Are there any disgusting jokes?

1. You don't love me. A couple was caught by a savage in the mountains and said that they would let you go if they ate each other's shit. The lover did it. On the way home, the woman cried. The man asked her why. The woman said sadly: you don't love me, otherwise you wouldn't pull so much. 2. cereal gets up in the morning. My brother saw a bottle on the table with "cereal" in it, so he ate it for breakfast. At this time, my brother came back from morning exercise, washed and combed, sat at the table for pedicure, and suddenly asked my brother, have you seen the bottle I put on the table? Where did I save it? The doctor checked and said, "It's very simple. Get on the bed! Then the doctor took out a wooden stick and gave the builder a good ass with all his strength. Grab another builder and throw it in the toilet! The builder wailed for a long time, and gradually his voice dropped and he gave a happy laugh. The contented builder went out of the toilet and thanked the doctor. The doctor made a prescription and asked the builder to get the medicine. As a result, he got a big bag of toilet paper. The female pharmacist kindly told him: "The doctor asked me to tell you to use toilet paper instead of cement bags after going to the toilet. It doesn't matter if bears and rabbits shit in the forest. The bear asked the rabbit, "Does it matter if the hair is on the stool?" The rabbit replied, "It doesn't matter." So the bear wiped his ass with a rabbit. 5. Eat some warm Chinese New Year. Two poor beggars don't want to eat all day. At midnight, they were cold and hungry. The older one said, "Brother, this is not good. It won't last long. Let's go out and find something to eat. " Two people came to the door of a restaurant, just as a group of people came out drunk, one man threw up in the street with a "wow" and two beggars scrambled to eat. Just after eating, the little one said to another person, "Big Brother, you just ate a fly." The older one spat out what he had just eaten with a "wow". Just as he spat, his brother quickly opened his mouth and drank it all at once, without spoiling it. The older man asked, "What are you doing?" The man replied, "Brother, I have a bad stomach. I need something hot." 6. I am a principled winter, two beggars wandering the streets. "I'm so hungry, I feel like I can eat a cow now!" Beggar a said. "Me too. I'm starving. If the pole in front of us can eat, I can definitely eat from the root to the top. " Beggar b is not to be outdone. They passed a pub, and I don't know who was drunk in the pub. Maybe the wind cooled the stomach and left vomit in front of the pub. Two beggars stared blankly at the vomit. "To tell you the truth, I really want to eat this vomit." Beggar A just said. "I'm hungry too, but that's someone else's vomit. It's disgusting. " Beggar b is a little embarrassed. "I don't care, do you eat or not?" , a beggar asked. "It's disgusting. If you don't eat, you will be a beggar! " Beggar b is righteous and upright. "Can I eat alone? ! "After that, Beggar A leaned down and began to eat vomit. After a while, beggar A finished eating, and the two continued to stroll forward. It may be the winter. The vomit is too cold. Beggar A's stomach seemed a little overwhelmed, but he still held back, but it was vomit after all. Beggar a can't help feeling sick at the thought. Beggar B is even more hungry and has some regrets. After a while, beggar A couldn't help it. "Wow ... wow ..." Beggar A also vomited. At this time, beggar B quickly leaned down and began to eat the vomit of beggar A. "Hey, hey, aren't you sick?" Why do you also eat vomit? " Beggar a asked puzzled. "Idiot, I have principles. I only eat spicy food. Besides, isn't this stall more than that just now? " Beggar b said without looking up. 7. You were lucky when you went shopping. You suddenly feel a stomachache, so you walk into the hot pot restaurant on the corner 199 and want to borrow a toilet. But I can't find it on the first floor. So I ran to the second floor, where it was still being renovated. Nothing, but I found a toilet door, which said "Trouble to be repaired, please don't use it". I really did it. ! Then I went downstairs and found no one. Strangely, it was dinner time and there were all guests downstairs. Why did people go to that building at once? Even the waiter and receptionist were gone ... so I approached the bar and asked, "Is anyone there?" Why is there no one? At this moment, I saw a waiter come out from under the bar and said, "weren't you there when shit fell from the ceiling and hit the electric fan just now?" You are very lucky ... 8. Seeing a doctor Lisa is the financial director of a big company, and she has already had a successful career in her prime. It stands to reason that she should be happy; But the problem of farting has worsened recently, so Lisa was very upset and finally decided to see a doctor. "Doctor, my problem is getting more and more difficult to control. In the elevator, at the banquet, at the press conference, at the board meeting, I let it go ... basically, I let it go as soon as I had it. It's hard to resist, doctor. You must help me! " Lisa complained to the doctor. "What is the general reaction of people around you?" The doctor asked. "By the way, I forgot to tell you that I am really lucky. Although I often put it in crowded places, it is silent and tasteless ... To tell the truth, I just put one on, didn't you hear the sound? You don't smell it, do you? Oh, sorry, I just came here, and there is another one, but it doesn't matter. " Lisa blushed and explained. After hearing this, the doctor quickly wrote a prescription and handed it to Lisa. "Hey? Why do you prescribe nasal drops? Do I need this? " Lisa asked suspiciously after reading the prescription. "Yes, first, I have to repair your nose, then your ears, and finally ... you know what I mean." The doctor replied with some suffocation. 9. False Eye A man made a bet with him and said, "I can bite my eyes with my teeth." If others don't believe me, bet a hundred dollars. This man has an artificial eye. He took it off, put it in his mouth and proudly took the money. But when I got carried away, I accidentally swallowed the artificial eye! He was in a hurry to go to the hospital to find a laryngologist. The doctor examined him and said, "hey, it fell into his stomach." Please go to the doctor who treats stomach trouble. " When I got there, the doctor checked it and said, "You've reached the intestines. Please find another doctor. " When I arrived at the doctor who treated the intestines, the doctor said, "Well, go down and go to the anorectal department." The anorectal doctor wears a pair of glasses and is very enthusiastic. He said, "Young man, lie here and take off your pants." As the young man said, the doctor leaned down and looked at it carefully. He dropped his glasses and exclaimed, "Oh, my God! I've been looking at my ass all my life. Why is my ass looking at me today? ! "First, eating as a child was dishonest. In order to educate me, an old farmer said to me: 60 years of suffering, no food to eat, I have never thrown away my nose. Second, the boss and the second child are flying, and the second child is airsick and keeps vomiting. A bag is full, so the boss has to get it. When he came back, he found that the whole plane was vomiting. The boss asked the reason, and the second child said, "I think this bag is full, so I had to drink half of it and throw up." 3. A man and a friend went to visit his grandmother. While he was talking to his grandmother, his friends began to eat peanuts on the coffee table and ate them all. When they left, his friend said to his grandmother, "Thank you for the peanuts." Grandma responded, "Oh! Hmm! Alas! Because all my teeth have fallen out, I can only suck out the chocolate. Old, cough. . . 4. A rich man wants a servant. The topic of the interview is going to the toilet. The first few came out without washing their hands. So the rich man sent them away, and only one person washed his hands, so the rich man left him. But one day, the rich man found that he didn't wash his hands when he came out. The rich man asked him why. The servant replied, "I brought toilet paper today ..." 5. On this day, the hotel owner was patrolling the hall. A beggar came forward and said, "can the boss give me a toothpick?" "The boss gave him one and sent it away. After a while, another beggar came and asked for a toothpick. The boss thought, why do beggars want toothpicks instead of rice now? I also gave him one to send away, not too old, and another beggar came. The boss said to him, "Are you here to get a toothpick, too? The beggar said, "someone threw up, but I came late." The first two beggars ate everything they could eat, and now there is only soup left. "Can you give me a straw?" Six, the boss and the second went to the theater to see the play. When they saw that they were arguing about the plot development halfway, they made a bet. The boss pointed to a row of spittoons in front of him and said, "The loser should take a sip of what's there." Unfortunately, the boss lost and took a sip with a frown. The two went on to bet on the next plot. This time, the second child lost. I saw the second child pick up the spittoon and swallow fifteen mouthfuls in one gulp. Surprised and envious, the boss said to the second child, "You are so amazing that you can even drink fifteen mouthfuls!" " "The second one shook his head." No, I want to drink. The sputum in that spittoon is too thick. I really can't stop biting! ""A man saw a store having a big sale and went in. "What do you want?" "I want to buy dog food." "We have a rule that you must prove that you have a dog." "Where is such a rule?" "This is the case with goods on sale." The man has been grinding with the salesman for a long time, but the salesman still refuses to sell it to him. No way, the man had to go home and bring the dog before buying dog food. A few days later, the man went to this store to buy cat food. "Give me two boxes of cat food." "We have a rule that you must prove that you have a cat." It was the same shop assistant, and the man dawdled with her for a long time. As a result, he still has to go home and take the cat to buy cat food. A few days later, the man came to the shop with a big cardboard box with a hole and found the salesman. "What do you want?" "Just put your hand in and you'll know." The salesman put his hand in: "What is it? Very sticky. " "I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper." Eight, some people like the dish "spicy vermicelli pot" very much. Once, he went to a restaurant and ordered this dish again. But the waiter told him that the dish was sold out. "Is it really sold out?" He asked in disappointment. "Sir, really sold out. You see, the last one was sold to the gentleman at that table. " The waiter replied. According to the waiter's instructions, the man saw a very decent gentleman sitting next to him. The gentleman's food has been eaten almost, but the "spicy vermicelli pot" is still full. The man felt that a gentleman had wasted delicious food, so he went up to the gentleman and pointed to the "spicy vermicelli pot" and politely asked, "Sir, do you want more?" The gentleman shook his head gracefully. So the man immediately sat down, picked up the spoon and wolfed it down. After a while, he swallowed half. Suddenly, he found a little mouse lying at the bottom of the casserole with all its hair. In a fit of nausea, the man vomited all the fans he had eaten back into the casserole. When he had a stomachache there, the gentleman looked at him sympathetically and said, "It's disgusting, isn't it?" I was just the same.