What is the psychology of colleagues who often don't attend unit group gatherings?

Tell a rare real case in the system. I know a man, a clerk, but he holds an important position and usually has intensive contact with people. He has little desire to communicate and no desire for promotion. He is very willing to work and live in an ordinary way. This person is normal, not withdrawn or eccentric, lives in sunshine, often goes to exercise and goes out to play, and is not an otaku type.

Strangely, near middle age, he has no circle of friends, no comrades-in-arms, no classmates, or even any good people, even one. In addition to commuting and normal contact with people all day, I am surrounded by children and family, do not smoke, sing karaoke, play cards and rarely drink. I only play mobile games occasionally, rarely attend banquets and banquets, and rarely go. For more than ten years, people have known his nature. In the real society, such people are really rare, and there is no good face and vanity that others often have. I think he can be described in one sentence, "he is born without desire and desire." In a word, he has no rare desire to be promoted and made a fortune and pursue fame and profit within the system. Someone talked to him, but in fact, he knows everything, but he just feels uninterested.

One more thing, this one has always been very young, and it is said that it is a natural scheming. This should have something to do with not being bound by the rules within the system, not being disturbed by the troubles of officialdom, and having little pressure on life. This is a living detached person.

However, there are preconditions. Fortunately, because of the elders, the family conditions are not bad, and to a certain extent, life is carefree. Otherwise, such a character has long been defeated by material life, and a relatively superior environment has shaped a detached individual.

In any unit, there will be colleagues who don't often attend group gatherings. In view of this phenomenon, the analysis is as follows:

First, some colleagues are introverted and unsociable, and are unwilling to attend such parties.

I have a former colleague who is like this. Once at a party, everyone was talking and laughing, but he sat there alone, not talking, holding a mobile phone in his hand, which was particularly boring and out of place with the surrounding environment. Later, when colleagues got together again, he basically stopped attending.

Such a colleague's personality can be understood without attending the party.

Second, I have my own plans and don't want to waste time at the party. I want to recharge my batteries in my spare time.

Such colleagues have a strong sense of purpose and know what they should do at present. Group gatherings, in their view, are mostly ineffective social activities. Just do your job at ordinary times, there is no need to waste a lot of time on group gatherings.

Such colleagues have strong learning ability and want to use all their spare time to learn various skills, become slash youth and create more possibilities for future career development.

Life is stressful and I want to earn some extra money after work.

Recently, a friend complained bitterly to me:

Since I bought a house this year, the pressure of life has suddenly increased. He has a cheerful personality. He used to go to work parties, but now he hardly goes.

According to him, he will secretly work part-time online during working hours. After work at five o'clock in the afternoon, he went to deliver takeout again until ten o'clock in the evening.

It's already eleven o'clock at night every time I get home. I'm usually too busy to have dinner with my family, so I don't have time to have a group dinner.

Like my friend, under the pressure of life, I have no intention of attending group gatherings. After all, it is more important to live hard and lighten the burden than to have a party.

Third, we should attend the party properly. Colleagues who don't often attend parties will think you are very different and unsociable. Do it once or twice. If you don't attend every time, you will inadvertently distance yourself from your colleagues, and even gradually lose their trust and goodwill.

In addition, attending the party is also an excellent opportunity to learn all kinds of information about the company. Sometimes some important information is learned through parties. For example, if a supervisor wants to leave, you know in advance that if you are interested in this position, you can make full preparations in advance.

In our decades of professional life, it is necessary to attend parties properly for whatever reason. If you really can't attend, explain why, and everyone will understand.

Of course, if colleagues insist on not attending group gatherings, there is no need to overestimate them. Everyone has his own way of life.

I hope the above analysis is helpful to the subject.

The unit's little moxa has never participated in collective activities, nor does she advocate organizing any activities. Colleagues privately say that Xiao Ai is conceited. Xiao Ai sometimes meets his colleagues and asks him this question, but Xiao Ai never answers directly. The new leader of the unit came, and she must be invited to participate in the activities at the party, but she was finally sent to the hospital.

Xiao Ai works diligently and practically in the unit, and there is no problem in speaking, handling affairs and cooperating with colleagues at ordinary times. But one thing, everyone can't figure it out. When Xiao Ai has something to invite or get together with his colleagues, Xiao Ai will decline it appropriately and never see him attend.

Colleagues all think that Xiao Ai is different and can't get along with ordinary colleagues. At first, everyone talked about Xiao Ai in private. Later, there was a special case of deliberately discussing that Xiao Ai didn't get along with everyone. When Xiao Ai heard it, she pretended not to hear it and walked past her colleagues, leaving several colleagues dumbfounded.

Colleagues have a lot of speculation about Xiao Ai. Some think that Xiao Ai is a second generation, and may not want to have more life intersections with colleagues, but just want to maintain a working relationship. Some people think that Xiao Ai's personality is flawed, and there are obstacles in communicating with colleagues. Although there are many speculations, colleagues feel that Xiao Ai has no other shortcomings in his work.

Careful colleagues also found some strange things about Xiao Ai. When they talked about it, everyone found that Xiao Ai was really intriguing in many places.

Our unit has its own canteen, and employees are subsidized in the canteen. It doesn't cost the staff much, but Xiao Ai never eats in the canteen. She always brings her own lunch box and eats it in the office every day when the work is hot.

Xiao Ai often wears a mask to work. Xiao Ai entered the office in the morning, took off her mask and got off work. She had to wear a mask to leave the office. There was no epidemic at that time. Everyone thinks that Xiao Ai's habit is very strange, and speculates that Xiao Ai must be a neat freak.

Iverson has been keeping a small humidifier on the table. When the temperature in the office is high, he will turn on the humidifier, and there is a stream of steam floating around his desk.

There is another thing that makes colleagues think that Xiao Ai is a little too much. Iverson never sweeps the floor in the office. When someone wants to sweep the floor, she will definitely put on a mask or leave the office and return to the office about half an hour later.

However, everyone appreciates one thing about Xiao Ai. Xiao Ai likes mopping the floor in the office best. She often mops the office floor clean and sometimes sprinkles water on the office floor. The office is always cool and pleasant.

Colleagues are looking at a little strange little moxa, working strangely around them, curious about the strangeness in her life. Xiao Ai lives in the strange eyes of his colleagues, but he takes these strange details to the extreme and never relaxes.

The new leader of the unit doesn't know much about the situation in Xiao Ai, and urges colleagues to go to collective activities together. Xiao Ai also had to take part in the activity, because the leader had just arrived, and there was no good reason to refuse the leader.

Little moxa came to the hotel with strange eyes from her colleagues. When her colleague entered the hotel restaurant, she just sat down with her colleague and took off her mask. Little moxa suddenly turned pale and had difficulty breathing. Her colleagues quickly raised too many cooks and sent her to the hospital.

After receiving emergency treatment in the hospital for half an hour, Xiao Ai returned to normal. Xiao Ai's parents rushed to the hospital after receiving the phone call, thanked their colleagues together with Xiao Ai, and repeatedly said that they had disturbed their colleagues' party.

Colleagues all know that Xiao Ai suffers from severe asthma, and any environmental discomfort will cause allergic reactions and violent attacks in Xiao Ai. Iverson has always lived and worked carefully, never letting any allergic factors appear around him.

Xiao Ai has always been afraid to participate in the collective activities of colleagues, for fear that the onset of illness will affect the interest of colleagues' activities and frighten colleagues.

Colleagues all felt that they didn't know enough about Xiao Ai before, and they also had various speculations and complaints about Xiao Ai. Everyone understands Xiao Ai's painstaking efforts. Everyone has a little privacy. Who doesn't want to keep a good image in front of colleagues?

I think everyone makes different decisions because of their different views. Many people have different ideas about life, family and work. Take work as an example. Some workaholics regard work as their whole life, but for some people, work is dispensable, and work and life are separated. After all, when signing the labor agreement, it was not signed in. So it is reasonable and legal for people to do so, and there is nothing to criticize.

So what do his colleagues who don't like to attend group parties think? It's just that everyone has a different opinion.

Some people, who think it's nothing to attend a group party, have no intention to join the group and don't like to participate in such activities, may think that work is work and party is a party, and the two have nothing to do, as long as they finish the work at hand. This kind of person belongs to the person who separates work from work. It is also a choice. I think we should respect others' choices and there is no need to force others to do anything.

After all, people are different. Each has its own choice, which is understandable. There is no right or wrong, and don't impose your will on others. This is actually a boring person and difficult to please.

A few days ago, a net article brushed a circle of friends. The company fired the newcomer who didn't eat with his colleagues. It is considered that this employee does not have lunch with his colleagues, which shows that he has no team spirit and is incompatible with corporate culture. Personally, I think this is a mountain out of a molehill. This company is still permeated with outdated and backward interpersonal culture.

The future workplace will gradually be "decentralized". According to the development of internet plus and artificial intelligence, will there be a bunch of people eating together in the future company? Perhaps in the future workplace ecology, everyone is an equal individual. I input information, and people are not your business. Everyone is a fish swimming in the ocean of information.

I am in charge of team building in the company, and I am also facing the dilemma of team building. For example, it used to be used for group building on Saturday and Sunday, and about one-third of the people participated. Many people will never take part in group activities under various excuses. Later, I changed my mind, that is, I organized a group building on Friday, which ended at 4 pm and I could go home early. Two thirds of the people were present. Later, I added that sporting goods are distributed every time I engage in activities, but in the end, they are distributed on the spot. Those who don't go or leave early don't go. In this way, the number of participants reached three quarters. And a quarter will never participate.

So, what kind of psychology do people who don't participate in group activities have?

First, people who are disappointed in the company.

These people, who have been treated unfairly, are desperate and resentful of the company, but there is nothing they can do. Let's regard work as a tool to support our families. They never take part in group activities, only do their job well, do not cause trouble and are not enthusiastic. Not participating in group activities is also their silent protest.

Second, people with independent personalities.

This kind of people, with strong ability, tense interpersonal relationship, ignore no one, independent personality, unpopular promotion and salary increase, and don't love the company. Just talk about facts, not feelings. This kind of people are used to being alone, keeping their own work and rest habits, and rarely taking part in group activities.

Third, objective factors such as family factors. Many companies organize league construction, either at night or on weekends. Some people have many things at home, they have to take care of children and the elderly at night, and they have to tutor their children at weekends and accompany them to the hospital. Where there is time, where there is mood, accompany things to jump, eat and drink.

Fourth, people who are not sociable.

Some colleagues, by nature, don't like excitement, socializing and noisy group activities. This kind of person likes to be quiet and alone, and likes to do what he likes. Why do you want to wronged them to participate in the group construction that they don't like? Some people like to socialize, others are crazy. The more people, the higher the status. Some people are just the opposite. Group activities make them uncomfortable.

Fifth, people who are sensitive to inferiority.

Some colleagues like to have parties, group building, get together, show off, and be applauded and admired by everyone. Some people are naturally inferior and sensitive. What if there is a group activity that embarrasses him? What if I am laughed at by my colleagues? He is so sensitive to other people's laughter that he thinks his colleagues are mocking him. So they deliberately avoid group activities.

In short, we should not take group activities too seriously, and those who like to participate may not have team consciousness; Those who don't like to participate may not have team spirit. Maybe those who give silently are just those who work silently and bury their heads in things. It is meaningless to analyze people's psychology. The workplace is the workplace. Everything is measured by ability, performance and emotional intelligence. Whether to participate in group activities is only a small aspect. Don't jump to conclusions

It is common for leaders to be forced to participate in league building. If you can't refuse, you will be labeled as "insufficient integration with the team". This kind of thing really makes people in the workplace feel bad. League building itself is a voluntary participation. From the perspective of human rights, employees have the right to make their own choices. But in the workplace, it seems that this choice has been deprived. Today, let's talk about why some colleagues just don't like to participate in league construction.

1. Employees think that group building is a waste of time, which is not helpful for team integration, and also takes up a lot of their own private time or rest time. 2. Employees think that league building is just a form, and the affection between colleagues is not as deep as imagined, which dilutes the human feelings in the workplace. 3. If the league building is cancelled and the funds are subsidized to the employees, I will support it with both hands. Get along with many colleagues. Every time a department or unit has a dinner, one or two people often don't attend the dinner, and the reasons are different every time. To sum up, these people who often don't come to the party have these characteristics:

First, I am not talkative and introverted.

Introverts are not used to the lively party environment. The party is a kind of torture for them. They have little communication with colleagues on weekdays and can't let go of the party. I don't know who to talk to, so these people usually don't go to dinner.

Second, there are contradictions with colleagues or leaders.

There was a colleague who was like this before, and his personality was very small. Colleagues and leaders inadvertently offended her. She can always remember that when she sees someone who has offended her, she will not give her a good face. And I don't go to the party at all, because I don't want to see people who have problems with me.

Third, people affected by family.

Sometimes dinner parties will stay up late, and even colleagues will drink a lot. People with family or children at home often attend dinner parties because they have to go home to help look after the children. People who value family or life don't often attend dinner parties.

The reunion dinner is a good thing, but don't take it too seriously. Everyone has his own life. People who don't go to dinner are not necessarily mentally ill, so you don't have to worry.

This is normal. Some people in the unit are keen to attend all kinds of parties, like to be lively and show off. They are indispensable for every speech, singing and dancing. At the dinner party, they won't stop until they get drunk. But some people like to be quiet, unless the national flag is raised and important meetings are held. He thinks some parties are really boring, so it is better to read books or do housework at home. So some parties can be pushed and avoided. I think people who don't attend parties are psychologically normal and their IQ is not worse than others. It's just that I'd better get down to business when I have time to drink at that party.

In the unit, colleagues who often do not attend group gatherings are generally mainly these three types of people:

1, I don't like it.

This kind of people have a natural rejection of group gatherings. People with this kind of psychological idea are generally introverted, or have been used to a comfortable life since childhood. Even if you grow up and enter the workplace, you will not change yourself to cater to others.

In addition, this kind of person's family situation is generally good, his work is good or not, and his salary is not high, which has little influence on him, so you can get together whenever you like, you like to come, I like to come, and everyone is irrelevant.

2. Pull over.

It's not hard to understand. Almost any unit has several colleagues, and the leaders don't like them, and neither do colleagues. Such people have a weak sense of existence in the unit. No one will think of them even if they don't attend the reunion. In the long run, they will only be marginalized.

But this kind of person is generally depressed, because he is marginalized, probably not because of his personality, but because he said something wrong or offended someone, so once this kind of person takes the initiative to make some changes, it will not be so difficult to reintegrate into the reunion circle.

3. Other objective reasons.

In addition to the above reasons, I think there is another possibility for people who are often absent from group meetings, and that is because some objective factors really can't go to the party every time. For example, parents at home need to go home to take care of their children after work.

For this kind of colleague, I suggest you give full understanding. After all, who has no special circumstances? You can't exclude people or talk to them just because they can't attend the group meeting. Even if you take the initiative to say hello, maybe they will arrange a party to thank you when they are finished.

In a word, for those colleagues who often don't attend group gatherings, I think they really can't attend because of their personality, marginalization or objective factors.

Finally, I want to say that since we can become colleagues, it is actually a kind of fate, so I think that for introverted colleagues, I suggest you enlighten them more, for marginalized colleagues, you should take the initiative to ask questions, and for colleagues with objective reasons, you can also take the initiative to help. These things may be more meaningful than attending group gatherings!

First, people who hate hypocrisy and pursue truth.

I don't want to pretend to talk to others, and I don't want to pretend that my feelings are stronger than gold with my unfamiliar or annoying colleagues; Flatter up to familiar or unfamiliar leaders; Being loyal to the leader and making promises that can never be fulfilled shows gratitude without kindness. Clowns generally make everyone happy, Dionysus generally fights for wine, and the Virgin generally takes care of everyone's emotions. In fact, I just want to be myself, without flattery, hypocrisy and deliberate. I say what I want to say and do what I want, without worrying about offending or hurting others, without speculating and pleasing others with a smart heart, just be myself.

Second, people who distinguish between public and private and adhere to principles.

Work and life are completely separated, and colleagues and friends are clearly defined. I don't want to confuse work and life. Insist on being a good employee of the company and work hard; Be a good family at home, warm and relaxed. You need to be nervous and careful in the company to avoid making mistakes. At home, you can relax your nerves, try boldly, and not be afraid of harshness. If they go to the company party, they will be full of doubts and don't know how to deal with these non-public and non-private, mixed public and private things. As serious as work, you will be said to be serious, indifferent and unenthusiastic; Relax at home. How dare you? What if I accidentally said the wrong thing and got fired with a grudge? I can't understand and handle my role well. Fortunately, I won't go.