10 absolutely hilarious jokes to coax girls.

In junior high school, I danced rubber bands with my female classmates during recess. Jumping and jumping, I suddenly wanted to put P, but at this time, the boy I had a crush on for a long time happened to pass by, and I tried to hold back this P. As a result, every time I finished jumping, I ran out with 1/5 P, and my voice was sharp and short until I finished, and there was a sound of ***5. . . . . .

When I was in college, I skipped a horrible group dance, which required violent actions such as squatting quickly and lifting my legs high. Everyone can't practice for a few days. They are all green, and some leg muscles are still strained. I was seriously injured.

In the afternoon, I went to class. On the third floor, I couldn't lift a leg at all, so I went up hard and simply sent that leg up. Walking, I heard a girl at the back say to her boyfriend, "Schools in big cities are more formal. In our hometown, numb children simply can't go to school. "

I feel dizzy ...

Yesterday's visit to the countryside really made me feel very proud!

The two of us were watching the crops grow on the way in the field that day, and we saw a group of foreigners gesticulating around a local farmer from a distance. Out of curiosity, I quietly walked not far behind them to hear what they said.

Those foreigners (probably Americans), while turning over a pamphlet similar to an English-Chinese dictionary, read in very nonstandard Chinese: I, how did I get there, the periphery. .....

I think, oh, I think I'm asking for directions. I wonder what our peasant brothers will say when they see foreigners.

The peasant brothers looked blank. I thought to myself, alas, eldest brother's comprehension ability is too low.

When foreigners see that he doesn't understand, they are even more anxious: we, me, everyone, go, go, want. .....

The farmer's brother still looks blank. ...

Foreigners are more anxious and start stamping their feet and sweating. ...

At this time, this 50-year-old farmer said something to this group of dancing Americans, which made me feel that I gained the most from going to the countryside this time: Can you speak English?

After arranging the seats, only one pair of deskmates are men, and the teacher actually said to them, "Just make do, why don't gentlemen marry!" " .。 The whole class was dumbfounded .

This is a super classic. In high school, the couple and their classmates Z (female) and Q (male) were put on the first table at the door and the last table diagonally opposite by the teacher, but the couple still handed notes every day, because it was too far away, so they used to throw them. One day, I don't know why it's so inch. Q threw a piece of paper "sou" in the past, just as our teacher came in and hit the teacher directly. The teacher picked up the paper and gave Q a good kick. He opened the paper. "Let you live every day. Show me what it has passed!" " Just read it.

That's what the note says

"Z, you said that the two of us pass notes like this every day, and it will be fun to hit the teacher one day."

Two students in the department were fighting, and the responsibility was entirely on the one who hit them. They were asked to make a review at the grade meeting. The bad guy wrote a long self-criticism, referring to the details of the fight, saying: We were having dinner at that time, and we had an argument over a problem. As a student cadre, I am patient and polite to him based on the principle of seeking truth from facts. However, he suddenly pointed a bright thing at me, and I couldn't restrain my inner indignation any longer ... The bad guy was silent for a few seconds and said, rice spoon.

Tell me about my mother. Once she went to the bank to withdraw money. On the way, she took a kitchen knife to sharpen the knife in the vegetable market. After grinding the knife first, she took a cold and shiny kitchen knife and went straight into the bank ... The kitchen knife didn't even have a bag or anything, so she took the kitchen knife and walked into the bank, then put the knife on the counter and said, "Take the money!" ..... Afterwards, she boasted to my dad and me that the ladies in the bank were all green. ...

A brother in our dormitory keeps a cactus.

Later, he put the cactus on the windowsill, which was the special place where he hung his socks. He said he put it there to purify the air.

A week later, the cactus was rotten.

On the way to school with several classmates, classmate A accidentally stepped on a horse gourd cover and turned it over. Fortunately, we caught him in time, but his feet were still soaked in BB in the horse gourd. ...

After I lifted him up, I observed the horse gourd cover. This horse gourd is built near my home. It's okay to walk past it often. I tried to step on it with one foot and didn't turn it over. I have neither feet.

I said curiously to my classmates who were rubbing BB on their feet: You don't know how long it is. You can't turn it if I step on it.

Then he jumped twice and the lid of the horse gourd suddenly turned over. . . .

No one will catch me because other students are cleaning A's shoes. . .

There was a serious traffic jam on a highway in the United States. A man came to a driver's window and said: terrorists hijacked Bush and demanded $654.38 million. If they don't give it, they will light the gasoline on Bush. I'm here to raise money. "The driver asked," How much has been raised now? " The man replied, "60 lighters. "

The leader of the unit is young, but he knows nothing about computers. One day, he came back from training in other places and asked Xiao Wang to apply for an email address. After a while, he asked if the application was ready. Xiao Wang agreed, and he immediately said: Then copy my email with a USB flash drive and install it on my computer.

Today, my friend bought a bottle of coke. When he opened the can, he saw a line saying that the bottle had a low shelf life. My friend turned the coke bottle upside down and all the coke dripped out. . . .

I have a classmate from Guangdong who pointed to an fried egg in the canteen one day and said, "Give me an fried egg." . . . Faint in the back

I remember an interesting story I heard before. The chaos in Guangzhou Railway Station is famous all over the country. A woman was walking beside the station, and a man tore off his necklace and ran away from behind. A young man saw it and wanted to chase it. The woman said, stop chasing. What he robbed me was fake, and I tore off his necklace. It's real gold.

I woke up in a daze in the morning and remembered that there was a meeting this morning. I ate breakfast in a hurry and left the house before my wife got up. I always felt uncomfortable with my shoes and socks along the way, as if I had entered a few stones, but I didn't have time to take off my shoes to see them. I finally started working, which is strange to say. I feel much more comfortable in socks, and my shoes are not particularly sour. The meeting was coming soon, so I didn't care too much. It's noon after the meeting. See if there are any missed calls on my mobile phone. It's my wife. Go back at once. "Hey, wife, I was in a meeting just now. What's the matter? " "Nothing, hehe, is the chocolate delicious?" "Chocolate" "Yes, you are still playing dumb with me! Hehe! " So I remembered that yesterday was Christmas Eve, so I remembered the socks that were put on the chair, so I remembered that those socks were always sour, so I remembered that they are not so sour now. . . . . .

The two men had a fierce argument before the game.

A excitedly said to B, "You are a piece of shit.

I will eat you! ! "……

I was just about to say I'm going to beat you ...