests. Doing what you like is called love. Expressing your feelings is called * * *. Vomiting after drinking is called drunkenness. There are pigs like you, so they are called pigs!

84. Before going out this morning, please clear the brain cache from Monday to Friday, release the memory of the happy cortex of the brain, open the pop-up program of the working cortex of the brain and relax for two days. Have a nice weekend!

85. Busy work only reduces contact, but friends' thoughts are closer. A short message, a greeting, contains the real intention. Have a nice weekend!

86. Because expecting you is my spiritual sustenance, because I miss you and let me waste my time, because I miss you and let me work hard. My world is wonderful because of you. On weekends, you are the motivation of my work and the source of happiness.

87. The weasel calls the chicken: This weekend, I will drive you to karaoke in the evening, and then have a midnight snack. The chicken agreed. As a result, the chicken became a midnight snack for the weasel. I wish you a happy weekend when you read the short message, and be careful against wolves!

88. Get on the happy car, step on the happy accelerator, hold the steering wheel tightly, light up the happy car and set off for the weekend destination; Travel, it can dispel your boredom for a week; Have a nice weekend!

89. The mobile phone is shaking. It's for you. The screen is bright, which makes you bright; * * * rang, accompany you to relax; Text messages are sent, and friends care; Today is the weekend. Say hello. Have a nice weekend!

90. The summer heat is fading away, the cool breeze has arrived, the smell of maturity permeates the fruit fields, and the joy of autumn harvest is churning in the fields. We harvest not only maturity, but also the charm of the whole season! Happy weekend!

9 1, sleeping is an art, eating is an art, shopping is an art, in a happy weekend, no one can stop our pursuit of art! May your weekend life be full of art and happiness!

92. Send a beautiful weekend to make you feel happy, send a care to make you proud, send a youth to make you not old, send a dream to make you realize, send a friendship that doesn't ask for anything in return, and then send a peace!

93. Feel free and carefree; Casual and indifferent; Happy with fate; Be spontaneous and clear; Keep pace with the times and be calm; Follow one's inclinations and be aloof from things. The weekend is coming, and the blessing will never be casual. May you be happy with me.

94. After a long time, the face is easy to get old; When the pressure is high, the body will easily collapse; The distance is far away, and the feelings are easy to fade; When bored, the spirit is easy to wither. Send you a short message to relieve your worries, contact your feelings to relieve boredom, and have a good mood for the weekend.

95. The sky is blue, the sea is wide, and the beauty of life will never change; Clouds are blowing away, even on the other side, how lazy the weekend is; Forget the troubles, smile, the road of life is still very wide. I wish you a happy weekend and happiness will last forever!

96. When the sky is tired, give up the sun and choose the moon and stars. Flowers are tired and give up the beautiful choice of fruit. You are tired after a busy week. I hope my greetings can drive away your fatigue for a week! Have a nice weekend!

97. A meteor streaked across the sky. I ask it to bring you some blessings. Who knows it actually said: I am doing great things. How dare you ask me for such a small thing? Alas, I have no choice but to send you a short message: it's the weekend, remember to be happy!

98. Happy every day, smile every day, smooth every day, don't worry, think of you all the time, think of your heart every day, wish you a good mood all the time, I will send you a text message, you laugh, and you are the most beautiful at the weekend.

99. It is said that if you receive a blessing this summer, your ideal will grow in spring and summer. Even if it is hot in summer, it will grow like a summer flower. Therefore, I send my warmest wishes to you for a happy summer. Have a nice weekend!

100, decadence and depression can only make life haggard and emaciated like autumn leaves. Pat the dirt on your body and look at the road in the distance. No matter whether it is full of thorns or smooth roads, you should face it with a smile and keep going. The weekend is coming, be happy.

10 1, the breeze blows gently, clouds fly gently, thoughts follow gently, friendship chases gently, greetings accompany gently. May you not be drunk after drinking, not tired from work, calm and happy, and double your happiness. A bitter summer is not bitter, but a happy weekend.

102, it's not hard to run around for a living; Keep healthy and add clothes in time in cold weather; Cherish friendship and keep in touch with friends often, so as not to be unfamiliar; The weekend has come again, friendship has been there, and text messages have emerged one after another. I only wish my friends good health.

Finishing: zhl20 1704