The influence of life and education on children

The companionship of parents is very important, because the environment created by parents in the family constitutes the child's acquired inheritance. Parents' responsibility is to provide their children with two "heritages": one is congenital inheritance; One is acquired inheritance.

Educators can be optimistic about education, but don't be so optimistic that they don't consider heredity. Heredity is very important. After the birth of the child, his "congenital inheritance" has been determined. Yao Minggao is because his parents are tall, not the result of Yao Ming's hard growth. Don't hate iron for not turning into steel. Iron has its uses, and so does steel. Don't think that the ugly duckling turned into a white swan is the result of the ugly duckling's hard study. The real reason is that the ugly duckling's mother gave birth to a swan egg instead of a duck egg.

However, after the child is born, parents can still do a lot of things, which can make the child better accept "acquired inheritance". Paying attention to "acquired inheritance" means providing a family environment suitable for children's growth and raising the importance of family environment to a height similar to "inheritance".

First, the influence of parents' education and lifestyle on children.

Tell children stories, invite children to tell stories themselves-play with children-invite children to participate in family decision-making, do housework, repair or repair broken toys, furniture or clothes-the relationship between husband and wife affects children's personality. If husband and wife respect each other, children will learn to respect others from here-if there is no special difficulty, parents had better go home and have dinner with their children every day. Family values are established in the process of eating around the table. In order to cultivate the habit of going to bed early and getting up early, and keep exercising, it is best for the whole family to watch less TV and try to control the time for children to watch TV. There is a "little thing" watching TV at home, and there must be some "old things" watching TV at home.

The main responsibility of family education is to provide "acquired inheritance" for children. For children, the family environment is similar to the mother's uterus. The mother's uterus is the child's first palace, and the family environment is the child's second palace. The mission of parents is to provide a good family environment for their children. In fact, parents really don't have much to do, as long as they provide and maintain a good family environment for their children. To be a good parent is to be a family environmentalist.

If the family environment is good, the growth of children will be good; If the family environment is not good, the growth of children will be bad. If the family environment goes wrong, the child will become problem children. Sometimes, when a child is ill, it is not the child but the parents who need to take medicine.

1。 The influence of parents' educational methods on children

For parents, companionship is not only to "accompany you", but more importantly, to provide educational influence to children. Parents' responsibility is to always do three things with their children: first, tell stories to their children and invite them to tell stories themselves; The second is to play and play with children; The third is to invite children to participate in family decision-making, housework and the repair or repair of broken toys, furniture or clothes.

First, tell children stories and invite them to tell their own stories. Telling stories to children is an ancient tradition. Parents who never tell stories to their children are irresponsible parents. When we were young, we all grew up listening to stories told by our parents. Now, as parents of children, we should also bear this responsibility and let children listen to our stories. Stories can not only provide children with mainstream core values, but also enable children to establish the habit of reading and writing from listening to stories. The important task for parents to accompany their children is to let them learn to read independently as soon as possible, form the habit of lifelong reading as soon as possible, and form the habit of free imagination and free creation as soon as possible.

The ultimate result of telling and listening to children's stories is to make children become listeners, readers and authors. The benefits of making children listeners, readers and writers are not only to prepare for their "entrance", but more importantly, to let them have free thoughts and independent spirit. "As long as people are still studying, they will not completely degenerate. People who are completely degraded will not learn. " Similarly, as long as people are still writing, they will not be completely degraded, and people who are completely degraded will not write.

Second, play with children, play together. Children want their parents to tell him stories, and children want their parents to play games with him. In the process of listening to stories, children may understand the core values of the mainstream and learn to read and create. In the process of playing games, children may become ingenious, learn to respect competitors, learn to abide by the rules of the game, and learn to accept possible failures in the process of winning.

In addition to playing games with children, parents had better arrange opportunities to "play" with their children. The ways to play include taking children to relatives' homes and traveling far away together. After leaving the familiar family, children will become more independent on the road and destination of play because of strangeness. And because they are in a foreign land, children will learn to adapt to and understand the rules of public life.

Thirdly, parents should often invite their children to participate in family decision-making, housework and repair or repair broken toys, furniture or clothes.

Parents had better let their children participate in family decision-making as soon as possible, and don't let them become indifferent bystanders. In the process of participating in family decision-making, they should build their self-confidence and sense of responsibility, and let their children become independent thinkers and independent people. Educated parents are Voltaire: "I don't agree with you, but I will defend your right to speak to the death." From the day the child was born, he began to reason with the child and patiently asked for his advice. Don't expect children to learn to obey by beating and cursing. Because of killing chickens for monkeys, monkeys also learned to kill chickens.

Educated parents always listen to their children's voices patiently when they are very young. If parents take their 3-year-old children out to eat, even if the children don't understand the hotel culture, they should point to the pattern of the menu and ask the children, "What do you want to eat, little guy?" If you buy furniture at home, ask your children for advice. Don't think that your children are not sensible. Children have always had their own views on the world, but they are different from adults. Educated parents are those who are used to asking their children's opinions. Such parents will make their children feel that their opinions are important. If a child has the opportunity to participate in the negotiation of "family planning" and "family decision-making" at an early age, he will have the opportunity to make his own voice at home, and he will accumulate experience and form his own opinions. He will know how to make his own decisions with his own mind.

Let children not only participate in family decision-making, but also participate in housework, let children cherish their parents' work in housework, be grateful to all those who have helped them, and let children form independent survival skills in housework.

If furniture, toys or clothes are damaged, parents had better ask their children to repair them. In the process of repairing toys, furniture or clothes, children will become careful, confident, optimistic, diligent, hands-on and full of enthusiasm for life. Westerners call people who are good at repairing toys or furniture "all Jack's hands", which is an interesting statement.

If children's clothes or toys are damaged beyond repair, parents can of course buy new ones for their children, but if the damaged clothes or toys can be repaired, and if parents show enough patience to overcome difficulties and repair them with their children, then the old clothes or toys that have been repaired with patience and hard work are the best gifts for their children. Children will realize their parents' love and responsibility from the process of sewing clothes or toys patiently.

The benefits of inviting children to mend clothes and repair toys and furniture are not only to cultivate the close relationship between children and their parents, but more importantly, if children develop the habit of mending clothes and repairing toys from an early age, they will learn to "mend life" and "repair life" when they grow up.

When children's toys and clothes are broken, children will face three choices: first, throw away the broken clothes or toys and never want similar clothes or toys again. This is a stupid child. He may be inattentive and easily distracted. Second, not only throw away worn-out clothes and toys, but also buy new clothes or toys at all costs. This is an irresponsible child who likes the new and hates the old. He may not cherish the resources of life and respect his parents' work. The third is to mend clothes or toys as soon as possible. If a child has developed the habit of mending clothes and toys since childhood, then the child not only learns to cherish clothes and toys, but also learns to "mend life" and "repair life" when he grows up. He will use his patience and care to treat all kinds of cracks, temporary interruptions or unpleasantness in interpersonal communication that may occur in his life.

A child's attitude towards rags or toys indicates his future attitude towards life. A child who can't mend clothes or repair toys can't tolerate any conflict, hindrance or unhappiness in life when he grows up. In marriage, once there are small differences or twists and turns, he may refuse feelings because of lack of patience and care, and hate marriage itself and choose celibacy. Or, he will abandon the old marriage and choose to remarry. The habit of constantly abandoning old toys and buying new toys when I was a child is closely related to remarriage when I am an adult. In times of economic difficulties, people's attitude towards clothes is "new three years, old three years, sewing again and again for three years", and they will treat their marriage with this attitude. The divorce rate was low at that time. Later, when the economy developed, people didn't need to sew clothes, let alone be patient and careful. There are fewer mending clothes and more divorces.

2。 The influence of parents' living habits on their children

In 2007, San Pu Exhibition published a survey report: "Class is hereditary: don't let your children fall into a" dirty society ". The survey report of San Pu Exhibition shows some subtle relationships between parents' living habits and children's grades:

Children with good grades have more organized and interesting mothers. ..... An organized but interesting mother is more likely to bring up children with good grades. For children with good grades, the mother is usually a planned and agile person. ..... The more serious, organized and polite a father is, the better his children's grades will be. ..... children with poor grades have a disordered diet. ..... The worse the grades, the more children depend on the food in convenience stores.

San Pu's suggestion is: "What parents can do is to improve their children's living habits. ..... It may be impossible for parents to suddenly increase their income, let alone suddenly improve their academic qualifications. In this case, the only thing parents can do is to try to improve their children's living habits. " Children's living habits will affect their grades: "The better their grades, the more active their personality, and they also love sports and have more friends. But the worse your grades are, the more passive your personality is and you are not good at sports. At the same time, they have fewer friends and basically love playing video games. "

Parents' living habits mainly include daily life and marital love life. In order to provide a suitable environment for children to grow up, parents need to pay special attention to three points: first, the emotional life between husband and wife; The second is "eating habits"; The third is the habit of "work and rest", especially the habit of "going to bed early and getting up early" and "persisting in exercise".

First, the relationship between husband and wife affects the child's personality. If husband and wife respect each other, children learn to respect others from here. If husband and wife tolerate and appreciate each other, children learn to tolerate and appreciate others from here. If a man doesn't respect his wife, then his son learns to disrespect his female classmates at school. If a woman doesn't respect her husband, then her daughter learns to look down on her male classmates at school. Some couples have a bad relationship, and it is very uncomfortable for children to be caught in the middle. If couples often quarrel, children will be "neurotic". He will be skeptical about the opposite sex and marriage when he grows up.

Second, be cautious about "eating habits". If there is no special difficulty, parents had better go home to have dinner with their children every day. Family values are established in the process of eating around a table. The family ate around a table, worried about each other's eating habits, talked about some relaxing topics, and occasionally made a crisp sound of cups and plates colliding. This is the best education. Parents and children don't have a common language, often because parents don't eat around a table for a long time. Many people learn how to be an interesting speaker and a good listener at the family dinner table.

Third, form the habit of "going to bed early and getting up early" and "persisting in exercise". The oldest and most classic way to make children "healthy" is to "go to bed early and get up early". Franklin said, "Early to bed and early to rise makes a man rich, healthy and wise".

In addition to "going to bed early and getting up early", another ancient and classic way to make children "healthy" is to "keep exercising", especially to make children close to nature and have enough outdoor activities.

In order to let children establish the habit of going to bed early and getting up early and insisting on exercise, parents had better demonstrate it in person. Without the demonstration of parents, it is difficult for children to form a lasting habit of going to bed early, getting up early and exercising. Children sleep late, often because the whole family has a chaotic schedule.

In order to make children get into the habit of going to bed early and getting up early, it is best for the whole family to watch less TV and try to control the time when children watch TV. It is best to watch TV for an hour or half an hour every day.

Parents sometimes complain that their children watch too much TV. In fact, there is a "little thing" watching TV at home, and there must be several "old things" watching TV at home. Some people turn on the TV first thing when they get up every day, and turn on the TV first thing when they come home from work. These people have no other hobbies, no other subjects, and television is their only recourse. Some young couples have a good relationship at first and often chat. Then there was nothing to talk about, so I had to live a boring life and watch TV. Television has such a function that people all over the world who don't want to communicate and are not interested can wait silently in front of that "black box". They don't want to associate with their peers, read books, exercise, and just watch TV.

The invention of TV set destroyed the living habits of human beings, and the next more serious problem was the invention of a remote control. The remote control means that people can curl up in a comfortable sofa like potatoes away from the TV. Some people are really hopeless. They curl up on the sofa every day, holding the remote control in their hands, shaking, pressing buttons and changing channels. People can't know exactly what program he wants to watch. In fact, he is not interested in any programs. His only interest is to show that he is still alive and active.

Spock, an American expert in parenting education, said: "One thing I strongly object to is watching TV. Even high-quality children's TV programs will constrain children's imagination, because TV has done everything for children and hardly requires children to make any efforts. " If children can't live normally after leaving TV, it means that their reading ability is relatively low.

"Children who have never developed the habit of watching TV will not miss TV, and they will fill their lives with other activities." The TV set at home is broken, so there is no need to repair it in a hurry. Living without watching TV for a few days once in a while can bring fun to the family. In that case, children and their families can't rely on passive entertainment, but learn from thousands of years of human practice and actively create and develop their interests through reading, writing or talking. "If there is a TV in the children's bedroom, you'd better move it."

However, no matter how bad TV is, it can bring people entertainment and recreation. Even if TV corrupts people, people sometimes need to "degenerate once in a while." "If you don't do useless things, you can't live an extreme life." . It is neither necessary nor normal to watch TV at all for the sake of children's growth.

Parents can expose their children to computer games, but they must strictly limit the time of playing games and monitor the theme of the games. "Computer games are ideal teaching tools. Unfortunately, these games often teach children how to shoot quickly and accurately. " "The more shots are shot in computer games, the less afraid children are of killing people." If children are unfortunately infected with "Internet addiction", it is either because parents have not made rules for their children to surf the Internet, or because children can't find enough sense of accomplishment outside computer games.